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Were you BFed? How long? Does it affect the support system you have? - Page 5

post #81 of 99
How neat! My mom breastfed me for 17 weeks in 1981, at which point I cut two teeth (per my baby book, not her memory). She breastfed my brother for four months in 1984. She has been very supportive so far, but seems to think six months is long enough...but she hasn't asked when we'll wean and I won't be bringing it up. I did tell her there would be no rice cereal and no solids before 6 mos. at least, which she found curious.

Huz was FF, but his mother is completely accepting of my decisions. And he is completely supportive of me.
post #82 of 99
I was breastfed until I was 6 months old, when I started to refuse to nurse because I was teething. My mother thought I was rejecting her and didn't know that babies will sometimes go on a nursing strike while teething, she was young and had absolutely no support in nursing since she was the first to attempt it in a couple decades in our family. It broke her heart to stop nursing me, I do know that. She nursed one sister until she was 9 months old, she also went on a nursing strike because my mother was pregnant. She nursed the other sister until she was a year, and she nursed my brother for 18 months when he self-weaned. She's very supportive of nursing, but it annoys her when I nurse in public without a blanket over the baby's head (which the baby hates, which is why I don't do that!).

My husband was nursed until he was well over a year, she actually weaned him because she had another baby and didn't want to tandem nurse. His older brother was born in the 70's and never nursed, MIL was given the "shot" to dry up her milk. She was only 19 when she had him and was told formula was better anyway . His little sister was nursed until she was 6 months and put on solid food, not sure why since she nursed my husband for a "long time". MIL is very supportive of me nursing and doesn't seem to have any issues with me doing so for awhile that I know of. She's a very loving person and really appreciates the special bond that nursing can give you.
post #83 of 99
I was breastfed until I was about 3, and my younger siblings were breastfeed for progressively less time (shortest was 18 months).

My parents were supportive initially, but my mother did give me some bad advice that could have interfered with breastfeeding had there been a problem (putting baby down and jiggling bed to get her to sleep as a newborn, for example). They also became less supportive as time went on (such as for tandem nursing). Typical of my mother, if it wasn't an experience that she had, then I must be doing something wrong.
post #84 of 99
I was breast fed until around 3 and my mom is super supportive of my desire to do extended breast feeding. My dad and sister are too, so it's really great.

We have no idea about DH. His mom is really weird. She never tells stories about his childhood and so we really know nothing about it. Kinda sad. The one time she came to visit she was horrible all around, but did tend to give me dirty looks if I BF in the same room as her. I know if we see her again (had a big falling out when she was last here) she'll have something mean to say about BFing him still. Ugh she's a sucky MIL.
post #85 of 99
I was not breastfed and my husband was for 3 months? 6 months? no more than 6 months, but I'm not exactly sure on the amount of time.
My mom supports my decision to BF, i suppose. I think she felt very judged for choosing to FF so part of her is still on the defense. Example--an aunt that breastfed had a child that was frequently sick so my mom will say something like, "I thought BFed kids weren't supposed to be like that." That is also her response to my super gassy, spits-up-a-lot 3 week old. She also has said things like, "If they are old enough to ask for it, then they are too old to nurse!" She has stopped saying that since she was aware my 2.5 year old started asking to nurse though. :P She also told my I "had" to wean my oldest before the new baby was born in a "duh, you should KNOW that!" kind of way. For the most part though, she does not really talk about it negatively or positively. What I read from her is that if all these breastfed babies aren't all fantastic and super healthy at all times and it takes more time and effort, what is the point of BFing? Like perhaps I am stupid for doing it or only doing it so I can wear some kind of BFing badge.
My MIL told me while I was pregnant that any woman that didn't breastfeed was stupid. I'm not really sure that counts as support, haha. At the time it just made me feel a lot of pressure and, you know, think she was being a big jerk. We also had a lot of difficulty with BFing at first and she just... didn't get it. She thought the reason that we had problems was because I was young, dumb, and my mom didn't BF me. She gave me permission to stop trying since me being stressed out about it was probably stressing out the baby. Anyway, I guess she is very supportive of early breastfeeding as long as it works out perfectly. She hasn't said much to me about it, but i think she is uncomfortable with me BFing my toddler. My SIL has talked to me about breastfeeding past the age of one when my son was younger than one and she said some things about it not having any nutritional value after one year, blahblahblah. I assume my MIL has the same opinion.
post #86 of 99
i wasn't breastfed at all, I bf DD and she weaned herself around 11 months and I was heartbroken. I nursed DS til he was 15 months, and I kind of felt it was mutual but I wish we would have gone longer. He was just so violent and biting, etc. and I didn't seek the support I should have
post #87 of 99
my mom said she 'tried to nurse me and i didn't want to' so i went straight to bottle : I had no support with nursing from her.
post #88 of 99
1.5 year here! and i think it does help... she still has a hard time wrapping her head around CLW, but she is still supportive of it if i choose to do it! she is MOST defiantly 100% supportive to BF'ing and feels its the only and best way to go : !!!! she say FF should only be use when BF'ing can not take place...

