|It is a dangerous thing for kids to be isolated at home if they parent they are being cared for has untreated mental health problems. Clearly the therapist has seen the end product of that. I have too and it is unfortunate.
I don't see anywhere in the original post that the therapist said "I have lots of patients who were homeschooled BY PARENTS WITH SOCIAL ANXIETIES who now have severe social problems". Nowhere.
The therapist (reportedly) said "I have lots of patients WHO WERE HOMESCHOOLED who have severe social problems."
Nothing about their parents.
Your argument is entirely based on the idea that parents with social anxieties maybe be careful about the idea of homeschooling.
But what this thread is reacting to is DIFFERENT. What we hear the therapist saying is DIFFERENT. She was saying that homeschooling causes severe social problems. Period. Yes, period lol... She didn't say a THING about the role of parents' own social problems.
Why are we reacting so strongly to this? Because this happens ALL THE TIME and we are just SICK of it, and so annoyed by it. And it's even WORSE when someone in a position of authority, who we would expect to be intelligent, comes out with this garbage.
And yes, it is garbage.
Yes, there will be kids who are harmed by the way they are homeschooled. That does not mean that "be careful!!" is a necessary warning for ALL potential homeschoolers. Because the implication is that "unless you guard against all these potential problems, you will harm your child. The default when homeschooling is harm, and you have to be careful not to let that happen."
In fact, the default in homeschooling is "just fine"... the situations that cause problems are outside the norm.
Yes, parents with social problems themselves are probably the ones that do indeed need to "be careful". That's what you're talking about. That's not what the REST of us are talking about. We're talking about the apparent GENERALIZATION that homeschooling IN AND OF ITSELF causes severe social problems, REGARDLESS of the parents' mental health.
|I am comfortable with acknowledging the reality that not all people should homeschool and that it doesn't always work out. "Be careful" is a basic place where we should all start.
Replace "homeschool" with "public school" and I'll agree with you. While what you're saying is basically true, it carries a negative bias. The implication (which I know you didn't really intend, but it's there) is that if you're not homeschooling, you DON'T have to be careful. It's ONLY if you're homeschooling that this carefulness is necessary.
Whether homeschooling or sending our kids to public school, whether we as parents have our own mental issues or not, we ALL have to 'be careful' about our children's lives. A child of a parent with social issues is not NECESSARILY going to be better off in a public school, you need to 'be careful' there as well.
Making a default statement like "oh, you're homeschooling? you need to be careful" carries with it the implication that homeschooling is DANGEROUS unless done 'right', whereas public school is perfectly safe. It's true, sure, but it's not the WHOLE truth. The whole truth is that you have to 'be careful' about public school as well, and just the half-truth implies negative aspects to homeschooling.
There are pros and cons to homeschooling and to public schooling, and every parent should weigh them carefully when deciding what's right for their family. A warning like what this therapist reputedly said is not a factual and unbiased statement of a legitimate 'con' when deciding about homeschooling. If it was followed up by the parallel 'cons' of public schooling so they could be compared and contrasted, well THEN you'd have a good start for a discussion.
What it comes down to is that you would expect that a qualified professional therapist would realize that she's only going to see the "sick" people, and they will come from all walks of life. She should realize that the 98% (probably) of her patients were not homeschooled and they have problems too -- and that wherever their problems stem from, you shouldn't overgeneralize, because different people handle things differently. Just because a particular experience was negative for one of your patients doesn't mean you need to warn everyone else about it.
To the OP -- you might see if your DH will read "Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers". It is NOT a homeschooling book. It IS about social development in children and how excessive peer-orientation is perpetuated by the modern school system, and about the problems that causes in a child's socialization. I think it gives fleeting mention just once to homeschooling as a way that some families choose to deal with it, but all the rest is about how to ensure that your kid survives public school with his sense of self and balance of peer-vs-parent-orientation intact. Since it's not pro-homeschooling, he might read it, and it might help him realize that school is not ipso facto by default a better social experience for children, and that it carries its own set of problems that you have to "be careful" about.