Let's talk about birth options ... - Page 3

[boigrrrlwonder]

I really want to have a UC, but we're gonna have an assisted pregnancy. My husband gets his insurance through a trade union - the network we use covers homebirth midwives, but in the insurance policy it talks about what it covers for hospital birth but not homebirth. So we need to get in touch with the union people and ask. Ideally, I'd like to have a relationship with a homebirth midwife so that if I wanted medical advice during the birth, I could call her up and she'd come over - but otherwise not call. I just think that having a midwife to call could prevent an unnecessary transfer to a hospital. Also, it'd make the paperwork and any possible CPS situation so much easier.

But, I'm torn. The homebirth situation where I live isn't great. A lot of you sound like you have it worse, but I do think that if I told my midwife that I was planning a UC, it would put her in a shitty position. But I really wonder about the ethics of not telling her as well (since I'm sure that if I didn't call the midwife it would affect how much she could bill for and therefore hurt her financially - something I'd hate to do). So, I'm not sure. I'm only about 4 weeks pregnant. A lot of things I'm more worried about than that at this point.

[DeepGreen29]

I would really love a homebirth....My mom had her last two kids UC at home, and I got to be there

Financially hospital birth makes the most sense for us...but I had the most optimal natural hospital birth with my son, no interventions, no pressure, no drugs etc... but it was everything that happened AFTER the birth that was horrible and imposing.

They freaked out over possible meconium and really scared me, gave my newborn an iv that ended up exploding in his tiny arm and then decided that the half dose of antibiotics they gave him was fine. They took blood from him for so many tests, kept him from me for 12 hours....etc. It was a nightmare. Perfect birth, but awful hospital experience.

[circuitsndaisies]

We are planning a homebirth

I have had three hospital births. One was a c/s, two were VBAC's, but I am definitely not interested in having another hospital VBAC. I hated the way they treated me like a ticking time bomb, forced CFM, IV's, etc. I want to be able to move around in my own, peaceful space. It was like I was asking to crawl down the hall naked, simply "asking" if I could take a shower at the hospital. I don't want to have to ask anyone what I can do.

I anticipate a fairly quick arrival this time. I am so happy and at peace with the decision to homebirth.

[robin1377]

We're planning a homebirth here too, as long as we can find a way to afford it. I had a wonderful homebirth experience with my DD. That was in CA where the laws are much more liberal regarding birth options than they are here in IL. I'm having a really difficult time finding a midwife that can/will accept my insurance (state issued). I know my plan won't cover the (home) birth part of it but if I could get the prenatal exams covered it would help out a lot. I'm talking with a woman tomorrow to go over some options and keeping my fingers crossed that something will work out. The thought of going to a hospital terrifies me. I just get so nervous any time I'm in one.

[JamesMama]

I would LOVE a UC but DH said no way in heck...and I don't want to do it with no support, ya know? DD was born with the cord wrapped tightly around her neck so DH is a bit 'gun shy' so to speak.

So we'll stick with the same hospital/clinic with the midwife that was there when DD was born. I love her, she's wonderful.

[rmzbm]

I am having a section. 6th and last!

[zenmama108]

I birthed my daughter at Sacred Waters Birth Center with 3 wonderful midwives helping to lead me through my 36 hour labour. I did end up having to go to the hospital for stitches, because I ended up with 3rd degree tearing. The doctor wanted to keep me at the hospital for observation, but my main midwife signed me out, drove me back to the birth center, and brought a great vegan breakfast!

I will be birthing this LO at a hospital, because this is a high-risk pregnancy with concerns about my well being as well as the health of the baby. I am writing up a birth plan, and hope to have as few interventions as possible (no internal fetal moniter, no eyedrops or shots after birth, ect)

[marinak1977]

We're going to a birthing center with a group of very nice midwives, hoping for a waterbirth but just in case a hospital is only a few blocks away. I do not mind hospitals but I don't want to be pressured into interventions.
This is my first child so I am not sure how things will go, so it will be good to have options.

[Mimi37]

We are planning for a birth with midwives at a freestanding birth center. That's what we did for #1, and it was a fantastic experience all around.

[brighteyed]

I'm in MO too. We met with the only St.Louis Midwife left and with Dr. Mormol for interviews since we were moving but not sure to where at the beginning of pregnancy. Now that we have moved and out where transfer to a hospital isn't very close, we decided to use Dr. Mormol and deliver at MOBAP. From what I have heard MoBap is great about natural birth for the most part and Dr. Mormol seems fine with everything natural and said if our nurse isn't, just switch- no problem.

[princesstutu]

I'm going UC, again. I was going to see a doctor this time (last time, I was completely UP), but the clinic is really trying my nerves about sitting through 'pregnancy class' (which is really for us to do paperwork instead of the actual employees...I sat thru half before walking out), so this may be another UP. Now that I no longer get sick to my stomach all the time, I feel perfectly fine.

