Educating our children

[BlessedMommy2006]

How do you educate your children in age appropriate ways about the benefits of intactness and harms of circ?

Especially your daughters--I mean, I don't imagine that in most homes, male genitalia are discussed all the time, so how do you broach the subject? Do you have it as part of their "birds and bees" talk when they are approaching puberty?

My kids are quite young so I have quite a number of years to think about this. But I'm hoping that BEFORE they get married, they will make sure that they are marrying an intact friendly (or at the very least, someone who is willing to leave their children intact, even if they're not gung ho about intactivism) person so that my grandchildren will stay intact.

Maybe those with older children can chime in? What info did you share at what age?

As your children got older, what were their thoughts on it?

[Night_Nurse]

I'm guessing all the anti-circumcision books in the office will spark their interest. If not, I'll talk to them in detail when they are older (they are only in grade school at this time). They both have been told gently that some babies have surgery when they are born but not all babies do (I went into a tad more detail during the discussion but don't feel comfortable saying here what all it was - it was still pretty basic as I didn't want to traumatize them).

[tlh]

I would start by telling them that some girls and boys have a surgery that removes part of the penis or vagina and that it is harmful and not necessary and the parents that do it don't know any better.I would tell them that you investigated and found what harm it causes and would never do that to a child of yours.As they get older tell them the functions of the various parts of genitalia and which ones are removed during circumcision and why it is harmful.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

So far it hasnt come up my dd is 8 and ds is 4. I assume some day one of them will notice my anti circ bumper stickers or hear me going off on a rant about it and ask me what is up.

If it dosnt then I am not sure how it will come up though I will make sure it does eventually. Something that important has to be talked about.

[TiredX2]

We've talked about it (my kids are 7 & 10).

Once I remember was when we were visiting a new baby in the hospital and he was gone getting his circ (I talked about it with them later in the car). They already knew about the facts of circ because of earlier experience.

Another time was when DS was peeing into the same toilet at the same time as his cousin They actually did noticed that they looked different and I told them why. DS really didn't understand why his aunt and uncle would do that (This cousin is actually not my sisters biological child, but she ended up circing her biological son as well).

Anyway, my children have been fairly accepting that some people do circumcise, but that our family does not. We don't believe in it, but we can't stop everyone, kwim.

[Alyantavid]

My oldest son is 7 and we talked about it last year. He was horrified that babies would have any surgery, much less that type of surgery.

I did not share all my views on it, just gave him the basics. I'm quite sure he'll figure out how dh and I feel soon enough.

[robertandenith]

I have talked to my 6 yo about it, she is a bit shy to talk about genitals at all so I just briefly told her about how wrong it is but we changed the subject. I am hoping to find a kid-friendly book of the human anatomy with intact people in it. Probably next year I'll do it since my youngest daughter will be 5 years old.

I think it is VERY important to me to educate my children specially my daughters, so they will learn how important is to have intact genitals both genders that is.

[littlemizflava]

first off i am weird:

my dd has known what a circ is since 4 she is 7 now. she has seen the video's, we have talked about that it is not right and it is crule to cause a baby pain for no reason. she knows how to care for a forskin on a baby (no retracting and wipe only) and never ever to retract it will happen on its own no one should retract but him.

I am a very outspoken person on it is wrong and it does come up that it is wrong all the time. we talk about girl circ also and how girls are protected and not boy.

future talks are that sex is beter with a intact man. actually everything sexual is beter. we will talk about

[Nandi]

I don't have any kids but if I did I would start talking about it very young, probably age 5. As it is I talk to my brother who is 16. I also have been talking to each and every one of my friends and giving them pamphlets.

