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Were you BFed? How long? Does it affect the support system you have?

post #1 of 99
Thread Starter 
Just curious if your upbringing influenced your choice to BF...

I was EBF and self weaned at 14mo. My mom asked how long to BF and her doctor told her "She'll stop when she's ready." One day I just stopped asking for "nummies" before bed. She said it was really hard for her emotionally, but she was SO glad she chose to let me make that choice. So I have lots of support from her to BF until he's done.

DH's mom was different. She introduced food early (like, 3mo and he got cereal) and weaned all of the kids before a year. FIL has also been heard to say that "6 or 7mo is long enough" and last night MIL was SHOCKED when I said I was considering going for 2 years. (We're for sure on a year, after that it's up to the baby)


What about you?
post #2 of 99
My mom considered herself to be pretty "crunchy" till i had a baby She breast fed me till about 6 months and was a firm believer in the "if they're old enough to ask for it they're to old to nurse". Then I had my lo and told her that my plan was to nurse till at least one (which has now changed to two) and first she was shocked. But she did a bunch of research and called me to tell me that her research agreed that extended bfing is best so now she's super supportive.

My dh also wasn't originally supportive but has come around as well.
post #3 of 99
I was nursed only 6 weeks...my mom claims that I had colic unless she ate plain white rice and nothing else. Not sure when she introduced solids. I have always had a lot of health problems, but I don't catch bugs/viruses much does that make sense?).

DH was nursed 6 months, no idea about starting solids, and he has lots of asthma problems, joint issues, ear infections, etc. When I tell him bf babies are healthier, he says "what about me?" and I am always reminding him that he could have MORE problems if he wasn't nursed. He rarely catches bugs/viruses...much less than me.

I think vaccines, diet, and environmental factors do have a lot to do with it, too.
post #4 of 99
My mom nursed me for 8 months. Not really sure why she weaned...probably lack of support to go further. She is VERY supportive of me nursing ds for as long as we both want (he's 21 months and still going strong...loves his nuh-nuhs). In fact, I first thought I'd want to wean at 2, but now i just can't imagine it and hope he never weans! lol. Well, maybe by the time he's off for college hehe.

DH's fam, not as supportive per say, but also don't tend to make any negative comments (anymore, after a big blow out...involving many things not just bf'ing).

Oh and neither my fam or dh's fam are "crunchy". We (dh and i) are just both very liberal, and after becoming pregnant and researching more "natural" ways, we are hooked on the crunch. lol That's a fun quote "hooked on the crunch" ehehhe
post #5 of 99
My mom breast fed my older sister for a year and me for six months. She weaned me abruptly because of the medication she started taking for seizures she had (out of nowhere). She was both scared of the unexplained seizures and devastated by the loss of our nursing relationship. She still tears up if you ask her about it.

She has been supportive of my nursing DS for as long as he wants, but she thinks I should night wean him b/c I'm pregnant and tired. She doesn't push it or anything.

ETA: DH's mom nursed both her boys for a year. Public nursing makes her uncomfortable, I'm pretty sure, though she hasn't said anything. Other than that, she's very supportive.
post #6 of 99
I was adopted at birth and never BF...my parents have been great, though. My mom has said that she looked into doing whatever she would have to do to try to breastfeed, but that it wasn't really possible since they had no idea when they would be getting a baby. They asked the social workers about this, and were told that they were not set up to do advanced planning like that. I assume that my arrival was much like my younger brother's...visits from the social workers for months, then a call out of the blue to come to the office tomorrow to pick up the new kid. I was 8 weeks old.

It's sad in retrospect, really. I found my birthmother several years ago. She had understood a bit about the bonding between a newborn and its parents, and had asked the social workers on her end to ensure that I was connected with my adoptive parents as soon as possible after the birth. She said that she was assured during the last weeks of her pregnancy that my adoptive parents had already been matched to me and that they knew I was coming, yadda yadda. Had 'the system' been a bit more proactive, maybe things could have worked out in the way that both my birth mother and my adoptive parents had wanted. The bad old days of old school closed adoptions, I guess.

