I'm not sure if I'm actually depressed or just really overwhelmed. I have two boys, ages 3 and almost 1. Both have been extremely poor sleepers their whole lives. For the first 18 months of my first son's life, getting four hours of sleep in a row was an occasional treat. By that point, I was already pregnant again, and before long, I started having sleeping problems again just because I was uncomfortable (and had to pee all the time).
My second son seemed to be a better sleeper at first and would even do six-hour stretches until he was about two months old. After that, he was at least as bad as my first, and he was colicky too. Luckily, a prescription to help with his reflux cured the colic almost overnight, but it did not help him sleep better.
Now he's almost a year old and still waking about 3 times a night to nurse. I only recently started getting him to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes, which is good, especially since my older boy stopped napping right after Christmas. I have been getting less than 7 hours of sleep, broken up into three or four segments, every single night for months and almost never getting naps.
My problem is that I don't know who to rely on. I used to do babysitting swaps with my upstairs neighbor (we live in a basement) so we could get work done or some sleep. Now she has a newborn (her third), and I don't want to overwhelm her with five boys at once, all under 3, just so I can get a nap. Two of my other three friends in the area just had babies too, and the third has a son who is not nice (bit my 3-year-old hard last time they played).
I don't want to whine about my husband, either, but he just isn't much help. I swear he makes me feel guilty about taking more than a half-hour nap on Saturday or Sunday, and many Saturdays, he has so many errands or activities going on he leaves me alone with the kids anyway. He's in graduate school, so he's very busy, and he has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and insomnia, so he often gets as little sleep as I do, but for different reasons. I would feel terrible asking him to get up at night; if he did so, he'd probably be up for hours.
I have no family in the area. I'm not opposed to asking for help, but I just don't know who to ask. Due to the grad school thing, we don't have money for babysitters every time I need a nap (every day). I should just go to bed earlier, as that would help some, but most nights I'm as desperate for some quiet time as I am for sleep.
I think I'm coping as well as can be expected. I don't have thoughts of harming my children, and I don't feel like a bad mom or a failure. But DANG. I need sleep, and I need help. I need some time away from my kids more often. I just don't know how to get it.
My second son seemed to be a better sleeper at first and would even do six-hour stretches until he was about two months old. After that, he was at least as bad as my first, and he was colicky too. Luckily, a prescription to help with his reflux cured the colic almost overnight, but it did not help him sleep better.
Now he's almost a year old and still waking about 3 times a night to nurse. I only recently started getting him to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes, which is good, especially since my older boy stopped napping right after Christmas. I have been getting less than 7 hours of sleep, broken up into three or four segments, every single night for months and almost never getting naps.
My problem is that I don't know who to rely on. I used to do babysitting swaps with my upstairs neighbor (we live in a basement) so we could get work done or some sleep. Now she has a newborn (her third), and I don't want to overwhelm her with five boys at once, all under 3, just so I can get a nap. Two of my other three friends in the area just had babies too, and the third has a son who is not nice (bit my 3-year-old hard last time they played).
I don't want to whine about my husband, either, but he just isn't much help. I swear he makes me feel guilty about taking more than a half-hour nap on Saturday or Sunday, and many Saturdays, he has so many errands or activities going on he leaves me alone with the kids anyway. He's in graduate school, so he's very busy, and he has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and insomnia, so he often gets as little sleep as I do, but for different reasons. I would feel terrible asking him to get up at night; if he did so, he'd probably be up for hours.
I have no family in the area. I'm not opposed to asking for help, but I just don't know who to ask. Due to the grad school thing, we don't have money for babysitters every time I need a nap (every day). I should just go to bed earlier, as that would help some, but most nights I'm as desperate for some quiet time as I am for sleep.
I think I'm coping as well as can be expected. I don't have thoughts of harming my children, and I don't feel like a bad mom or a failure. But DANG. I need sleep, and I need help. I need some time away from my kids more often. I just don't know how to get it.
