Getting a puppy and I'm nervous UPDATE first post

[Krisis]

DH and I had a huuuuuuuge fight last night and I'm not feeling like our marriage is that stable anymore. I don't want to bring an animal into our home if there's a chance I may not be able to care for him, and if we separate there's no way I could. So I emailed the guy and told him to find the puppy a new home. I am sooo sad I think my heart might shrivel up and die, but I think and hope it was the right decision.

Still, I'm bummed.

Hi...I've been lurking in this forum and reading lots of the archives today. Our puppy is coming home with us next Monday and I'm suddenly very, very nervous and re-thinking this whole thing. I want a puppy so badly but now I'm wondering if maybe I'm just a cat person and should let the puppy go home with another family. Am I going to be able to juggle a 16 month old and a puppy? Am I going to die?

The puppy is a lab/German shepherd cross, which is basically my dream dog because I've had experience with labs and have always wanted a GSD. But the last time I had a lab was when I was 14. Rags was the best dog EVER - she was a black lab reject from the Seeing Eye program and seriously, just a wonderful animal. Will I be able to train this new puppy to be as amazing as Rags was?

I plan on crate training him and have read Ian Dunbar's Before and After puppy books but I think that made things worse. I feel like I'm going to screw this up and it'll ruin me and the dog for life.

[Carlin]

The fact that you're thinking about it probably means you'll be fine.

[greenmagick]

I love Dunbars advice, but it does tend to be overwhelming. I *think* it is written as an extreme trying to get people to do more....you know you tell someone the dog needs 2 hours of walks and they immediately half it thinking its good enough....I am thinking Dunbar kind of doubles the minimum assuming people wont do the full amount (but doing the full amount is that much better)

Hope this made some sense, I am heading off to bed.

Also, do be prepared as this is not going to be your past dog....and a dog that was going to be a service dog has a lot of training etc that went into that so you wont get that from a puppy....you may get close to that in the future but it wiill depend on pup and you

[gumby74]

This post brought me back to the time when I adopted my dogs. I had wanted dogs for a long time and after moved into our first house I was extremely eager and excited to finally be able to get the dogs I had dreampt about. After we met the dogs I was even more excited and then the day came to actually take them home and I started to question everything! A huge part of it for me was that I had always had cats as an adult and cats were easy to take care of. I could leave for a weekend and not have to worry about them too much. Getting dogs in my mind also meant a loss of freedom and more expenses. I am the kind of person who has to do something completely, otherwise I don't start something. I guess I was afraid this was going to be a huge project I wouldn't be able to follow through on. In any case, I remember the ride home that day with my two little puppies in their kennels in the backseat as it was downpouring outside. My male decided to vomit all over the kennel and as I calmly was able to remove him and clean up the mess while getting soaked....I somehow knew all would be ok in the end. Quickly I fell in love with those two and enrolled myself with the dogs in puppy classess. I learned what they needed most was love and follow through and everything else would fall into place. Six years later, the puppies I almost choose not to get are lying next to me and I am thankful....

Sorry for the long winded post. I really think that you will do great and during the times it is frustrating, just remember that there are people out there to help and the rewards of a faithful companion will far outweigh any of the temporary frustrations that come with training a dog! Best wishes!

[DoomaYula]

Your feelings sound completely reasonable to me.

I just got my first puppy on Saturday. (I've always had older dogs.) My experience has been positive so far, but I was shocked at how much she wants to CHEW everything! I have about seven zillion chew toys now. I also didn't realize that puppies get up so much during the night. Fun times!

I also caution you not to compare to your last dog. Every dog is different!

[beanma]

Try out Brian Kilcommons and Sarah Wilson's My Smart Puppy book and DVD. I do agree with the things I've read of Ian Dunbar's but I also agree that he tends to come across like, "you can ruin your puppy if you don't follow this advice and do everything the RIGHT way", which is a little heavy handed and panic inducing! Kilcommons/Wilson are much more practical and reassuring. It's a good book!

I don't know if you can fairly compare your old beloved Rags to the new puppy. I think that's dangerous territory. It sounds like some professionals did some extensive training with Rags. I think that's going to be apples and oranges. This is a different dog.

Do be prepared to give your new puppy a whole lot of exercise. Lab puppies in particular need a lot of exercise. Your little person is young enough that exercise may actually be easier. You can just plop him in the jogging stroller and take him and the pup out for a spin. You get into trickier territory when the kid insists on walking, but can't keep up with the pace and length the dog needs to go.

You can train in just little bits and pieces. Puppies don't need a 30 minute training session. They do better with lots of 1 or 2 minute ones. Just keep some treats in your pocket and you'll be good to go as far as seizing the moment when it happens.

