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DH... You Are An Idiot Sometimes

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
Seriously, it is like he doesn't realize I am 38 weeks pregnant. I still do everything I always have, all the house stuff, taking care of our 13 month old, cooking... everything. And really, I don't mind it. But he keeps asking me to get up and get him crap when we are both sitting down. Does he not realize that the whole getting up thing is getting hard? I have to badger him for ages to get him to help with anything and it is getting on my last nerve. If he keeps this up I am going to drop kick him out the window.
post #2 of 27
He's in the Army? Then I'm certain he's physically capable enough (as well as a grown adult) to serve himself. : wow, if he asked me, I'd just say, go get it yourself!
post #3 of 27
OH heeeeeeeeeeeell no. I would say, "Are your legs broken?"
post #4 of 27
Mine does that too...or my kids call for me to help and I have to say "ask daddy!!" because WHY, especially at 9 mo pregnant, do I have to be the homework helper, the get something downer, etc?

I've determined my spouse is CLUELESS and this is our 3rd. I'm actually mad at him today about how freakin' unhelpful he's been. GRRRRR...another rant...
post #5 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MangoMommy View Post
Mine does that too...or my kids call for me to help and I have to say "ask daddy!!" because WHY, especially at 9 mo pregnant, do I have to be the homework helper, the get something downer, etc?

I've determined my spouse is CLUELESS and this is our 3rd. I'm actually mad at him today about how freakin' unhelpful he's been. GRRRRR...another rant...
This is so my DH... he is just clueless!!! I swear he doesn't think before sh*t comes out of his mouth.
post #6 of 27
Popping in from DueInJuly...

I'd respond like this...

Guys just don't get it sometimes. Mine is finally figuring out how to properly treat a pregnant woman...and this is our 4th!
post #7 of 27
I probably would have already drop-kicked him...I'm feisty this pregnancy.


However, there would DEFINITELY be some smart-ass remarks about how my belly outranks his beer gut, etc.


Men.
post #8 of 27
Sounds to me like he needs to go to your next prenatal appt and get some "education" mmmm hmmmm
post #9 of 27
So, I just went to find my husband, because the toddler was running wild when I thought he had her.

He's lying down, because he has a 'headache.'

I have an all 200-parts of my body ache and 400+ things to do! When's MY nap time?:

This is AFTER his nap while the baby was napping, while I thought he was working on a project (paid) that REALLY needs to get done before the baby.

{grumble rant blegh ANGER.

Thank you for listening.
post #10 of 27
Amen sisters! Mine was watching TV in bed last night while I was dealing with my 2-yr old, trying to do report cards and make dinner. I would never consider lying down at 6:00 in the evening and if I did, both he and my toddler would look at me like I was insane...so why is it OK for them???
post #11 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by nameisrio View Post
Amen sisters! Mine was watching TV in bed last night while I was dealing with my 2-yr old, trying to do report cards and make dinner. I would never consider lying down at 6:00 in the evening and if I did, both he and my toddler would look at me like I was insane...so why is it OK for them???
I have exactly this same question... if I was just like "ok honey I'm going to bed" at like 5 my husband would have NO idea what to do!! He doesn't even know how to diaper DS for bed
post #12 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
I have exactly this same question... if I was just like "ok honey I'm going to bed" at like 5 my husband would have NO idea what to do!! He doesn't even know how to diaper DS for bed
Throw them in the deep end (the husband, not the kids!). I got my husband to pretty much 100% take over bed time for my older kids (5 and 3) while I put the baby to sleep. He figured it out. Yours will too. Try it sometime!
post #13 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringTales View Post
Throw them in the deep end (the husband, not the kids!). I got my husband to pretty much 100% take over bed time for my older kids (5 and 3) while I put the baby to sleep. He figured it out. Yours will too. Try it sometime!
:

I used to put up with that cr** too--DH falling asleep and leaving me to deal with everything else--but it ended a few years ago. It is amazing how sensitive men can become once women force them to be. (I do have to give my DH credit for never treating me like that when I was pregnant though!)They are adults too, not just bigger children.

