First time birth - homebirth - Page 3

[Say]

I agree being at home is ideal for a first. My birth story is here. I would likely have ended up with a section at the hospital. A homebirth was always my first choice.

[IndianaMomToBe]

I am another first time "home birthing" mama here. I put home birth in quotations because technically I am not birthing in my own home. I am birthing in my midwife's cabin at The Farm.

As of today I am 37 weeks 6 days and am not worried about the home birthing part of it. I am having anxiety about all this not knowing how quickly labor can progress.

I wont be at my midwife's cabin until this weekend and she lives 4 hours away so I am struggling with not knowing how dilated I am.

I am having tightening, achy feeling contractions and have noticed some mucus plug like discharge. I am also having some crazy pressure in the anus and vagina but my water hasn't broken so I really have no idea what is going on. I hate not knowing.

[ithappened]

I just wanted to add to this thread!

I am a first time new mom and this is my first pregnancy (obviously) and I choose a homebirth.

I really believe I can do this, I feel much more relaxed and peaceful at home then at a hospital (which was really the deciding factor for me) and I want to be in a setting that I feel love in, not a setting where I feel chaos or fear (which for me is a hospital).

If for some reason I would need to be transfered we are close enough to the hospital they wouldn't even really have the OR ready for me yet when I got there if I (hate to say this) needed a c-section.

I am really happy to hear there are others out there who are having their first at home and have had success already!

[DariusMom]

My first (and only) birth was a homebirth.

I live in Holland, where this is completely the norm. It was a fantastic experience and I wouldn't have it any other way if it weren't necessary.

[RubyOrganique]

I had my first baby at home and will do so with future babies. My recommendation to others is to think honestly and reflect deeply on what you have needed to endure the most stressful situations you've been through in your life. That doesn't mean that I think all births are traumatizing, but I do think they are stressful in that you are experiencing quite possibly the most intense event of your life. Be honest with yourself and decide where/how you are most comfortable, feel safest and can relax the most deeply. Even with a really wonderful, transformative home birth experience, I can recognize that it is not for everyone. It is truly personal for you and potentially, you and your partner.

For me, it was very different than I had imagined but much more than I could have dreamed of. While it took an unbelievable amount of effort and strength, I turned to my husband an hour after she was born and said, I'd do it again right now. (My midwife and doula on the other hand may have protested such a quick repeat performance, however!)

Best wishes to you for a thoughtful and meaningful birth experience.

[phatchristy]

I don't think I posted to this thread, all of my babies have been born at home!

I started researching birth/pregnancy before TTC my first and it became clear that homebirth had the best outcomes for healthy moms and babies! So, it was a no brainer for me. Other people in my family were a little bit questioning--however thankfully they all KNOW me, what a nerd I am and how well researched I am.

That helped somewhat, but honestly I'd always do whatever I wanted anyhow.

With my first, it was definitely a longer, more drawn out labor. And, for sure the only labor I was really tired out at the end. And, that was with getting a lot of rest at the beginning. I did what I could to rest, took a bath, tried taking a nap, etc. in the beginning.

Thankfully though everything went rather smoothly. Once I was in active labor things actually went really quickly (early labor took long!), maybe from 6 pm to 1:30 AM. Which isn't bad for a first timer. And, then about 30 minutes of pushing. It was definitely the most 'work' for the first time, but oh so worth it.

And, I remember the stunning feeling of empowerment, accomplishment, etc. I definitely feel that this experience has added such a new depth and perspective to my life.

And, I've had another three at home, including an accidental UC! Each birth has a new surprise for me, my second birth was super quick, my third birth was a waterbirth with a baby born in the caul and nuchal cord x2, my fourth was an accidental uc born with DH catching him in a towel in the bathroom and my quickest!

You definitely don't need to go through the trauma of having a horrible hospital birth first. And, if hospitals around you are like where we are (40% cesarean ick) it makes sense to do what you can to avoid that first cesarean if you plan on more children!

[AmieV]

I had a birth center birth for my first and I think the thing that inspired the most confidence in me is that my pregnancy was so healthy and things had gone so well that I had a lot of trust in myself and my body by the end of pregnancy. I also read lots of positive birth stories in Ina May and I think that helps counteract all the mainstream garbage we hear.

