Can I call it a home birth if it's not MY home?

[daisymommy]

This may sound like a silly question. But here goes. I've always wanted to have a home birth. With both of my other 2 kids, due to medical reasons I had them with midwives in the hospital (still totally natural drug-free births). This 3rd baby will likely be my last, and our insurance will not pay for me to have a home birth. We are currently in no financial position to pay out of pocket for it

That said, they will pay 100% for me to deliver at the "birthing center" which is an old Victorian house (100 yr. historical building!) where the bedrooms are used for labor and delivery, as well as "check-ups". Funny that the insurance company will pay for me to deliver in someone else's old house, but not my own

So, when people ask me "what hospital are you delivering at?" and I tell them "I'm not, I'm delivering at a birthing center", they say, "Oh, okay, at which hospital?"--once again, I'm like--"No, a HOMEBIRTHING, DRUG-FREE, ALL-NATURAL, NO DOCTORS BIRTHING CENTER! That is not part of any hospital...it's free standing."

Call me crazy, but I just want people to see me for who I am and what I represent, and when I say birthing center, and they assume I mean the labor and delivery ward of the hospital, where every single person gets an epidural :--and I'm going to go through the pain of a natural delivery--well darn it, I want the proper bragging rights I'm due, ya know!

So, am I lying if I tell them I'm having a home birth if it's someone else's home...just not my own? Okay, maybe just a white lie

[GoldmanBaby09]

I'd say if the structure you are delivering in would be classified as a house, you got your self a homebirth!

[littlebb]

I agree with PP. It's like someone going to Ina May Gaskin's Farm - technically not your house, but still homebirth-oriented. I'd personally say I was planning a homebirth and if it came up, explain the birthing center that is really like someone else's house. I hope that made sense - I'm tired and feel like I'm reaching for words tonight

[notjustmamie]

I'm in virtually the same position: homebirth with a CPM is illegal in my state so I'm planning to birth at a private home a few miles across the state border. If anybody randomly asks, I say I'm planning a homebirth. If they're actually interested in more information, I'll give it to them.

P.S. Congrats on finding an alternative that you insurance will cover!

[daisymommy]

Oh goodie! Yep, I'd call it a house--a 3 story house, where laboring women walk up and down the stairs to get things moving along (so I'm told!) And a fireplace in each room...swoon. If only I weren't delivering in August, how nice cozy would that be!

I still can't figure out why insurance companies figure if it's called a "birthing center" it must therefore be "medically safer" than my own home though I guess it's a good thing they haven't been there! LOL!

[BelovedBird]

Here in Israel it's the opposite. Birthing centers are totally illegal but homebirth isn't. Insurance doesn't cover it though. The 2 "birthing centers" in the country are legally the midwives homes and you are legally homeebirthing there.

[littlebb]

Originally Posted by BelovedBird

Here in Israel it's the opposite. Birthing centers are totally illegal but homebirth isn't. Insurance doesn't cover it though. The 2 "birthing centers" in the country are legally the midwives homes and you are legally homeebirthing there.

Oh how I wish the United States would have the same attitude. How nice it must be that birth is seen as something natural and not a medical emergency in most cases! My new doctor's family (treated only for high blood pressure) is actually from Israel (he was born and raised here though) and he is the first and only doctor in the area I've met willing to accept and support my homebirth decision. I can tell his attitude is much different than your average doctor, and I'm so grateful for it. So far, he's been the only doctor willing to treat me simply because I'm planning a homebirth.

[jennyvangy]

I'm in the same position. I'm going to have a "hotel birth" because I have to drive across the Canada/USA border to deliver. I occasionally will tell people I am planning on delivering in a hotel, if they know my circumstances, but for the most part I just say I am having a homebirth.

[LisainCalifornia]

I guess I don't see the need for bragging rights--to me that is just petty and makes no difference. The important part is that you are getting the birth that you think is best for you and your baby. If they misunderstand the circumstances, I don't see a problem with saying "I really wanted a home birth, and this is the next best thing because it is very similar...". Most people that you are bragging to probably don't really care about what you are bragging about anyway! You are the one that cares because it effects you, but it probably doesn't impress most people.

[phrogger]

Call it a homebirth. I called mine a birth center birth, but that was because it wasn't even a home. However, it is what you are describing as far as it being free standing etc. and it was SOOOOO different from a hospital delivery. I think that is the important part to get across.

[BelovedBird]

Lisa- why do you think she is bragging, it seems to me she is just trying to be precise and truthful.