Anyway, my parents have been very supportive of breastfeeding. They aren't much help, per se, as they have no experience...and sometimes little things give them away, like my dad asking over and over again if I was sure that my 1 day old daughter didn't need a bottle of water now and then. But they're great, really, and I know it's saddened my mom to see my brother's wife going to formula so quickly with both of her children (minimal breastfeeding for a week or two). She hasn't said it out loud, but I think she doesn't understand why anyone would want to FF if they have the choice - that she didn't have.

Hubby was also not breastfed. His mom was told that she must drink milk in order to make milk, and she wasn't able to do that...and she was young and had some pressure from her friends to bottle feed so that she would not be 'tied to the baby'. Of course, she was also a single parent, working full time, and living a continent away from her family. No support or help at all, so its easy to understand her situation. His family has been great though, as breastfeeding is the norm in their country. I think they have been a bit surprised that we are still BF'ing at a year, but they're not at all judgemental or funny about it.

During my daughter's pregnancy, I heard a few bad stories. One mom wanted to BF her second child, but her family told her it was gross and beneath her. The grandmother was this mom's childcare, and told her that she would not touch a bottle of pumped milk if it was brought to her, that it was dirty. It breaks my heart a little to hear such things...and when I do, I'm grateful for my supportive family. They may not know much about it, but they're wonderful and open for supporting us in it anyway.
post #7 of 99
I was breastfed until I was over 2, I'm not exactly sure how old I was when I weaned... I kind of vaguely remember calling it "coffeemilk" and up until a short time ago, I thought that's just what I called nursing/breastmilk, but my mom recently confessed that she weaned me by putting a tiny bit of coffee on her nipples

Now, it sounds terrible and if I read something on here about someone doing that I would probably think "omg that's awful!!" but I actually think it's pretty funny, and I love how long my mom did bf me. Because she got so much hassle about it! Her mother was supportive but her MIL and pretty much everyone else said she was harming me etc by bf me that long...

When she was still in hospital after I was born, the midwives used to laugh at her for breastfeeding me (times change... I had dd in the same hospital and it's now very very pro breastfeeding).


Anyway, I don't have a trauma from being weaned or anything so it's all good although, I really don't like coffee wonder if that has something to do with it


She's supportive of me breastfeeding dd for a long time, though she's not as fanatic about it as me, somehow. But very supportive though


My MIL didn't bf any of her kids including DP, and she's been asking "are you still doing THAT" and "when are you going to give her a bottle [of formula]" and "you should give her water" etc. but I just ignore it.
post #8 of 99
I was breastfed for 6 months exclusive then was weaned directly to cow's milk and table food. The good old days! My sister was nursed for I believe over a year. I believe my other sister and brother were also nursed for around 6 months.

My mother tried to "wean" my baby by filling him up with pretty good sized bowls of mashed potatoes and oatmeal because she thought going beyond 6 months made no sense and that he should be on cow's milk and table food by 6 months DESPITE all pediatric nutritional advice to the contrary. I told her breastmilk or formula until 12 months on a loop, until she let up. I think she still believes that cow's milk is appropriate for 6 mo old :

It's funny how people can be so gung-ho pro-nursing, then when their personal "comfort" age is passed it's practically a travesty.
post #9 of 99
Thread Starter 
nak

Quote:
Originally Posted by missjessicajames View Post
My mom considered herself to be pretty "crunchy" till i had a baby She breast fed me till about 6 months and was a firm believer in the "if they're old enough to ask for it they're to old to nurse". Then I had my lo and told her that my plan was to nurse till at least one (which has now changed to two) and first she was shocked. But she did a bunch of research and called me to tell me that her research agreed that extended bfing is best so now she's super supportive.

