Were you BFed? How long? Does it affect the support system you have? - Page 3

[kalamos23]

I was BF for about a year-15 months - mom said I weaned myself bc she was pregnant with my sister and didn't like the taste - there are 9 kids in the family and we are all spaced to where she got pregnant at 9m-15m excepting the youngest 2 who are closer to 3 years apart. They are the only 2 that nursed for longer than 15m apparently...

As far as DH goes, he's the youngest of 3 - MIL nursed SIL and BIL (not sure how long - probably not over a year though) but did formula for him? She said she only BF the other 2 bc it was cheaper than formula. On top of that, DH gained fast and at 4 weeks the ped. told her to not feed him more than a quart of formula (32 oz - that is a LOT for a newborn!) and to feed him apple juice diluted with water after that. Then at 4 months when he was still growing fast, the ped. told her to take him off formula and onto 2% cow's milk. *rolls eyes*

The funny thing is that DD gains even faster than DH and on BF! I will be BFing DD as long as she wants to go.

[inky leeuhhh]

i was not bfd. my mom told me i was given goats milk. so not sure if that was a goats milk formula, or just goats milk . she does not seem to have much opinion either way on my breastfeeding dd2. she can't for the life of her figure out why i would CD though, because it is "SO much work". my grandmother bf'd her i think for a few months, and then switched her to a bottle because the dr told her she didn't have enough milk. my grandma is pretty supportive of my bfing , and says to people "see how fat and healthy the baby is? it's because leah's nursing her". lol. i found out the other day that my aunt bf'd my cousin until he was 5. i thought that was pretty impressive!

[hibiscus mum]

I believe me and my 3 other siblings were breastfed until at least six months. I seem to recall my mother saying that my youngest brother nursed longer than a year because he refused to take a bottle. I never felt I needed support while BFing because I was lucky enough to not have any issues, and I knew it was something very important to me. I also lived halfway across the country so neither my parents nor my ILs saw me BFing much.

My MIL on the other hand didn't BF any of her kids because FIL thought "it would be a sexual experience." (eyeroll) Whatever that means. Now that we live in the same city as them, I frequently BF my newborn son in their living room, but it seems like everyone sort of leaves the room when they notice me doing it. I think they'd prefer if I went and did it in private somewhere else in the house, but I never bothered to ask. At the same time, MIL is very big on building healthy attachments (she's in the child development field) but I think she just doesn't quite get the BFing because she never did it herself.

This thread reminded me of something not all that relevant, but I think it's funny and sort of cute. Growing up, we kids had our own bathroom in our house. Under the sink there was a big bin full of plastic bath toys and other stuff like a hot water bottle. My mom's old breast pump somehow ended up in there too (very oldschool style with the big orange rubber ball on the end). I vividly remember pumping my "breasts" in the tub for fun, I guess since I'd seen my mom do it.

[lee1203]

I was breastfed for about a month, a little less for my older sister. Apparently my sister wasn't gaining weight fast enough, so she switched to formula. And I can't remember the exact phrasing my mom used, but I wasn't getting enough milk... I have since told her the problem - tongue tie. I suspect that if she knew that was the problem she would have had it fixed and gone longer. My sister only breastfed her kids for about a week or two. I was so gosh darn proud of myself for hitting 6 weeks because it was the longest anyone has gone in my family. 7 months now!

My husband was breastfed for a little over a year. My MIL is very supportive of nursing (although in another country so not someone I could easily call with questions). My mom is too, although she's a little more... prudish, for lack of a better word, about nursing in public. She also lives nowhere near here, so even if she wasn't supportive it really wouldn't matter. I'm just glad that I'm the first of my friends to have a baby so hopefully they see it and take it as normal (about half were formula babies).

[Carita]

My mom Bfed my older sis for a few months at least, and then my Brother only for 6 weeks, and then she had to go back to school/work. She actually was going to FF, and my dad was the one who asked her to give BFing a try.

My younger and I sis came 12 years later - a bit of a "do-over" and we were both nursed over a year. She has always said she regretted not BF my brother longer. Interestingly he is the one that is least "connected" to my mom.

My mom has been super supprtive - she has looked up a lot of info on DS's dairy allergy and told me that I should BFed as long as I can because it is better than the alternatives

My MIL is very supportive - she said she nursed exclusively for 9 mo or a year or something, and weaned well after a year. DH is healthy as a horse! She was soooo wonderful in the beginning when I first has DS, and just being really motivational. She was a little surprised I was still nursing at about 18 mo - but she tries to be really nice about it.

