Painful experience, now worried about birth

[AustGirl]

Had another visit to my MW this morning (getting them every 2nd day now because I'm term). We'd agreed to do a membrane sweep on Monday, and I'd have acupuncture this afternoon in the meantime. However, she checked my blood pressure and it was still too high, trace protein in urine, but everything else okay. CTG showed that baby was perfectly happy where he was.

Because of the BP reading, we decided to do the membrane sweep today as well as Monday if needed.

Well. It was nothing like what I was expecting. She never even made it NEAR my cervix because I was so tight. It was the most painful thing anyone had ever done to me down there. I was crying so much and in so much pain that she gave up.

Apparently my birth canal is way tighter than the average person. She even asked me if I'd be sexually abused in the past (which I haven't, but apparently I resembled someone who had). She told me that instead of being able to 'breathe down the baby' during birth like planned, I'd have a hard time pushing him out because of the restricted space.

She still wants to go ahead with another sweep attempt on Monday. The very thought terrifies me.

I have a very high pain threshold normally (have broken my spine in two places, and good at dealing with pain as a result), but this was just unbearable. The thought of being in labour is fine, but I don't think I could handle transition or 2nd stage at all - if my body could even do it. Now I'm sure I'd have a long attempt at pushing that'll just result in an emergency c-section.

Has anyone else ever dealt with this? I'm an emotional mess over here. So over pregnancy, but now terrified of going into labour without knowing how my body will handle it.

[octanebeetle27]

I am so sorry you had this yucky experience!!

I have a pretty high pain threshold BUT what I consider terribly painful is someone "doing" something to me--like putting in an I.V., doing an internal, giving a shot, etc. Labor is different--there are no sudden sharp pains. Contractions build up, plateau, and then subside and you get a total break in between. Its honestly a mere amount of seconds of intensity and then it just goes down. You find your way to let the contraction work your body and then you just repeat what works and change things if it stops. It is a very INTENSE experience but it is bearable b/c of the breaks you get. And you might need to remind yourself that contractions are GOOD--welcome them b/c they are bringing you closer to meeting your baby.

I don't think I would let her attempt the sweep again. Personally I would probably avoid internal exams if I were you too. I know your BP was a little high but maybe it won't be come Monday. I think that given your experience today though you are going to be anxious about your visit and your BP may be high b/c of your anxiety. Just my two cents though.

[Funny Face]

Not in your ddc.

Vaginal exams during pregnancy were EXTREMELY painful for me. I started sweating and felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. I have a pretty normal threshold of pain and good vaginal tone. I went on to have a medicated hospital birth and then a homebirth.

Unless your midwife notes scar tissue of some sort your cervix and canal will soften and stretch during labor and birth. You may have to work at pushing or you might surprise her. If you have good vaginal tone that can sometimes work in favor of pushing.


Happy birthing, good luck to you!

[tallulahma]

ddc crashing.

big hugs.

but...ok, i have had two vaginal births, TWO 8 lbs & 9 lbs with a nuchal hand... but, um... just TRY to get a speculum in me? forget it. sex hurts sometimes too.

none of that has any bearing imho.

you absolutely can have the birth you want!

[Maluhia]

crashing.

I had the same experience - membrane sweeping was HORRIBLE - I gave birth to a 10 pound baby a few days later just fine. Don't let "scare talk" from a midwife tell you anything - you were tight down there because she was sticking something UP you that was HURTING you, not because your awesome muscle tone is going to have a damn problem at all pushing out the baby your body grew in there.

And pfft on her to put any "i can't do it" thoughts in the head of a term woman - can you see another midwife in her practice for the birth by any chance? I'd be raging mad at her as you can see....

[surprisedmama]

You were my due date buddy! I had a sweep and honestly it was way worse than birth and would never have another one again and I had 3 unmedicated vaginal births including one that was induced. During my last birth I was at the hospital with lots of different doctors any time they would check me if they stayed to long I would make them remove their hand. It is a different kind of hurt a definite violation feeling.

I also am not impressed with your midwife putting and fearful thoughts in your head right before birth. Read some ina mae and believe in your self you are a woman you can do it!!! happy birthing.

[CanBoo]

Originally Posted by surprisedmama

I also am not impressed with your midwife putting and fearful thoughts in your head right before birth. Read some ina mae and believe in your self you are a woman you can do it!!! happy birthing.

:


You can do this. Although I guess I did not help in telling you it was not a big deal, since I did not have a probllem with mine, I do not see the link in between a midwife sticking her finger up your closed cervix and your ability o push out a baby once dilated...

I would also decline Monday's sweep since the last thing you need is another high BP reading.

[AustGirl]

I could hug all of you right now!! You've all made me feel so much better

My MW is really lovely, so when she started talking about me having problems, I panicked. I think I might give her a call this evening and talk it over with her.

I do have a lot more faith in myself now thanks to all your comments here. Thankyou all so very very much!

[AustGirl]

Ok, I rang my MW and had a good chat about everything. She didn't mean to freak me out. She said if I didn't want to do another internal, we don't have to. We don't even have to induce in at 42 weeks if I don't want to. Everything is up to me, and she'll support me whatever I decide.