Puppies do need to get up at night to go pee, etc. It can be a bit of sleep deprivation for the first month or so, but it's short lived. Puppies usually potty train much faster than little humans, so keep that in mind.

I think you can probably do it. Personally, I do have to say, with MY particular kids and MY particular amount of patience I could not have done a 16mo and a puppy, but my kids were very high needs, esp dd1, and really I never would have considered it. The fact that you have not only considered it, but put the wheels in motion is a good sign that you will be able to handle it just fine. There are many moms of kids and dogs on here who say it's no big deal at all.

Best of luck!

[Sailor]

Well, not to scare you, lol, but a lab/GSD cross - that is going to be a high energy dog, possibly with a lot of prey drive. So, the dog will need a lot of exercise and training.

However, it's totally doable. I see a lot of people doing it.

I have a GSD, but no kids. He's 3 now, and I have to say, I have no idea how families with kids deal with puppies. I mean, my dog is SUPER high energy, and he's very intelligent. Which means he gets bored, and needs challenges. So, the first year and half required A LOT of my time. Now - he's perfect. But, that first year ... honestly, I think taking care of a child is easier.

But, don't let this deter you. I'm telling you this not to be negative, but because you're thinking about the time commitment. So, just be prepared. And, again, MANY families do this - so, I'm sure you'll handle it fine.

Just remember the cardinal rule - a good dog is a tired dog. If you can get your dog enough exercise (and that can just be you sitting in a chair, and throwing the tennis ball for him for an hour, however many times a day he needs it), then this will go a long way in helping you out. Most of the problems with which dog owners come to me can be resolved by more exercise.

So, exercise will be your friend.

[Krisis]

Oh I know new puppy is going to be totally different than Rags, I just hope that someday, with a lot of work obviously, I can train him to at least sit/stay/come/down/heel consistently I guess I'm just scared because I've never taken care of a dog "on my own" before - I'll have DH to help out a little, but you know, when I was a kid it was my mom taking care of all the pets! Now I'm the mom!

I plan on spending lots of time at the park with him after he's vaxed so he gets exposure to other people, plus exercise. Heaven knows I need exercise too so we'll be going on looots of walks!

I just don't want to fail at owning a dog, I guess. I'm really nervous about not being able to handle everything and completely shutting down. The puppy's "dad" did say he would take any puppy back if it didn't work out, but I don't want to be the one that doesn't work out, you know? :

[greenmagick]

I have Your Smart Puppy and reall like it, but I love Family Dog Training by Patricia McConnell....

[Sailor]

You'll be fine. I grew up with GSD's and Dobes, but didn't really have my OWN dog until I moved from home, and was on my own.

I was totally nervous. Excited, but also worried about everything. I was responsible, solely, for training, health, food, etc., for another live animal. That's scary for everyone, I think.

I recommend this fantastic book by Suzanne Clothier - "And Bones Would Rain From the Sky: Deepening Our Relationship with Dogs." Some people think I'm kooky when I say this, but that book really helped to establish a mutual, healthy, and trusting relationship with my dog. I'm alpha in the relationship, don't get me wrong - but the book really helped me to understand dogs, how they communicate, their nuances, how a solid relationship can be built, etc.

Roark is my best friend - seriously. There's no one who will adore me like he does, lol. I mean, even my partner doesn't burst with joy each time I come back into the room. Talk about an ego boost.

Really, after the first year and a half, which was rather a lot of work ... things became much more fun. I love figuring out what else I could train Roark to do. I trained him to pick up my laundry. I just drop dirty clothes on the floor, and he takes them and puts them in the hamper near the washing machine. Very convenient.

So, training, once you get the basics down, can be a lot of fun. I swear dogs can be trained to do anything. Once you figure out how their brains work - the sky is the limit.

[gingerstar]

You've gotten some great advice here, and I bet you are feeling better. I just wanted to chime in that you should find a puppy kindergarten training class to get him into asap - we asked our vet for a reference - many will allow puppies as long as they have had their beginning vax's, rather than waiting 'til fully vaxed. You really want to do as much as possible with your pup within the socialization window, which closes around 12/14 weeks (I've heard both).
And don't forget to post pics for us!

[phatchristy]

I will be the voice of dissent. Do listen to your inner intuition. And, I'm not telling you not to get the dog, but don't let everyone else talk you into it either.

At this point in my life I can say that I'm most definitely a cat person here. A puppy is a ton of work, and there is no way I could devote the time that a puppy needed. But, hey, you only know your situation. If you have a husband who will consistently take on the puppy duties and you honestly have the time to devote to a puppy and fully realize how much work it is, then go for it.