DH was BF for 1 year however he is the second oldest and there are 4 kids in his family. he was the only one to be BF'ed for that long and his youngest sister is the only other one who was BF'ed and she was only BF'ed for 3mths so who know what my MILs thinking is... she is totally all over the board with her thoughts i dont turn to her much for support because her advice depends on her mood...
post #89 of 99
Cool thread! I've only read some of the responses, but I'll come back to read more.

I wasn't breastfed at all. My mother had her gall bladder removed when she was pregnant with me and had a planned C-section. This was in 1977. Her doctor advised against breastfeeding because of her blood pressure. Of course, that was silly, but she was a new mom and didn't really have support. Her mom didn't nurse any of her 9 children.

My sisters were both breastfed, though. The one who is 2 years younger than me nursed until she was 16 months old and the one who is 6 years younger than me nursed until she was 3. My mom was and is very supportive of all my breastfeeding situations - including tandem nursing (though she did worry about my exhaustion then and gently suggested weaning my oldest - she backed off when I told her I wasn't going to do that). She generally believes in child led weaning.

My dh wasn't breastfed. His mother is supportive of it, but it also may be that she's just not very likely to challenge my parenting decisions because she knows she'll get an earful. Ha!
post #90 of 99
If I understood my mom right, I was nursed a year, and my bro was only maybe 4-5 months. She had weaned me, I guess, because I needed more than she supplied, and my bro she flat out stopped because he was teething and nearly gnawed her nipple off. She was a huge supporter for me, she was helping me get DD latched on before the nurse came in the first time to help, and she was always a phone call away if I was having issues-- everything from, "try holding her like this, to, "yes, honey, you shouldn't eat spicy Mexican food when you nurse, no matter how good it looks!"

I have no idea about DH's upbringing, but he's very supportive of whatever I think is necessary for our child(ren).
post #91 of 99
I was BF past 1 yr (not sure how long exactly) and my mom is supportive.
My DH was BF for 6 weeks until my MIL was put on a course of meds because she broke out head-to-toe in hives, apparently from how much stress round the clock BFing put on her body (she FF her first two). My MIL and DH are supportive of BFing.
As supportive as they are now, all of them were way too quick to suggest supplementing with formula in the early weeks when it was just plain hell. My MIL went so far as to buy some and bring it to my house (I sent it back with her). She also asked me a few weeks ago when we were discussing DD's milk protein intolerance if I would FF if her pedi suggested putting her on special formula... I told MIL no I would not FF- I would fire the pedi : I think she was shocked.
But everyone has been pretty good about finding and even making me dairy free food, they all love to comment about how chunky DD is from my milk, and my mom is always commenting how DD is thriving
post #92 of 99
I was not breastfed do to medical issues at birth but my mom wanted to and had planned to. So she is completely supportive of my planning to breastfeed. Our goal is 6-12 months and we'll see from there! My partner is supportive of this goal as well and ready to help where she can!
post #93 of 99
I was selfweaned at about 4.5 years. Dh at 2.5-2.75 years.

There was no thought about not bfing this kid. I think my mom and mil would be very disappointed in me if I didn't bf. For both of them bfing was very easy.

Dh has issues with mamas who choose to ff. I do as well, but I think he's more of a irl lactivist while I hate formula co's and most medical advice having to do with bfing.

Interestingly, outside of being nursed, neither of us had other exposure to bfing. I fed my babies from plastic bottles. Dh doesn't remember seeing kids bfing in his family, though they were.
post #94 of 99
Myself and my 3 siblings were all breastfed. I self weaned around 18 months. My mom always spoke affectionately about nursing and I always looked forward to doing it with my own children

My mom was at the birth of my daughter and helped me with the first latch in the delivery room. Her support was wonderful and she encourages me to nurse as long as possible.

So yes, my upbringing definitely influenced my feelings.

