Were you BFed? How long? Does it affect the support system you have? - Page 4

[jeminijad]

My mother BF'd my brother and I in 1983 & 1985, in east Texas, with a mother who told her it was "disgusting." I don't know how long for, but I believe around 6 months. Certainly far better than many of my Beaumont area peers got.

Unfortunately, that is essentially the only positive thing I can say about her parenting and I am not about to call her and ask her for details! She tried nursing her 3rd child, my much younger brother, in 1995 but he ended up on formula quickly... I think I recall her trying to lose too much weight too quickly, which from this distance I can believe would have really affected her milk supply.

I don't have positive support or negative pressure, really... I had consumed thousands of pages of text and internet regarding nursing and troubleshooting that I really was as prepared as a person can be. DH is take-it-or-leave-it, glad that we don't pay for formula but he and his sibs were all bottle fed from birth so he doesn't see what the big deal is. MIL doesn't discuss it, at all- can't tell if she regrets not doing BFing or just wants to keep her opinions to herself. FIL isn't a big fan but he is a rather ignorant person (not mean, just has a very small sphere of knowledge & experience) and he doesn't bother me at all!

I really, really wonder what my decisions would have been like if I lived 30 years ago, pre Internet and The Doctor Is God era.

[Biscuits & Gravy]

My mom nursed me until I was about 9-10 months old and she got pg with my brother. She nursed him for 6 months I think, then my 2nd brother for 8 months. Then she had to have major surgery and weaned him.

My mom is super supportive of me. She works in NICUs and is also very supportive of new moms there. I think her level of support for them has even increased since I've become a mom. She sees my passion for encouraging other moms to nurse, and it has renewed a passion in her. She does her very best to provide those moms with anything she can to help them be successful with breastfeeding their babies.

I was talking to her recently and realized that she has become much more aware and sensitive to moms who are AP/NFL, wanted little intervention in the birth process, but ended up with situations that did not fit what they had planned or wished for. She has a new perspective and a better understanding of how she can help those moms now, and it is definitely a result of seeing my parenting choices and discussing them with me.

[Dov'sMom]

I was bf on and off until 3 months -- my mother was finishing up her PhD and teaching a class two days a week in another city so she'd leave me with a sitter and formula for two days a week (like 8 to 10 -- full days) but she mostly nursed the rest of the time.

I remember my mother struggling to breastfeed my youngest siblings, who were twins, and making up bottles for the one while the other nursed (she switched them off each feeding). She nursed them to 5 weeks, when she went back to work full time.


Support: eh. Everyone in my family understands that breastfeeding is ideal, but my father is not comfortable with seeing it -- so it must be fully covered and preferably even then he doesn't want to be there. [When my parents visited and DS1 was 1 week old I was nursing him covered in the dining room and mymother told me my father wasn't comfortable because even if he couldn't see my breast, he could see what I was doing. I told her it was my house and he was welcome to leave the room.] Now that DS1 is 30 months old and still nursing, they just don't talk to me about it. Which, all things considered, is pretty good! My sister, who fully nursed her first until 15 months, supplemented her second but nursed her through a year, and stopped nursing her third at 3 months when the doctors told her he wasn't getting enough milk so she had to switch to formula (actually, he has an autoimmune issue that prevented him from gaining weight) finds it absolutely disgusting that DS1 is still nursing.

DH was breastfed through, oh, probably 3, and has vivid memories of his mom nursing his younger brother, who is 3 years younger. DH has no memories before age 6, so that means she nursed him at least that long too (MIL has no memories of when her boys were little -- sad!). MIL lives with us most of the time, and she is uber-supportive of extended breastfeeding, but, like I said, she has no memories of what she did or why. So not much *practical* help but plenty of support.

[gagin37]

my mom bf'ed all 3 of us girls until we were well over two years. same with mil and her 3 kids. I've had a lot of support from both sides. for me it was just what you do, I don't think I ever let the possibility of formula or bottles enter my mind.

[soccermama]

I was not bf'ed but my H was for a short while.

