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Were you BFed? How long? Does it affect the support system you have? - Page 2

post #21 of 99
I think my mom tried with me and the doctor told her she didn't have enough milk. I ended up on a homemade formula with goats milk. She didn't try at all with my brother because she had to go back to work and apparently the doctor that time wasn't pleased with her. She went on to bf my sister for one year. She is very supportive of me and doesn't say anything negative about the extended breastfeeding, mostly just curious questions sometimes.

My MIL otoh thinks babies should be off the boob and onto solids by 4-6 months. She bf'ed her older 4 but not my hubby because he was a lot younger than the other kids and she didn't want them to see her or something. I know she regrets it though and her dad was really not pleased with her about it. We don't bring up extended bf'ing with her.

My grandfather is really cool and has clipped out newspaper articles on bf'ing and sent them to me.
post #22 of 99
I was BF for about 2.5 years, and most of my sibs were BF close to that long as well. Mom was a LLL leader back in the late 70's/early 80's and was pretty crunchy. She fully supported me nursing my kids until at least 2, but once DS1 got over 2.5 she became a little less supportive - nothing blatant but subtle things. She also has a head full of really outdated info and is often surprised about things I've told her about BFing.

Unfortunately Mom has never wanted to "push her agenda" on her kids (her mom died before she had kids and her MIL was VERY overbearing and discouraging of Mom's parenting) and as a result she tends to really downplay breastfeeding. For example when DS1 was tongue-tied and I was having a lot of trouble nursing and he was not gaining weight well, she kept telling me that it was ok to give him formula. She didn't majorly push it, but I didn't want to jeopardize my bf relationship so instead of giving him formula I researched and fought to nurse him and eventually got his frenulum clipped. My sisters didn't have the same drive to bf that I did and do and so their kids weren't nursed very long at all.

Out of her 6 kids and 19 living grandchildren my kids and one nephew are the only ones who have nursed past a year (one sis made it to 10 months, the rest stopped well before 6 months.) All of her bio grandkids were at least BF'd a little bit though.

Don't even get me started on MIL. She never nursed, doesn't understand it at all, loves to pass on weird stories from other people as facts, and really disapproves of my nursing past about 3 months.
post #23 of 99
I was BF'ed for 10 months, until my mom got pregnant with my brother and her doctor told her she had to wean me. She said I went 2-3 days without eating because I was so upset and I wanted my Mama milk! :

She BF'ed the 3 oldest of us (i'm the oldest) for around a year, and only BF'ed my sister (the youngest) for about 6 weeks. She had a bad kidney infection from having a C-section and had to be hospitalized for awhile, and she had to stop BF'ing. She was devastated. My sister does get sick more than the 3 of us. It was the 80's and there wasn't any support for her, she didn't know anyone who had BF'ed, but she knew it was what was best (as she said, "it's common sense") and they didn't have money for formula.

My MIL was very crunchy for her time. She had 3 natural births and taught Lamaze classes. She BF'ed DH until he "self weaned" at 9 months. I am sure he was just distracted by his 2 older brothers to nurse, and she took it as self-weaning. He is a really laid back guy, so I could def see him not asking and not thinking about it really. But she did nurse DH's brothers until 20 months+!!

My mom and MIL&FIL are very supportive of extended BF'ing. My dad thinks it's weird, but knows I've done the research and is supportive.
post #24 of 99
My mom nursed each of us a little bit longer: my older sister about 6 weeks, me about 6 months, and my younger brother about 18 months! She has natural-minded tendencies in general so yes, that probably influenced my decision to breastfeed. I certainly read a lot and learned about it on my own as well. My parents have been very supportive of all my parenting decisions.

DH's mom never nursed and doesn't really understand, especially extended breastfeeding. FIL has made comments about my toddlers being "about done with that."

On the contrary, my oldest nursed just past 4 years. My second I encouraged weaning at 2.5 years because I got pregnant, didn't do well with tandem-nursing the first time around, and was struggling on her food-allergy diet. My son is still nursing strong at 2.5 and will have no younger siblings so he gets to go as long as he wants. (Er, well, I hope that's only another year or so. )
post #25 of 99
I was bf for 8 weeks, and have an awesome immune system-I rarely get sick (like 1x a year tops). My husband was bf (supplemented w/formula) until 9 or so months (also was given food starting at 4 WEEKS!) and has a terrible immune and digestive system.
My kid got sick one time, had bronchiolitis but it only lasted for around 4 days (and was never that bad-and the ped said it could last 2 weeks or more). My husband has been sick at least 3 times since the baby was born, and we've never caught it. I think I'm just lucky, and passing it on to my kid!
post #26 of 99
I was breastfed until just under 3 years and my dh was breastfed until he was 4! I feel incredibly lucky that we're able to pass along all the benefits of our extended breastfeeding to our son and that both my mom and my MIL are incredibly supportive.
post #27 of 99
I wasn't breastfed at all and neither was dh. "It just wasn't done in the 80s" said my mother. They gave her the shot to dry up her milk.

