Social reasons for circumcision

[BlessedMommy2006]

I've only had an intact boy for a little under 3 months, but in that timespan, my inexperienced opinion is that there is no need to circ for social reasons or because "everyone else is doing it."

I live in circ Central, lol, and I've gotten very few comments about my son being intact. Either people don't know or they don't care or they're too polite to make comments if they happen to see us doing a diaper change.

I mean, seriously, I don't know the circ status of my friends' kids (unless of course, they volunteer the information) and I don't ask.

So, my conclusion is unless a person lives in a nudist colony, their geographic location or the activities of other people living in said location will have little to no bearing on anything related to their son's intact status.

[tlh]

Very true.The idea that a boy should be circumcised to look like everybody else implies that most of the time we are naked.99% of the people in a boys life will never see his penis or say anything about it when they do.The other social reasons have been disproven too.An intact boy with a circumcised father never notices and never has a mental breakdown because of it.The locker room argument also dosen't make much sense considering if the other guys comment the most logical response is "why were you looking" and with a 50% or less rate of circumcision in some places it might be the other way around unfortunately.

[Shenjall]

I agree.
I also have a funny story to share. When my nephew was born, my bil and his wife were very adamant on having their son circ'd. Mostly "to look like daddy". : They refused to listen to any reason whatsoever. So, one day, talking to my bil about it (they loved to bring it up for some reason) he was going on and on about how he'll be "scarred" and "confused" if he were to notice that they looked different and how he was "doing the right thing" by circing him. I asked him why is it so important, "were you scarred by it?" He said no, b/c he and his dad are the same. I laughed and said, are you sure? Yup. He was sure and adamant that his dad was circ'd. I called in fil and asked him, and surprise, he's intact. And surprise, never any problems whatsoever. Bil's face went red, mumbled something about not knowing and left the room. Way to win the "look like dad" argument when your dad is intact and you had NO IDEA!!
(p.s I knew this beforehand b/c when we left ds intact, fil thanked us. )

[georgia]

Either people don't know or they don't care or they're too polite to make comments if they happen to see us doing a diaper change.

It would creep me right on out if a stranger commented on any of my children's genitalia during a diaper change. Definitely not my style.

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by Shenjall

I agree.
I also have a funny story to share. When my nephew was born, my bil and his wife were very adamant on having their son circ'd. Mostly "to look like daddy". : They refused to listen to any reason whatsoever. So, one day, talking to my bil about it (they loved to bring it up for some reason) he was going on and on about how he'll be "scarred" and "confused" if he were to notice that they looked different and how he was "doing the right thing" by circing him. I asked him why is it so important, "were you scarred by it?" He said no, b/c he and his dad are the same. I laughed and said, are you sure? Yup. He was sure and adamant that his dad was circ'd. I called in fil and asked him, and surprise, he's intact. And surprise, never any problems whatsoever. Bil's face went red, mumbled something about not knowing and left the room. Way to win the "look like dad" argument when your dad is intact and you had NO IDEA!!
(p.s I knew this beforehand b/c when we left ds intact, fil thanked us. )

sorry to hijack but that was a good story! so what was their decision?

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by Shenjall

I agree.
I also have a funny story to share. When my nephew was born, my bil and his wife were very adamant on having their son circ'd. Mostly "to look like daddy". : They refused to listen to any reason whatsoever. So, one day, talking to my bil about it (they loved to bring it up for some reason) he was going on and on about how he'll be "scarred" and "confused" if he were to notice that they looked different and how he was "doing the right thing" by circing him. I asked him why is it so important, "were you scarred by it?" He said no, b/c he and his dad are the same. I laughed and said, are you sure? Yup. He was sure and adamant that his dad was circ'd. I called in fil and asked him, and surprise, he's intact. And surprise, never any problems whatsoever. Bil's face went red, mumbled something about not knowing and left the room. Way to win the "look like dad" argument when your dad is intact and you had NO IDEA!!
(p.s I knew this beforehand b/c when we left ds intact, fil thanked us. )

Priceless!!! Was this before or after the baby boy was born and/or circ'd?


