Feel Like a Horrible Mother... - Page 2

[boscopup]

I agree with doing whatever ends up making you and baby happy and healthy.

I also want to say that this baby could be completely different. My first was the type to nurse every 1.5-2 hours round the clock. My second? He was so efficient that he'd nurse in about 10 minutes and only do it every 4 hours! He even slept 4 hours at night from the first night. I was shocked. We did have latch issues to work through (short tongue - made it difficult to get latched, but once he was latched, he was incredibly efficient), and that took about 6 weeks, but then it became super easy and I just couldn't believe how little he nursed. He NEVER comfort nursed. He only nursed for food, and it was a quick nursing session.

My friend's second baby was the exact same way as mine too, and her first had been a big comfort nurser like my first had been.

Have you checked into LLL in your area? I usually prefer LLL leaders over LCs anyway (in general - there are good LCs out there).

[goin' green]

I agree that you need to do what's best for you and baby, and if BFing is going to cause guilt/resentment, then clearly that is not the best path. But, I also think it can't hurt to try, unless you REALLY hate even the thought of it. I think you have to be open to it, or else you're really just setting yourself up for failure.

I have to disagree with the LCs comment though. I think in most cases, they are great, and there are a few that do more harm than good. For me, mine was a blessing. I had horrible latch initially (hospital I delivered at didnt have an LC on staff, so I saw one that worked through a local BFing-type store), and then she later helped me when i was convinced I had thrush, which I did.

There are too many things we have to deal with in our roles as parents to set ourselves up for guilt so early on. So don't! Make the decision that's best for your family and KNOW you've made the right one. You obviously care or it woudln't upset you this much. Don't be so hard on yourself!

[goin' green]

Oh -and jsut throwing this out there, (not necessarily to the OP) but help doesn't HAVE to come in the form of an LC either. I found Jack Newman's site on BFing and his videos super helpful, kellymom.com, as well as LLL groups. There you might not necessarily find a LC, but women who have years of experience with BFing.

[chely7425]

The closest LLL that I can find is about an hour away... which is probably not doable, but if I really need it maybe, though it would involve getting DH's command to give him time off to take me since we only have one car. I think I will commit to trying for 2 weeks, because I should have help around for that long for DS1. Thank you guys so much for your support

[goin' green]

Then maybe the online resources I mentioned?

For me DS was born on the Thursday before 4th of July - went home from hospital on Saturday - I woke up Sunday engorged, in tons of pain and would literally weep through each nursing session. Our latch was just killing my nipples. So, I called LLL and the local nursing store (where the LC was). NO ONE could see me til Weds (the 4th was on Tuesday). I had no idea how I was going to make it through til then. We had no formula, as I refused to take any home with me. So, hubby (who was so great) sent me to bed to sleep, and when I woke up I watched some of the latching videos on Jack Newmans' site. Totally got me through til Weds without supplementing (not that supp'ing is bad - I personally just didn't want to go down that road). Anyway, that experience was followed by 2 painful bouts of thrush as well.

Long story short, I was much more mainstream then and really had no plans to nurse past 6 mos. 2.5 years later, I gently weaned my son after I became pregnant with #2. I loved it too much to stop!

This experience can be different for you. Just don't forget that part and start believing it!

[phrogger]

Originally Posted by chely7425

The closest LLL that I can find is about an hour away... which is probably not doable, but if I really need it maybe, though it would involve getting DH's command to give him time off to take me since we only have one car. I think I will commit to trying for 2 weeks, because I should have help around for that long for DS1. Thank you guys so much for your support

have your ped write a script for you to see a LC and give it to DH's command and they might be able to write him TAD orders and pay for the mileage.

I live in a rural area and ANYTHING like that, that I have to go to out of our immediate area, the command will pay our mileage. It isn't a ton, but at least will get the gas paid for.

[chely7425]

Originally Posted by phrogger

have your ped write a script for you to see a LC and give it to DH's command and they might be able to write him TAD orders and pay for the mileage.

I live in a rural area and ANYTHING like that, that I have to go to out of our immediate area, the command will pay our mileage. It isn't a ton, but at least will get the gas paid for.

Really?? I totally didn't know this!!!! Definitely worth a shot...

[phrogger]

Originally Posted by chely7425

Really?? I totally didn't know this!!!! Definitely worth a shot...

My DH is Navy, so I hope the Army does the same thing, but basically, you know how tricare is supposed to pay for your mileage if it is more then 100 miles round trip, well since that doesn't always happen, the commands do sometimes pay for it. We were just reminded of this because my step son has to go to a psychologist 45 miles away (under the 100 miles round trip).

[chely7425]

Originally Posted by phrogger

My DH is Navy, so I hope the Army does the same thing, but basically, you know how tricare is supposed to pay for your mileage if it is more then 100 miles round trip, well since that doesn't always happen, the commands do sometimes pay for it. We were just reminded of this because my step son has to go to a psychologist 45 miles away (under the 100 miles round trip).

Definitely something to look into!! Sucks living in such a podunk little town sometimes

[phrogger]

Originally Posted by chely7425

Definitely something to look into!! Sucks living in such a podunk little town sometimes

Tell me about it. It took me a LONG time to get used to living in cow country. I lived in San Diego my whole life, then moved to Central CA for DH and it was a huge adjustment. At least the military is realizing that it isn't fair to everyone.