Sharing the News - Page 2

[AmandaMama]

Originally Posted by intelgal

We are planning to tell our parents on Father's Day. This is our first baby and the first great grand child and grand child of my dad's side of the family! It is so so difficult to keep it to ourselves. So far, a few of my coworkers know. I needed advice on maternity leave and my rights through the union as a non-tenured public school teacher.

I am thinking about letting myself one person every week that I am farther along until we get to father's day. Maybe my sister and 1-2 close friends =)

My DH's brother and SIL have been trying for several years including AI without success. I know they will be very happy for us and they are certainly not the bitter jealous type. What is the best way to break the news to them?

I think telling 1 person a week is a great idea! I don't think it would work w/family because we may have jealousy issues! Maybe w/friends though.

I haven't told anyone but dh & only 2 friends know we werr ttc. I'm letting everyone else operate under the assumption that we're "done"...as we've been saying the past couple years. (not to be deceptive but because we thought we were )

We had a similair situatuin w/our best couple friends they have been ttc for a year now and have had 1 mc. The other night they were iver for dinner before our bfp & dh just told them directly "We don't want to be insensitive but mandy won't be drinking because there is a chance she may be preggo" Sweetly, my girlfriend said "I just appreciate that you care how feel and our trying to be sensitive and are of our feelings. It's more than a lot of our friends/relatives have done."

Anyway, I am mostly bursting to tell the kids but i'm going to wait a few weeks since I'm only 10dpo. Probably the last week of june.

[beccabus]

With our first we told parent and friends pretty much immediately!

This time around, we're keeping it a special knowing between us until at least 10-12 weeks. Our families are very excited and "slightly" overbearing especially at this kind of news, so we want to just enjoy the initial excitement alone for awhile

[Fireflyforever]

I'm keen not to tell anyone just yet - although I'm sure my MIL suspected when I declined a glass of wine when visiting this week (not sure what that says about my drinking habits LOL) but, the thing about having had losses is no one dares ask outright!

Although having said that, my BFF does know because she *DID* ask outright but then she knows more about my temperatures, cervical position and cervical fluid than anyone other than my DH really ought to know .

It's that sort of friendship (and she was action end at the birth of my second daughter so modesty seems moot now really) and it is nice to have someone to talk to although I know DH would've liked family to know first.

[MommaSomeday]

Well, after miscarrying Butterball, we planned on not telling anyone for a while when we got pregnant again. but that didn't work out so well. My sister chart stalks me, and my sister couldn't know and my mom not know, because she'd be really upset. So then, my Dad needed to know as well, and my BIL. Then, Garrin needed to tell his parents so they wouldn't be sad that my parents knew a long time before them. Garrin and I have each told one of our good friends. And, of course, the ladies on the TTCAL boards here know, and another private online group of friends.

I'd really rather people know and be able to celebrate with us the whole time. They have been there for us through everything, so why deprive them of the joy this little one will bring, whether for 6 weeks or 100 years?

[FertileMertel]

Originally Posted by MommaSomeday

Well, after miscarrying Butterball, we planned on not telling anyone for a while when we got pregnant again. but that didn't work out so well. My sister chart stalks me, and my sister couldn't know and my mom not know, because she'd be really upset. So then, my Dad needed to know as well, and my BIL. Then, Garrin needed to tell his parents so they wouldn't be sad that my parents knew a long time before them. Garrin and I have each told one of our good friends. And, of course, the ladies on the TTCAL boards here know, and another private online group of friends.

I'd really rather people know and be able to celebrate with us the whole time. They have been there for us through everything, so why deprive them of the joy this little one will bring, whether for 6 weeks or 100 years?

I agree with you 100%! A little miracle is always worth celebrating! And God forbid, if anything goes wrong, your family/friends can then support you in that too. If no one knows, your circle of support is very small if not obsolete.

[starshine1001]

I told my mother-in-law today when she called to wish us a happy anniversary (7 years today!)...she nearly passed out! She kept saying "WHAT?!", "WHAT?!" over and over, then started laughing. She said that was the biggest shock and she didn't expect it at all (haha...how ironic...neither did I...). It was pretty cool to see (hear) her reaction.

[FertileMertel]

Telling the Family

The Saturday we found out, it happened to be that we were having a big family BBQ with my parents, sisters (& boyfriends), grandparents, and aunt & unlce. My husband had class that day. When he came home everyone just happened to be in the kitchen. He had bought a bouqet of pink and blue flowers and had my 2.5 year old son to bring them to me. My ds turned to my mom and said (with everyone watching and listening) "Me a big brudder!!" It was such a happy moment!! Everyone started cheering, crying and hugging! : What a wonderful day!

[intelgal]

thank you for the feedback!

It is so hard to not tell! I know my parents absolutely cannot wait for me to be pregnant. Mom called over the weekend and asked if I have any signs of pregnancy (even though I have already told her to stop asking) and I had to say no..... argh! She then asked if it is because I am stressed out... hahaha... She actually bought baby clothes last year to prepare for when I have a baby but gave them away when she found out it is considered bad luck in the Chinese culture. Hopefully I can hold it until father's day.

It is weird that I have had to tell random people like the nurse at work because of swine flu, and yoga instructor.

