Just a little vent...

[NoraB]

Maybe this is more of breastfeeding in general topic than a lactivism topic, but I think it has to do w/ NIP or, rather, NOT NIP.

The other day, I was out and witnessed something that drives me bonkers...a parent ignoring a tiny baby's hungar cues. The baby was chewing on Mom's shoulder, then Dad's, then several other family members. They baby kept crying and they kept pushing the paci in his mouth. They bounced him around. They seemed to be trying to soothe the little one w/ the best intentions, but it was soooooooooo obvious to me that the baby was HUNGRY!!!!! The baby was practically gnawing the skin of Mom's arm. I'm guessing the baby was bf'd b/c nobody whipped out a bottle at any time. The baby could have been on a schedule, but it really seemed to me like the mom didn't want to NIP. The baby was actually calmer w/ the other family members than w/ Mom and baby chewed more on Mom than the others. I have no personal experience w/ bottle fed babes, but I know my own bf'd babes were like that.

I'm not blaming the mom (though I would have been a hysterical leaking mess if I'd tried to make my little babes wait so long to eat). I blame our ridiculous culture that makes any woman feel ashamed to NIP. Darn it! THAT'S one of the main reasons it's SO important to NIP ourselves (well, NIP our babies LOL). If others see us, then ppl can gradually realize bf is normal and natural and not the least bit obscene. I wanted so badly to say something to the mom, but I thought it probably wouldn't have helped. Besides, I was only guessing at her situation, so I could have been wrong about my conclusions. Still, I have seen women who ARE so uncomfortable about NIP that they avoid it, go somewhere else to feed (often uncomfortable) or bring a bottle to feed in public. It's up to us to change our culture.

[tanyam926]

ITA w/you, and it makes me angry too.

I see this a lot when I am doing BF classes at the WIC office, they expect the babies to wait, then the baby is hysterical and they wonder why the baby doesn't want to work at BF and will calm faster w/a bottle.

I am w/you on not blaming the moms too, I feel like in our society it's a wonder that any woman BF successfully.

I consider myself doing a good deed when I NIP, in fact the waitress at our rest. this morning noticed I was BF and fondly told me how she BF all of her children too.

[filiadeluna]

Ugh. I never see that, because, frankly, it *seems* that most people around here bottle feed - formula, more specifically, though I can't be sure. I never see anyone NIP in my town except for myself. I feed on demand. I've NIP in restaurants (while simultaneously feeding myself LOL), in the department stores, the car (parked), in a park, at the doctor's office, etc etc. It is not always convenient or comfortable for me, but I will not let my baby fuss and starve for my own convenience or that of others.

That irks me that anyone would do that. If a woman exclusively BFs and is absolutely against NIP (for whatever reason), then she can at least take some expressed milk in a bottle. It's not right to let a baby starve.

Granted, if my baby is suddenly hungry while I'm driving, and we are only a few minutes from home, I wait until we get home rather than pulling off on the side of the road (this is a rather large town with lots of traffic). If I know I will be out for awhile, or I'm far from home, I find a safe place to park, and then get into the back seat to feed her before going on.

[rjruiz_415]

Ugh, I totally understand. I can't wait for baby to be here so I can make an effort to NIP so that people will see that it is normall and okay

[kriket]

Originally Posted by NoraB

The baby was practically gnawing the skin of Mom's arm.

Were you watching me in the mall a few days ago? I just couldn't get the nerve to sit in the literal *middle* of the mall. I walked all the way down to the other side to the mothers lounge then kicked myself for being a puss and hiding in the lounge.

Originally Posted by tanyam926

I see this a lot when I am doing BF classes at the WIC office,

I BFed at our WIC office today (DS is getting to be quite the comfort nurser) and you would think I was a goddess! The staff was bending over backwards to talk to me and see if I needed a pillow or a quiet chair telling me I was doing a good job etc. It was amazing and empowering. I should write them a nice note.

[teale]

Maybe I'm a cow for this, but when I walk by them or near them, I say something like, "Someone's hungry" or "Wow, I wish I could ignore my baby when he's hungry", or "Man, that baby is making me leak!"

It depends on the day. It drives me insane too.

[MaryJaneLouise]

I would guess the baby was on a schedule, whether breast or bottle fed, and the parent's just weren't even thinking "hungry" just "fussy"

If I had the time (and gumption) I might have said, "Wow, do you need somewhere quiet to go feed your baby? Can I help you find someplace?" The family probably would have said MYOB but at least that might have given them an idea .

Not that you NEED someplace quiet, but like you said, maybe she is too shy to NIP.

[NoraB]

Were you watching me in the mall a few days ago? I just couldn't get the nerve to sit in the literal *middle* of the mall. I walked all the way down to the other side to the mothers lounge then kicked myself for being a puss and hiding in the lounge.

No. Hugs. It sucks because our weirdo culture makes women feel uncomfortable NIP, especially in really crowded places. It does get easier though. Pretty soon you'll be "whipping it out" w/o even thinking about it. LOL.

