Moms of Many It's June! - Page 2

[Jannah6]

Originally Posted by Anglyn

They never have a clue, you have to say, "Honey, take your chldren and give me five minutes peace adn quiet before I snap and hurt you all"

I know, it's a shame, isn't it? Trouble is, I'm barely speaking to him cuz I'm so angry. I started writing him a letter, but got angry and tired of saying the same things, so I just saved it in my email. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I'm letting my youngest DS watch t.v right now because I don't feel like the fight that accompanies bedtime, oh the joys of motherhood

[Anglyn]

Originally Posted by Jannah6

I know, it's a shame, isn't it? Trouble is, I'm barely speaking to him cuz I'm so angry. I started writing him a letter, but got angry and tired of saying the same things, so I just saved it in my email. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I'm letting my youngest DS watch t.v right now because I don't feel like the fight that accompanies bedtime, oh the joys of motherhood

I dont even mess with bedtime anymore! Well, what I do is, I turn off all lights but one small lamp in thelivingroom and let them watch tv (this works best if they've had no tv allday, they are glued). Once I know they are settled in, I just go to bed, leaving them in the livingroom with dh, who is ususally on the computer. Magically they either ask dh for what they want or they wander in to find me, then climb in bed with me and go to sleep (or nurse to sleep). I am getting more sleep than I have in years! I wish I'd thought of it way before now!

[flapjack]

Ye gads, I've been up for half an hour dealing with nosebleeds and a boobmonster and it's not even 6am yet. It's going to be a LOOOONG day today.

I hit snapped yesterday too, and the cranky mummy manifesto went up on the fridge.

1) If you leave me to pick up your rubbish, you're telling me I AM RUBBISH. If you leave your s*** for me to flush, you're telling me I AM S***. It's rude.
2) I am busting a gut to keep the house cleaner and tidier than ever before. Stop laughing at me. I'm not a wifelet, not a stepford wife, and I don't deserve it.
3) Wash your own damn dishes. Or cook your own dinner. I don't mind which, but I'm fed up with doing both.
4) There's an alternative. I keep wasting my time on picking up after people, and never get the cleaning done so I pay someone to do the cleaning instead. It's going to cost £56 every fortnight to have someone come and clean the house, plus another £15 to get someone to do your ironing. That's 3 and a half hours work. AND a professional won't do the laundry, OR the washing up, OR the putting away of toys and clutter, OR flush the toilet. That's the cost of a trip to Legoland EVERY SINGLE MONTH unless you start tidying up after yourself. Your choice.

And yes, I'm slightly annoyed right now.

[Anglyn]

Originally Posted by flapjack

Ye gads, I've been up for half an hour dealing with nosebleeds and a boobmonster and it's not even 6am yet. It's going to be a LOOOONG day today.

I hit snapped yesterday too, and the cranky mummy manifesto went up on the fridge.

1) If you leave me to pick up your rubbish, you're telling me I AM RUBBISH. If you leave your s*** for me to flush, you're telling me I AM S***. It's rude.
2) I am busting a gut to keep the house cleaner and tidier than ever before. Stop laughing at me. I'm not a wifelet, not a stepford wife, and I don't deserve it.
3) Wash your own damn dishes. Or cook your own dinner. I don't mind which, but I'm fed up with doing both.
4) There's an alternative. I keep wasting my time on picking up after people, and never get the cleaning done so I pay someone to do the cleaning instead. It's going to cost £56 every fortnight to have someone come and clean the house, plus another £15 to get someone to do your ironing. That's 3 and a half hours work. AND a professional won't do the laundry, OR the washing up, OR the putting away of toys and clutter, OR flush the toilet. That's the cost of a trip to Legoland EVERY SINGLE MONTH unless you start tidying up after yourself. Your choice.

And yes, I'm slightly annoyed right now.

ROTF!!!! I came home after working all day the other day (fil lives with us and his only job is looking after the kids while we work) and threw down dishes and announced that if Im expected to not only work all day, grocery shop, errand run, bill pay, cook dinner AND do dishes....(I do all of it but the dishes normally but lately Icome home to every.single.dish.in the entire house dirty!) then I stop cooking. I then didnt cook dinner for three nights in a row. Miracle of miracles, the dishes were all done today!!!

[DreamsInDigital]

DH and I just recently switched roles and now he's the stay at home parent. I'm in school and looking for work. He now has a new perspective on why I was sometimes such a frazzled mess when he'd come home from work. LOL

[orangefoot]

My dh knows EXACTLY what a job it is to be at home with the mad people and stop the place turning into a jumble sale but he can still decide that he won't do anything because it is too hard and he doesn't know where to start.

Last night I got home after work to all the dishes were still on the table and the floor was a minefield. Ds2 had pulled dd's new scooter handlebars up so high that they couldn't push them down again. Ds1 had going out when I did and then come home to play his harmonica so the girls wouldn't go to bed because he was being noisy. And they had lost the remote for the tv so the watch on demand menu screen was layered on top of the channel it had last been on which was a real life hospital thing.