ETA: all of this led to a great BFing environment... I never thought once about FF - the only fam member I had that FF was my SIL that is practically anorexic. So I think it has DEFINITELY influenced me.

[heinz28]

I plan to BF my daughter as long as I can.

That being said, I wasn't BF and I have one of the best immune systems I know. I also have no allergies. I'm almost freakish in my immunity so far in life.

For instance, while I was in the Army, I had to have the small pox vaccination twice because it didn't take the first time (or the second for that matter). The vaccination "takes" when you develop a blister.

I support BF 100% but I think one's general immunity level may have a lot more to do with genetics and luck.

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by AFWife

Just curious if your upbringing influenced your choice to BF...

I was EBF and self weaned at 14mo. My mom asked how long to BF and her doctor told her "She'll stop when she's ready." One day I just stopped asking for "nummies" before bed. She said it was really hard for her emotionally, but she was SO glad she chose to let me make that choice. So I have lots of support from her to BF until he's done.

DH's mom was different. She introduced food early (like, 3mo and he got cereal) and weaned all of the kids before a year. FIL has also been heard to say that "6 or 7mo is long enough" and last night MIL was SHOCKED when I said I was considering going for 2 years. (We're for sure on a year, after that it's up to the baby)




What about you?

nak

I wasn't...birth trauma/extended hos stay/nasogas formula feeding ruined any chance of that.


But it was the catalyst that led my mom to research and commit...her other 10 kids were all ebf and clw.

I have lots of support....both fams are pro-bf or rather bf is the only option so its completely normalized...nurse in fam getogethers and don't even get a blink...even the teen boys could care less it's all normal to them.

[phrogger]

I was breast fed, or at least attempted to be breast fed for 3 weeks. My mom finally gave up when I had lost almost a full pound. She delivered at a catholic hospital and didn't know there was other support out there then the nuns/nurses. They just kept telling her to give me formula. I was born by c-section and didn't see my mom for 12 hours, I had already been giving 4 bottles and my mom has inverted nipples. Not making excuses, just saying breast feeding for her would have been difficult and no one was there to help her. My grandmother never BF. When my mom had my twin sisters and I was only 2, she didn't even try. She did however make sure that we were always held very close when we were bottle fed.

So with all of that, my mom was actually jealous, but so thankful I was able to nurse or pump for every kid I have given birth too (I was a surrogate and birth mother so even those babies nursed or I pumped for them). My mom was just as sad as I was when my first self weaned at 11 months (which he really did, it wasn't a strike). And my second I had to stop early for many reasons, but I did end up pumping from 6 months to 9 months for him. He just wouldn't nurse anymore after he started on the bottles.

I am pg again and my mom is betting I will nurse for 3 years. I said no, maybe 2 if that long, but for sure at least a year. She still thinks it will be longer.

My MIL on the other hand was just asking me today what type of bottles I plan to use, when I told her none, she said "oh, you will give that up very quickly, I did". This has been on going with her since we told her I was pg. This is my husband and my first baby together and she just doesn't get that I have already done this. My former mil was super supportive and actually nursed her two younger boys for almost 2 years, but didn't nurse my ex husband because she basically had almost an identical experience to my mother.

So basically, my mom is supportive, my MIL thinks I am insane and well, I just think it is funny that MIL will have to eat her words.

[fjernsyn]

I was breastfed until my fourth birthday. I think it has affected how I feel about breastfeeding. I don't have a baby yet, but plan to CLW. I know that DP's side of the family might be less supportive, but it just seems normal to me and I know I'll always have support from my mom and dad. It has also prevented any little nagging thought that BFing kids for that long will do any number of horrible things to them psychologically. Had I not been BFed so long, I might buy into that sort of fear mongering more.

[ILovePie]

I can only answer for my mother through stories I have heard, because she died almost 15 years ago. I have heard she nursed me anywhere from 18 months to at least 2 years. I'm inclined to say at least two years, because a friend clearly remembers her needing to be home with me on new years because I was still nursing (my 2nd birthday would have been coming up). I think I might have vague recollections of being weaned, or at least of a sort of emotional turmoil around bedtime. But I really can't be sure whether I weaned on my own or she weaned me.

Mom was kind of a trailblazer in the family in this regard. My grandmother was supportive of her, but also (according to my VERY pro-nursing aunt) very uncomfortable for her as she nursed in public in the late '70s and early '80s.

Everyone in my family that I know of has nursed. I know of one family member who supplemented with formula after having a preemie, but I think she EBFed her other kids.

On DH's side, everyone nursed, including his grandmother.