Her only concern is that if I did want to be induced, they wouldn't be able to insert the prostiglandins during an internal. She did suggest that I could suck on gas to loosen me up a bit. I'm glad that's an option if I want it. And we really only have to consider induction if the baby becomes stressed at all.

My MW pointed out that we wouldn't even know about my tightness if we hadn't decided to do the internal today, so not to worry about it. It will probably loosen up during labour/birth on it's own. She doesn't think I'm at a higher risk of resulting in c-section either. We just have to hope I go into labour naturally and dont need inducing.

So I'll have my second acupuncture session on Monday if I still haven't gone into labour naturally. It's 7 hours since my first one now, and my whole body is relaxed. Not even that many BHs tonight.

Thanks for listening everyone. It's comforting to know you guys are all out there!

[lotus.blossom]

I just wanted to take a moment to reassure you. (even though my own birth ended in c/s.....but thats another issue)

There were times where my dh and I were intimate, um, digitally and it was excrutiating. He used to to say- well honey you are going to push a baby out of that! but its was terribly sharp and painful. So I hear you on that.

In my own experience, when it came time to push I had an anterior lip and my midwives who were normally very hands off had their hands in me for almost all of my pushing. They also encouraged me to feel inside as well. Its totally amazing how when the head comes down it opens up your vagina ever so slightly. My baby never descended past my pubic bone but when I was pushing i was amazed at how the whole path opens up from the inside. Totally different from someone coming from the outside.
Also- It felt better for me to push when my midwives had their fingers there guiding me, than without.

I hope that you have a lovely birth experience and don;t let your midwife scare you! The intensity of contractions are a whole nother story, but you can manage those too.

[j_p_i]

I'm running out the door but wanted to add my mama, sorry your experience was so painful, and scary! It's my first time too, so I don't have any advice, but my mw tried to do a membrane sweep yesterday and couldn't reach the inside of my cervix either. Not painful, but disheartening anyway. But the other mamas here definitely had some reassuring advice, I hope you're feeling better.

[2boyzmama]

I'm crashing here...I lurk the birthing DDCs

I just wanted to tell you...when I was in early labor with my first son, I went to the hospital to be checked and the nurse couldn't even get two fingers in me I was so tight. She said "honey, you need to relax" and with a lot of concentration on my part, I was able to relax enough to be checked. I'm not usually an overly tight person, but assume that it was because I was a first timer, nervous, and on guard for the next contraction. That was the only time anyone has ever told me I was tight, and I went on to deliver a 9+lb baby vaginally, so obviously things loosened up eventually!

I'm thinking that you are likely thinking about your birth SO much that your muscles are all tense. The vaginal canal is an extremely muscular region, I think if I were to do a kegel and really try hard, I could probably intentionally tighten up enough to not get a tampon in there.

The hormones and blood flow from labor will naturally loosen you up, your body was designed to birth a baby, even though your vagina might not have ever had anything in it bigger than your husband's penis. Think about it...to go from being tight enough to enjoy sex to loose enough to birth a baby is rather impressive!!!

If you are concerned about another internal, and if you need another internal, depending on your comfort level, you could even try a little masturbation first, it would create the same hormones and extra blood flow that labor causes, and would probably help you loosen up. If masturbation isn't something you're comfortable with, try having sex with your partner first.

[CookAMH]

Originally Posted by AustGirl

Apparently my birth canal is way tighter than the average person. She even asked me if I'd be sexually abused in the past (which I haven't, but apparently I resembled someone who had). She told me that instead of being able to 'breathe down the baby' during birth like planned, I'd have a hard time pushing him out because of the restricted space.

My first thought was, while midwives know a lot, she doesn't know YOUR body and is just guessing. You just don't know how your body will open up, and our bodies do know what to do. My feeling is it will be fine and I wish she hadn't said anything! It's hard to push that statement away but it's exactly what you need to do. Your related fear could tense you up more, not your birth canal, but you'd never know in the end whether it really was the birth canal or the related anxiety.

[trauerweidchen]

First off, a big to you.
Sounds like you've had lots of good advice from the others on here; I'd second that it's amazing how much your body can open up. As you know, I'm also a first-timer and I've experienced pain from, um, smaller body parts going in there if I'm not relaxed, but I gave birth to a 10 lb. baby last weekend without even tearing my perineum (I tore a bit on one of my labia, but barely enough to need a stitch), and although it was intense, my body did what it needed to because I stayed loose and gave it the chance to open up. I think my positive mindset made a huge difference; I didn't let myself think I couldn't do it (although I had my moments of doubt, I always worked through them), and guess what--I did it!--and so will you. :

[CookAMH]

Glad you had a good talk and got things cleared up. I hadn't read/seen your update post before I posted. I'm glad she could reassure you!

[NaturalMindedMomma]

DDC crash- your vagina is a muscle it stretches. Your were probably so tight because it was painful!

If there is no where to insert prostaglandins, you are not favorable for induction, it most likely wouldn't work. Your body knows what it is doing mama. Wait for some dialation to try sweeping again. You have to be dialated to sweep. Next time, if you feel comfortable, have a glass of wine before your next internal, it might help! Just have someone else drive you.