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When you see this picture what do you think??

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/i...ick/th_695.jpg


Ok I know this seems unrelated to Blended/Step parenting but I assure you its relavent once I get some unpersuaded input I'll explain.
post #2 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camp-a-roo View Post
Looks to me like two kids sweetly helping each other cross a snowy parking lot.

The kids' faces/identities aren't showing, so I can't imagine exes battling if one of them publically posted this photo... maybe one ex is mad that another kid, not the ex, is helping their child cross?

Or the exes won't speak to each other so the transfer of kids takes place in a parking lot with neither ex getting out of his/her car? And a stepparent thinks the kids are unsafe?

"Guess how this is relevant to blended families" is a pretty interesting game!
post #3 of 19
To me, it says that kids get along just fine, whether they're just friends, brother and sister, step-siblings, half-siblings, etc.

May be I'm way off base here, in my philosophical hat today.
post #4 of 19
Looks like little brother and sister walking along. Much love in between.
post #5 of 19
Thread Starter 
Ok because I'm inpatient I'm going to explain now even though I only have 3 responses.

DP's ex saw this photo and brought it in to court as her starting place to at proving DP is an unfit parent.


Seriously if anyone looks at that photo and would be pissed that one of those kids were yours please explain. DP is at the van infront putting our littlest guy in and I'm like two feet behind in the driving area making sure no cars come while I snap the pic. Its a residental parking lot of maybe 80 cars, that rarely use this part of the lot anyways. I thought it was sweet and took advatage of the fact that I had my camera in my hand. Ex claimed it looks slippery and they could have fell and been run over and that DP obvously isn't capable of rating risks. I just don't get it. Kids fall all the time, and obviously someone is right behind them or the pic couldn't have happened. Also if this say were a mall parking lot or a street I so would get it but really.

Anyone else think shes just dragging her feet to make this take as long as possible.
post #6 of 19
I'm curious to see how the judge took it?
"Danger" is not what was going through my mind, really. I can't imagine it being taken seriously in court. Sorry for the unnecessary stress you had to go through.
post #7 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seasons
maybe one ex is mad that another kid, not the ex, is helping their child cross?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camp-a-roo View Post
DP's ex saw this photo and brought it in to court as her starting place to at proving DP is an unfit parent....Ex claimed it looks slippery and they could have fell and been run over and that DP obvously isn't capable of rating risks.
So, Don Pardo, what do I win? Oh, I know: avoiding court battles like this (my ex-husband has no visitation, whew).

Good luck!
post #8 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I'm curious to see how the judge took it?
"Danger" is not what was going through my mind, really. I can't imagine it being taken seriously in court. Sorry for the unnecessary stress you had to go through.
I'm seriously surprised the judge let her move forward when this is the best she can come up with. And actually the only stress was prolonged legal expenses bc I know me and DP are great parents. It just kills me that this stuff is allowed to go on. I think DP should get something immediatly after hes found a fit parent bc really why wouldnt she be a pain in the ass if there is no consicunces(sp?)??
post #9 of 19
WOW! i do not think that that thought crossed my mind when I looked at that picture actually I smiled and thought what a beautiful picture!

I have the best pictures of Ds in a parking lot at niagara falls there was a huge snow hill from the plows and STBDH Ds and my aunts dog climbed it. Some people are just so nit picky it can be sad. I would hope if your DH told the judge that you were right behind them and he was right in front of them the judge blew it off!

it is just a beautiful picture that I would actually hang up Also how do they not know if someone is right next to them and you just cut them out of the picture It looked like a postcard

I have a picture of Ds at about 7 months sitting on a rock by Glenn Falls (yes we like waterfalls over here) and you cannot see that I am holding him up because of the way the picture was taken!

ETA: If I am right it looks as though your Dh is standing there looking right at them! Or is that not him and he looks to be less than a few feet away!
post #10 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunShineSally View Post

ETA: If I am right it looks as though your Dh is standing there looking right at them! Or is that not him and he looks to be less than a few feet away!
Nope thats him. She cut him out of the pic she showed the judge so when we go back we have to have the original.

Glad I'm not the only one who just saw a cute brother sister moment.
post #11 of 19
I see nothing wrong with the picture, just two siblings or close friends walking along together. If the original poster's Ex is trying to made a case out of that, only a blind judge would agree with her!

It's sad how someone who wasn't even there is allowed to pass judgement, and then bring to court her judgement on the situation. It's not like it's a picture of two toddlers playing ball in the middle of a freeway! Where's her proof that a car was gonna run them over in the parking lot? Where's her proof that it was slippery? Where's her proof that someone wasn't right there? (Ummm.. so the picture took itself? )
post #12 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camp-a-roo View Post
Nope thats him. She cut him out of the pic she showed the judge so when we go back we have to have the original.

Glad I'm not the only one who just saw a cute brother sister moment.

Good that you have one to show that he was right there! If i was a judge I would have to bite my tounge from saying aww they are so cute look at that. So what are you here for again
post #13 of 19
thats crazy. i just saw a cute picture too... and obviously someone was there, theres a picture to prove it, lol
post #14 of 19
Sometimes they will stop at nothing! That is a cute pic... wait! Are those reverse lights on that car...oh no! It is dangerous! Isn't that parking lot sloping to the edge of a ravine? Seriously though, that's grasping...and we haven't been able to do anything about actually dangerous situations in bm's house so I wouldn't worry, I'm sure a judge even thinks this is ridiculous and petty. Nice try lady!

I had my anonymous blog brought to court...that was fun. I have been banned from all blogging regarding my dss according to the judge, but she gets to bash me repeatedly and brutally all over the internet w/no consequences.... There really is an uphill battle for dads...unfortunately.
post #15 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtsyHeartsy View Post
w/no consequences.... There really is an uphill battle for dads...unfortunately.
No joking.