Asking you to get him something while you are both sitting down? What are you? A maid? You need to give him a look like he might be insane. Which he might be--it takes me about 5 minutes to just get up from the couch, nobody would want to wait that long for whatever they wanted.
post #14 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by rivkah View Post
used to put up with that cr** too--DH falling asleep and leaving me to deal with everything else--but it ended a few years ago.
Me too. When I was pregnant with our second, I basically had a meltdown telling DH he was a bad dad and husband because he didn't do ANYTHING! He would come home from work (and granted, he worked long hours AND commuted over an hour both ways) and just sit and I would do everything and he would NEVER play with his son. I felt horrible. He cried. But things changed. I really don't think he even thought he was being useless. Men just don't get it sometimes.

This is our fourth and now we've got the routine down! I still do A LOT, but that's my choice. He's very helpful and offers to do projects for me all the time. I really think if we didn't have a "chat" we wouldn't be on a fourth child! I definately would have quit after 2!
post #15 of 27
Thread Starter 
I really am glad it isn't just my DH... he has gotten a LOT better but he just goes through these phases where I want to beat the living snot out of him!!! A lot of the stuff I do around here I don't mind doing, he doesn't do it right and I am a bit of a perfectionist even when I'm not pregnant. It would be nice though if he would stop acting like just because he works he is incapable of functioning once he got home!
post #16 of 27
OP: I totally understand as I am in the same boat....this takes the cake though "honey, can you give me a massage?" -- this came out of my husband's mouth last night...unbelievable...I have not gotten a single massage out of him this whole pregnancy-- he particularly does not think he has any responsibilities since I just stopped working and I'm home all day lol.... I thought I was taking off work to REST, not pick up after myself and my husband....but here I am, still cooking dinner nightly AND washing the dishes, doing the laundry, etc....ok, vent over...
post #17 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilanaRose View Post
OP: I totally understand as I am in the same boat....this takes the cake though "honey, can you give me a massage?" -- this came out of my husband's mouth last night...unbelievable...I have not gotten a single massage out of him this whole pregnancy-- he particularly does not think he has any responsibilities since I just stopped working and I'm home all day lol.... I thought I was taking off work to REST, not pick up after myself and my husband....but here I am, still cooking dinner nightly AND washing the dishes, doing the laundry, etc....ok, vent over...
That is my husband to a T!!!! He has asked me for massages multiple times, though he does give me them too. But STILL!!! Men are impossible... big babies all of them. I blame the Y chromosome... I mean if you think about it that is a big chunk of DNA they are missing with that one smaller chromosome...
post #18 of 27
I think that you should all tell your spouses this instead of just venting here! It worked like a charm for me.

I honestly think they just don't think about what it must be like- wanna' know why? We are keeping up (no matter how difficult), caring for the other kids (and doing a d**** good job even though it saps every oz of energy we have), keeping the house in order, getting everyone fed, getting the house ready for another little one, not complaining and doing it all with grace (for the most part)! Why? Because we are moms and this is just what we do! BUT this is the one time in our lives where we should be cared for!

Once I had a gentle heart-to-heart with DH and let him know how I was feeling (physically and emotionally) about the whole situation, things gradually changed! He had no idea how much I needed from him! Now, he asks me what he can do to help me out when he gets home! He has started doing all of DDs baths and most of the bedtime routine!
post #19 of 27
Thread Starter 
I have talked to my DH about it some... he always says he gets it and things have sloooooooowly been changing but slower than molasses on the tundra. He is just beyond clueless. Not that I don't love him and all
post #20 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
I have talked to my DH about it some... he always says he gets it and things have sloooooooowly been changing but slower than molasses on the tundra. He is just beyond clueless. Not that I don't love him and all
Yeah, I *did* say "gradually"! The changes are still slow...
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