My dh also wasn't originally supportive but has come around as well.
DH has said this...until recently! I said "what if it's by sign or a simple word? What if he talks early?" and it made him think


Quote:
Originally Posted by Leisha View Post
My MIL didn't bf any of her kids including DP, and she's been asking "are you still doing THAT" and "when are you going to give her a bottle [of formula]" and "you should give her water" etc. but I just ignore it.
AAHHHH the water comments! mil won't let up about this. Because we live in a hot climate and we have central air he MUST be thirsty and need water. in her defense, her mother started it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kappa View Post
My mother tried to "wean" my baby by filling him up with pretty good sized bowls of mashed potatoes and oatmeal because she thought going beyond 6 months made no sense and that he should be on cow's milk and table food by 6 months DESPITE all pediatric nutritional advice to the contrary. I told her breastmilk or formula until 12 months on a loop, until she let up. I think she still believes that cow's milk is appropriate for 6 mo old :
BIL1 was weaned because he figured out how to unhook the nursing bra...so he was too old...and got put on whole milk
post #10 of 99
My mom breastfed me for 14 months. My older brother and sister got formula only. Incidentally, I am much closer to my mom...she thinks that is part of it. I think she weaned me but we had just been nursing at night and in the morning for a bit before that.

DH's mom BF him 9 months (he self weaned). She BF his little brother for 4 years! I have plenty of support for breast feeding and even though I only produce about 50% of DD's needs, I plan to BF her as long as she wants...I'm sure both my moms will be supportive of this. I do plan on getting pregnant when DD is a year and a half or so and don't think I'll be able to tandem nurse bc of supply issues (I would want it all to go to the new baby)...so I guess 2.5 years is going to be DD's limit. We'll see if she even wants to go that long.

Cindy
post #11 of 99
I was breastfed and my mother tells me I "self" weaned around 10 months (sure). I know whe gave me cow's or other milk in a sippy cup as soon as I could hold it though & they certainly didn't hold back on the solids in those days so maybe I did seem to? It's interesting though that my grandmother breastfed all her children for exactly 9 months and then force-weaned them ('cause that's the limit you know) and the age my mother gave up is so close to her own mother's (and probably her only support knowing our family history) comfort zone.
post #12 of 99
If I put coffee on my nipples, I think Esther would be elated. But she is the child who steals my coffee at every opportunity...

I was not nursed. My mom says she tried, but I bit her. Which is to say, she had zero help and I seriously doubt she wanted to nurse. (Her sister breast-fed all her children but one, who was sensitive to something she ate & she thought he was allergic to her milk.)

Rob wasn't nursed either. He was born back when they gave the shot to stop milk from coming in. His mother claims she had no choice (he was born prematurely), but she's said and done other things that make me think she's basically trying to cover up not wanting to nurse.

(It's not so much that they didn't nurse as that neither of them is honest about it, KWIM?)

That said, my mother is very supportive. Always has been. She was supportive when they were babies, and she is supportive with the tandem nursing a 5 year old and a 3.5 year old. I could not ask for more, really.

My xMIL is another thing altogether. Rob ran interference when we were married. Now, not so much. : But that's OK. I gave up pretending I gave a rat's rear end what she thinks years ago. (Around the same time I gave up trying to care; I'm actually pretty honest.)
post #13 of 99
I latched on once or twice, then my parents switched to bottles so they could see how much I was getting (my younger siblings were formula fed from birth as well).

I was visiting my mother once when my oldest was tiny, enjoying a bath all by myself for once (hah!), and she brought him to me because he was fussing. I just stripped him down and brought him in the tub with me to nurse, and I swear my mom almost started to cry. She thinks it's the greatest thing and is a bit devastated that she missed out on it.

Edited to add: Oh, and my father was dubious when I was pregnant with my first and said we'd be breastfeeding. Then he spent five minutes with Google and called back to say "Yeah! You should do that!!!". :
post #14 of 99
My mom breastfed me and my two younger siblings for about 2-4 weeks and then switched us to formula. She says we didn't "suck right" (trying to find a good English word for the German word she uses). I get the feeling that she didn't get the support she needed to work through her difficulties with breastfeeding. She used to be a nurse, so you'd think that she could have found someone to help her. I don't know how supportive the German medical establishment was of breastfeeding during the 80's and early 90's, though.

