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Tandeming and MOM Clubs

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Two questions. First, I hate tandem nursing the babies. It's too overstimulating. Will I get used to it? I pretty much avoid it now, unless they are both melting down at the same time.

Second, I was HORRIFIED when I went to the Mothers of Twins meeting we have locally last week. Singing the glories of Ezzo was the LEAST of my concerns. (Apparently, it's funny when your child has rotavirus and you leave them swimming in puke and diarrhea all night). Should I try a different group or are they pretty much all going to be so anti-AP?
post #2 of 16
I hated tandem nursing in the beginning too. I felt too much like a cow, and desperately wished that my babies would at least suck at the same time! I also had thrush, so it was a pretty painful thing all around. Now when I tandem nurse, I don't really feel anything. . . I guess my nipples have been desensitized. My babies were pretty much exclusively tandem fed for the first 2.5 months. They were the kind of babies who needed to nurse an hour out of every two hours. I would not have survived without my twin nursing pillow. You have one, right? It went everywhere with us. Then, one day, they started screaming and refusing to nurse whenever I'd try to do them tandem (I think they were too big for the pillow). So then they were exclusively single fed for several months. Now, at 11 months, I am often tandem-feeding them again because they see each other nursing and know that I have TWO breasts! It can be a bit daunting in public--there's just no way to be discreet! But I am not too shy about bearing all if it means avoiding a major meltdown.

I've never been to a Moms of Twins meeting. I can't get past the part where you're not supposed to bring your kids. . . seems strange to me. But I wouldn't be at all surprised if they're all pretty anti-AP.

Congrats on the arrival of your babies! Everything will get so much easier soon. Really!

post #3 of 16

My MOTC wasn't like that at all. People always brought babies along (though I personally never did unless we were having some type of family event). I think maybe it just depends on the group. Ours was a pretty small, close knit group. And there tend to be some different cultural norms from one area of our city to the next too so that may make a difference.
post #4 of 16
I hated my Mothers of Multiples club. I went twice with my (then) babies, but then quickly backed out.

It was a total Ezzo fest. Scary how similar our experiences were.

That and every baby was plugged in with a pacifier, sitting in their infant carseats, until it was "time for their feeding" at which point they got some trendy bottle (Avent usually) propped with dish towels under their chin.

I was so disgusted, that I left early both times, and then never went back.

I was really criticized for not putting dd and ds on a strict schedule ("you should tell them when mealtime is, not the other way around", for attempting to nurse exclusively ("trust us, your life will be SOOO much easier if you give a bottle every other feeding"), and for holding them so much ("they need 'tummy time'" and "they're going to get used to being held so much [translation: 'you're going to spoil them']").

The other thing is, I guess for me, is I always tried really hard to view dd and ds as individuals and the moms there all dressed their kids alike, talked about their children as though they were one person ("THEY are such good sleepers", "THEY are really into the Exersaucer now"), and so on.

Yuck yuck yuck.
post #5 of 16
Thread Starter 
amnesiac, where was your group? Maybe I'll try another. Mine is Lewisville.
post #6 of 16
Thread Starter 
Oh, yes on the dressing alike. Ick. In fact, that came up re: the sick child & her pajamas. Ick.
post #7 of 16
Not a twin mom, but have led a bfing support group for MOMs for 6 yrs now. The exp of the moms I know tells me, if your MOTC has bfers or LLL members in charge of things like the newsletter and the library, you are in luck. If not, hello Ezzo.

The local MOTC has been bfing friendly, then gone over to the dark side (refusing to put the LLL notice in the newsletter, "b/c we have to give ffing equal time!" and the old "don't want to make the ffers feel guilty" song), and now swung back to bfing friendly again. All thoughout, abt half the moms in the club have been bfing, but have had their needs and voices drowned out by anti-bfers at times.
post #8 of 16
I went to a MOTC club a couple times. I felt very out of place. I felt like the only one not complaining about how "bad my kids were."
post #9 of 16
I went to the one in Garland so that's really far for you. It may even be different now- I haven't been in about 7 years.
post #10 of 16
I never attended my local MOTC because it all seemed too business like to me. Fund raisers, etc. I think it was the NAMOTC? Anyway...I really enjoy my LLL meetings. Even though I'm the only twin mommy there I still love sitting and chatting with women who mother their little ones the same way I do mine.
post #11 of 16
Thread Starter 
Love my LLL! I think I will just stick with them for now, and maybe find a second meeting to go to.
post #12 of 16
I'm technically still a memeber of my MOTC, but haven't been to a meeting in months. I got lucky and hit it off with another mom in the playgroup and get along with the others, so I just do that. I never really got anything out of the actual meetings, other than trying to convince some of the pg moms that they could bf if they tried. LLL meetings are much more my thing.
post #13 of 16


Hi All,

I'm so curious! What's EZZO? If it's something obvious I'll probably feel silly for asking

I've never been to a MOTC meeting because the one when my twins were babies (when I wanted to go) was at 6 pm and I think it was without babies which I never did. But if I'm remembering wrong and we could bring the babies it was still too late for us. So, I don't have an opinion of them.

Good luck and please tell me what EZZO is!!!
post #14 of 16
"The other thing is, I guess for me, is I always tried really hard to view dd and ds as individuals and the moms there all dressed their kids alike, talked about their children as though they were one person ("THEY are such good sleepers", "THEY are really into the Exersaucer now"), and so on."

Oh no!!! I used to dress the twins in matching (well similar since they're boy/girl) GAP outfits when they were babies. It was so cute!!! And I used to say "they" all the time (even if I only had one of the with me at the peds and they asked, for example, how is "she" sleeping or something, I'd always respond, "they're sleeping great" or something. ) Oops...oh well, now they're going to be 5 years old and complete individuals even if I did dress them in corresponding outfits every once and a while and say "they". But luckily I got some great infant pictures of them in matching outfits...I have to say I think it's so adorable!!!! (not so much when they're older, though).
post #15 of 16
Gary Ezzo wrote a book called Babywise, Rasing Kids God's Way and then several other books on childcare and now even pg and birthing!

He used to be a pastor but has been kicked out of several churches. He has no medical training. His methods (strict scheduling, CIO, hands-off parenting) has been shown to be harmful to babies' physical and emotional health. Even the conservative AAP is against him.

but his books are wildly popular. go fig.

Do a google on him for pros and cons.
post #16 of 16
Re: who is Gary Ezzo..

Check out this website. It's filled with lots of informative stuff about why he and what he preaches are so bad. And includes the AAP, AAFP, ACOG and others slamming him and his book. Good reading!

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