From the point of a view of a child...

[kblackstone444]

A child in my preschool class was recently circed. (Supposedly, the uroligists reccommended it because it was too tight. ) Anyways, here's a three year old's verson of the event...

"The doctors burned me." (Pointing to his penis.)

"Mommy bring me hospital. They hurt me."

and to his best friend, with a very sad tone...

"S, my penis gone."

[bandgeek]

That's *horrible*. Ugh and SO unnecessary.

[Yulia_R]

Have you tried to educate the mother prior the operation?

[perspective]

I know we dont promote circumcision, but if you had a chance, I hoped you let him know that his penis is not gone. Its sick, and quite scary to realize that the way people rationalize infant (or young child) circ could quite easily applied to doing almost anything. It explains foot binding, FGM, and a whole host of things outside our culture they we wondered why people would ever let happen.


The sad part is this boy's story is not rare, many young boys are forced by their parents to do this. And with loving and confused eyes these boys look up to their Mom and ask "why did you hurt me?" and they often respond with stuff like "Its ok, you penis is better now. We had to do it, we just had to."

So instead of growing up being against circ males who went through this violation, deeply believe that circumcision just HAS TO be done on their son. When you ask why they will say "because if we dont do it now, he will HAVE TO get it done later, and I dont want him to remember it.


Parents frame this stuff in a way that protects them, and in the process messes up that child for life.

The saddest part is this child has been violated twice. The first time when he was forced to be circumcised, the second when his parents took away his right to feel victimized, when they basically took away his only path to fully heal emotionally.

[LavenderMae]

[RJones1204]

That is beyond sad and terrible. I just assumed that parents who chose 3-4yrs ago to NOT circ would be educated about these things and that circ is almost never necessary. Some high and mighty white coat (doctor) probably scared them into thinking it was necessary. It is all just so sick to me:

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

: I should have listened to myself and not clicked the link. I am not blaming you for posting it OP it may very well find its way into a lurkers search and help them to not make a mistake but I am PMSing today and reading that didnt help.

[bandgeek]

Originally Posted by RJones1204

That is beyond sad and terrible. I just assumed that parents who chose 3-4yrs ago to NOT circ would be educated about these things and that circ is almost never necessary. Some high and mighty white coat (doctor) probably scared them into thinking it was necessary. It is all just so sick to me:

I suspect a very small percentage of non-circers are very educated about it...enough to be able to decide that a doctor is full of it. If you think about it...how many couples have one that is pro and one that is anti? When the anti gets their way and then 3 years later, a doctor tells them it should be done, the pro is going to be all for it and convince the anti it was best all along. Anti feels bad for making the "wrong" decision and falters in his/her resolve.

And then there are the people who can't afford it but when it comes up later as "medically necessary" and therefore fully covered, they would probably jump on it.

And then there are the people who are against RIC for whatever reason, but simply never came across the information about what is normal for an intact boy. Just look at how many MDC'ers come here freaked out because some doc told them their son might need circ'ed because of XYZ. It's a completely benign situation, but even someone who hangs out around CAC regularly can second-guess themselves.

Possibly even more important that educating parents on circ, and convincing them to leave their children intact, is to continue education. Parents need to know what is normal and what is easily treatable. And when doctors are just out to make a quick buck. :

[Theoretica]

Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon

A child in my preschool class was recently circed. (Supposedly, the uroligists reccommended it because it was too tight. ) Anyways, here's a three year old's verson of the event...

"The doctors burned me." (Pointing to his penis.)

"Mommy bring me hospital. They hurt me."

and to his best friend, with a very sad tone...

"S, my penis gone."

:

Oh. My. God.

I am so sorry for him!!! How traumatizing! It doesn't even sound like they had the decency (???) to explain the procedure to him!!!!



Why oh why is FGM seen as a horrific and backwards act of a society, but THIS is acceptable?!?!?!

[ChristaN]

I'm so sorry. I was just contemplating what a circumcision in toddlerhood/preschool age must do to a little boy's psyche.

I was reading the health brochure that the hospital I work at publishes and sends out to all of the local homes in our community. In it they profile a recent case of a two year old boy who was adopted from China. It discusses his surgery to repair a cleft palate that was done at our facility. Just non-chalantly they say that "while [child's name] was in surgery... Dr. [name] placed ear tubes... and Dr. [name] performed a circumcision," as if it was just a routine thing to do while this little guy was under anesthesia.

Even if they are too young to remember long-term the entire healing process, you have to wonder what being circumcised at this age does to a man long-term. Like your poor little preschool student, I can see there being some serious trauma without the ability to process it and understand what has happened.