Everyone that I know of in our families weaned by about a year, though. However, they've all been supportive or at least haven't made any comments (yet?) about DS still nursing at almost 14 months. I think they are aware that I don't have an end date in mind.

We had tremendous difficulties nursing at first, and I appreciated the stories of my family member's and the support from MIL (given that I don't have my own mother to help me, and that was a very difficult time for me. Luckily my MIL was very frank about all the post-partum stuff!). They were also very gentle in asking whether we had switched to formula after weeks and weeks of one issue after another.

[Whispers]

I wasn't BF neither were my siblings. It just wasn't done back in the 70's and 80's. Formula was considered superior to BM. However like some other people have said who have been FF I have an amazing immune system. I have never been ill except for a few occasional sniffles, I never got any childhood illnesses, allergies, stomach problems or anything like that. I also think genetics must play some part in your general health.

Dh is exactly the same in terms of general health and he was BF for 8 weeks. He was the youngest and the only one to be BF in his family. MIL said BF just wasn't done but by the time dh was born she had met a local LLL member who encouraged her to try. She gushes about how wonderful BF was with DH and he is closer to her then her other children.

Suprisingly I have found my mother more encouraging of BF then my MIL. My mother will just sit and watch me BF. I think she regrets not doing it. She constantly asks me questions about how it works and is amazed my babies didn't drink water. MIL on the other had doesn't agree with BF beyond 2 months and she always wants to know if "he is still drinking from me". I don't pay much attention to it.

[kalynnsmom]

Interesting thread!

My mom has four kids and we were bf'ed for about 6 weeks. I know with my brother, she was given poor advice and she quit. My mom is supportive of breastfeeding up to a point. I have 3 kids, DD#1 weaned at 17 months and my twin boys are still nursing at 31 months. She doesn't agree with nursing past one, because in her words "If they have to be off the bottle at one, then they should be off the breast by one". So, unfortunately, I don't have much support now.

I have also noticed that if I chose a different path, she takes it a bit personal. I chose to start solids with my boys at 7-8 months. My mom didn't understand why I chose to start that late and said "Well, I started you guys on cereal at 6 weeks and you guys are fine".

[mjg013]

No I wasn't. My mom never even considered it. It wasn't something she was familiar with in any way. My grandmother breastfed some of her children but I don't know which ones. She worked a lot and had 6 kids and was a single mom for much of it. When I had my first I wanted to breastfeed. I don't know why. I was 17 when I got pregnant and no one I knew breastfed except 2 aunts that married into the family. Once of them pumped for a year for each of her kids. It was so foreign to me and I wasn't really educated about the health benefits. It was just something that seemed natural and preferable to me. Unfortunately, I had no support. I had her in a small town and the nurses pressured me in the hospital to give her a bottle saying she wasn't getting enough to eat. I lived with my mom who knew nothing about breastfeeding but seemed the authority on newborn care to me. When I got home and my milk really came in I wanted to try again and was told that breastfeeding after formula feeding for the first week would make my baby sick. I'll always feel guilty for not educating myself more. When I met dh and we married and had my 2nd child I knew more and was away from the people who gave bad info. I was in a big city in a hospital that was very pro-breastfeeding. My nipples were bleeding in the hospital and I wanted to give up and this great nurse showed us how to use an alternate feeding system and I nursed her for 6 months until I went to work and couldn't pump to keep my supply up adequately. I'm now nursing my 7th child. I nursed my 3rd for 6 months then quit work with my 4th and she nursed until she self-weaned at 15 months. My 5th also self weaned around 16 months and my twins also self-weaned around 16-18 months. My current nursling is almost 10 months old and going strong. My family and my inlaws are supportive because they know that I know what I'm doing.

[orangefoot]

I was breastfed for 6 months in 1973. My mum says 6 months was a long time to hold out back then!

She has never said anything negative about me feeding our children and I fed my last babe for 2 years. Just this week she was telling me that her hairdresser is breastfeeding her 8mo and is getting comments of surprise over that every day. My mum told her that 8mo is still tiny and she should just keep feeding as long as she wants to. She's already talked to her about EC and Mooncups as well so the hairdresser must think my mum is a bit crazy.

MIL on the other hand told me that it wasn't a problem that my SIL was having problems feeding our dn when she was born becuase 'that first milk isn't really any good anyway' SIL made it to a month mixed feeding then dn started rejecting her milk. FIL commented that even though I bf his grandchildren they seemed to do alright on it.

Having your parents say yes to you when everyone else is saying no makes a big difference I think

[nia82]

Interesting thread!

