critique my response pls

[ElliesMomma]

we were at the minor league baseball game, and i took DD to the restroom. nearby was a "pitching tent" where kids line up to pay a dollar to throw a baseball as hard as they can imitating a pitcher. while walking out of the restroom and past the men's room door and a brick wall in between, a seven year old (approx.) boy did his own "pitching tent" using a large stone and the brick wall. this thing went really fast and hard and it was only about a few feet ahead of us -- at the level of my DD's head. there were other people around, and everyone kind of gasped. no body said anything however. and the kid's parent(s) were not around. so i looked right at the kid, and he looked shocked and guilty, and started sulking backwards. i felt i needed to say something, and what i said was, "please do not throw rocks. you almost hit her head." i then had to wait for my husband to finish his business, and i was still looking around for the kid's parent(s) to come out too. the kid did not pick up any more rocks, and he continued to look very guilty and walk further and further back.

eventually my husband came back, and as i was telling him what happened, the kid's mom came out too and by the time i looked up they were already on their way away, so i didn't have a chance to tell her too.

do you think i should have made it a point to tell the mom, or was my comment to the kid sufficient? i sure hope he gets the point that you just don't throw rocks, especially like that, in a public place!!! part of me wishes i had a chance to tell the mom what happened so she could (i would hope) reinforce that, b/c he was certainly old enough to know better (i would think) and yet i'm sure just "not thinking" when he did it. but still, i shudder to think of my DD or some other kid taking a rock to the head (yikes!)

what do you all think??

[mamalisa]

I think it's fine sometimes just to tell the kid to stop in a safety situation. I could see any of the 7-8 year old boys I know doing something like that and not realizing that it's a bad idea to throw rocks in a crowded place. Little boys are like that. I wouldn't have waited for the mom unless the kid told me to go to hell or something

[mama_mojo]

I think you handled it well, and I think the mom did not need to know. Kids that age still do not have great impulse control, nor do they always evaluate the appropriateness of a situation. They DO know better, but that does not mean they are always accessing that knowledge.

[flower01]

I was in a similar situation recently. I said something to the offending kid hoping he would get it and maybe take it more seriously since it wasn't just a parent yelling at him. I didn't bother telling the parents...because they weren't around and obviously not caring what their kid did anyway, plus I often fear that their response will be harsher than necessary (either directed at me or their child) and I don't want any part in that. If the child continued the dangerous behavior I would have said something to the parent, but otherwise, I don't see the point.

[Daphneduck]

I think that you handled it really well. Something needed to be said/done and what you said was very appropriate. If the boy throwing rocks were my son, I would hope that a stranger would handle it that well. It sounds as if you handled the situation as gently as possible.

[fromtheheart]

Sounds like you did the right thing

I think you handled it perfectly. It sound like he realized it was a bad idea right after it happened and that's the point of guidance, right? No point in getting him "in trouble". He already learned the lesson- don't throw rocks where someone can be hit.

[LynnS6]

I think you did fine. He didn't repeat the behavior, and he looked sufficiently guilty about what he did.

7-8 year olds aren't known for their powers of forethought. I'm sure he was just pretending because he didn't have the $1 to spend on the pitching tent.

[Music-mommy]

I think it was the right thing to tell him, but not the parents. At times when a parent is accosted by another they either get defensive or embarrassed their child did such a thing, then feel the need to make a spectacle out "disciplining" their child. I remember when I was 6 or so, my mom sent me to the store with the dog to get milk, the dog wasn't doing what I wanted and I kicked her out of frustration. A man stopped his car and said to me "hey, you should NEVER kick a dog".

I still remember that to this day. I feel like had he then followed me home and told my mom it would have actually been less effective than simply having him say that to me. It shocked me and I never did it again.

[ElliesMomma]

Originally Posted by Music-mommy

I think it was the right thing to tell him, but not the parents. At times when a parent is accosted by another they either get defensive or embarrassed their child did such a thing, then feel the need to make a spectacle out "disciplining" their child. I remember when I was 6 or so, my mom sent me to the store with the dog to get milk, the dog wasn't doing what I wanted and I kicked her out of frustration. A man stopped his car and said to me "hey, you should NEVER kick a dog".

I still remember that to this day. I feel like had he then followed me home and told my mom it would have actually been less effective than simply having him say that to me. It shocked me and I never did it again.

thanks for sharing this perspective. that's what i was hoping to hear! like, maybe the kid realized just how close he came to seriously hurting someone and perhaps realized the implications of that. like, if it *had* hit someone, he would have been in serious trouble, and that he was really, really lucky that the rock didn't hit one of us.

frankly, i'm still thanking god that the rock not only missed my daughter's head but also my belly as both were about the level it came in on, and i'm six months pregnant.

all's well that ends well.