[kriket]

Originally Posted by littlemizflava

future talks are that sex is beter with a intact man. actually everything sexual is better. we will talk about

laughup
this tickles me! should i have a talk with ds about how he will have better sex? it would do wonders for his self esteem.

i would stick to matter-of-fact like if the situation comes up. like pp who said they were around when a friends baby was having it done.

sorry for typos nak-ing my sexually superior 4 week old

[mi.birthdoula]

My 4yo dd is very well aware of alot of things to do with the female and male anatomy, as well as caring for a baby. She gets alot of this info on her own from looking at all my books. DH and I are also not shy about our bodies, and we both walk around the house nude, because we want our DC to be proud of their bodies and not be so absorbed by the whole idea of trying to have the "perfect body." She also sits with me on the computer and has watched videos of circ's and was very inquisitive about why they do that. When I told her why, and about how it was wrong, she insisted that she go with me to my next appointment and she told my OB that SHE wouldn't let him do it to her "little Rohnin Turner" (her soon to be little bro.) My OB was amazed at how adament she was that he listen to her, he is a great man, and fortunetly he doesn't believe in circ either.

I've just let the kids explore medical things on their own, and they know to come to mom if they have any questions. Right now she is very interested in the circulatory system and the heart because great grandpa had heart surgery. Maybe she will grow up to be a doc someday, and influence others to leave their kids intact!

I've never brought up the topics, I just let them explore and then come with their questions.

[knucklehead]

Originally Posted by mi.birthdoula

My 4yo dd is very well aware of alot of things to do with the female and male anatomy, as well as caring for a baby. She gets alot of this info on her own from looking at all my books. DH and I are also not shy about our bodies, and we both walk around the house nude, because we want our DC to be proud of their bodies and not be so absorbed by the whole idea of trying to have the "perfect body." She also sits with me on the computer and has watched videos of circ's and was very inquisitive about why they do that. When I told her why, and about how it was wrong, she insisted that she go with me to my next appointment and she told my OB that SHE wouldn't let him do it to her "little Rohnin Turner" (her soon to be little bro.) My OB was amazed at how adament she was that he listen to her, he is a great man, and fortunetly he doesn't believe in circ either.

I've just let the kids explore medical things on their own, and they know to come to mom if they have any questions. Right now she is very interested in the circulatory system and the heart because great grandpa had heart surgery. Maybe she will grow up to be a doc someday, and influence others to leave their kids intact!

I've never brought up the topics, I just let them explore and then come with their questions.

I love this!!! This is how I want my DD to be.

[mi.birthdoula]

Originally Posted by knucklehead

I love this!!! This is how I want my DD to be.

oh, thats not even the half of it. we've been in public before and she has openly praised a nursing mother telling her, "did you know your baby is getting the best kind of milk because you are feeding it momma milk?" I think it made the mothers day. On the other hand, she has told my aunt who was feeding her 3 mo old dd a bottle of formula which she prepared in front of dd that, "your not supposed to feed that to babies. You should feed it momma milk so it will be smart. My mom has some books you can read to help you learn how." :The things that come out of her mouth are priceless, yet could get me some bad looks if I don't watch it. I guess she's just going to grow up being a very opinionated and outspoken woman and an attached parent!

[knucklehead]

Originally Posted by mi.birthdoula

oh, thats not even the half of it. we've been in public before and she has openly praised a nursing mother telling her, "did you know your baby is getting the best kind of milk because you are feeding it momma milk?" I think it made the mothers day. On the other hand, she has told my aunt who was feeding her 3 mo old dd a bottle of formula which she prepared in front of dd that, "your not supposed to feed that to babies. You should feed it momma milk so it will be smart. My mom has some books you can read to help you learn how." :The things that come out of her mouth are priceless, yet could get me some bad looks if I don't watch it. I guess she's just going to grow up being a very opinionated and outspoken woman and an attached parent!

Love it!!

[hakeber]

I haven't really had to and doubt I will. We live in a country where that sort of thing is almost unheard of unless you happen to be muslim or jewish.

