GD'ing 2 year old - Newbie needs help

[sothisislove]

I'm a GD newbie and need some help (plus a book to read! LOL) LO keeps throwing things off the deck. The natural consequence is that he no longer has the toy/shovel/ball/whatever. But he doesn't care. He just keeps on doing it. Today we were transplanting our tomatoe plants into pots. I wanted him to help and have ownership and all that, but he threw something over the deck. He chose to throw it....He had it in his hands, held over his head. I said, "Please keep the ball on the deck....Stop, please. Don't throw the ball." Of course, there was no eye contact, but I feel like he heard me. He seem to be weighing the pros and cons. Of course he threw it. I made him go inside (dumb consequence) and then I felt bad. I was the one punished!! I wanted him to help, but instead he sat at the glass door and sadly watched me.

Also, he absolutely terrorized our cat (she's big enough to defend herself or at least run away. She doesn't though, she just takes it) and the 5 kittens. He chases them with brooms, drags them around by their necks and such. I usually just try to keep them apart and avoid the situation. But he acts like he totally doesn't hear me when we say things like 'be nice to the kitties.' 'use soft hands with the kitties'

He's very verbal and will often chime in, "yeah, kitties get owie. Kitty sad"

HELP! Any tips? :

[mom2grrls]

First for his age I would clear those things off the deck and put them on the ground if you don't want him to throw them. He's playing a game that's fun for him When you have something that's absolutely not ok say toys are not for throwing and remove him, don't trust him to stop himself, he's too young. Kids that age are not always gentle with animals so get those kittens away from him-gate them in a room with their needed supplies. As for the cat it's just going to have to be watching him carefully around her and intervening before he even gets to her. It will be a while before he "gets it" unfortunately lol.

[alegna]

At that age, don't give him the leeway to do things you don't want him to. Don't give him toys (or tools) on the deck that you don't want thrown off. Don't let him around the cats to torment them. He's simply not old enough/mature enough to have the restraint that you're asking of him.

-Angela

[bendingbirch]

You have gotten totally wise advice here, the other thing I would add is to make sure he has the opportunity to push, tug, lug, pull, throw a ball...in other words, he has a need to get his energy out.
And yes, definitely he will not be able to be mature enough to stop himself from throwing fun things, or tormenting a cat, so you really are at the structuring the environment and using the rhythm of your day to help in your efforts to guide him. I wonder what he would have been interested in pouring some dirt from container to container while you did the tomatoes or would it have been more successful to just transplant them later by yourself, or what would have worked best for him? He may have been interested in the watering (with lots of extra water so he could water the deck as well as himself, of course, LOL).

[sothisislove]

Thanks and another question.

Thanks for the advice ladies!

yes, he was scooping dirt from one pot to another, and I did take him back out later to water the toms. I'm going to try to focus more on letting him have fun with throwing the helicopter seed pod thingys off the deck, and move the bball hoop and ball to ground level.

Another question:

My friend at work knows nothing of GD, and I don't feel that I know enough to council her...she's in a tough situatin. She can't really remove her 18mo from the things he can't touch. She's living with her dad in a house full of glass nicknacks and curios. He hears, 'no' alot and has started hitting her in the face and biting when she takes him away from the glass coffee table or whatever.

Her dad doesn't want to move any of his deceased wife's things...
I've suggested that she speak to her dad about creating an area specifically for him to have free reign in.

Any suggestions?

[dulce de leche]

I think your idea is excellent. An approach to baby-proofing that I really like is to compare it with how they would act if an adult with certain physical limitations moved in. They'd probably arrange things to be as comfortable and convenient as possible, maybe even installing ramps, etc. For a child who truly needs the physical and mental freedom to explore his surroundings without constantly being stopped, showing some of the same consideration makes life easier for everyone.