I haven't brought up my desire to ebf with her yet, but I know she thinks it's weird when babies who have several teeth still nurse, because they could bite you
post #15 of 99
yes, my mom nursed me untill I self weaned I think the last time I nursed for comfort I was like 5.
post #16 of 99
Interesting thread...

My mother nursed me for 2 months and it seems like she is supportive of my nursing relationship with my dd....although, she used to make comments like..."I always gave you guys infamil too" until I set her straight...to her credit it was the 70's and "in fashion" to give formula...I think she feels guilty esp. since I have stuck with nursing and don't have plans to stop for at least another year, she will often tell me what a bad case of mastitis she had and that she had to stop..I don't think she had much support at all, she has also told me how she slipped into a depression from the feeling of loss when she stopped nursing me....it's sad. I think that's why she is so supportive of my decision to nurse my lo past a year...the only thing remotely negative she has said was..."just don't nurse her till she's 5 "
My dh's family is another story...his mother is older than mine...64 and she nursed brad until he was 2 months and was giving him cereal at 3 weeks and claims that's what got him to sttn from that point on....right. Anyway, she is not supportive at all...in fact she has asked me about 5x how long I plan to nurse and was SHOCKED when I said longer than a year. She also doesn't understand why I nurse her on demand...she has made comments like ...."well, does she just get to nurse whenever she wants to?" ummmmm if you are asking does my baby get to eat when she is hungry...yes
post #17 of 99
This is so interesting! My Mom nursed us for a few months, I think about 4, and then switched to bottles. She had a bad experience nursing with my oldest sister (untreated/undiagnosed reflux) and just didn't have the heart for it after that. Plus, in the 70's/80's there was a lot of hype about the "miracle" of formula. My MIL nursed all her kids "until she got pregnant again" according to her. (Her kids are 15 and 18 months apart...so not a full year with the first two, but a full year with her youngest.)

I know it influenced me. I only nursed dd for 7 months and I regret it every day. My Mom wasn't very supportive of my nursing, not disparaging or outright nasty about it, but very "try formula", "oh let me feed her, you rest", etc. Dd is almost a year now and we are expecting #2 in November...I am so excited for the opportunity to put my new knowledge into action and nurse our next lo for 1+ years (def. for 1 year and then CLW with some gentle limitations/boundary setting from mama). I hope to model this for my daughter (daughters?) so she'll love nursing her lo's someday.

As a side note: my dh was nursed longer than I was, and we're both fully vaxed, but we are also both super healthy and never get sick, no allergies, etc. So even the little nursing we got seems to have done something!
post #18 of 99
My mom nursed me for a little over a year. My DH's mom nursed her kids for 7-8 months. They're both extremely supportive of me BFing DD -- my MIL thrilled me by practically jumping for joy when I worked hard to avoid losing my supply during an illness. :
post #19 of 99
I wasn't breastfed at all since my mom decided she didn't want to nurse twins. I don't think it's impacted my support though. Although she couldn't offer me any advice on breastfeeding my Mom is 100% supportive of my parenting decisions even if she does think they're weird sometimes : My Dad is also supportive although he too thinks it's odd I intend to breastfeed past a year. He doesn't judge at all and says he thinks it's crazy that some people have a problem with women nursing in public.
DH's Mom is another matter, if I want to breastfeed at her house I have to go to a private room by myself : She didn't BF any of her 5 kids. I have 2 SILs with babies a month younger than mine and both bottlefeed and neither of them have to leave the room when their babies get hungry. But MIL is worried I'll traumatize her 6 year old.
post #20 of 99
I should add something. My mom is supportive of my BFing DD but when she was out at the beginning she kept getting me to supplement with formula bc she supplemented me the first month. I did end up having to supplement in the end but she really was pushing it on me before I was ready and she really upset me when I was already very emotional. DH ended up calling and yelling at her about the issue. So like a pp said, she was trying to push her own experience on me.

Cindy
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