My mom vs. my MIL - my mom has been more suppportive in that area overall. It surprised me because my MIL is in the nursing field and has been for a majority of her life. She nursed H for only a couple of weeks and couldn't stand it any longer. My mom was very young when she had me and wasn't really clued in to the benefits of bf'ing, etc., so she didn't attempt.

I was only able to nurse DS for a few months due to very low supply. Eventhough I was only able to bf DS for a short period of time, I found support from my Mom from the get-go and shortly thereafter, from my MIL as well. I guess my Mom just expressed it more than my MIL - I don't really think that the support was less than the other.

H supported me in the beginning, but a few months after DS stopped bf'ing, he thought that the amount of time that I bf'ed DS was just enough. I guess that stems from his own mother not bf'ing him for long? Still has me a little discouraged and I'm hoping that when we have more children, he'll be a bit more supportive & educated.

[Mal85]

My mom had 6 kids. She didn't even attempt to BF the oldest three who were born in the late 60's and through the 70's because it was not recommended as much at that time. She felt it was taboo. The two born before me were BF for 8 weeks, because that's what her doctor recommended. She attempted to BF me and would have done 8 weeks with me like she did the previous two. But she had a tubal ligation done while she was in the hospital when she had me. She said it messed with her hormones and after two weeks, she still didn't have any milk and I was starving, so she put me on formula.

My mom supports me in breastfeeding but has yet to ask me how long I intend to do it. My sister breastfed all her babies (except one who spent quite a bit of time in a children's hospital after her birth, during which time she pumped but was overwhelmed by her diagnosis when they got her home, so she put her on formula... complicated story). But my sister's last baby has a very sensitive stomach and reacted badly to a lot of things my sister ate. My mom pushed her hard to put that baby on formula, even refusing to baby sit for my sister unless the baby was on formula. If I'd had any issues like that, I'm sure she would have strongly encouraged me to use formula. At 3 m/o, I am starting to suspect we have some reflux issues going on (going to the dr. today to see about it). If that is the case, I can almost guarantee my mom will push for us to use formula.

I think she just doesn't know better and has never done the research. She uses information from when she was having kids (I was her last, born in 1985) and information from her own mother who had her kids in the 50's. And she's very mainstream, so sees nothing wrong with formula and doesn't think breastfeeding is really necessary after the first few weeks.

[NaturalMindedMomma]

I was not bfed. Neither was my older brother. He was born in 80 and I was in 84. My mom was returning to work 6 weeks post partum and really wanted her body back and did not want to feel pregnant anymore. She also did not want to have to wean at 6 weeks, she felt it was unfair.

I understand her reasoning and she even admits it was a bit selfish. She worked as a hair dresser and would not have had time to pump much either.

[Bluegoat]

I wasn't BF, though my mom was a nurse and knew it was the best option. But she had almost no support - my dad was away at sea, and my Nana was very anti-BF, and her MIL hadn't done it either. So I think she just felt too alone and overwhelmed.

My sister, 3 years later, was BF for about, I think, 2 months, when my mom had to have dental surgery for a huge abscess.

My half-sister, who is 12 years younger, was BF for 2 1/2 years, which probably influenced me more than what happened to me or my sister.

My MIL BF her boys for 6 months each.

[kcstar]

I was BF'ed, I don't know how long. There was a m/c between me and my sister. The oldest four of us (late '70's, early 80's) were all BF, the third one even cross-nursed with another mother who (eventually) had five boys about the same age range as the four of us.

I can remember one time, around age six or so, my mom was nursing one of my brothers (probably the fourth child), and I asked for a taste. She put a drop on my finger, and I didn't like it.

The fifth and sixth were born in the 1990's, and mostly bottle-fed. I think for #5, he got jaundice at ~2-3 weeks, went under the bili-lights, and that probably caused enough problems to slow / stop nursing. Or that combined with Mom's job.

The sixth refused to nurse. We think he broke his collarbone at birth, so it hurt too much, and even though Mom was at home at the time, it just didn't work out.