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by Yulia_R

Have you tried to educate the mother prior the operation?

I did as much as I could without losing my job. I definately put the idea in her head to do research before it was done. The one good thing is, my two coworkers (they have no children, but plan on it in the future) are horrified by this and have decided not to circ their future sons.

Originally Posted by RJones1204

That is beyond sad and terrible. I just assumed that parents who chose 3-4yrs ago to NOT circ would be educated about these things and that circ is almost never necessary. Some high and mighty white coat (doctor) probably scared them into thinking it was necessary. It is all just so sick to me:

His Mother got three second opinions. I honestly believe she thought she was doing what was best for her son.

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

it may very well find its way into a lurkers search and help them to not make a mistake.

That's mostly why I posted it.

[KD's Momma]

I am physically nauseous right now!

[Cheshire]

My dad was circ'd when he was three and he remembers every bit of it - they did not use any kind of anesthetic, he was awake the whole time, he was held down and he remembers just screaming the whole time. He's only talked about it once with us and that was when we told my parents we were not circ'ing our son. They've been very supportive. :

When our son was 4 he came down with a nasty UTI. After many doctors' visits and many recommendations to circ I found a urologist that would work with us to clear up the infection. As this doc said, if you circ and the foreskin is not the cause of the infection you can't put the foreskin back on. At best he was neutral on circ - I'm sure he would have had no problem doing it if we wanted.

So, a couple of days after this doc visit when DS was taking a bath he looked at us and said "thanks mom and dad for not letting them cut of my penis." We explained that circumcision would just be removing his foreskin and not his whole penis but that it wasn't necessary to put him through the surgery (we covered a bit more about it's his body and his decision but didn't dwell on it - these are conversations to have over a lifetime with him, he knows he's the way he was made and there's a reason he has a foreskin). In his young mind his foreskin and his penis are one and the same.

I feel so bad for that little boy. Hugs to him.

[mama24-7]

Sus

[Nandi]

That is a heartbreaking story.

[MLA]

Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon

His Mother got three second opinions. I honestly believe she thought she was doing what was best for her son.

Okay, please don't flame me. I didn't circ my son. I couldn't bear the thought of it. BUT if I had three second opinions (meaning a total of four different docs, right?) saying that my son should be circumcised, I imagine I'd do it, too. Why do we assume all four of these doctors were wrong? And I'm asking without any snarky intent. I'm not all that educated about circing issues (just knew that it seemed ridiculously uneccesary and cruel to do to a baby boy and that it should be his decision, not mine), so maybe I'm missing something. It seems like maybe this poor little boy might have actually needed the surgery . . . ?

Don't get me wrong. I find it very sad.

[Momma Moo Martin]

That's awful.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by MLA

Okay, please don't flame me. I didn't circ my son. I couldn't bear the thought of it. BUT if I had three second opinions (meaning a total of four different docs, right?) saying that my son should be circumcised, I imagine I'd do it, too. Why do we assume all four of these doctors were wrong? And I'm asking without any snarky intent. I'm not all that educated about circing issues (just knew that it seemed ridiculously uneccesary and cruel to do to a baby boy and that it should be his decision, not mine), so maybe I'm missing something. It seems like maybe this poor little boy might have actually needed the surgery . . . ?

Don't get me wrong. I find it very sad.

I wouldn't. Chances are, all four of those doctors have had part of their penises whacked off, too. They perpetuate what they know.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by MLA

Okay, please don't flame me. I didn't circ my son. I couldn't bear the thought of it. BUT if I had three second opinions (meaning a total of four different docs, right?) saying that my son should be circumcised, I imagine I'd do it, too. Why do we assume all four of these doctors were wrong? And I'm asking without any snarky intent. I'm not all that educated about circing issues

I wouldn't necessarily assume they were wrong, but I wouldn't assume they were right, either. Many (most?) doctors have something in common with you - they're not very educated on this subject. They have little or no knowledge of how to care for an intact penis. Many people have come here when their doctor has recommended circumcision, only to find out that there are other, far less drastic, options (it's not uncommon for "do nothing" to be the best option, as there actually isn't anything wrong).

The doctors don't know. They give out a lot of dangerous advice and misinformation about circ and caring for intact penises. Unfortunately, people tend to assume that they must know what they're talking about, because...they're doctors.

It's very unlikely, statistically, that this boy really needed a circ...possible, but very unlikely...

[Fyrestorm]

Unless this poor baby had cancer, gangrene or frostbite....he did not need this surgery. He needed a doctor that had a clue about normal male anatomy.

Poor baby...how screwed up is his self image going to be?