If I really wanted a dog I would definitely adopt a well rounded adult. These days, with a busy family life, I really don't want any added stress. To me puppy = stress. And, I grew up with lab mixes. A lab is a puppy for 2-3 years. Our lab mix chewed up practically everything. He needed at least a full hour of hard exercise every day just to be sane and non-hyper. Instead of a crate my parents put him in our mud room. Of course, until he chewed out the corner of a plaster wall (ACK).

I get a lot of enjoyment out of my cats, they don't stress me out at all because they're practically no work. And, my older kids now even participate in feeding them. So, one less thing for me to think about too! The cats add to my life so much, they're my alarm clocks in the morning and my pillow pals at night. The provide so much entertainment, companionship and laughter during the day. I've got really great cats though, adopted as adults and I pre-screened their personalities to make sure we'd be an ideal match.

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

It's doable. Especially if you are well aware of how much work a puppy can be. For myself though, knowing what my kids were like at 16 months, I would wait another year or so before bringing a puppy into my home.

[Krisis]

The problem is my intuition keeps going back and forth

I'm leaning more towards yes, and definitely starting puppy kindergarten asap. I really want it to work out, and I know it's going to be a buttload of hard work and that's a little intimidating. I'm trying not to go into this with the thought "well, if I fail it's okay," but it is nice to know that the current owner will take the dog back if for some reason it just doesn't work.

Anyway Christy I know what you mean about wonderful kitty companions. My cat Bamboo is the bestest cat I've ever met. Sleeps with me every night, thinks the world revolves around me, but he can also be independent which is nice. He learned a new trick where if he wants me to hold him and I'm standing up, he'll come sit right in front of me and jump straight up in the air for me to catch him. Oh I love that cat.

[avakitty]

Personally i wouldnt do it...if I had a baby. We got a puppy 2 months ago and we have 2 kids,youngest is 6 and he has been jealous of the puppy as it has taken me 'away' from him somewhat. I'm the primary dog caregiver, i feed, bathe, excercise and take out to potty every hour or so. It's ALOT of work and i have a small breed dog. No way could i have handled a large puppy/dog. But it can get easier as it has for us but the first month was pretty hard and stressful. I couldnt ever relax as i had to think about the puppy all the time to try and housebreak him, which we are still working on. If im on top of it there are no accidents, but if im distracted by a kid things happen..
But i sure wouldnt change it now but I think it was the right dog for us. We 'tried out' a aussie a couple yrs ago and had to return him as he just needed way more attention/excercise then we could provide.

Good luck!

[Krisis]

[QUOTE=Krisis;13826177]DH and I had a huuuuuuuge fight last night and I'm not feeling like our marriage is that stable anymore. I don't want to bring an animal into our home if there's a chance I may not be able to care for him, and if we separate there's no way I could. So I emailed the guy and told him to find the puppy a new home. I am sooo sad I think my heart might shrivel up and die, but I think and hope it was the right decision.

Still, I'm bummed.

Waah I emailed the guy to tell him and he emailed me back to tell me what a wonderful dog I just gave up. I know it's for the best but my heart hurts so much.

[gingerstar]

Hope things improve for you soon.

[Ola_]

I think you've made the right decision. Having dogs growing up is nothing like having one on your own - I learned that the hard way! I was in no way prepared for getting Chaos. Fortunately I was still in University then, so although BF wasn't home much my schedule was fairly flexible and I had plenty of time to devote to her. Still it was really stressful.

For those high energy/mouthy breeds and a 16 month old, I personally wouldn't take that on. If you were 100% for it then you could make it work, it wouldn't be easy though. But if you have doubts then it's a good idea to wait until you're ready. That must have been a very tough decision to make though.

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by Ola_

I think you've made the right decision. Having dogs growing up is nothing like having one on your own - I learned that the hard way! I was in no way prepared for getting Chaos. Fortunately I was still in University then, so although BF wasn't home much my schedule was fairly flexible and I had plenty of time to devote to her. Still it was really stressful.

For those high energy/mouthy breeds and a 16 month old, I personally wouldn't take that on. If you were 100% for it then you could make it work, it wouldn't be easy though. But if you have doubts then it's a good idea to wait until you're ready. That must have been a very tough decision to make though.

So sorry that it didn't work out, It sounds like you made the right decision. If you're concerned especially about the stability of your home then DEFINITELY you need to put your energy into your marriage and your family first. Puppies can be such an energy drain, and can definitely add chaos.

And, there is absolutely NO RUSH. I can tell you right now that if a year or two passes and you find that you are then absolutely ready for a dog that you will most definitely be able to find a dog that needs a home! Don't let the owner of the dog put pressure on you to take the puppy! He probably just wants them to be gone! It's VERY difficult right now to find homes for pets, I've had friends who have even been selling pedigreed animals for half of usual because there has been dramatically little interest with the economy as it is.