My father spanked my niece

[dollysods]

1

[sapphire_chan]

I bet your parents did hit you when you were too young to remember.

Definitely call your sister up and make sure she knows about it since your mom might not think it's important enough to mention.

And you might have to trade off babysitting with your sister until the kids are old enough to report back to you.

[dulce de leche]

Wow. I'd be really upset, too. I agree with everything Sapphire Chan said. Hugs to your little neice and you!

[ians_mommy]

I wouldn't leave my kids alone with them. Like another poster recommended, you may have to trade-off babysitting with your sis

[heartmama]

I would also guess your parents spanked you as toddlers--there are many spankers who think it's something you only do when a child is "too young to be reasoned with", so by the time the child is 3 or 4 the parents prefers to explain and use other punishments. You wouldn't remember it if you were as young as your niece, kwim?

Or maybe it's just something your dad picked up in old age--although I tend to think it's rare for a person to manage to never spank their own children, then suddenly think it's a good idea at the doting grandparent stage. It usually works in reverse...

I would just state calmly and clearly that you do not spank, nobody is permitted to spank your child, and if your parents are frustrated with a behavior, they should come get you.

I

[phathui5]

Have you talked to your sister yet?

[onyxravnos]

i think what you said was not to harsh. My children would not spend time with anyone that may spank my dc. def talk to your sister

[4inMyHeart3inArms]

talk to your sister. If I were your sister I would want to know. I don't know f I could feel comfortable leaving my child with them alone after that. What a shame

[dollysods]

1

[PDeverit]

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.


Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on "spanking".

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,

Center For Effective Discipline,

PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,

Churches' Network For Non-Violence,

Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,

Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,

Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,

United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

[2cutiekitties]

Originally Posted by dollysods

My sis and I were not spanked when we were young, though often yelled at if we got really out of hand, so it never occured to me that my parents might spank their grandchildren.

I also thought that I wasnt spanked. Kind of actually proud that they at least did that right. HA! Last year I found out I was spanked, was just too little to remember it. My mother tried to dodge it, but she is a crappy liar/dodger.

I am 36, btw. And no clue if she ever swatted my ds.

[ouesi]

DH and I were both spanked, and come from less than stellar backgrounds. We were and are adamant about not spanking - no physical punishment at all. DH's aunt lives quite close to us, and when the twins came she thought she would be first in line to babysit. Until we had the following conversation:

Me: We will not spank our kids.
Aunt: Well if I can't spank the children, I won't babysit.
Me: Okay, you won't babysit.
Aunt: I can't babysit if I can't spank them when they need it.
Me: Okay, you won't babysit.
Aunt: I have to be able to discipline them as I see fit if they are in my care.
Me: Okay, they won't be in your care.
Didn't seem that complicated to me *sigh*

Kiddos are 6, and to date not one family member has ever had them in their care. I have one friend who I trust, and she's my go to gal when there's an emergency. Otherwise, they're with me or DH. Sad yes, but worth it to do what's right for my kiddos.

If family members can't respect your wishes as a parent, they don't get to be with the kids. Period.