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Anyone else here work outside the home? - Page 2

post #21 of 33
I was about half done with my midwifery apprenticeship when dd was born. I took 4 months off from seeing clients and nine months off form being oncall.

I never had any success pumping which mostly meant a lot of running back and forth between appointments and relying on people to bring her to nurse when I was at longer births.

I was lucky that almost all of the people I worked with and for were very supportive of my and dd relationship and my mothering philosophy.

Now she's 2 1/2 and I am starting my own practice. I try to do as much as I can during naps. We have a few close friends who will be with on-call. In some ways it is easy because midwifery is my passion so I am driven to make to make it work for us- even though it means limited personal time for me. The main downside is the lack of schedule- I think it is hard for little ones to have no routine (or a routine that is always getting interuppted).

The funny thing is I didn't really think of myself as a WOHM until I started feeling so stressed about trying to do it all- when dd was about 1 1/2. Now I have embraced that title a little more and it lets me give myself a mental break.
post #22 of 33

Me too

I am new here and glad to have found this. I am a pediatric critical care advanced practiced nurse. DD is 25 mos and comes to work onsite with me. My decision to go back was due to a few things . . . we were living in expensive NYC in an apartment with plans of buying a house in NJ and all of that expense (cars, had very little furniture, etc); 401K, getting vested, benefits, graduated not long before DD was born and didn't want there to be a big gap between graduating as an APN and working as one---afraid I wouldn't get hired, the importance of what I do (caring for critically ill kids and teaching nurses to care for them) and finally, the fact that I knew I had a good situation---excellent onsite care and the ability to nurse at lunch and pump, short commute, understanding boss and peers and an extremely flexible position. I will be looking to do something creative when I have a 2nd child but wish to stay at the same hospital with the same onsite center and benefits, hoping for a PT nurse practitioner position or job sharing my current job. If it doesn't work I will stay home for a year or so then look for a similar situation . . .

I pumped for a year and didn't really hate it--I got to go back to my office for a bit and destress

I am lucky enough to have a cleaning person every 2 weeks and a DH who doesn't mind simple meals. I try to spend all of my time outside work with DD (and as little as possible not focused on her. However, at her age now she "helps" with household tasks which makes it a bit easier) and as much as I can with DH (sometimes he works long hours)

It can be tough but I feel we have a good balance right now. I limit my work week to 8 hr days, have to do some weekends (when DD is with DH and her grandparents from Boston often also come) and I get comp time during the week for that and I also have to take my "paid time off" (vacation/holiday/sick time) or lose it which works out to about 37 days a year so I work an average of 4 days most weeks.

It is tough but it CAN be done . . . and the quality of time with your kids is what is most important. remember, if you work 40 hrs you are not working 128 hours a week!
post #23 of 33
I went back to work as a receptionist during third shift six months ago. Ds was four and dd was three.

I miss them, but they are sleeping when I'm working, and dh is at home with them, so it's really not that much of a big deal to them. When I'm at home, and awake, I try to spend as much time with them as I can.

They still love me, I still feel very attached, and it's working out okay. Other than me not sleeping very much and really hating household chores, that is.
post #24 of 33
Hi Andib! I have a daughter named Casey, too.....although, she'll be 13 years old on February 15th. Yikes, I can't believe I almost have a teenager. Casey is such a pretty name, and I've always thought of it as a girl's name.

That aside, I have another daughter, 9 years old, and a son on the way, due April 5th. I've always had to work. Unfortunately, things are very expensive in New Jersey, and it would be an extremely hard slog if I had stayed home when my daughters were babies. "Impossible" is the word that comes to mind! My ex-husband didn't make that much money, and in fact was very cavalier about not having any and not worrying about where the $$ was going to come from. Not very comforting, to say the least.

I was remarried in June of '02, and my new husband is absolutely the best, in all ways. He's so excited about my pregnancy and the baby! As an aside, he makes a much better living than my first husband. I'm planning on taking the 6 months leave (unpaid, of course!) that my company allows. After that, I'm thinking about the possibility of staying home full-time, or at least going back to work part-time. I think that would be the ideal. It's a very tough decision. Ideally, of course, I wouldn't have to work at all, and could stay home with my new son, and be able to pick my daughters up after school, etc. However, we bought a house in May of '02, and have very large house payments. We have to start thinking about saving for college for the kids (we haven't put any money away yet), and there are a lot of other expenses. It would a burden on my DH, and things would be tight for many years. Plus, I'll have 20 years with my company this year, and just got my five weeks of vacation. I'll be 40 this year, and like it or not, I have to begin thinking towards the retirement years. So many questions, and sometimes I think it's just not fair that we moms have to make these decisions!

I give kudos to all of the work-outside-of-home and going-to-school moms here....it's a tough thing no matter how you look at it. Unfortunately, sometimes on these boards I feel like working moms get looked down upon a bit. It's nice to see a thread like this.
post #25 of 33
Hi everyone. I am officially de-lurking.

I haven't posted here before, because I wasn't sure whether I am going to continue to WOH or not, but now I am pretty sure that I want to.

I WOH part-time. I took extended leave from my job and was at home with dd and ds until they were a year old, then went back part-time, a schedule which remains.

I work Monday 9-3, Tuesday 9-3, and Wednesday 9-12 - I'm lucky to be <10 minutes drive from my office. I also do work from home, though I have a firm rule - ONLY when dd and ds are napping or after their bedtime.

