19 mth old yelling STOP/NO, how to respond?

[Shami]

My 19 month old dd tells me to "STOP" or "NO" loudly and full of demand! I've been telling her, "You need to speak nicely to Momma. If you want me to stop, you need to say Momma, stop please." Then she repeats it nicely.
I always lower my voice and show her how to say it gently. I repeat this umpteen times a day and it doesn't seem to sink in yet. I don't know why she started this because I don't yell at her. Sometimes I say it firmly, but I don't yell. She def. learned these words from me.
Is there anything else I can say or do to help her use her voice gently? On the other hand, I am a little bit happy to see her assert herself. She tells other children the same thing when they do something she doesn't like.

[mom2grrls]

I would say if you don't want to hear no or stop then take them out of your vocabulary I think at that age they're just working on how the communication thing works and sometimes things are going to come across as "mean" but it doesn't mean the child intends it that way. I would just continue to model gentle speaking to her and perhaps shorten what you say to "talk gently".

[HappyMommy2]

Sounds like you are already doing the right thing Mama!!

That is great that she models you speaking nicely. My DD (same age) does the NO thing too. I just say "no thank you" in a gentle tone.

She's a toddler, so that means you have to do these things a thousand times. She will come around someday! :-)

[sarahwpen]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Sounds like you are already doing the right thing Mama!!

That is great that she models you speaking nicely. My DD (same age) does the NO thing too. I just say "no thank you" in a gentle tone.

She's a toddler, so that means you have to do these things a thousand times. She will come around someday! :-)

yeah, i think that age is kind of a "assertion" new vocabulary type discovery age. My DD (20 months now) has been saying "BAD GIRL!" whenever someone does something she doesn't like for the past month or so now. she picked that little charmer up from her 3 year old brother who yelled it at her once (only once though) in a fit of utter frustration because she broke one of his favorite toys. We have had talks about how we don't say that to people, because even though we may act badly sometimes, we are not bad, and we all expect each other to make good choices and treat each other respectfully. (sometimes we just say "treat others how you want to be treated")

I know it hurt her feelings when he said that to her, but she seemed to find in that phrase a new way of expressing her own frustrations and with it a power that she didn't have before. Like it was the thing that connected the dot's for her, and she understands that her words can hurt peoples feelings, and that she does have some control of the effect that SHE has on others.

We have been working on trying to direct that effect in a more positive way, and i think it is working because she hasn't said that to anyone for at least a couple of day's now, and it seems to be passing.