First time birth - homebirth

[Carson]

Hi - I searched and saw a lot of people planning their first homebirth, but not anything dedicated to their first birth being a homebirth. So I just wanted to open up one for chat or any experiences relating to first-time birth at home.

I know that I can be surprised by labor (good or bad) and I suppose that gives me a higher potential to transfer, but beyond that, I don't know if I have anything to be concerned about or anything I should know about.

[KikaKika]

Hi!

I am in the middle of my pregnancy, and even couple of years before being pregnant, I KNEW what kind of birth I want.

I'm due sometime in late September, and yes, this is my first baby.
I agree that one should be aware of all the possibilites, but I think that negative outcomes should not be main focus.

Having a great birth team really helps - a midwife that you trust, birth partner, doula - if you feel that you need that additional support, and for me - hypnosis for childbirth in the form of Hypnobabies.
It's sooo relaxing, and being relaxed and positive is my natural state.

Would love to talk to you more - how exactly are you preparing yourself?

Take care!

[Carson]

Well, not as far along as you, but this is REALLY WHAT I WANT. Not 'caps-ing' at you, but just in general. Like you, I've pictured my birth at home for years, associate with people who are supportive of it. So I feel like mentally, I'm there.

Maybe it's weird, but I'm a cyclist, and I liken a lot of the thoughts of going through birth to participating in an event. The mental endurance is a huge part of it. So as I'm training still, I feel like I'm training for labor, and it's very motivating. The only issue is I don't know what I'll do when I'm too cumbersome to ride.

DH is fully supportive and on board and we have a good MW. I know that feeling 'off' can be for positioning reasons and I'm hoping to find a doula who is experienced with that. I'll probably do Bradley, maybe HB in a couple months.

[vegasgrl]

Hiya - I'm a first-timer for a baby and a HB. I found a midwife yesterday. I kind of feel like maybe we have it easier in a sense, because we don't have hospital experiences to compare our experience to. So, say, if this labor were harder than my last, I might be more inclined to want to transfer. But since this is my first experience with it, I may be more inclined to just go with the flow.

But who knows!

[Amber Lion]

We had a beautiful, amazing home water birth with our DD in October and it was our first child. There's no reason you're at a higher risk of transferring just because it's your first. Labor can be surprising in it's intensity, but if you're committed to a natural birth being at home can actually help that - there is no epidural waiting in the back of your mind. You also don't have any previous birth trauma to get through during this labor, like vegasgrl said. Surround yourself with positive representations of birth, home birth especially, a supportive birth team, and KNOW that you can do it and you'll be fine. A lot of it *is* mental willpower, but you'd need that willpower in the hospital too.

[Beauchamp]

Hi! Another first time mama, first time HB here!

I was a bit worried, too, at first. But reading a lot of birth stories has helped me feel more confident that my decision is a good one.

In the beginning, my MIL tried to talk me out of HB with a MW by saying I should have "this one" in the hospital and see how it goes, and then consider a HB for my second future child. I thought about this, and decided that I didn't want to use baby #1 as a dry-run for a second child that we haven't even conceived yet. I will only have this birth once. And if I have a good experience, I will feel so empowered.

I want to have a birth story like those in Ina May's books. I want to know that MY body can do this, too, not just women in books.

I'm 37 weeks, so there's no going back now!

I think it's great that there are more mamas choosing HB right away. It makes me sad for those who chose HB because of a bad first hospital experience. Just hearing so many traumatic hospital stories makes me want a HB even more for my first baby.

I am thankful that I didn't have to have the bad experience first. Yes, the decision to HB with a 1st baby is a little scary for me personally, but after being on these boards for a few months, I feel empowered and stronger thanks to the mamas who've BTDT.

[HappyMommy2]

My first birth was so unnatural - induction and c-section - that my HB seemed like my first birth! I had never gone into (or thru) real labor so I had absolutely no idea what to expect.

What helped me a ton was watching hb or waterbirth videos. There are some links on here, or search on utube, and my mw had some videos she let me borrow. BTW - that really helped my hubby too.

Also - the Bradley book I borrowed listed like 8 different ways labor can start, so that helped me feel better about knowing what to expect. I don't think that you have a "higher chance to transfer" just because you are a first timer (as you say in your post). Your body knows what to do!

Congratulations on the awesome choice you are making. What a fabulous gift you are giving your baby, not being drugged and ensuring a peaceful environment to join the world.

[Gena 22]

Love this thread! Would love to have read something like this before my birth. My twins were my first, and born at home. DH and I were totally determined to have our babies at home, and we assembled a great team.

The two things I had trouble with: being patient and trusting enough to let labor come on its own, and second, I think I called my MW and team too early. I took castor oil and my labor was a bit of a marathon, for various reasons. But it was an amazing experience.

So that would be my advice, get organized so that you don't have any unnecessary worries, and then when you're close to your EDD, talk to your MW and doula if you have one, about what signs mean labor is really starting and when to summon the cavalry!

Best wishes all you expectant mommas!

[MittensKittens]

I had a homebirth with my first. I only found the midwife at something like five months along, and had a good birth (not as great as my UC, but that is not what you're asking about ). It must have been a bit boring for the midwife - midwives generally appreciate it if you have something ready for them. I bought mine lots of juices, and made sure i had snacks for her, as well as for me!

[hollytheteacher]

Originally Posted by Beauchamp

Hi! Another first time mama, first time HB here!

I was a bit worried, too, at first. But reading a lot of birth stories has helped me feel more confident that my decision is a good one.