However, both my mother and my MIL are super supportive. When I was pumping for my ds1, who was premature, my mother would practically cheer every time I emerged from the pumping room. My MIL is more knowlegable so I don't get funny questions from her about anything like I do my mother.
post #28 of 99
I was not breastfed because it was not sexy to do so in the early 70s aparently. Mostly everyone i know who is my age were not nursed. Formula was pushed a lot. I think i would have been a lot brighter had i been breastfed. I am intelligent, but a little dim too, kwim? My mom smoked during pregnancy too, maybe that has something to do with it as well.

I nursed all of my children. My oldest, who is now 15, could only go a few weeks because the roof of her mouth is so very low, she had low muscle tone. i was only 21, she has down syndrome, and no one supported me doing it. So it did not last. I think if i had some support then, i could have gotten her to suckle well. I really regret only going a little while. My second, now 13, i went 8 months with, that was during a time when everyone was pushing me to stop at 6 months. My 3rd child, who is now a healthy 6 yr old, was nursed for 2 yrs. I knew a lot more and was far more cofident at that age. Now, i have a 14 month little boy, who i am considering letting self wean, is hungry little nurser and very attached to it. I have to say that all my children are bright, but it seems the youngest two are more so.

I hope this helps
post #29 of 99
My was/is pretty crunchy. I nursed until I was about one, she said I weaned. But now, she said looking back, it was probably a strike, but as a FTM with no support, she didn't know. My bro & sis nursed until at least 2. I don't remember how long they went past that. I remember my little sister always asking to "N".

My mom and dad would probably disowned me if I didn't BF! They have been great. They support co-sleeping and cd'ing. That's what they did with us, so it is pretty normal for my family. My MIL is pretty supportive too.
post #30 of 99
I was a bottlefed, formulafed baby. My Mother thought I was crazy when I decided to nurse my son. (HER Mother nursed all three of her babies.) But then everybody followed suit- my Aunt nursed her two children, the first born when my son was 10 months old, and my sister nursed her babies, the oldest born when my son was 5.
post #31 of 99
I was born around 9 weeks premature in 1975 and my mother says I was "too small to suck properly", and so was put on....condensed milk and water!!! No breastmilk or formula for me, just condensed milk!

I feel a bit sad for her, even though she has never said that SHE was sad. She talks about how she was so engorged and in pain (which may have made attachment harder maybe) that they were having her pump milk for all the other babies on the ward at the time who were having feeding issues. When I asked her why she didn't pump for ME and feed that to me in a bottle, she really didn't seem to know why not. At the time they didn't really have good \pumps outside of the hospital, so I suppose with little support and no pump she just gave up. Had "the shot" to dry up her milk.

When I breastfeed DD she always seems very keen to watch. She did the same when my sister (who is older, but was also fed on condensed milk ) breastfed her kids. Was always interested. She supports our breastfeeding (baby 8.5 months now), but my dad is now asking when I'll stop. He thinks it's crazy to keep going, but has never said anything directly to me about it. If he does, I"ll just ask him which makes more sense, giving her milk from me or milk from a cow, a totally foreign animal to her if given the option? I hope he could see the logic in that!
post #32 of 99
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post #33 of 99
I was BFed, my older sister was not. We have both nursed out babies for well over a year (well, DD2 is only 4.5 months old, but I plan to nurse for longer than a year).

My mother is very supportive, my ILs are NOT at all supportive. After DD1 was born, FIL said "She's had enough of *that* now." Baby was less than 24 hours old and she hadn't even gotten any BM yet, it was all colostrum. Anyway, their 3 kids were formula fed in large part because that was the "modern" and "American" thing to do (my ILs are immigrants).

FIL tried to encourage me not to BF, but MIL has never been anything but (at least outwardly) supportive. I know in the past, well before I had children, she called BFing "icky." But she gives DD her bottles of EBM when she cares for my girls 2 afternoons a week with no fuss. My ILs are much closer geographically than my family, so we see them a lot more. But their negative BFing thoughts didn't deter me in any way. And I WOH FT and pump, it hasn't been easy and all the encouragement I could get would have been awesome.
post #34 of 99
apparently i hated bfeeding. i would totally refuse the breast when i was two months old. my mom worked very hard trying to keep me to the breast. ultimately by 4 or 5 months i was bottle fed.

my brother bf till he was 7.