His dad and most of his classmates will be intact. If it comes up I will explain to Benjamin that there are some people who do it for religious reasons. That while we know it is important to be open and accepting of different world religions when these religious beliefs infringe on the rights of individuals' (especially children's) bodies and civil liberties we should also draw the line and stand up for those who cannot defend themselves.

The United Nations Declaration of Human Rights is quite contradictory in this respect actually.

Article 1, 2, 3, and 5 contradict articles 18 and 26 when it comes to religious freedoms and parental freedoms versus individual freedoms. In regards to misogyny and child abuse it is a pretty fine wire to balance upon, but one we feel is worth touching upon.

Both DH and I do a lot of work with these issues in our teaching, so no doubt it will come up in our talks with our kids, too. I have a few students at the highschool I teach in from Western and northern Africa who have personal experience with female circumcision and a good number of students from semetic backgrounds who also come from countries where circ'ing is a matter of course. We talk a lot about it and how it contradicts the mission of the school, the UN, and the concepts of civil liberties.

DS will likely grow up around this sort of discourse and hopefully he will absorb it.

[Rhiannon77]

My 4 year old daughter already knows that some penises are cut and some are not. She takes a bath with her little brother, she's aware that girls have vaginas and boys have penises. My mom nannies for 2 Jewish boys and they sometimes have sleepovers. At which point, she has bathed with them. They apparently explained to her about a bris. I elaborated on that in terms of religion that Jewish boys have a bris and their penis is cut, her brother's is not. I told her that penises don't need to be cut, but sometimes parents do it and it hurts, so we didn't cut her brother's penis. That's about all she needs to know at this point. I expect she'll grow up thinking it's normal not to cut and may have questions later on.

[Dani&B]

I'm very opinionated on ceetain topics such as circ'ing and BFing. More than likely, my DS will grow up hearing the subjects being spoken about. I work in the medical field and he'll definitely be informed about human anatomy at a fairly young age. I plan on incorporating the circ talk with male anatomy talks, during the "birds and bees" speech, when they're contemplating marriage, and then again when they're ready for kids. Hopefully by that time, circ in the US will be almost completely unheard of. Crossing my fingers now.

[fruitful womb]

My dd when she was 3 went up to a neighbor and dramatically said, "Bad Doctors Cut on baby boy's penises! I will NOT let them do that to my babies!"


Ds1 dropped 2 videos and book on intact care and circumcision info into a basket that a mother expecting a boy in June was carrying. He said, "Here you forgot these!" She really was going to walk out of the room with the materials left on the counter. He was quick to give it to her before she left.

Ds2 was at a doctor's office and asked a nurse, "Do doctors really cut foreskins off?" The nurse laughed and said, "I've never been asked that question before!"

I have a bumper sticker that reads, "Bring home your WHOLE baby. Say NO to circumcision" and "The foreskin is not a birth defect stopinfantcircumcision.org" The kids have read that.

They have heard it from the time they could understand and speak English. Since ds1 was two (when I started to really learn this info). They've said they're never letting that happen to their sons. They KNOW how WRONG it is. Its not something that will ever 'let up' in our family. They will carry this knowledge till they fly off the nest. We've talked about how important it is to share and teach this knowledge with THEIR kids, and teach their kids to teach THEIR kids, and so on and so forth. I will strongly expressed how important it is to share this knowledge with their future spouse. I've had this talk with ds1 already. Will with the others when their about 8 or 9 yrs old.

[tutucrazy]

I'm excited to have these discussions with my kids and help them grow up in an environment that fosters genital integrity. My son is still very young, but I have enjoyed reading everyone's responses!

[hakunangovi]

I do not remember when I brought up the subject of circumcision with DD, but likely late teens, and we have talked about it several times since then. What surprised me a bit was that she was well aware of FGM and considered that absolutely horrific, but had not really made the connection with RIC. However she knows enough that I am confident that any male grandchildren will remain intact. She is now in medical school, and I would hope speaking out against circ as the opportunities present themselves, but I have not asked!!