I just want to speak on the fears surrounding a potential UC: I see it like this...everything entails risk. You have to decide for yourself which risks are worth taking and which are not. You also have to be realistic about how risky certains risks are. (heh) I think the CPS risk isn't so much a risk as it is a fear (unless you have CPS involved in your life for other reasons already). UC is not illegal. Accidental UCs happen all the time and who's to know whether or not yours was accidental unless you tell everyone? The thing planning my last UC taught me was to shut my mouth. Stop telling your business and your business won't be told. It's really no ones business where and how you give birth, anyway.

I had a UP/UC. I've had friends who've had UCs. It's only a big deal if you make it one. Are there risks involved? Sure. This is life. Welcome to risk!

Look inside yourself and make a decision. Give yourself room to change your mind if/when you want. And, don't let fear hinder your ability to live the life you want.

If I'm obsessing, I'm obsessing about ocean birth. I sooooo want to birth in the ocean!

[AfricanQueen99]

Originally Posted by brighteyed

I'm in MO too. We met with the only St.Louis Midwife left and with Dr. Mormol for interviews since we were moving but not sure to where at the beginning of pregnancy. Now that we have moved and out where transfer to a hospital isn't very close, we decided to use Dr. Mormol and deliver at MOBAP. From what I have heard MoBap is great about natural birth for the most part and Dr. Mormol seems fine with everything natural and said if our nurse isn't, just switch- no problem.

I had my daughter at MoBap and it was a fantastic experience. They really do appreciate natural births there. Good luck!

[bekkie]

we're going to the hospital.. hopefully natural - but as this is my first time I have no idea what it will feel like, so there's always a chance I'll end up taking something for the pain. Many friends and aquaintences have had babies at the same hospital and had really great experiences, so I'm hoping to have the same (I'm most excited that baby doesn't have to go to the nursery.. (s)he will stay in the room with me and DH)

[Sharlla]

Nope, I know I want to have a UC. it's very important to me as I'm sure this is my last baby.

[Astraia]

I'm going UC.

I was thinking earlier, "oh, well, I'll just show up at hospital pushing... and maybe when it comes time to go to hospital I'll just tell DH he'll have to drag me there cuz I'm not going" (can't get a midwife)

Then I figured if I'm thinking that way, why not actually PLAN a UC? So that when (not if, when) I refuse to go to the hospital we can have some supplies and things ready for the birth.

Surprisingly DH is almost 100% on board (still some fears to get out of the way, for both of us) and we're on the road to birthing a baby on our own! :

[rlmueller]

Cruisin

on the homebirth forum also. Of note: some folks know the homebirth/birthcenter in Alexandria, VA. You do have to acknowledge that you will breastfeed as a stipulation for care (I'm sure valid exceptions are made). I'd seen that mentioned on this site before but was surprised to see that here. I'm cool with it though.

[S.Elise]

I'm so sorry your decision is that much harder because of MO's dumb laws.

I am planning a homebirth for #2. To be perfectly honest, though, if I could go somewhere where I could have the option of pain relief AND evidence-based care, I would take that option. My last baby was born in England at St. John and St. Elizabeth's Birth Unit (google it to see what hospital-based care could be like if the US medical establishment would wake up).

I had every single thing I wanted (low lights, privacy, no doctors, no interventions, allowed to labor for 2 full days without anyone harassing me or telling me what to do, birth pool, food at mealtimes, no hospital clothes, husband/baby stayed with me, etc) and the possibility of pain relief plus proximity to on-call docs if needed.

Since I am in New York now I know a hospital is not an option if I want evidence-based care and a fighting chance of doing this vaginally, so I am staying home. Just saying that a third way is possible if we make it happen here.

[JenChaffee]

We are planning on HB, but I am keeping parallel care with some CNMs who work out of one of the hospitals.

My closest friends and family are not okay with this, but thus far, they have not managed to scare me out of it. They claim that their fear is the twins being complicated, but I'm not sure if they would be any different if it were a singleton. The other fear, which I sympathize with and don't know how to allay, is that we are an hour and a half from the hospital in case we need to transfer.

At this point, I am trusting that my body will do what it needs to do, and if it needs emergency care, I am counting on it letting me know in time to make it to the hospital. (Yes, I can be crazy and optimistic now while I am healthy! I am reserving the right to change my mind as time goes by!)

[Usually Curious]

You know, I was concerned that our families would be concerned about our birth choices and that I would have to defend them, but I just spent a week and a half with my in-laws and they did not even ask once. No questions about prenatal visits or anything. Maybe at this point it's just 'old hat' and they don't care.

[scheelimama]

Usually Curious,

I have a good friend who lives in MO and she said the laws recently changed so that homebirth is now legal or maybe it was just birth center births? Have you heard that? She was very concerned about what they'd do when they when they were to have their next baby, but she told me a few months back that it's no longer a concern. I can ask her about it if you'd like me to.