I need to make a tough decision. Any input appreciated! - Page 2

[gossamerwindweb]

I do have to admit that my response is mostly knee jerk. My dad died from cancer a year and a half ago and a friend of ours who was in her early 30s died a couple months ago from... melanoma. I guess my main thought if it were me would be "if I wait 2 or 3 more weeks, will it move to my lymph nodes if it isnt' there now?" I mean, what are the chances that you would be cancer free after one surgery if you did it now than if you waited a few weeks... could it move in that time period? Is it likely to? I assume you asked your oncologist these questions, but I just want to let you know... AGAIN... that I fully support whatever decision you choose.

[Altair]

Personally, I would induce at weeks 37-38. And I know firsthand the intense, godawful pain of losing the birth you want. But with my father passing away any day now from cancer, I wouldn't mess with it.

If you need any donated milk, please PM me. I have a freezer full I don't think I'll ever need.

[saimeiyu]

Sorry, DDC crashing-- couldn't read and not respond.

My first thought was that inducing at 36 or 37 weeks would be a really prudent idea.

But, then, you know, if the baby's not done yet... You could have a baby in the NICU AND be recovering from surgery and starting chemo/radiation... I think the stress might be too much for me.

There is another concern, though, and that's how will the surgery be affected if you end up with a c/s? Will it be a lot harder to recover? Does it make the cancer surgery riskier? Will the chances of needing a transfusion increase? If you get an infection from one, will it delay your surgery? I would guess that your immune system probably isn't functioning super-great right now. If you try to induce at 36 or 37 weeks to speed up the surgery, and your body isn't ready, you could end up recovering from two surgeries at once. Is that doable?

What about starting steroids for the baby's lungs and EPO/herbs or some acupuncture or something to really help your body get ready to go into labor, and then seeing if you can wait just a bit for labor to start?

Can you get a CT scan or something while you're pregnant? (I have no idea) to maybe get an idea of how big is the main mass now and a week from now so you can get an idea of how fast from week to week it is growing? If there is no way to know until the surgery, I don't think I would wait too long to go into labor.

Is there a possibility that steroids or pregnancy hormones might make the cancer worse? Is there any way to know?

Just some things I'd consider. How much difference does the oncologist think a few weeks to a month will make?

I think in the end, I would be doing everything in my power to start getting my body for labor in the hope that I'd go naturally by 38 weeks, and I'd induce if I got to 38 weeks.

I think I'd end up doing a LOT of praying, everything imaginable to speed my body and my baby's readiness, no matter how fruitcake-sounding, and aim for avoiding the induction if at all possible, but that's because I just can't imagine having to recover from a c/s AND cancer surgery all in the same two months or so. I mean, if I thought it was my only chance for survival, you bet your bottom dollar I'd be doing it. But I'd want to make as sure as certain can be that this really is my best bet before doing it.

This must be an awful, hard decision to make and I can certainly understand not knowing which way to go. It could be SO important to do this right away... and yet it might not be...

I am sure if you listen to your heart, you will end up making the right/ best decision. Good luck mama!

[georgiegirl1974]

What a difficult decision. I'd probably get the steroid shots and induce at 37 weeks. DH is a radiation oncologist, and cancer really freaks me out.

[Sarahstw]

Some things to consider:
* Being induced before term significantly increases the likelihood of induction failure, which would then land you in a c/section. If you think about the fact that with a regular hospital birth your chances are already 1 in 3 for a section... the odds don't look that great.
* If you did end up with a c/section - will they have to postpone your surgery further due to the increased healing time and/or complications (which are also common)?
* If you were in Canada you'd be waiting at least a month to six weeks for surgery... that's just how long things take up here.

hang in there.

[notjustmamie]

I don't have any pros or cons to add, but I couldn't read this without sending a or !

May you be blessed with peace and health, whatever decision you make.

[Quindin]

I am against inductions before term - except for situations where the life of mama and baby are at risk.
You don't know how fast the cancer will spread. And you want to do everything in your power to make sure you will get healthy for your baby.
Inducing now might not be the ideal in most peoples cases, but yours is very different.
I would induce NOW and attack this cancer asap.
These are extraordinary circumstances, mama

Continuing to pray for you!

[minimunklemama]

DDC crashing,
First off.I am so sorry that you having to deal with this.
Flat out I would induce.
Reason being.I knew someone that this happened to.they found her cancer at 34 weeks,they waited,and waited for the baby to come on it's own.They didn't realise that the cancer was spreading so fast

She was such a lovely lady.she wished that she hadn't have waited.And now it is too late and she is gone.

I hope you don't mind me sharing this.I am only doing so as she would stress to anyone that discussed it with her,don't waste time,time is precious.I just feel like I should share it as I know she would want me to.

Don't waste any time Mama.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

[bananababies]

s I'm sorry you have to be faced with such a difficult decision. You're in my thoughts.

[geo_girl]

what a tough spot.

It is so difficult when you don't have all of the information on the stage of the cancer.

I would say do whatever is going to give you the maximum amount of strength. You are going to need lots of energy for the baby, not to mention for your own fight.

...will the medication required for a c-section have any effect on your surgery? i.e. will there have to be any delays until you get the meds out of your system?

We are thinking of, and praying for you and your family.
charlene

[leighann79]

No advice here, just hugs. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I have no idea what I would do in your situation. Know that you are in my thoughts.
((((HUGS)))

[Spring Sun]

Sorry to jump in here again, but I have been thinkng about you. I know we can only help you so much, and you have probably had a long 24 hours already discussing this with your family. I wanted to share one more thing.

