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large age gap: call them half siblings? - Page 2

post #21 of 30
My dh's children are older than me. Dh and I have two children together. We're not close at all (nothing to do with us-they've have't had a good relationship in some years) so I honetly consider them nothing to my children.

My dd (10) gets PISSED OFF if someone says they are her "half sisters." She quickly sets them straight and lets them know they are her "sisters." Period.

I have a technical half-sister who I am 16yo older than her. She's not my "half-sister" she's my "sister." Period.
post #22 of 30
Thread Starter 
2Pinks: i'm a little confused... are you saying that your DH's children are nothing to your children, but your own daughter is pissed off if someone calls her younger sisters "half"?
post #23 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post
2Pinks: i'm a little confused... are you saying that your DH's children are nothing to your children, but your own daughter is pissed off if someone calls her younger sisters "half"?
nothing to be confused about. my dh's children know of our children together and have NEVER publicly or privately acknowledged them in any way, shape, or form. Same goes for our marriage. So absolutely, they are NOTHING to my children. Never will be. I've already informed my dh that if his relationship with his children improve (and I sincerely hope it does. I've been trying to get my dh to email them but I don't think he has) that they will have nothing to do with our children. My 10yo worships and adores her sisters and they love her to pieces as well.
post #24 of 30
I personally take offense to being informed that my siblings are half/step or adopted. They are my brothers and sisters! I don't think the blood matters and really why should anyone else care about the blood relation. I mean friends know if they need to or if it comes up. But as far as introductions I would never, even to a friend that already knows that a sister is a "half" sister, introduce my sister as a step sister or a half sister. It takes away from it...like they are less than the real thing. I don't have a 100% blood sibling. I have a brother adopted by only my mom, 3 half sisters from my mom, 3 half sisters from my dad, two step brothers, two step sisters, and three half brothers from my dad. Now seriously who cares who is what to whom! I can hardly keep it straight.

Oh and the age range is my being the oldest at 30 down to 5ish...I think
post #25 of 30
I have 2 sisters and 1 brother... and am 13 years older than the oldest of those 3. When I introduce them, they are introduced as brother and sisters. When I think of them, I think of them as brother and sisters.

Technically, they are "halfs" (different genetic father). When I have to explain the technicallity for some reason, I often slip up and call them "steps". Simply because explaining that technicality usually comes immediately after I've had to clarify that the man I think of and refer to as "dad" is really my stepdad, and I have a different father too.

In my case, it is not lack of knowledge of the reality of our legal relationship. It is a slip of the tongue caused precisely by the fact that that particular legal distinction ("half" vs. "step") is of no bearing on our relationship, emotionally irrevelant, and not part of how I think of any of them (siblings and dad).
post #26 of 30
My step daughter is a bit older than my bio kids but not as much as yours (10 yrs). She called her (half) brother a step brother for a long time, and I think in her case it was a bit of passive aggression re: the siblings she never wanted. But in your case it sounds like possibly a slip of the tongue. I wouldn't address it with her but I would use the term "sister" around her to normalize the relationship.
post #27 of 30
I have an adult step-daughter as well. When we have children I will refer to her as their sister in day to day conversation because I don't see a need to constantly draw attention to the "half". However we will make it clear to our children that she has a different mother and when talking to adults I would refer to her as their half-sister or my step daughter out of respect to her mother.
post #28 of 30
Really, I think it depends on the relationship. My father has a daughter the same age as my daughter with his girlfriend. I was never close to my father and am not close to his daughter. I don't think of her as a sister. I refer to her as my father's daughter.
post #29 of 30
DS is 3 1/2 and DSD is almost 12. DS knows that his sister has a different mommy, but she is his sister (or "Sissy" as he calls her). We have never used the word half with him. DSD calls him her brother when she is around us, but I know she calls him her half-brother when she is with her mother/at school. It's fine. All 4 of DSD's siblings are technically halfs to her, but the three on her mother's side she refers to as just sisters/brother. She is not as bonded to DS as she is to her siblings on her mom's side, mostly because she was 8 years old when DS was born, and does not live with us full-time, so it is hard to bond. She is good to him, though, and would never use the world half in talking to him, or at our house at all.
post #30 of 30
My wife has a 1 and 3 year old little sister from step mom and dad. I'm not going to lie, it's strange with everyone. Sure we all act like its normal but it's more like they are nieces than sisters. We are having a girl in two weeks and I'm sure that is going to be strange.
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