So Sad Today

[calngavinsmom]

So sad today. I got to meet my beautiful new nephew yesterday. And I also got to listen to my stepsis and stepmom bring up his circumcision several times. And then I got to explain to my son (4) why my dn had an "operation" on his penis(he saw a diaper change). Ugh. Anyone who knows me has seen my email siggy(anticirc) or my Facebook page (also very anticirc) not to mention both have cared for my boys since birth on occasion, so why they felt the need to bring it up so many times baffles me. No matter how many times you mention it, I will NEVER think it is an acceptable thing to do.

I am not really looking for any advice, I am just trying so hard to get rid of the "sad".....oh crap, I'm going to cry again.

Thanks for listening,
Take care,
Tara

[BlessedMommy2006]

I'm so sorry, mama. That type of thing would tear me up too.

[LavenderMae]

I'm sorry.

[Quirky]

I'm so sorry. Your stepsister and stepmother are just trying to rationalize, because deep down they know there is something wrong with what they did.

I've been in your shoes and I've never been able to truly get over it, but it does get more manageable with time.

[leighann79]

I'm so sorry. ((HUGS)) I'm right there with you. My SIL had her new baby done also. I ended up being the only one around to change his diaper the other day (he was almost 2 weeks old). I was determined when he was born that I would never change his diaper. I didn't want to put myself through that. Then I found myself the only one around with a newborn who had a very wet and poopy diaper. *sigh* I knew I had to suck it up. The baby's comfort out ranked my feelings about the situation. So I found myself changing his diaper and feeling so bad for him that he had been through that.
At least I haven't had to hear his mother talk about it or anything. I'm glad of that.
Oh, also, I knew that at some point my kids would most likely see him getting his diaper changed, so I prepared them with seeing pics of both intact and circed babies. I gave a very simple explanation. (that way they didn't feel the need to ask SIL or Grandma about it and get their "information") DS thanked me for not having that done to him.

[BlessedMommy2006]

Just curious as to what your simple explanation consisted of? I may need to have one of those ready in case my kids ever ask about someone else's baby.

[listipton]

: I've benn sad today too. A regular library patron came in with pictures of her new grandson. During conversation she mentioned that he wasn't coming home until tomorrow b/c he "had to" get his circ today. I must have looked horrified, b/c she spent the rest of the conversation explaing why they needed to do it. Just wanted to let you know I'm in a similar boat (although its not family, it is a patron I see daily...), and that I'm sorry you're going through this.

[leighann79]

I told my kids that at one point people decided that there were good reasons to do such a thing. More recently we have learned that there is no real reason to. Mommy and Daddy learned about it and decided to not do it.
For my DS (7) and DD1 (10) I also explained that there was skin called the foreskin (point to it in pic) and that is what they cut off leaving the glans exposed (point to pic).
This is the site that I used to show pics. http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/ click on Anatomy.
DS wanted more info as to WHY people thought THAT was a good idea, so I went into some of the medical reasons that are mentioned. (and said why they were bogus). (UTI and Cancer for example) I never mentioned anything about some people thinking it's "cleaner".

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by listipton

: I've benn sad today too. A regular library patron came in with pictures of her new grandson. During conversation she mentioned that he wasn't coming home until tomorrow b/c he "had to" get his circ today. I must have looked horrified, b/c she spent the rest of the conversation explaing why they needed to do it. Just wanted to let you know I'm in a similar boat (although its not family, it is a patron I see daily...), and that I'm sorry you're going through this.

Not to derail this thread but does that mean you're a librarian?

[Devaskyla]

I heard a woman yesterday asking how to go about getting her little baby circumcised. I just wanted to grab the little guy & run. I couldn't even say anything to her, she was French & my French just isn't that good.

I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with a relative doing it.

[listipton]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

Not to derail this thread but does that mean you're a librarian?

yes It is usually such a rewarding job. I stocked many books on the resource list and have handed them out when expectant moms/dads are looking for general baby information.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by listipton

yes It is usually such a rewarding job.

What kind of materials are in the library that might be anti circ?

[listipton]

Natural Family Living by Peggy O'Mara and What your doctor may not tell you about circumcision by Paul Fleiss and I usually hand out Ina May's Guide to a Natural Birth and I think she talks about circ a little. In the very least she talks about natural living. We have a few other titles that have small chapters/paragraphs on circ, but are very "it's your decision" oriented. We also subscribe to Mothering Magazine. Planting seeds and expanding minds I hope.

[tutucrazy]

I will probably be in your shoes here in a month. My SIL and brother are having a boy. I've sent them countless books, emails, and dvds with NO response, not even a thank you.

[becca_howell]

My cousin had her son when I was 8 months pregnant with mine. We had made it known we were not circ'ing before we found out it was a boy. They had him circ'd. When my mom came home from visiting him one day, she was so excited to explain to me the Plastibel procedure for circ'ing him and how "easy" and "virtually painless" it was. I looked at her with disgust. I nearly threw up.

They say the number of intact boys are rising, however it seems like we're still very much a suppressed minority. Like when you're a non-smoker, it seems that everyone else smokes, but the numbers say there are more non-smokers than smokers. Sigh...

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by becca_howell

My cousin had her son when I was 8 months pregnant with mine. We had made it known we were not circ'ing before we found out it was a boy. They had him circ'd. When my mom came home from visiting him one day, she was so excited to explain to me the Plastibel procedure for circ'ing him and how "easy" and "virtually painless" it was. I looked at her with disgust. I nearly threw up.

They say the number of intact boys are rising, however it seems like we're still very much a suppressed minority. Like when you're a non-smoker, it seems that everyone else smokes, but the numbers say there are more non-smokers than smokers. Sigh...

An interesting analogy but perhaps it would have been like being a non smoker when smoking started to decline 20 or 30 years ago.

[calngavinsmom]

s to you all. Thanks so much for the comforting words. My other sis(bio), who did NOT circ her two boys : agrees with me that circ is wrong but she doesn't "feel it" to the extent that I do. It is so nice to have you all to understand my feelings and offer comfort. I still don't feel any better for what happened to my sweet little dn, but I do feel a little less for how I feel about it.

Love to you all!
Tara

[hakunangovi]

Tara, HUGS to you. This must be very difficult to deal with, between the joy of a new nephew and the terrible sadness over what his parents did to him. I see you are in Ontario - I keep hoping that this custom is dead and buried in Canada, although I know full well that we still have our share of unethical doctors.