There was also a great article a few months back in mothering about how to keep your homebirth at home and I thought it really covered all the bases. I mean, you can't ever guarantee that you won't have to transfer but that article hit the high points as far as things to look out for.

oh, I was going to say. I did have a very long prodromal phase with my first and since I didn't really know what I was doing I was "hoping for 6cm" on my first trip to the birth center and got sent home at a 3. Prodromal/long early labor is pretty classic first time mom stuff so definitely, definitely, definitely try to rest and relax as long as you possibly can in the beginning. But, you totally probably won't because you'll be so excited! It's advice no one ever takes as a first time mom but I can hardly blame them, it is exciting! I also was discouraged because my m/w kept telling me "this could go on all weekend" when I really didn't think it would (I ended up being right, baby was born 5 hours after she told me that!) and if it hadn't been my first time I would have been more confident in my intuition.

[IndianaMomToBe]

I had the baby and had a great birth experience at The Farm! If you are interested in reading about how it all went check out my blog!! We are on cloud 9.

[smeep]

I think the biggest key is surrounding yourself with those who view homebirth as the norm and working on your psyche to view it as such. With many things, particularly for those of us who have grown up in the U.S., we may logically "know" that X should be the norm and is optimal, and Z is not but even so we are still on some levels "conditioned" to feel and think otherwise.

I was lucky and grew up in a homebirthing, breastfeeding family. I grew up knowing hospitals were for babies and/or mommies who were sick (same for formula - and my sister was bottlefed due to extremely poor latch and weak suck, yet I have only memories of her being breastfed!). It worked so well that I remember, probably around the age of 5 or 6, seeing an episode of Sesame Street about a girl whose mom gave birth to her baby brother(?) in a hospital, then hearing about my friends at school being born in hospitals, and asked my parents why so many people were sick! Once they explained it's not how it ideally should be I was no longer confused but still viewed homebirth as normal. I ended up birthing in a freestanding birth center (as did my older sister) because the state of my parents beat up old house in dire need of rennovations but it was essentially the same to me. There was never a question about birthing out of a hospital and I hope any future babies can be born at home (loved the birth center but the ride there in labour and home after a tear SUCKED!!!).

Good luck and congrats! I know many homebirthing mamas come about it the hard way, after a less-than-ideal hospital birth. I'm more educated now but I still come across stories, procedures, "rules," etc. about hospital birth that shock me (call me naive, hah).

[smeep]

Originally Posted by IndianaMomToBe

I am another first time "home birthing" mama here. I put home birth in quotations because technically I am not birthing in my own home. I am birthing in my midwife's cabin at The Farm.

As of today I am 37 weeks 6 days and am not worried about the home birthing part of it. I am having anxiety about all this not knowing how quickly labor can progress.

I wont be at my midwife's cabin until this weekend and she lives 4 hours away so I am struggling with not knowing how dilated I am.

I am having tightening, achy feeling contractions and have noticed some mucus plug like discharge. I am also having some crazy pressure in the anus and vagina but my water hasn't broken so I really have no idea what is going on. I hate not knowing.

I suppose I'm lucky in the sense that I never had any "control" issues. I'm a research nut and am big on knowing everything but when it came down to it, I was more than happy to just let things go as they went. Never cared to know how much I was dialated, was surprised when he came at 41w4d (the women in my family birth at 41-43 weeks, so I was all, "Wait! I still have 3 days!" Haha, guess I depended on 42 as an average a little more than I thought). When I was in early labour (which we thought, but weren't sure) I wasn't concerned or worried or anxious at all. And as soon as my water broke and active labour set in I could care less. My midwife checked me once when I got to the center and we never looked back. I was happy to let my baby, body and instincts take over. That gave me all the knowledge I needed.

Geez, I'm in a rambly mood tonight...haha.

[LianneM]

My first (and second) births were homebirths. My first labor was 21 hours with 2.5 hours pushing, and I'm positive I'd have had a c-section for FTP had I been in the hospital. I am so grateful to have had the knowledge and resources to birth at home from the start.

[lalemma]

This is my first, and we're planning a homebirth.