[jljeppson]

My mum had 8 with a few miscarriages in there, and nursed 7 of us to around a yr or so (including twins). Number 4 nursed to 3 mths and then weaned because my mom had a surprise pregnancy and her milk dried up. My mom swears (jokingly) that's why she was so much meaner as a child than the rest of us. My mom has been very supportive of my breastfeeding and has been disappointed that most of my nieces and nephews haven't been breastfed for long (or some at all). My MIL has been supportive as well, though I don't think she nursed any of her kids past 6mths. I don't think she sees much of a point past 1 yr, but my MIL has always been the kind to mind her own business when it comes to stuff like that (part of the reason I love her so much). My 1st was nursed to 11mths then weaned because I had viral meningitis (and he didn't care at all), the next nursed until around a yr, 3rd nursed until around 11mths when my milk dried up due to a surprise pregnancy, 4th for 15mths when I weaned so I could get pregnant with #5, #5 for 13-14mths, and #6 is 15 mths and going strong. No objections or disagreements from any family members.

[ShadowMoon]

I was not BF'd at all but my mother and family were been nothing but supportive about my decision to BF the babe.

[battymama]

I was nursed for 6 months or so, My mum was originally not going to breastfeed because she was going to have to go back to work a few weeks later part time then full time at 6 months. Well after a horendous delivery, where i almost died she decided that she was going to breastfeed. SHe had a lot of problems, severe engorgement, bleeding nipples the works, as well as extreemly severe pnd, which we now think was ptsd from the birth. I was never really ebf though because my Nanna insisted she give me bottles of rice cereal and bm.

My mum weaned me at 6 months, she had to go on meds that wearnt compatable, was going back to work and my Nanna who we lived with was being pushy about weaning me. She always regreted weaning me, and growing up she was a huge advocate for breastfeeding, and she always said it was the only time she wished she was married so she could of staid at home and breast feed. She is super suportive of me, she was a bit wigged out about extended bfing as she thought you were only "meant" to do it for a year, but now she knows about it she is super supportive She has even said that if anything happens to me she will relactate if she can I love my mummy :

My Mil Breastfed all her babies for 9-12 months, they were ebf until about 5 months. She is also super suportive.

[winter singer]

Wow, just discovered this interesting thread. So fascinating to read about people's choices way back and how that can still have an impact now.

My mother tried to bf my oldest brother, born in 1967, but gave up after 2 weeks because she found it exhausting. I'm sure she had little or no support for it - as far as I know, nobody in her family had breastfed for at least two generations. I also suspect though that she was very ambivalent about it in any case - she's always said things like 'either way [meaning either with bf or formula] they thrive', and doesn't seem to have any regrets. With my other brother and myself (born 1971) she didn't try at all. She put cereal in my formula at 2 weeks and says I was a 'terrific sleeper'.

She's always been rather, um, certain about her views on babycare and when my SIL had her first daughter , 12 years ago, my mother and aunts gave her an enormous amount of grief over her decision to ebf. (My niece was a high-needs baby.) Luckily for me, I live in another country now and have been able to keep my mother and her not-very-helpful opinions at a healthy distance. I was also very fortunate that, even though DD was quite small when she was born (5.4 pounds), she turned out to be a champion nurser and put on weight very quickly in the early months. There wasn't much my mother could say to that. I'm sure it would have been a different story if we'd run into any problems with the bf.

As far as immunities/resistance, I've had two horrible colds since DD was born that knocked me out for days and then developed into bronchitis. DD got the colds too, but in a far milder way - she just snuffled a bit from time to time but wasn't slowed down at all, and had no sign of bronchitis. Yay for bf and antibodies! I'm so proud of myself for breaking out of my family's formula rut! :

I must admit, I really envy the people in this thread who've had supportive mothers - could have done with that, particularly in the exhausting first few weeks after DD was born. But I've found this community and sites like Kellymom enormously helpful!

[mags]

My mom did not nurse any of her children. She has stuck with this, "theme." She has fought tooth and nail with me about the issue of BFing. She feels that I should FF my children. Keep in mind I am a LLL leader, so not amt of my mom's annoying nagging is going to keep me from BFing my babies. However, she has shown an amazing determination to try to make me FF. She was even stupid enough to ask me when I had my 2nd baby if I planned to BF him too, this was the first time she came to visit me after I gave birth. I think I almost slapped her in the face for asking such a stupid question. If I BF'd my first baby... why wouldn't I BF my subsequent children too????

