Feeling disconnected from my dog

[Evelynmia'smom]

Hi...I'm looking for a little support with my changing feelings about my dog. I have a 9 month old baby and before she was born, my walter was the love.of.my.life....i adored this little dog (he's a schnauzer) he's really a very sweet, great dog. Anyway, now and since my lo was born, I don't feel the same way about him...it is heartbreaking to me. I am so sleep deprived and don't get alot of help from dh with my lo's sleep issues. So, everytime walter barks when she is asleep, i literally want to kill him. I hate feeling like this about him and getting so annoyed with him....I know he feels how much my feelings twds him have changed. I just feel like I don't have anything left in me after taking care of my high needs lo all day and all night. I don't reallty know how to reconnect with him...i know this sounds silly...i AM talking about a dog

[Longhairedbeauty]

I'm sorry. I think the fact that you acknowledge your changing feelings about him show how much you actually *do* care and love your dog, but are sleep-deprived and stressed with a new baby.


Could you try to do some things that would minimize the chance that you get annoyed by him?

For instance, the barking when baby sleeps- can they be separated in the house a good distance that baby won't hear? Or get a white noise machine for baby? Or a citronella bark collar for dog?

When baby is sleeping and you'd like to sleep as well, could you maybe snuggle with the dog in bed and have the dog sleep in bed with you? He will start to feel like he's getting some attention, and you'd be getting some sleep.

I don't know if any of these things might work. It sounds like you are (understandably!) sleep deprived and stressed and the dog adds to it, so figuring out practical solutions may help.

[greenmagick]

I was totally annoyed by my pets after having babies....it got much better! I think as long as you acknowledge it and work on not letting it show, you are doing great.

[KimL]

oh i feel for you. my son was awfully high needs as an infant and toddler and we had two wonderful middle aged dogs at the time. I know about the feeling of just being used-up emotionally. It's hard to find more "love and care" to give when you're just putting out all day and not getting any return. The good thing about this situation is that a dog is THERE for the RETURN... you just need to seek it out. I made a point of putting my in his bjorn and WALKING the dogs for nice hikes or jaunts around town every day. It was a way to bring peace and connection into my days and the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other is balancing for both you and the baby and the dog. I also enjoyed watching the dogs deal with the baby situation. Observing their take on it. When my son would cry all night, every night I would nurse and hold him and watch my dog leaning against the wall panting... stressed out right there with me. THey feel what you feel so youre really in it together! Good luck.