My parents are hippies (although, sorry to disappoint, I am all about vaccinations, ) and I and my siblings were born at home, as were many other kids I knew. I always assumed I'd have my own babies at home. It wasn't until I got pregnant and we realized just how much a homebirth in our area was going to cost and how much insurance was not going to cover that I (briefly) thought about the option of a hospital birth... which would be pretty much entirely covered by insurance. Sigh.

I am going to say something sort of unpopular here: I think the left-of-center parenting world there's sometimes an assumption that homebirth and natural birth is "better", not just in an outcomes way but in a moral sense.

But honestly, I am filled with awe for women who are able to have a decent birth in a hospital setting. I have seen women give birth at home, and I can completely grasp how an informed, healthy, relatively calm woman in her own environment can have a good birth. But it just blows my mind that ladies are able to have good birth experiences in most American hospitals, where you have to struggle against having an IV line put in, continuous fetal monitoring, laboring on your back, people you don't know coming in and looking at your vagina... that is my absolute nightmare, and I am genuinely amazed by the courage and toughness of women who are able to have a pretty good birth under those circumstances.

It kind of makes me laugh when people say things to me about how homebirth seems scarier than the hospital. I honestly believe that having a homebirth is by far the easier of the two options. If anything, I'm taking the path of least resistance.

[Eresh]

I had my first, and only, at home 17 months ago. Things overall went really well though it was about 23 hours from when I couldn't fall asleep between contraction to when DS was born. I kind of wish I'd not stressed so much about all the information about birth for the last few weeks and just read Ina May Gaskin's books (the birth stories in them) instead. I think a big thing is not getting all wound up and excited early on. Sleep as long as you can and then follow your normal routine until you can't. I didn't do that so well. I was really surprised how much my legs hurt with each contraction early on. Since that wasn't anything I'd ever heard of before I had a hard time letting myself relax.

Oh, as for transfer rates, the CNMs I hired had a much higher transfer rate for primips, which I don't think is unusual. Most of their primip transfers weren't for medical problems so much as getting tired out from long labors. So take care of yourself! Eat, drink, rest!

[bobandjess99]

My first birth was a honebirth, UC. so was my second.

[claddaghmom]

I feel like I focused too much on the scary rare stuff and not enough on the 'normal' stuff.

We tried for an u/c first-time, first child. It ended up as a mw assisted hb. The problem? She was asynclitic and it stalled labour.

All that study on placenta previa, abruption, hemorrhage, NR, breech, etc etc and not once did I think to research how to feel a little head all the way up there and know if the head is straight or crooked, if the baby is having trouble moving or just taking his/her time.

The other thing that I consider a mistake: I watched all those beautiful births on youtube...where the baby seemed to plop out of the mama right into the water. I had this naive idea that if I just huffed and puffed and looked carnal, my baby would appear. HA! After over 5hrs of pushing with every fiber of my being, the MW helped pull DD out. It took a long time to figure out what pushing felt like, what was productive, etc.

But I think a 1st time hb is not something to shy away from. In a way, every birth is different and a 'first.'

[Carson]

BUMP.

I was so concerned about this, but I'm happy to report that I had a very successful first-birth homebirth and the experience was simply amazing. I have come to the conclusion that you need to go with the process and accept all that comes with it. I really think labor is a huge mental thing.

It wasn't 'easy' even though it was short. I definitely was in pain, and complained about that a lot. It took me a few months to process the aftermath physically and mentally. But I look at the risks of being in a hospital setting (IMO) and wouldn't choose that for just fear of the unknown or a bunch of naughty naysayers.

[horsecrazy100]

I am planning to have our first baby at home. I am due in less than two weeks and we are planning a waterbirth.

I personally think that it's much easier to relax at home than in a hospital and prefer to be where I'll be comfortable.

[flitters]

We did a homebirth with our first, and are about a month away from doing another homebirth with our second.

I firmly believe that if you want a homebirth and low risk, never having given birth previously is not a reason to choose otherwise.

I do recommend, if possible, hiring a doula, or someone who could help you assess when it really is time to ask the midwife to come and to support you and your partner. Having the doula allowed dh to catch a couple breaks during my very long labor (I don't think he rested much - maybe not at all - but he did use that time to do things like heat up more water and get some extra pillows, etc.)