In the beginning, my MIL tried to talk me out of HB with a MW by saying I should have "this one" in the hospital and see how it goes, and then consider a HB for my second future child. I thought about this, and decided that I didn't want to use baby #1 as a dry-run for a second child that we haven't even conceived yet. I will only have this birth once. And if I have a good experience, I will feel so empowered.

I want to have a birth story like those in Ina May's books. I want to know that MY body can do this, too, not just women in books.

I'm 37 weeks, so there's no going back now!

I think it's great that there are more mamas choosing HB right away. It makes me sad for those who chose HB because of a bad first hospital experience. Just hearing so many traumatic hospital stories makes me want a HB even more for my first baby.

I am thankful that I didn't have to have the bad experience first. Yes, the decision to HB with a 1st baby is a little scary for me personally, but after being on these boards for a few months, I feel empowered and stronger thanks to the mamas who've BTDT.

Yep, the bolded part is totally me. I had a heck of a first birth (pretty tramatizing) and i REALLY REALLY want to have my next baby AT HOME!

[Watershippy]

I'm also planning a homebirth with my first baby. DP and I are super excited.

I've watched about every homebirth video on youtube and feel pretty good about it. It also helps that my parents are supporting my decision; my mom had an unmedicated hospitla birth with my twin brother and I, and she described labor and birth as "not so bad, you should do fine."

[GoldmanBaby09]

This is my first baby and first HB. My mom had myself and my 4 younger brothers all at home, so for me growing up, HBing was the norm, not the exception. I feel very lucky to have been exposed to HB as a child, as it made it a very natural choice for me to make as an adult having my first baby. I agree with the previous posters about not being more likely to transfer and not having any "birthing baggage" to weigh you down. I would suggest reading as much as you can on the subject of homebirthing. I've also ready a lot about active hospital labor management, which just helps reaffirm my choice in knowing that is the last thing I want, but also so I will know what is going on if I do have to transfer. I also think Hypnobabies or Hypnobirthing are great tools. The more relaxed and confident you feel, the easier your time will be. I genuinely believe so much of giving birth is mind over matter, and staying positive is the best way to lead your baby into the world. MDC is a great resource and it helps to have a community, as well. Good luck with your HB!

[LoveLife]

We had a HB with our first in October. It was amazing. I had a midwife, but my labor happened so quickly that she didn't make it there in time and DH caught the baby! But we were very prepared.

We'd taken Bradley classes, with all HB couples in our class. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding HB, waterbirth etc. I walked everyday to try and stay in shape, ate well, etc. It was the most empowering thing I've ever done.

Good luck to you on your HB journey.

[zoebird]

we had a HB with our first too. ours was a pleasurable, unassisted homebirth. it was awesome!

i wanted HB since my teens; it was one of the topics of our first date in fact. i told DH that i would homebirth any children that i had. he was on board. 5-6 years later, e learned about UC and were immediately convinced it was right, and then 5-6 yrs after that, we had the baby!

by birth story is linked in the sig.

[JorgieGirl]

I also had my first baby at home 14 months ago. It was never a concern regarding transferring.

If anything it's *best* to have your first baby at home. Since most first time mom's take longer, you wouldn't want to be on a clock at the hospital. You're more likely to be prodded and pushed into a cascade of interventions than if you take your time and go with the flow at home. It paves the way for future babies as well.

Good luck! You'll do great!

[cocoanib]

Hello!
Thanx for starting this topic. I've been wiondering the same thing.

I'm not even pregnant yet, but I am planning a HB.
Nothing else feels right to me. I actually can't imagine being in a hospital setting to bring my future baby into the world. I've been researching HB for about a year now and am ready to make it happen!

[femalephish]

Great thread!

I am getting close to my first birth, too! I knew that I wanted a homebirth right away. And once I decided for sure, I have been excited about my birth, not dreading it. I'm trying not to read too much, but I have watched birth videos and early in pregnancy read Ina May's books. Now I am just trying to relax and sometimes I visualize my labor/birth. My new mantra is "let go".

Good Luck and congratulations Mammas!

[Burnindinner]

I had my first at home in November. It was amazingly awesome. It was normal, textbook normal! I had a midwife, assistant, my mom, husband, and my 3 sisters. I loved being at home. I can't say I "loved" labor, but right now it doesn't feel like it was too bad.

I thought about being at a birth center for the first, but really, I like my house better, I didn't want to drive in a car, and I'm very comfortable here.

[littlebb]

I'm planning a HB and this is my first baby, too. Our decision was made pretty early on based on our experience with midwives at an OB practice and thinking about the kind of birth we want. I have no doubt that HB is the best decision for us. I feel far more anxiety and fear about a hospital birth while totally confident and at peace about a HB. Being in control of my body and not having to deal with strangers or unwanted medical interventions totally empowers me. I'm surrounded by women who have recently had their babies or are pregnant and ALL OF THEM dread labor and delivery. It's hard, because as much as I want them to see that there is a better way, it's not my place to push HB on them. I understand women are scared because it's not mainstream and in fact, most medical staff/experts/blowhards will instill fear into a woman over the safety of HB. It just feels so good to be excited and looking forward to our birth rather than being filled with anxiety and fear and dread over something so beautiful.

[battymama]

I had my first at home last may she is almost a year old! where has the time gone? It went great, i loved every second of it. I did hypnobabies and i would recomend that if you can get your hands on it, although i was a bad student i really found it useful. When i hit transition i got into a kind of i cant do this, i wanna transfer type mindset, but because i had read so much i knew exactly what that was and knew the baby would be here soon. And i also couldnt be bothered transfering, it seemed like too much work.

I am sure you will do great