Ugh. I never see that, because, frankly, it *seems* that most people around here bottle feed - formula, more specifically, though I can't be sure.

Seems like the vast majority around my home bottlefeed too. Really bums me out. I see tiny newborns being fed in their carseats and strollers w/ bottles all the time. Sigh. At least snuggle that baby!

Granted, if my baby is suddenly hungry while I'm driving, and we are only a few minutes from home, I wait until we get home rather than pulling off on the side of the road (this is a rather large town with lots of traffic). If I know I will be out for awhile, or I'm far from home, I find a safe place to park, and then get into the back seat to feed her before going on.

Oh yeah. I get that. My DD liked to nurse A LOT. She also comforted nursed A LOT. So going anywhere required nursing right before we left and right after arriving...sometimes even that was too long.

I would guess the baby was on a schedule, whether breast or bottle fed, and the parent's just weren't even thinking "hungry" just "fussy"

I thought that could be too. It's just so hard to fathom from the ecological bf perspective. Fussy usually = a boob in the mouth first thing...unless something else is obviously wrong. What else can we do to change perceptions about meeting baby's needs? We need some serious public service announcements. LOL.

[poorlittlefish]

This is another way to look at it, or as I would have.
When I had my daughter, I was clueless about hunger cues-I never really got it because she ALWAYS chewed on her hands. Also, until I educated myself a little better, if she was hungry 1/2 hour after I fed her it wouldn't occur to me that she was hungry, I would try to soothe her another way.

I look back on our first miserable month at the times I should have just put her on the boob but I was convinced there was no way that she could be hungry, that it must be something else! Anyways, maybe that is what was going on? First time mom thing?

[pammysue]

Originally Posted by kriket

Were you watching me in the mall a few days ago? I just couldn't get the nerve to sit in the literal *middle* of the mall. I walked all the way down to the other side to the mothers lounge then kicked myself for being a puss and hiding in the lounge.

Don't kick yourself, I was the same way when DS was bitty. Now, I nurse anywhere and everywhere. It becomes much easier when the babies are better at nursing, ie don't need help latching and staying latched, and Mom is too.

[lara1828]

Originally Posted by poorlittlefish

This is another way to look at it, or as I would have.
When I had my daughter, I was clueless about hunger cues-I never really got it because she ALWAYS chewed on her hands. Also, until I educated myself a little better, if she was hungry 1/2 hour after I fed her it wouldn't occur to me that she was hungry, I would try to soothe her another way.

I look back on our first miserable month at the times I should have just put her on the boob but I was convinced there was no way that she could be hungry, that it must be something else! Anyways, maybe that is what was going on? First time mom thing?

This happened to me too. I finally read an article about cluster feeding and thought, "OMG, he is hungry!" And never looked back.

[CrunchyGina]

Originally Posted by poorlittlefish

This is another way to look at it, or as I would have.
When I had my daughter, I was clueless about hunger cues-I never really got it because she ALWAYS chewed on her hands. Also, until I educated myself a little better, if she was hungry 1/2 hour after I fed her it wouldn't occur to me that she was hungry, I would try to soothe her another way.

I look back on our first miserable month at the times I should have just put her on the boob but I was convinced there was no way that she could be hungry, that it must be something else! Anyways, maybe that is what was going on? First time mom thing?

my 1st was the same way! it took forever for me to realize she just wanted to nurse

[SteelerMom]

I don't get it either. I NIP both my babies, including at the Saratoga Racecourse where I spent a lot of time in the summer. I did get a few looks but not one person ever said anything to me. I was almost hoping someone would though, so I could tell them where to go!

[NoraB]

I haven't really had any negative comments about NIP either...though there were too women who were making nasty remarks to eachother when I was nursing DD when she was a newborn. Obviously, they wanted me to overhear and be shamed. They said how disgusting it was to do "that" etc. So, I just looked down at DD blissfully and said, in a voice meant for them to overhear, "Yummy! Isnt' your lunch good! Isn't Mommy's milk the best?!" Heh heh heh. When ppl give the evil eye...I have the strongest urge to REALLY show them some undiscreet NIP. LOL.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by NoraB

When ppl give the evil eye...I have the strongest urge to REALLY show them some undiscreet NIP. LOL.

My son seriously CANNOT nurse discreetly! He just can't do it. He gets milk everywhere, he constantly latches and pulls off - like 10-15times per feeding! Its hilarious, and I would probably laugh if I saw it happening to someone else (but in a nice, understanding, isn't that cute laugh - not a mean one intended to embarrass!). Oh man, NIP is so interesting when we do it! I don't even see the stares if there are any b/c I'm too busy keeping him latched on!

Oh well, My baby's hunger is much more important to me than a few strangers opinions so oh well.

[NoraB]

I've had a few unintended flashings while NIP. My first one was a doozy...full breast exposure. Kinda broke me in really quick. LOL. I think women should nurse however THEY are comfortable, however "indiscreet" or "discreet" that might be (though I do feel bad for moms who feel like they HAVE to hide under a tent).