DH's mom breastfed him for a year. It was (from what I can tell) more about economics than anything else. She introduced solids very early and wanted him to be "fattened up". She makes comments about our daughter's size (she is small and lean, but eats very well and nurses well) and tells us to give her all kinds of food and it DRIVES ME NUTS! LOL
post #95 of 99
My mother was a big bra-burning feminist who somehow got it into her head that breastfeeding would rob her of her freedom, so she fought it with everything she had. It didn't help that back then, the hospital nurses would openly look down on anyone who didn't nurse. Just to go against the grain, my mother chose formula. Finally, she had inverted nipples and was told she'd need to wear a shield, so that scealed my fate. I was bottlefed soy formula.

To be quite honest, my mother has supported my *choice* to breastfeed, but she still thinks it's a "whole bunch of troubles" (directly translated from québécois French!). I'm a very stubborn person though, so I just ignored her and kept doing what I wanted. I don't know why exactly, but DD only took a bottle ONCE at 8 weeks, and then never again. My mother equates that with a loss of freedom for me, and she sometimes talks about how I am sacrificing myself on the "alter of breastfeeding". I know she looks forward to the day that I wean. My father, on the other hand, was nursed for quite some time, by a wet nurse, as was the tradition in wealthy families in Viet-Nam. My grandmother was a midwife who ran a midwifery hospital in Saigon, so he was quite comfortable with the idea of extended nursing. Just the other day, he talked about the wonderful gift I have given my DD by nursing her for this amount of time. He still considers it a sacrifice on my part (because of the lack of sleep and the inability to pass DD off to DH for a bottle), but I think he feels it's a positive sacrifice. My mother, sadly, does not.

My DH was breastfed though I have no idea how long. MIL was an L&D nurse for decades and she firmly believed in the benefits of nursing. I think I got more support from my MIL, the lactation consultants I saw and the Nourri-Source group I attended, than from my own mother.
post #96 of 99
My mom nursed all 3 of her kids (me till 18 months when she weaned to get pregnant, #2 till about 3, #3 till about 2). She did introduce pureed food around 4 months. All of her 5 sisters nursed their babies for 1+ years. My maternal grandmother nursed all 8 of her kids for about a year each. It would have never occurred to me to do anything but nurse my babies.

DH's mom did not nurse any of her babies (she tried briefly with the first, but the doctor said it wasn't working and she was so relieved), and they've been mildly supportive. Both of his sisters and his SIL attempted to BF, but quit very very early due mostly to lack of knowledge, poor advice, and lack of support. I haven't had any really negative comments, but they haven't been super positive either. Throughout my first pregnancy they kept talking about "if BF doesn't work then...." and I kept saying "it will work."
post #97 of 99
My older sister was bf, but I wasn't. Mom still hasn't told me why, but maybe someday I'll get the nerve to ask. I was apparently a "colicky" baby and couldn't keep down anything they fed me. They tried everything but finally had to buy some kind of obscure, expensive goat's milk product two hours away. I grew up with (and still have) terrible eczema, and I am prone to many auto-immune diseases. I have digestive issues even though I eat healthfully. I hate to say it, but I suspect that if Mom had just bf me I would be a lot healthier today.
post #98 of 99
My mother breastfed myself and my four siblings for one year. I think that probably impacted my "decision" to breastfeed, I just remember knowing I would breastfeed, not deciding I would. I suppose if she didn't and had portrayed some negative view of it to me growing up that I may not have wanted to nurse. I nursed both my children to 19/20 months and I was a tiny bit less secure about that decision since my mother was pretty firm on being done before their memory really kicked in to make weaning more difficult.
post #99 of 99
I was nursed for 5 months before my mother got pregnant with my brother and weaned because she couldn't keep up with the demands of a full time job, a baby and a second pregnancy. No idea if I was weaned onto formula or straight onto table food. She nursed my brother for 7 months when he was weaned straight onto table food. My mother had nothing but challenges with my brother: my father was unemployed when he was born so she went back to working double shifts at 11 days post partum and my brother had horrific colic that lasted a solid 7 months. Everytime I have to pump at work I have to keep reminding myself that if she managed to make BFing work with my brother, there's no reason in the world I can't make it work too. She's not outwardly supportive though, I think because she's too afraid to sound pushy

MIL and FIL are a whole different story. I got many "see how long THAT lasts" comments from both of them while I was pregnant and now with DS being 3 months they're pushing solids : MIL also thinks she's the authority on BFing because SIL has a coworker who is BFing. The idea of nursing her children never once crossed her mind. Our relationship is openly volatile and I really couldn't give half a rat's behind what my inlaws think anymore (and I kind of enjoy antagonizing them )

So even though I do have family members who BFed or were BFed, I don't really have any support. DH has been clueless and even said some rather mean things, so he's no help. The only real BF support I have is my nursing relationship with DS
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