And BlessedMommy, you are absolutely right, there is no way social reasons are good ones for circumcising? Can you imagine how the little boys who are being circumcised now, are going to feel when they realize only half of their classmates or peers are circumcised, and the others are whole? Chances are that by the time they are grown, no one will be circumcising for any reasons other than religious, and then WHO is going to feel different and odd, the intact males, or the cut-for-social-reasons males?

I just feel so badly for men and boys who have these decisions made for them before they are even available to decide for themselves. We should ALL have the legislated right to make these decisions for ourselves. :`(

[Shenjall]

This was before. And sadly, they still went ahead and had him circ'd.

[KaylaBeanie]

Even in circ-happy Midwest, 20% of boys are intact, which means 1 in 4. So in a gym class of 28 boys, 7 will be intact should they all be naked for some reason. That's hardly a rarity

As the tides are turning, I think it's the cut boys who will feel the odd ones out and I hope that this ultimately leads to them researching it, leaving their own sons intact, and even restoring. I mean, if two boys notice they're different, who is going to feel cheated? The one whose parents inform him they sliced off part of his genitals, or the one whose parents left his alone?

*Note, I'm not saying that there should be ANY teasing/looking down on cut boys. That's as awful and shallow as looking down on intact boys.

[CrunchyKnitter]

I agree and we don't even have our son here yet! I hate this argument to cut because it just doesn't make much sense. First off, how many people are going to be looking at my son's penis? Probably not many and once he's old enough to be out on his own I would hope he's not spending hours in a locker room somewhere comparing his with others. And even if boys do that, by then it should be a little more mixed and since when is being different a big deal? Girls have chests that are all different sizes, that doesn't mean I'd give my daughter breast implants at 14 so she looks better in front of her friends!

[BlessedMommy2006]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

Even in circ-happy Midwest, 20% of boys are intact, which means 1 in 4. So in a gym class of 28 boys, 7 will be intact should they all be naked for some reason. That's hardly a rarity

Good point! I'm either sending my son to a local private school (where they don't even shower together let alone see each other naked) or homeschooling him so the hypothetical locker room thing would probably never even happen, but it's good to have a comeback for people who make that argument.

[MegBoz]

I agree the locker room argument is silly. I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing for a boy to look at another boy's package in the first place! So a boy wouldn't go commenting on it anyway.

But I notice no one is talking about when a young man begins having sexual experiences, what his partners may think. (If you teach him not to have any sexual relations until marriage, than I suppose the point is moot. But personally, I think it's best to have at least a few partners first.)

Just saying - it's another side of the coin I haven't seen mentioned here.

[Burnindinner]

Shenjall, that story is awesome. I wish the parents had paid attention. My DH is circ'ed, my FIL is not, and my DH didn't know until we had our DS!

MegBoz, that is an interesting question about sexual partners. I would suggest that parents go ahead and prepare their son for partners that might not be used to an intact penis, and it will be a good learning experience for the partner!

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by Burnindinner

, and it will be a good learning experience for the partner!

Does anyone know the best part about teaching someone about something...

If they get it wrong you make them do it over again. :

[KBecks]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

Even in circ-happy Midwest, 20% of boys are intact, which means 1 in 4. So in a gym class of 28 boys, 7 will be intact should they all be naked for some reason. That's hardly a rarity

20% is 1 in 5.

25% is 1 in 4.

In a gym class of 28 boys, and with an 80% circ rate, about 5 or 6 boys will be intact.

[KaylaBeanie]

I don't really see sex being a problem. Even in my generation, where most boys are cut, I've never heard of a girl freaking out and refusing to sleep with someone because he's intact. If anything, it's something excited and new for the female. I think the whole shallow female card has as much basis in reality as the adult man who had 946 infections by age 20 and had to be circ'd. Not unheard of, but very uncommon.