How is it that they want to know my finacial income but my debts don't matter?? Or why do we have to fill out a huge insane list of what we spend where and on what when we make a 3rd of what she does have 2 of our own children plus CS and we still spend on DSS and she dosn't have to answer to why she only has her and her sons expences and they had to use the food bank?? Where is her money going to? : ok rant over.

Glad to see im not just some nieve unfit parent who likes to take pics and post about it.
post #16 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camp-a-roo View Post
No joking.


How is it that they want to know my finacial income but my debts don't matter?? Or why do we have to fill out a huge insane list of what we spend where and on what when we make a 3rd of what she does have 2 of our own children plus CS and we still spend on DSS and she dosn't have to answer to why she only has her and her sons expences and they had to use the food bank?? Where is her money going to? : ok rant over.

Glad to see im not just some nieve unfit parent who likes to take pics and post about it.
I agree with you and it is so very frustrating
post #17 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camp-a-roo View Post
DP's ex saw this photo and brought it in to court as her starting place to at proving DP is an unfit parent.
Your point - that the photo couldn't have been taken if there weren't an interested party directly behind the children, in addition to the adult you can see in front of them - is on-target and important. The ex may find that this kind of crap backfires on her, because it will show the court that she is determined to demonize her kids' dad, no matter how far she has to stretch logic to do so. And what does that say about how she probably portrays your DP to the kids and to other influential people in their lives, like other relatives, childcare providers, teachers, their friends' parents, etc.? That makes her look bad, especially if your DP takes the high road and he doesn't do the same type of thing.

It all depends on the judge. Remember, if things seem to be going badly, you're usually entitled to one change of judge just for the asking (i.e., without having to prove the original judge did anything wrong).

My husband dealt with several legal professionals who seemed to just accept that if his ex used any key word like "abuse", "harassment", "intimidation" or "threat", whatever she had done wrong (denying visitation, denying phone contact, blocking my husband's access to their child's school, requesting protective orders, moving the child out of state with scarcely any notice...) must have been the response she deemed necessary due to my husband's behavior. Finally, a judge actually took the time to look at some of the specifics his ex was complaining about. (One particularly glaring example: the ex moved 2,500 miles away 2 weeks before my step-son's birthday. It was my husband's year to have the child that day. Naturally, my husband e-mailed her that he would fly out to see their son for the occasion. She requested a P.O. in her new state, claiming my husband had "threatened" to "follow them" and that she and the child perceived that as "stalking" and felt "intimidated" and "frightened"!!!!) The ex testified in front of this new judge that the reason she was so resistant to letting my husband have any parenting time when he flew out there to visit was because of a "history of abuse". With their previous judge, that would have been enough of a reason, without explaining what exactly "history of abuse" meant. Thank God, this new judge cut her off and said something to the effect of, "What history of abuse? You've never shown the court anything that a reasonable person would call abuse. The only history I can see here is your repeated, inappropriate use of that word." :

Sometimes reason does prevail. That judge awarded my husband sole custody. I hope that reason and common sense will prevail in your situation, as well.
post #18 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeannine View Post
Your point - that the photo couldn't have been taken if there weren't an interested party directly behind the children, in addition to the adult you can see in front of them - is on-target and important. The ex may find that this kind of crap backfires on her, because it will show the court that she is determined to demonize her kids' dad, no matter how far she has to stretch logic to do so. And what does that say about how she probably portrays your DP to the kids and to other influential people in their lives, like other relatives, childcare providers, teachers, their friends' parents, etc.? That makes her look bad, especially if your DP takes the high road and he doesn't do the same type of thing.

It all depends on the judge. Remember, if things seem to be going badly, you're usually entitled to one change of judge just for the asking (i.e., without having to prove the original judge did anything wrong).

My husband dealt with several legal professionals who seemed to just accept that if his ex used any key word like "abuse", "harassment", "intimidation" or "threat", whatever she had done wrong (denying visitation, denying phone contact, blocking my husband's access to their child's school, requesting protective orders, moving the child out of state with scarcely any notice...) must have been the response she deemed necessary due to my husband's behavior. Finally, a judge actually took the time to look at some of the specifics his ex was complaining about. (One particularly glaring example: the ex moved 2,500 miles away 2 weeks before my step-son's birthday. It was my husband's year to have the child that day. Naturally, my husband e-mailed her that he would fly out to see their son for the occasion. She requested a P.O. in her new state, claiming my husband had "threatened" to "follow them" and that she and the child perceived that as "stalking" and felt "intimidated" and "frightened"!!!!) The ex testified in front of this new judge that the reason she was so resistant to letting my husband have any parenting time when he flew out there to visit was because of a "history of abuse". With their previous judge, that would have been enough of a reason, without explaining what exactly "history of abuse" meant. Thank God, this new judge cut her off and said something to the effect of, "What history of abuse? You've never shown the court anything that a reasonable person would call abuse. The only history I can see here is your repeated, inappropriate use of that word." :

Sometimes reason does prevail. That judge awarded my husband sole custody. I hope that reason and common sense will prevail in your situation, as well.


Thanks for sharing!! I really hope it goes this way because our relationship keeps suffering from the continous strain her "imagination" is putting on us.
post #19 of 19
Super cute picture, btw.
It's unreal what people do in court. When we went to court for sole custody of ods against my abusive alcoholic xh, his counter argument was that I was unfit because I had a prescription for Tylenol 3 to use for migraine, during our marriage that ended 7 years ago! Nice try, buddy. It didn't hold up very well against his failed drug and alcohol tests.
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