Temper tantrums - 14 MO

[sabgau]

DS is 14 MO and has terrible temper tantrums the last few weeks, he will throw himself backward on the floor and start crying or hitting the first thing he sees like the table or the floor, this usually ahppens when he doesnt get waht he wants, I really want to calm him down and do something to stop him

Any ideas?

[dulce de leche]

This was my blog post on tantrums. I've gotten great advice here from other moms. I hope that some of the ideas are helpful for you guys. http://dulcefamily.blogspot.com/2009...of-part-i.html

[boigrrrlwonder]

Even though as the parent it may be uncomfortable to witness a tantrum, I think it's really important to focus on supporting our children through tantrums rather than trying to stop them. I think that when children have tantrums, they have lost control due to very powerful feelings. I think it's important to validate those feelings and to honor them by staying near the child as he works through the tantrum but otherwise doing nothing. Some parents find it helpful to validate the child's feelings, but now that I have a verbal toddler, she tells me that she prefers me to be silent. Sometimes I intuit that it would be good to pick her up. If she resists, I let her stay on the floor, but sometimes that will help bring the tantrum to a close. But I think it is essential to be okay with the tantrum continuing. I find that I'm the most uncomfortable with a tantrum in public, so I find it the easiest to be comfortable allowing the tantrum to continue as long as she needs by moving us to as private of a location as I can find (maybe the bathroom or the corner of the store, etc...).

[Mama.Pajama]

I know that tantrums can be bewildering and frustrating: bewildering when they first appear (which is probably the case with you) and eventually they become frustrating (and heck, maddening on a bad day) when they become a regular occurrence in you and your toddler's life.
Since your LO is only 14 months old, it's likely that you are worried that he'll hurt himself when he flails and throws his head back like he does. At this age, I had to hold my DS to keep him from hurting himself sometimes.

There's not much "reasoning" you can do with a LO at this age, but you would do well to communicate to him that you understand what he wants and how he feels. I'm not advocating subscription to every method in this book, but The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp has a fundamental method for communicating with toddlers of all ages called "Toddler-ese" that is really helpful and effective for dealing with tantrums! Check it out from your local library- there is also a video that is a companion to the book (of the same title) if you'd rather not read a whole book.

Good luck!