I clearly sense from your post, that your gut is screaming at you. Your mama-sense is telling you your kid isn't safe there...I'm just so totally glad you're getting out of there.
If you think something happened to you...something happened. Maybe someday you'll figure out the who/what/where/when's of it all...but for now, I think it's safe to assume that you were victimized as a child...and to be honest with you, with the level of creepiness you describe (honey, it's so creepy and NOT normal) I would think that the person who did this to you is in the house still.
s I'm just so sorry. It's not right, for a person to have to sift through the vague, troubling disturbances from a dark and repressive childhood and wonder what it was that happened to you and who did it. I've been there and it just sucks.
My mother was a lot like you described your mom to be when I was growing up....just, unbelievably repressive and completely controlling of ALL aspects of our lives..even the things that just weren't her damn business..I remember feeling like I didn't own anything...not even my own private moments on the toilet, or my own private parts. I know how hard it is to be an adult child of a parent like that..I think the only thing harder than trying to have a relationship with this person as an adult would be to LIVE with this person as an adult.
Get out, don't go back...these people are bad news and my honest opinion is that there is something wrong with them. This isn't normal, there is no reason why your mother should be so fixated on your body...and it is not right that she would sexualize you like that "Don't walk around like that in front of my husband...your nipples are showing" - a "normal" overbearing mother would wait until you're in the kitchen alone and then says "Dear, don't you think you should put on a bra and a sensible shirt that covers you!" - that's what a normal overbearing mother says...but what she said, was said as if she was talking to some woman who came into the house "acting sexy" in front of her husband/your father. And, then your dad: "Your nipples are hard as rocks!" - something is wrong here, something is WRONG here! NO!
It's just weirding me out that your mom would say that in front of your dad at that then he would say what he did and she wouldn't say anything...I'm just, I'm really confused by the dynamics..it's not right. Something is off honey.
I'm really sorry...I'm just really sorry.