I got very, very sick when ds was a toddler. Not cancer, but something that is very panful and hard on the body (crohn's). Even though I know that I could knock it out right away with steriods, I choose to only go on a half dose so that I could keep breastfeeding ds as we were going through a really ahrd time for other reasons and I thought it would be awful to take away the breast at a moment like that.

I would have to say it was one of the worst choices I have ever made in my life, and if I had it to do over again, I would take the drugs in a second. I ended up so sick that I could hardley move for a year. I had to stop bfing him two months later anyways, and I was in so much pain I was not a good mother. By the time I went on the full steriods I was too sick for them to help. So I went through a year of trying a bunch of different drugs, and ended up on a intense infusion that I had to do every few weeks (like chemo).

I think it is best to remember that we should do our best when we are able to for our children. That nothing is absolute. If you gave the choice to your child when they are an adult, what do you think they would pick? It is way too risky for you, imo, and that means risky to your baby's welfare while growing up.

Let us know how else we could support you!

[NaturalMindedMomma]

I'm DDC crashing...

Babies born at 32-34 weeks are less likely to have a NICU stay than babies born at 35-36 weeks, statistically. Just some food for thought.

Could you wait to induce until 37-38 weeks? I know with Cancer it's very serious and you want to get to it asap, but I think 2-3 weeks could make a huge difference for your little one.

You also have to think that if your body is not favorable for an induction, an induction will just NOT work. Then you will have a C section, making recovery harder and further complicating your surgery for the cancer, I am assuming. All important things to think about. I am so so sorry your going through this. I am not sure you are religious, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers mama.

[Quindin]

I am sorry, but I think the this mama knows very well that evicting the baby before he/she is ready is not ideal. No need to remind her of statistics and numbers.
Her case is extraordinary, and what is best for the baby ultimately, is to have a healthy mama for for many years to come.
I too know of people whose cancer develop faster than thy could have imagine. There really isn't any time to waste. 2-3 weeks may make all the difference!
Your baby will be just fine born now mama! Don't feel bad if induction is the choice you need to take, even if it ends up in c-section.

[NaturalMindedMomma]

Originally Posted by Quindin

I am sorry, but I think the this mama knows very well that evicting the baby before he/she is ready is not ideal. No need to remind her of statistics and numbers.
Her case is extraordinary, and what is best for the baby ultimately, is to have a healthy mama for for many years to come.
I too know of people whose cancer develop faster than thy could have imagine. There really isn't any time to waste. 2-3 weeks may make all the difference!
Your baby will be just fine born now mama! Don't feel bad if induction is the choice you need to take, even if it ends up in c-section.

I'm sorry, I was not trying to be rude, She asked for imput as she has not made her decision yet and I wanted to offer something that could sway her decision. I myself did not KNOW that statistic. She is ASKING for suggestions, is she not? Offering a suggestion with no facts is not really helpful in my eyes.

And ending up with a C SECTION may delay her goal of getting at teh cancer faster than she would if she went naturally. That would defeat the purpose of the induction.

[majorsky]

Originally Posted by Love

I would do all I could to get the cancer. Even induce a slightly early baby. I had DD 100% naturally (although it was a surprise!) at 36 weeks, and she was born pink, breathing, and happy. So 36 weeks is not that bad, IMO.

Your baby is coming very soon no matter what- and she needs a mom. I would do what I needed to do to make sure she has one. She is not going to care what kind of birth she had if she doesn't have you.

I second this comment.

Kristin

[vonn's_mama]

Oh, what a difficult decision. I can't say what I would do. At first I was leaning one way and then I was leaning the other. I wanted to say that I donated 3 gallons of milk to the Austin Milk Bank while bfing my ds, and if bfing becomes a major issue, they might be a good option. I know I would be concerned that an early baby really needs breast milk, but that your testing and treatment might make that difficult, so I wanted to be sure that you know about the milk bank.

My heart is with you. It seems to me that you and your dh just have to make the best decision you can with the information you have now and then not second guess it.

[snowmom5]

I would induce, even if it ends in a section. Without even blinking.

Good luck with your decision.

[fawnanddoe]

Thank you so much for all of the input. I have read through all of the responses and my husband and I have been talking about it a great deal. It's definitely one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make. I am also going to talk with my midwife at our appointment on Wednesday.

I think that we have decided to go ahead and induce. I will not induce before 37 weeks, so I have a couple of weeks at least. We will be getting referred to an OB by our midwife, so I will be more comfortable with them than just some random OB. I really don't want to do this, but I also don't want to potentially wait 7 weeks and then a week or two after that. I want to be able to breastfeed as much as possible before the surgery and hopefully we can stock up on some donated breastmilk for the couple days that I can't breastfeed. My surgeon told me that after 48 hours after the surgery I should be ok to breastfeed, I just need to pump for those two days to get all that milk out.
If I end up in a c/s it will not affect my surgery. I will still be able to go in for the surgery, although my recovery will not be easy.
I am really heartbroken that I have to make my decision. I have thought about waiting and I just can't justify waiting because of the what if's. I have very good odds that it hasn't spread, but there's that small chance that it could have already spread, and if I was that small chance and I decided to wait I would beat myself up over the fact that I could have probably made it a lot easier for myself and baby by just getting it over with. It's true that baby needs a mom, and I need to be able to be a mom. This baby is our life!

[dmariev]

fawnanddoe- you are in my thoughts and prayers. Only you can make this decision, and of course it's not an easy one. Trust yourself, you know what's best for you and baby!