My last baby was born in a birthing center in the states. nWhen people didn't get what a BC was I said cross between a home and a dr.'s office, but no drs jusrt mws.

[wbg]

hey Mama its your birth...you can call it WHATEVER you want!!! Wishing you a beautiful magical home birthing journey...

[LisainCalifornia]

Originally Posted by BelovedBird

Lisa- why do you think she is bragging, it seems to me she is just trying to be precise and truthful.

Originally Posted by daisymommy

Call me crazy, but I just want people to see me for who I am and what I represent, and when I say birthing center, and they assume I mean the labor and delivery ward of the hospital, where every single person gets an epidural :--and I'm going to go through the pain of a natural delivery--well darn it, I want the proper bragging rights I'm due, ya know!

That is why I called it "bragging"--because she did. I think it is human nature to brag or want "bragging rights"--but it is often the petty part of human nature and best avoided if possible. This is the side of MDC that sort of bothers me, because I feel like people should just follow their own path, stay true to that and leave the bragging behind. The woman who goes into the hospital and has her epidural--well, that is her story and she shouldn't be made to feel like it is less worthy than a homebirth story.

[Kirsten]

I wouldn't call it a homebirth for a few reasons.

One, it isn't. You are then in a conversation where you may need to either 'fess up or follow with more lies. "Oh, it must have been nice not to have to deal with contractions in the car!" "Uhhhh, ya..." "How did you keep your bed from being ruined/how did you clean out the tub/etc" "Uhhhh, wasn't as hard as you'd think..."

Two, it is a great opportunity to educate people you know or come in contact with on birth options! If more people did this, it would become more common. Lots of people think only super-fringe, ultra hippy folks birth out of hospital. Help make it a choice that people consider, instead of them assuming that everyone births in the hospital.

But I do understand the bragging rights part. I had dd1 in a hospital with a midwife - totally natural, not an IV or anything. Dd2 was born in a freestanding birth center. Dd3 was born at home. I am very proud of all three natural births, but also very proud of my out of hospital births especially. It bucks a system that is flawed and getting worse by the day, and I am proud of that! All three of my births were natural, but the second and third I was more educated, more trusting of my body/experience, past worrying about society's "what if" scare tactics. Yes, I'm a little braggy about it! But I want to use it to show other women that it is a wonderful option. And I am unendingly proud that I have that example for my daughters!

[brendaziz]

I totally know how you feel.
We were looking into a birthing center that was the same thing.
And I found it SO strange that Kaiser would cover the "center" but not the SAME services/midwives eveyrthing at home.

I ended up choosing hospital again b/c we need the insurance to cover it- and the center is just too far from my house for it to be realistic w/ my super speedy labors.

But it makes NO sense why they won't cover it at my home. And it is funny how most people assume a birthing center woudl be in/attached to a hospital.

The whole thing is really strange actaully- i feel like they only even have the "birthing center" b/c it seems more legit to some people.
Even my mom was like "well i'd be ok w/ the birth center but home worries me a bit"- but it literally is the SAME thing. Just someone else's bed/home as opposed to my own.

[mommy2maya]

Both of the local birthcenters near me are in houses, and I've never heard anyone who birthed at either of them call it anything but a birth center birth.

[mommy2maya]

Originally Posted by brendaziz

The whole thing is really strange actaully- i feel like they only even have the "birthing center" b/c it seems more legit to some people.
Even my mom was like "well i'd be ok w/ the birth center but home worries me a bit"- but it literally is the SAME thing. Just someone else's bed/home as opposed to my own.

Well, the reasoning with the two closest to me are that they are a stone's throw from the hospital- literally across the street. So if for any reason there is a need for emergency transport, it is across the street and not across town.

[brendaziz]

Originally Posted by mommy2maya

Well, the reasoning with the two closest to me are that they are a stone's throw from the hospital- literally across the street. So if for any reason there is a need for emergency transport, it is across the street and not across town.

yeah- the ones by us are pretty close to the hospital- but my house is actually closer to my hospital than the center is to its.
It woudl be nice if they had some sort of stipulation like "If your house is less than x miles than we'll cover homebirth, but if it's more than x miles, then you have to do it at the birthcenter"
haha, only worded way more eloquently!

[hapersmion]

I call my birth at the Farm (in their Meditation House) an out-of-hospital birth, but I'm a stickler. I think you can call it whatever you want, until the Birth Language Police come for you.

[nashvillemidwife]

Can you call it a car birth if you have the baby in someone else's car?

(That's rhetorical.)