My oldest sister was breastfed for 2 months, then apparently my mom's milk dried up... My other sister was breastfed for 2 weeks, then my mom had appendicitis and had the shot to dry up her milk (dunno whose decision: doc or mom's). I had milk for 2 days, and because they thought there was no milk, they put me on formula. I guess my mom's milk wasn't in yet and they just gave up. My mom doesn't really talk about it, but I do know that she believes in bf causing sagging boobs and she is quite a vain person. I think it was by choice to formula feed us. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but her parenting decision have always been based on convenience.
She now is very supportive, even a little sad, I have a feeling she regrets that she formula fed us. She is supportive of baby-led weaning as well. My dad googled the issue and is totally on my side.
DH was formula-fed, his siblings nursed for 10 months (one weaned cause MIL was pregnant again, the other one "weaned himself"). She is supportive of 12 months nursing, but not beyond that. She wouldn't say anything though, I know her opinion but she keeps it to herself.
I don't know how it affected us, my immune system is decent... But DS has only been sick once and it was no biggie at all. I don't know any formula fed babies to compare him with....
Now I hope my oldest sister will choose breastfeeding... She is due August 2nd and I fed her with all the good information... She takes after my mom in vanity, and I am trying hard to convince her that breastfeeding doesn't cause saggy boobs...

[MissE]

I was breastfed for 6 weeks after that it apparently wasn't enough milk for me and I wanted to eat 'real food'. I was born in east Germany and there was no information for my parents so I'm thinking that I really just had a growth spurt and my mom didn't know what to do and started feeding me babyfood instead. I turned out quite normal in the end and I'm not wishing that she would have breastfed me any longer...My brother was only breastfed for two weeks because my mom got sick and had to take medicine. She switched my brother to formula from one day to another, causing him to have severe GI problems for a few years. He eventually grew out of it.

While my mom and grandma's are supportive of breastfeeding, they believe that proloned (past the magical 6 months mark) breastfeeding makes you crazy. I guess they are secretly shaking their heads at my decicion to breastfeed for 1+ years but I really don't care.

[2xy]

I was born in 1971 and my mom nursed me for a couple of months, so she says. My mom is sort of "out there" and I'm not sure I believe her. She told me that she had to stop because she wasn't eating properly and her milk dried up. Doesn't sound right to me, since I've seen pictures of her when I was a baby and she looks perfectly normal.

She also told me that I was delivered by forceps when she was only dilated to 3 centimeters.

Apparently, after I was no longer being BF, I was given some sort of goat's milk concoction. When DS1 was born, she was supportive of breastfeeding but insisted that if I gave him some cereal at night that he would sleep longer (like, when he was a week old).

My IL's were not unsupportive of BF, but my FIL was uncomfortable being around me and my SIL when we nursed. He and his brothers were born at home, left intact, and nursed back in the 40's, so I'm not sure what his problem is.

At any rate, we were a military family and didn't live near our relatives, so their support didn't mean much either way.

[mama_daba]

my mom was told by doctors that she couldn't and she never did anything to educate herself or questioned doctor's so i was not breastfed at all although she did want to. my dp was breastfed a little but had a poor latch and his mom was also misinformed and had no support so he ended up on formula very quickly. so far both families are very supportive of my son being breastfed he is 19 months. we plan to do clw and i expect nothimg but support at least nothing but support in front of me if they are uncomfortable they probably won't ever say so around me.

[PoetryMom]

My Mom BF my older brother for about 3 months, me for a month and my two younger siblings not at all. She says she had to stop early due to mastitis, but she was also of the belief..."if you can afford formula..."

I had my first at 18 and did everything exactly how my mother told me (I was very scared) - so no nursing. Plus, I had to get a job after 6 weeks and I didn't have the faintest idea that there was such thing as a pump.

15 years later I had my second, and I was more educated and also had my sister who had BF her DD for about 18 months (unheard of in my world). I read Mothering magazine and was comitted to nursing this baby; except that my crazy work schedule made it very hard to pump at regular times and my milk "dried up" after 4 months. This was a very difficult time for me, and all my mother had to say about it was that as a working mother I should not be putting myself through all that stress unnecessarily. After all, "we all turned out fine".

When DD2 was born I was even more determined to nurse for at least a year. A better work schedule and an "I don't care what's happening right now, I have to go pump" attitude made it possible to BF my baby for 14 months, and really she weaned herself. I also called my sister a lot and didn't discuss BFing with my mother much.

I know she meant well, but she simply couldn't understand what was the point of a working mother adding more work and stress to her life. To me it was all I wanted to do. I'm so glad I did!!

[Mulvah]

Edited by Mulvah - 10/16/11 at 6:30am