I think that mostly, she wants me to FF, so she doesn't have to feel guilty about her choice to FF (oh and did I mention that my dad is a ped, who is NOT supportive of BFing... I'll leave that vent for another day). She went as far as to bring cans of formula with her every time she visited until DS1 was 6 mo old (I donated all of it to a women's shelter), and then when I told her she was being unsupportive she pretended to be stupid and said she just brought it, "just in case" I needed it. She told me that she thought I would need formula at night, so I could get some sleep?!?!? I NEVER asked her for any formula, in fact I kept telling her to STOP bringing it and she just kept ignoring my wishes. She also called both of my brothers (who know nothing about children, they were single back then) and told them that I was starving my baby to death, b/c breastmilk was not enough and that they had to convince me to switch for formula. So, she tried to turn the entire family against me and then claims that despite all of her actions, she was, "supportive" of me.

Now my sil is expecting her first baby and my mom is already trying to work on her about the whole FF thing and I have flat out told my sil to keep my mom away from visiting UNTIL she has BFing under control (sil wants to BF). My mom is pretty upset, she thinks that she was very supportive of my BF efforts, and I can't figure out how in her own crazy lala land how her attitude and actions could be interpreted by anyone as being, "supportive" of BFing. I am always so jealous when my friends have mothers or mils supportive of BFing. Even my mil, who BF'd her kids was NOT supportive of my BFing efforts, which is another gripe for another day.

[Poodge]

Hi, new here and nak.

My mom nursed me until I self weaned (per her) around a year. DH was a FF baby as that was what you did in the mid 70s. My mom has been very supportive through all our challenges. MIL really hasn't said anything except asking when we plan to give solids as they gave them to DH at a month old!!! I just quoted AAP recommendation of nothing but BM for six months and then FIL said it helped DH sleep - but neither of them pushed it. No one is close to us however so we don't get a lot of input from our parents.

Funny story about my mom learning to breastfeed me: It was in 1979 and there was not a ton of support. She asked for help with flat nipples and the nurse gave her a bottle nipple! On day 5 she went to the nursery in tears and one of the nurse down there grabbed her and ripped open her gown and started examining my moms breasts. She gave my mom a nipple shield and taught my mom how to feed me. We ditched the shield at 3 weeks She loved that nurse!

[JudiAU]

Everyone nurses in our family. My family would have been horrified if I had chosen to formula-feed. People who really try and aren't successful are pitied and talked about in low tones. My mom doesn't remember how long she nursed us but thinks it was about a year. (1965, 1968, 1973). She remembers hustling home back home from her teaching job because I wouldn't take a bottle My grandmother was so committed to nursing that she just lied about it to people. The pressure to formula feed was so strong. The family's joke is that is the only lie my grandmother ever told.

My sister pumped and syringe-fed her second for a few weeks because of a premature latch and my cousin got her four month old (!) to finally latch after having many latch issues, so there is a lot of committment. Most people, including my sister, nurse until around 14-16 m. (Why, because have a family friend who is a lactation nurse who advises everyone we know that this is the easiest time to wean. Not ideal time, just the easiest, because they've already "had all the benefits of bf'ing.") Everyone thinks that cousin is crazy because she nursed until she was 3. My family thought it was a little eccentric that I pumped until 18m at work and bf'd almost until 2. He self-weaned when I was pregnant. NIP is normal but it is very discrete. None of the grandpas have opinions. *sigh* But can I mention that ever single one of bf'ing mommies nurses on demand but has a baby sleeping through the night at 7 months. And they don't CIO or anything. The babies just do. I was *really* unprepared for DS.