[aebp25]

Oh, the joy of waiting

Right now, only DH knows. We have been trying for darn near 2 years and *God forbid* this little seed doesn't stick, I don't know if I could bare telling everyone about that later. That said, my baby sister is staying with us for a few weeks, the other one is down all the time, and DH siblings are both at our house constantly. Sisters are getting suspicious that I suddenly order ginger ale instead of white wine!! And the baby sister is sure to somehow find one of my books.

I am hoping to wait until after my first u/s in 2 weeks. Parents are coming up and it would be the perfect time to let everyone know and be close to 8 weeks along....seems safer?

I also have my 35th b-day this weekend, so I am trying to come up with ways to hide my lack of wine consumption at the dinner party. DH may end up a bit tipsy from drinking my glasses!

[Lauren31]

I told my parents and his parents and our siblings right away but my mom just told my aunt and cousin without my permission. I just literally cried for the past 20 minutes and told her how betrayed I feel. She does not seem to understand how nervous I am. I have never been pregnant before and it seems like everyone on these boards has a lot of losses and miscarriages are common and it just makes me so scared. I am feeling pretty crappy and hopeless right now like she just jinxed it and I should not have told anyone besides DH.

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by aebp25

Right now, only DH knows. We have been trying for darn near 2 years and *God forbid* this little seed doesn't stick, I don't know if I could bare telling everyone about that later. That said, my baby sister is staying with us for a few weeks, the other one is down all the time, and DH siblings are both at our house constantly. Sisters are getting suspicious that I suddenly order ginger ale instead of white wine!! And the baby sister is sure to somehow find one of my books.

I am hoping to wait until after my first u/s in 2 weeks. Parents are coming up and it would be the perfect time to let everyone know and be close to 8 weeks along....seems safer?

I also have my 35th b-day this weekend, so I am trying to come up with ways to hide my lack of wine consumption at the dinner party. DH may end up a bit tipsy from drinking my glasses!

1/2 to 1 glass of wine won't hurt the baby....what if you just nursed the same glass of wine all night? Take teeny sips, and never quite finish it. Many women wouldn't even know they were pregnant yet.

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

I told my parents and his parents and our siblings right away but my mom just told my aunt and cousin without my permission. I just literally cried for the past 20 minutes and told her how betrayed I feel. She does not seem to understand how nervous I am. I have never been pregnant before and it seems like everyone on these boards has a lot of losses and miscarriages are common and it just makes me so scared. I am feeling pretty crappy and hopeless right now like she just jinxed it and I should not have told anyone besides DH.

Awww I understand your nervousness, but don't be too mad with your mom. She was probably just excited at the prospect of being a grandma that her mouth ran before her brain.

Don't get worried over miscarriage. Yes it can happen and its a very sad thing to experience. (I had one before I got pregnant with DS2) You can't let thoughts like that take over your mind. You'll spend so much time and energy worrying over the whatifs that you'll realize you missed half of your pregnancy and you can't go back and change that.

I lost my mom this past January (I'm actually due 5 days after the one year anniversary of her passing) and I truely realized that life is too short to hang on to things that in the long run aren't going to change things. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, even if they hurt, and we can grow and learn from our experiences to be a better person.

I remember when I was giving birth to DS2 (my first homebirth) I was in the throws of transition when my mom and Aunt showed up at the house. At that time I had my birth music playing and all I could here was everyone talking at the same time (not able to realize that only my mom was talking) and I yelled for everyone to "Shut Up!!" She was quite mad about that and almost wouldn't come over to see the baby once he was born (if she hadn't stormed off after I yelled I had him literally 5 minutes later.) She realized how silly she was being later and came over. I did apologize and tell her I wasn't yelling at her, just whoever had been making noise, because I was so out of it I thought there were a bunch of people talking. I was mad at her for how she reacted at first because I thought "I just had a baby and she's going to make this about her?!" but It just ended up not being worth it after such an awesome birth.

All that to say don't worry yourself! Its worse for you and baby to get stressed over things. I'd talk to her calmly about how you feel to make sure you can get your feelings heard so its not something that eats at you.

Hope I don't come off badly...mommy brain is already setting in and giving me a run for my money trying to make my thoughts coherent!

[beccabus]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

I told my parents and his parents and our siblings right away but my mom just told my aunt and cousin without my permission. I just literally cried for the past 20 minutes and told her how betrayed I feel. She does not seem to understand how nervous I am. I have never been pregnant before and it seems like everyone on these boards has a lot of losses and miscarriages are common and it just makes me so scared. I am feeling pretty crappy and hopeless right now like she just jinxed it and I should not have told anyone besides DH.

*hugs, hugs, hugs* Don't let fear and worries take over what a beautiful and happy time of life this is for you. Although it may seem like miscarriages and losses are so very common, the majority of pregnancies do not end in those ways. Try and be quick to forgive and just chalk it up to a lesson learned.

[Lauren31]

Thanks ladies I called her back almost immedietly and told her why I was so upset and that I honestly am not mad anymore. I am just nervous that the more people who know the more pressure I feel and I do not want to disappoint people. It seems like the more I look at early pregnancy on the computer the more miscarriages there are and I really need to stop focusing on that. I sometimes wish I found out when I was 10 weeks pregnant! This is such a happy time and I can't let myself be only thinking of the bad things that could happen. I feel like I have waited so long to conceive that it is finally here and it's overwhelming me with all the possibilities of things going wrong. It's weird, I dealt with my husband in Iraq for 15 months and never let myself think about the possibilities, so why worry now? It can't help the situation and will take the joy away from my life at this moment.