Plus, Dane Cook is intact. Do you really think his natural penis has ever stopped a woman from jumping into bed with him?

[MegBoz]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

I don't really see sex being a problem. Even in my generation, where most boys are cut, I've never heard of a girl freaking out and refusing to sleep with someone because he's intact. If anything, it's something excited and new for the female.

OK, not that it's a good basis for reality, but I was watching the show "Sex and the City" on on-demand & there was a whole episode about an uncut guy. The one character, Charlotte, didn't like it. The guy claimed he'd had many female partners who had the same reaction & because of it, he actually chose to get circ'd as an adult!

Yes, of course, it's just a fictional TV show that has all kinds of crazy stories, but I do remember talking about sex with a friend freshman year of college (this was 1995). She was promiscuous & was talking about her conquests & said, "just never go down on an uncut guy, ick!" So I've heard it.

Personally though, when I first saw an uncut man (a boyfriend who was born & raised in Europe), I thought it was interesting. Exactly as you said - it was fascinating.

[inchwormz]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

I don't really see sex being a problem. Even in my generation, where most boys are cut, I've never heard of a girl freaking out and refusing to sleep with someone because he's intact. If anything, it's something excited and new for the female. I think the whole shallow female card has as much basis in reality as the adult man who had 946 infections by age 20 and had to be circ'd. Not unheard of, but very uncommon.

Well, I'm afraid it's not nearly as uncommon as you think. I have two sisters are they are both freaked out over it (shallow is the tip of the iceberg). I don't think being with someone intact would actually stop them from sleeping with them, but they have both very openly stated they don't like it and prefer a circ't partner.

I also have more than one girlfriend that has stated the same - they don't like it. I'm not sure how I ended up with such shallow friends (opposites attract?!?) but there you have it.

[Pumpkinheadmommy]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

As the tides are turning, I think it's the cut boys who will feel the odd ones out and I hope that this ultimately leads to them researching it, leaving their own sons intact, and even restoring. I mean, if two boys notice they're different, who is going to feel cheated? The one whose parents inform him they sliced off part of his genitals, or the one whose parents left his alone?

*Note, I'm not saying that there should be ANY teasing/looking down on cut boys. That's as awful and shallow as looking down on intact boys.

This is a great point. I used to work with a group of young men, all American except one of whom was British. They loved to tease and harrass each other any chance they got. One day, the British guy said to the others "you Americans aren't REAL men because you're missing a vital part of your manhood!" At first, the others had no idea what he was talking about but then one of them piped up with something like "oh, I'm a real man . . . my (insert juvenile comment implying that he was intact)." Then the two intact guys ganged up on the other guys about not being "real men." The only defense the circ'd guys could come up with was "shut up man . . . we can't help it!" Yes, it was awful and shallow and they tried to laugh it off, but what else could they say?

[2xy]

Originally Posted by inchwormz

Well, I'm afraid it's not nearly as uncommon as you think. I have two sisters are they are both freaked out over it (shallow is the tip of the iceberg). I don't think being with someone intact would actually stop them from sleeping with them, but they have both very openly stated they don't like it and prefer a circ't partner.

I also have more than one girlfriend that has stated the same - they don't like it. I'm not sure how I ended up with such shallow friends (opposites attract?!?) but there you have it.

Yeah, but.....if some extremely shallow chick dumps one of my sons over their circ status....

WHO CARES!?

They're better off without that kind of woman in their lives. For real! And I think they're both bright enough to see that.

[tennisdude23]

Originally Posted by 2xy

Yeah, but.....if some extremely shallow chick dumps one of my sons over their circ status....

WHO CARES!?

They're better off without that kind of woman in their lives. For real! And I think they're both bright enough to see that.

Ditto, really, this is not an issue. As someone else said, it has as much validity as the infection or locker room argument, a.k.a. not at all.