We have a wonderful, loving, pro-AP nanny who comes to our house. She has been working with us since dd and ds were 6 months old - long before I knew whether or not I was going to even go back to work. When the time came last spring, it was really easy actually, because we had worked side by side for so long, and she really knew dd and ds.
post #26 of 33

I did up until a few weeks ago

when I was "sent home." Loong story. Basically I had a lot of "attagirls" saved up and you know what happens when you "aws**t" GONE LIKE THE WIND. Sigh.

Anyway, I now WAH but, my kids are 4 and 7 and are in daycare and public school, so I maintain the day schedule. I do have to work a lot on weekends and evenings, though, to get lines typed (I'm a medical transcriptionist) in order to make the budget!

Funny, I was stressing to DH today about "working all the time," and he said, "well, it's not as bad as you think. When you were at the office you brought it all home with you, plus you had to work at night on top of it." He's been very supportive of the change, though he thinks they are stupid to have sent me home.

I like the break, though. I think I would make a really bad SAHM. I thought about home schooling but I truly don't think I have the discipline or talent for it. I'm planning to take oldest DS out of afterschool care soon and look forward to working with him on homework after school and such, and getting more involved with his school since my schedule is now so much more flexible.
post #27 of 33
Add me to the list of WOHers. AndiB, if you're where I think you are, I graduated from that Uni way back in '93. So, what a small world it is. I'm a full-time PhD student, & I work pt tutoring in BioSci during semester. Kiddos are 3 & 5, but I'm trying to get away with only being at Uni 3 days per week & work from home the other 2 (ha! more like the other 4!) That's not working very well, so I'm trying to drop back to part-time studies. There are a whole bunch of us out here in MDC land trying to combine the work-family thang- the Working Mamas forum is pretty friendly like that. Welcome.
post #28 of 33
i'm a WOHM mom too. I'm a surgery resident, now doing research so with a more normal schedule. Still not enough time with my boy, but what are you going to do? Thankfully, I still have almost 1 1/2 years before I go back in the hospital. I miss operating but don't miss the insane schedule!
post #29 of 33
just saw this thread so I'll chime in -

I've actually been WOH since dd was three days old! How you ask? Well, dd was in the NICU for 10 days because she was born six weeks early and I didn't have my office in order for maternity leave. I couldn't do much at the hospital between feedings so I popped over to my office to make sure our graduate assistants were put on the payroll for spring term! (I work at a university coordinating internships and exchange programs.) So, from the very beginning I came in to the office about 4 hrs/wk just to keep things afloat (my office is pretty much a one woman show) and gradually increased the hours until I was back full time when dd was 4 months old. I now work 4 10-hour days which is great. My dh cares for dd while I am at work since he has a home business that is flexible.

I really like my job and we need the stability of it since dh has his own business. The only sucky part was when I had to travel to Europe for our exchange programs when dd was 9 and 11 months old (1 week the first trip, 5 days the second). I think the people on the plane thought I was crazy - bawling my eyes out and trying to discretely pump in coach class -- NIP is much easier! I have pumped on a plane, I have pumped on a train, I can pump in a car, I can pump from afar (ok, so my attempt at Dr. Suess is lame)

I too am sick of pumping now that dd is 13 months old. Not sure when I'll quit because we don't give her any liquids besides ebm and a little water -- she's had enough formula in her short life while I dealt with some supply issues and I'm not big on cow's milk (that's for baby cows right?). :LOL But, she is down to one and a half small bottles per day while I'm at work so I could probaby skip pumping all together soon but deep down I don't know if I trust my body to keep producing enough milk for her for the times when I'm home (she's a major night nurser) -- anyone with advice on this please speak up. But..... since I am 35 and hope to have 3 kids we're thinking about number 2 which may lead to weaning anyway.

Ah well. Nuf about me -- glad to see so many WOHM's here!

post #30 of 33
I work full-time out of the home...ds is 6 years old and dd is 13 months old. I'm still pumping too at work. I wouldn't mind cutting back a few hours, but I have a flexible job and ds is in school and attends an after-school program and dd is in a daycare nearby...she is well cared for. Other than maybe wanting to cut back a few hours...I think its a pretty good situation..I'm the main breadwinner for the family. Sometimes I wish I could be home more but I don't think I'm completely cut out for being at home all the time.
post #31 of 33

fulltime wohm

I went back to work when dd was 3 weeks because dh was laid off. She is now 9 weeks old. I pump for her at work, shich i hate, and nurse on demand at home. He just got a job so I'm hoping that I can stay home a bit cause my supply is taking a hit. At the moment I work 45 hours a week.
post #32 of 33
I work outside our home, but I'm able to bring Christopher along. My parents adopted 2 chinese girls within the past 2 years and they work at home...so while my mom works, I take care of them. So during the day I'm responsible for a 5 month old (mine), a 3 year old and special needs 7 year old.
Gives me a taste of what I'm in for! :LOL
post #33 of 33
I'm a university teacher too, and work two hours every morning. I was heartbroken having to return to work when ds was 4 months old, but it's been going OK this year so far despite my fears. I've found it's actually relaxing to sit in the quiet classroom before 9:30, when class starts, and just organize and think for a few minutes.

Getting out of the house is the tough part, as so many others have said! What a disaster area the house is.

Sadly, I never could pump enough to make it worth my while; dh just gives the baby formula if he's unable to extend him until I get home at 11:45. My milk supply seems fine otherwise, anyway.

By the way, I was in exactly your position for many years--part time, that is--until they needed someone full time, and I got the job. (Yes--here, two hours a day is full time!). I don't adore my job, but you can't beat the hours and the vacations!

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