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| Now I thought that "spanking" was hitting on the butt for punitive reasons, and "striking" or "hitting" could mean anywhere on the body for any reason at all. Seemed to me to be a more descriptive term that gave a better picture of the action occurring. As far as cutesy- well people like Chris Rock in a comedy sketch or someone using it in sexual innuendo may try to make it sound cutesy, but to someone who grew up being spanked I didn't think it was a cutesy word- anymore than "time-out" is a cutesy word. Should we stop saying "time-out" and just say "isolation"? |
You "hit" the nail on the head- spanking IS hitting. The word spanking does suggest where a person is generally being hit, although I would add that some people consider a smack on the leg or arm to be spanking. No matter what though, spanking IS hitting just the same. Using the term isolation instead of time-out is an excellent idea, as it would be an accurate description of the action in its punitive capacity.
Why is it that our culture is so willing to tolerate treatment of children that we will not stand for among adults? If an adult "spanks" another adult on the bum, the spanker will likely be subject to a charge of harassment at least and possibly assault. But it's acceptable for an adult to do this to a smaller person who has no defense against it? It matters not whether a mark is left, spanking transgresses the physical boundaries of the person being spanked, against their will and without their permission. Punishment that places adults away from others is called solitary confinement and has been shown to be among the most psychologically damaging of punitive measures. But isolating our children is okay?
I've known people who thought it totally not okay to spank another person's child, but spanked their own. If a person is willing to get creative and find ways to discipline gently without spanking and punitive measures with someone else's child, why would they treat their own child with less love and respect?
I like what a pp pointed out- that once it was acceptable for a husband to hit his wife, and I would add it was also once acceptable for a husband to rape his wife. It was once acceptable for children to be worked to death in factories in this country. The reason it is no longer acceptable is because good people stood up and said no more. While there may not be black and white, there are times when it does none of us any good to couch bad behavior in terms that make it more palatable so that we don't feel compelled to do anything about it.
Yes, the world is all shades of gray and not black and white. But there are times when a stand must be taken and if we mothers do not stand up for our children, who will? Think of how our communities and our cultures could positively change if we all stood up and said no more will we stand by while our children are treated as less than full persons. Change happens one person at a time.
OP, you have an opportunity. Ask your husband if he feels it would be okay for another person, especially someone who was in a position of power over him, for instance his boss, to spank him when he did not perform according to the rules? If he says no, then why is he holding his children to a lesser standard?
Also, if he insists that he was spanked and is fine, you could show him this:
"I was spanked and I'm fine!"
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Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans  I have a grandson and there is no way my son would hit him. I have broken the chain of generations of violence toward children in my family.
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This is exactly what it's all about. Stopping the cycle. The above-poster's last sentence nearly brought me to tears. That is absolutely beautiful.
