Why am I starting to freak out???

[haren.13]

I'm 34+3 with baby number 2, and planning a homebirth. I've been confident in this decision since before I was even pregnant, have total confidence in myself, DH, and my midwife. I know all the reasons that homebirth is good and hospital birth is complicated. But, all of a sudden (like just now) I am freaking out a little! I'm literally sitting here crying thinking about the "what ifs". I even know that for most true emergency situations, I would be no better off in a hospital...and I have no reason to think that anything will go wrong (totally normal pregnancy both times, normal and quick unmedicated birth with DD). The thought that keeps going through my head is, "what if something happens to me and I leave DH and Maya without a wife/mommy?". Tell me it's just the pregnancy hormones (though I've not been overly emotional to this point...). I'm holding my sleeping little angel right now and bawling...

[littlebb]

It sounds like you've gotten into your own head and can't get out. It's easy to start to freak out and focus on the 'what ifs'. You've got to find a way to get out of that cycle! Pretty soon you'll have yourself psyched up that it's all going to come to fruition. Have trust in yourself and your LO - this is what you're designed to do! You need some distraction to get your mind away from it for awhile (read a book, watch a movie, lunch with a friend, window shop, do something), then you need to refocus. You need to put the positive back in your mind - visualizing the perfect birth, seeing yourself going through labor, pushing, beautiful delivery. Imagine the details. See it, feel it. Talk about your perfect birth a lot - talking about something plants things into your subconscious.

Easier said than done, I'm sure, but I'm a huge believer in mind control.

[kcparker]

It's pregnancy hormones, but also, I think that birth is a very cosmic event, and we are on that edge where life and death both live when we are giving birth. I don't think it's irrational or odd that you are coming up against some of those feelings; you are about to experience a very heavy event in a month or so, and it's good not to be cavalier about it.

Read some positive birth stories. I love Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for that purpose.

If you are religious/spiritual, you can pray or meditate on turning the outcome over to God/the Universe and let it go that way.

Or, you can go the opposite way, imagine the worst DOES happen, and think about what you would do to prepare. Write your children and DH a letter with final thoughts, make a memory book, finalize a will if you don't have one, start a college savings account for the new baby, whatever you think still needs doing. Then you can put it out of your mind, knowing that you are ready.

[threadbey]

Maybe try to let it go for now and if it turns out when labor hits that you feel unsafe at home, there's nothing to stop you going to the hospital, is there? I had a few doubts with DS (and still have a few) but once labor started I was not afraid and the idea of going anywhere seemed completely outlandish.

[Jilian]

It helps me to go over all of the possible emergency scenarios and talk to my MW about how they would be handled. I'm a planner, so having a plan for every possible situation makes me feel safe. Like a pp said, there is nothing stopping you from going to a hospital so if labor starts and you really feel like you need to go to the hospital then listen to your instincts and go. I got nervous around 34ish weeks with DS2 but it went away. When labor started I was not nervous at all and his birth went really well.