I'm back

[gonnabeamom]

I miscarried just a few weeks in, after sharing our good news with family and friends.

I'm sad, of course, spent Wednesday Thursday and Friday sitting on the couch crying whenever I felt like it, and working on the baby sweater I'd started.

Today I am more optimistic that I'll get pregnant again.

I'd rather we all be pregnant together, but I'm honored to have you all to share my journey with.

[AdinaL]

Oh crap. I was hoping that wasn't what you were posting about. I am so very sorry honey.
I am happy to have you around for the journey through ttc, but I would really rather you weren't here!

Let me know if you need anything. Much to you and your family.

[Astrid]

Im so sorry.
I wish I could be there to actually give you a hug, it all feels so impersonal on the computer.
I'll be thinking of you.

[Nemmer]

gonnabeamom~
I'm so sorry for your loss!

[PattyCakes]

I'm so very sorry gonnabeamom. I'm thinking of you.

[blessed2bamommie]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....I'm *so sorry, gonnabe! I guess I might hang out here myself.... I have *totally been there. I pray for the Lord's comfort for your heart. Wow. Its such as devastating experience. I'm coming up on the yr anniversary of losing Jordan. I'm *so sorry! How far were you sweetie? I lost ya when you graduated.

[gonnabeamom]

Thanks to all for the sympathy and kindness.

I was just 7 weeks along when I lost what according to the gynecologist was most likely a non-normal pregnancy. So as sorry as I am to not be pregnant I have to honor the fact that my body knew what to do.

The gynecologist also said it's okay to start trying again right away, and no reason to think I should have trouble getting pregnant again or keeping the next one.

I'll probably take some time off of charting and sex-on-a-schedule and see what happens, but if we don't get lucky, I suspect I'll be back to do everything I was doing before.

The biggest change is that now many friends and family know we are trying, and that is kind of a relief since I don't have to worry about slipping up and telling someone.

[mama2m&m]

just wanted to send a hug and extend my sypmathies. I had a loss in December and it's devastating. Hope we're both pg again soon. :

[blessed2bamommie]

One more week than I was with Jordan. So, you're jumping back on the horse? Lemme tell ya, I like passionate sex *much better! I have my last menstrual period date, since I just quit charting this cycle, I would make sure you had that. I don't want to get sucked back into charting; but, I thought tcoyf mentioned that its good to know you O date too, b/c it can save your from interventions like induction.... since they haven't figured out that all women don't O on day 14? right? Shoot! Maybe the 3 cycles of charts I already have will give them a clue....

I hadn't plan to stop tta now, so some family and friends are in the dark with us. I told *everyone last time, I was *so excited that I am just trying to keep it quiet still. One time I said they'll figure it out! :

I'm sorry, Denise. I'm beliving God for Aaron, so far I haven't gotten another name. I think that's the one, in 2004!

Wow, that frozen fruit drink was good.. Again! No sugar either! Guiltless.

[pugmadmama]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[proudmamanow]

I`m so very sorry for your loss, gonnabemom...

[Missgrl]

{{{{hugs}}}}} Sorry to both of you for your recent losses! Wishing you good luck when you ttc again.

[chrissy]

Oh, I am so sorry to hear this gonnabeamom.

[kelly]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

Kelly

[gonnabeamom]

Thanks to all of you for being so sweet.

I am generally doing better than I expected at this point. Chaos on other fronts doesn't hurt, in that it's very distracting.

I got to babysit this morning, and it made my week. I got to actually wear a babybjorn with a baby in it! I found myself feeling really ready to do this, even happy to change a diaper. Somehow the kids I get to play with, friends kids make me really happy.

Strangers kids are harder sometimes. I was out at lunch a few days ago and a women was having lunch with a friend and had her baby with her, and I kept thinking why can't that be me?

[blessed2bamommie]

I'm glad to know you're doing better, gonnabe. I was *not doing that well, so soon after; but, everyone is different. Sometimes there are triggers, too. How sweet, that you were able to wear a baby. Things mamas take for granted we long to do. I want to nurse too. *sigh* I'm more embracing of children now, than before. I *totally* understand about the wanting the mama to be you...I feel that way about friends kids *and strangers at times. I had a wierd moment where I was changing a baby in the nursery, and I think I was so engrossed in him that I had to snap back to reality that I wasn't playing with my child on the changing table.

[gonnabeamom]

Hey Gals,

I was doing pretty well for awhile there and feeling like I had my feet under me, and suddenly I'm crying alot again. Sometimes it's the obvious but stupid like crying over a really tacky baby blue "it's a boy" onsie that I would never buy in a million years. Sometimes it seems for no reason at all.

I'm also finding hanging out in limbo is harder than I thought. It's totally ironic because for years whenever a Doctor asked me for the date of my LMP, I thought "you've got to be joking people actually keep track?" I've no idea when to expect my period, and I've been having my PMS symptoms on and off for almost two weeks. Did anyone else get slammed around by their hormones afterward.

I had no idea what you gals with longs cycles go through

[pugmadmama]

The hormones are just the pits, aren't they? It's just not fair that on top of the feelings associated with a miscarriage, you have to deal with homones that are in such flux. Unfortunatly, I think is a normal part of the experience.

I hope so much that you are feeling better soon. Cry when you need to cry and keep posting here!