Dh and his brother were both bf'd but no longer than 6-7 months. Also, MIL "always carried a can of formula" so I wonder at the mix. She weaned because "she was told to" and expresses regret but not so secretly thinks that babies should be weaned before one. They also had a full time day AND night nurse and she advocates CIO. She knows the current research though and her comments are mix of the wildly nosy and inappropriate, self-pitying, and defensive. She also wanted us to feed solids very early and would deliberately serve DS a bottle of bm right before I got home so she got the privilege of feeding him. She thought it was selfish to insist on nursing him so often when I could do the convenient thing for her and pump a bottle so she got to feed him. Aggravating.

My mom has nine grandchildren and had never fed one of them a bottle until my DS. None of them would take a bottle or pacifier. She fed him one while my husband and I had a date night at around six months. My MIL expressed her sadness (and outrage) at this in front of us both, and my mom, bless her, didn't rise to the bait. All she said was something mild about nursing babies needing to be nursed.

I've actually never fed a baby a bottle.

My family is really healthy on the whole. DH's brother has terrible allergies and asmatha.

[zinemama]

My siblings and I were all bf. We were born in '65, '68 and '70. Yes, it had a definite impact on my plan to bf. I never considered anything else, it was totally normal.

On the other hand, when I had problems bfing, my mother was at a total loss. She never had a problem and really couldn't understand what I was going through.

[1littlebit]

i was nursed for over a year and a half... i don't think my mom knew how to wean and i was very erm... demanding my bro was BF for 9 mos and my mom swears he self weaned b/c he preferred the bottle b/c it was quicker and easier... which i later pointed out would not have been an issue if he had never had a bottle.. and it was probably a nursing strike but w/e. she also co slept with us b/c in her words she was to lazy to try and put us asleep in a crib and wayyy to lazy to get up out of bed to retrieve us and then return us to the crib. my aunt BF till my cousin was almost 3. i think my mom did it to annoy my grandmother.. she also gave birth in a birthcenter with a midwife and my grandmother still hasn't forgiven her and told me when i was pg how i shoudn't be like my mother .. and she was gritting her teeth and shaking her head

neither of them was supportive with the nursing. they werent unsupportive but they werent particularly helpful either. both my mom and my aunt told me FF was fine and BFing was really hard and i shouldn't feel like i had to do it. my mom told me how much she hated having to hand express into a cup if she left me alone ever. my aunt said formual fed babies are healthy and happy.. and i shouldn't pressure myself. after i weaned and was relactating i asked her why she hadn't pushed me to BF and she told me if she had known i wanted her to she would have my mom still thinks its stupid that i regret not BFing... i don't get it at all

they were also the ones who had natural births.., they both told me to listen to the doctor and not be a hero. they couldn't have been less helpful if they had snuck me into the operating room and then stole DS to give him tons of formula.. all b/c they didn't want to pressure me or make me feel guilty or force their opinions on me. if someone is fighting an unecessary c section and struggling to BF HELP THEM! i am sure they will forgive you for your unsolicited advice.

[Everrgreen]

My mom breastfed me for 9 months but had to stop because she had an infection that had been getting progressively worse since my birth and finally had to treat it (I'm not sure what it was or what the treatment was that prevented breastfeeding). She also attempted to breastfeed my adopted brother, but never could. She is very supportive of my breastfeeding.

My mil breastfed all 3 of her children (not sure how long) yet still got into a big argument with me when I was pregnant about how inappropriate nip is . However, she has never actually said anything to me when I have nip with her.

[Minou1975]

I was nursed for a year -- my mother said I weaned myself but that seems unlikely. But still, in London, 1975 she did beautifully and I so appreciate it.

My husband was nursed for three months then got a mix of formula and solids at six weeks (whoa!) and generally was carelessly parented by his mother (with whom he lived) and lovingly by his father (every other weekend). He had all kinds of allergies and asthma as a kid and still has difficulty with digestion. I had none. I'm still nursing our first DS at 10 months and hope to go until he weans himself.

I have had and still have TONS and TONS of support from both of my parents, my brother, our part-time nanny who breastfed all four of her kids, through insanely frequent nursing (tongue tie didn't reveal itself until my baby was 3 months because I had oversupply that masked it at first). MIL only criticizes.