: my mom was the WORST support in bf my dd. because i come from asia. she was concerned about what people would say. rich people dont bf. and concern about me. oh you will get cancer. somehow it would affect me. considering she lost my brother i can understand her concern. i didnt even try to explain.

its just something i felt really strongly about. and i was going to do it no matter what.

mil tried gently asking me to wean when dd started daycare at 2 since she was having a hard time seperating due to bf. but let it go.

apart from my mom i dont think i have come across anyone not supporting or even supporting me. i was glad i went to LLL as it gave me the knowledge i needed.
post #35 of 99
My mom did not nurse my brother or I AT ALL. She thinks it is " so weird" that I'm nursing my son.

SHE is the "weird" one!!
post #36 of 99
My mom nursed me for 8 months. I wne t straight to cows milk. I weaned because she was pregnant. She didnt know she was pregnant for sometime after that. She said it was very mysterious that i did not want to BF anymore. She was at an appt to get her tubes tied when they told her she was pregnant. Then it made sense to her as to why I didnt want to bf anymore. She BF all 3 of my brothers for a year. Incidently I am the sickest of the 3. I had many infections as a child and pertussis (even though i was vaxed). I have crohn's disease and many allergies. My brothers are all fine and did not get nearly as sick.

Oh I forgot to add that my mother was a great help when I was learning to BF DD. I am still going strong and plan on BF for at least 2 years. My family is very curious about extended breastfeeding. I give them little facts about it all the time. My mom didnt know it was acceptable to do it past a year or that you could tandem nurse. She wishes she knew about that because she would have tried it.
post #37 of 99
my mom exclusively nursed me until just under a year, when she says i weaned myself. i've discussed with her the argument that babies that young don't really self-wean, and she says she doesn't know what else you would call it. she says i gradually nursed less and less and she discouraged my weaning but it happened anyway. she only nursed my little brother for four months, because his father was unsupportive (we have different fathers- mine is very pro-nursing). she still regrets the loss of their nursing relationship. she is supportive of breastfeeding until two, and says she understands why people would go longer (but i think it is clear that she doesn't personally think i should go longer).

my mil barely nursed at all, she switched to formula within the first few weeks because she didn't think her babies were getting enough food. she was very thin and was a heavy smoker, so it is possible that her supply was low... but either way, she is also supportive up to a point. she did tell me the other day, though, that she thinks extended breast feeding is "ridiculous," and she is always making comments about how she can't wait until we wean so she can feed dd "because she really just wants to help me out and let me get some rest."

my grandmother has also encouraged me by speaking positively of nursing for as long as i can remember. way before i ever thought of getting pregnant she would tell me about how much she loved nursing, how it was such a special time in her life, how beneficial it was to her babes' health and how nursing helped foster a strong connection between her and them.

and yes, it is very helpful to have my family support me. whenever someone says something negative about nursing, i can call my mom and tell her and she will say (in the case of the last example), "well, i didn't feed you a thing other than breastmilk before you were six or seven months old. you don't have to listen to that advice! the longer you can wait before introducing other foods, the stronger your supply will stay."
post #38 of 99
nak

i was breastfed until i was 4, and saw my mom breastfeed my sister (6 years younger than me) for a couple years and my two other younger sisters my stepmom breastfed until they were 2 and 3. it's always just been a very natural and expected thing. my sister (the one who is 6 years younger) is nursing her daughter right now, too.

one "downside" to it, though, is that my mom and sister had no trouble at all with nursing, while i had a lot of nipple soreness and i was sort of ashamed to admit it because it seemed so simple and easy for them. it helped when my stepmom told me she also had some soreness with her first baby and that it didn't last. mine didn't last either, and it was good to be able to talk to someone who had had a bit of difficulty, too.

i don't know if my husband was breastfed. i assume he was for a while, but i doubt it was for much longer after starting solids. i have very little to do with his family, so they don't influence me much anyway.

edit: also, my dad is a natural health nut and is super supportive of my nursing, too. i learned a lot from my parents about things like co-sleeping and not CIO, etc., by seeing them raise my sisters.
post #39 of 99
My mom went back to work a week after I was born, so I don't think I got hardly any breastmilk. My granma questioned me when I was bfing, asking why not use formula? Its so much easier.
My immune system is great! Aside from a winter flu now and then, I've never been one to get sick much, and I have no allergies or other health conditions.

So my upbringing did not affect my choices or my system too much.

On dh's side, his 2 older sisters were not bf'd, but he was. His mom is a nurse, so she supported me for awhile, but after 9 months or so, I got comments, though I ignored them.
post #40 of 99
I breastfed until 3 1/2. DH was also breastfed, not sure exactly how long, but at least a year.

Also, every female relative of mine has breastfed at least 18 months, sometimes more.

Breastfeeding was always the norm for me, so I wouldn't even consider FF and I was determined to make BFing work. DS breastfed until 21 months (I was hoping it would be at least 2 years) when he decided to stop because he didn't like the taste of my colostrum. I will be breastfeeding this baby as well, with a goal of at least 2 years, but happy to go longer if the baby needs/wants.
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