Dh hadn't tackled the dishes because someone had tipped a half eaten plate of tuna and pasta over the edge of the sink and he just couldn't face it:headbang

I asked him who he thought was going to have to face it then and stomped into the kitchen.

He hasn't twigged then leaving me to clear up mess makes him very sexually unattractive:

Helen ~ My sympathy. I need a manifesto for my fridge.

Jannah to you too

Communal living might be the answer don't you think? A friend of mine said to me last week that she thinks expecting us to raise kids with a husband is a bit unrealistic...

[Jannah6]

Originally Posted by Anglyn

I dont even mess with bedtime anymore! Well, what I do is, I turn off all lights but one small lamp in thelivingroom and let them watch tv (this works best if they've had no tv allday, they are glued). Once I know they are settled in, I just go to bed, leaving them in the livingroom with dh, who is ususally on the computer. Magically they either ask dh for what they want or they wander in to find me, then climb in bed with me and go to sleep (or nurse to sleep). I am getting more sleep than I have in years! I wish I'd thought of it way before now!

I feel you. H came home and went on the PC. I left the two of them and went to bed. I woke up at 5, feeling refreshed.

Ladies,ladies,ladies can we get a .

It amazes me, the H told me about 2 months ago that he knew it was difficult and a lot of work, but he still acts like he has no clue

[Anglyn]

Sometimes you have to demand that your needs get met.

[fairymom]

I get to a point where I demand help (really i mean blow my lid) and then realize its sad I have to get to that point to actually get the help I have been asking for.

This last time my ex was here and my blow up was so bad HE ended up doing the dishes!lol


Why does it have to go to such extremes? Can't we just say I need help- this needs to be done. And my expectations aren't that high- even asking 5 times but still having it done would be nice!

I started something new last night w/dishes. I aksed who was going to wash the dishes and my ds4 and dd7 (the 2 youngest besides babe) VOLUNTEERED! Ofcourse the olders didn't but they were informed they'd be doing them tonight- but they do get to decided how they will work as a team. I was so proud of the littles and they did a good job!:

[holyhelianthus]

WARNING!! really unhappy down right depressed pregnant woman vent coming...

Originally Posted by fairymom

I get to a point where I demand help (really i mean blow my lid) and then realize its sad I have to get to that point to actually get the help I have been asking for.

This last time my ex was here and my blow up was so bad HE ended up doing the dishes!lol


Why does it have to go to such extremes? Can't we just say I need help- this needs to be done. And my expectations aren't that high- even asking 5 times but still having it done would be nice!

Originally Posted by Anglyn

Sometimes you have to demand that your needs get met.

But then there are those of us who can cry scream demand ask as sweet as pie all we want and we still don't get the help we need. :

I am pregnant with twins and on bedrest. My mother who lives in the same apartment complex, doesn't work, has no other responsibility (she wouldn't acknowledge responsibility if it was Godzilla tearing her limb from limb) and has always used us when she needed a place to stay, food, money, etc won't lift a finger to help me. My husband is clueless. It's not that he doesn't want to help he just does not get how much has to be done. He thinks "what I put in a load of laundry isn't that good enough?" uh, no. I'm just sick of my house and my kids being absolutely filthy. I have realized this pregnancy how really alone I am and I am just not happy at all. I have been such a bad mom with such a short temper. I snap at my kids all the time. My doc is on me to get off my feet but I have already cut way back simply because of the pain and exaustian and I just have to deal with it. I am down to doing what I HAVE to and I do have to do it. I have to chase the little ones when they get the front door open, I have to feed them, change them, come when they break yet something else, etc etc. And trust me I have screamed and cussed and cried and begged and nothing. Nada. DH still doesn't get it and my mom still doesn't care.

This morning I woke up at 5am after yet another night of hardly being able to sleep and my stomach was hurting so bad I had to hold it up even in bed- it felt like some invisible thing was trying to rip it off my body. I feel realy yucky and shakey and can't even eat. And of course my DH is at work, mom is doing whatever else, and my kids are in brat ( mode. All I relaly want to do is sit here and cry and I can't even muster the energy to do that. Yeah I know, I sound pathetic and wah wah wah. Sorry. DH called and wanted to know why I am being so snippy with him and I wanted to blow up "hello! I have asked you so many times to do at least a few loads of laundry because we have nothing to wear and I trip over the dirty laundry all day and you haven't. The dishes are piling up. The trash is overflowing. You, yet again, didn't give the kids enough to eat before you left and you didn't dress them. But yes forgive me for being snippy!"

Ok sorry for that vent! I do get what you are saying. I have to blow a fuse just to get the trash taken out. It's ridiculous after all we do.

[Full Heart]

The rule in our house is that if you are capable of messing it up, you are capable of cleaning it up. The dishes are on a rotating schedule. 2 kids put it away together one day, another 2 the next day. One does the top rack, the other the bottom rack. Now, its not done how *I* would do it but I have learned to let it go.

Fairymom - my 5 yr old the other day volunteered to do the dishes when I asked whose turn it was. And he did a pretty good job too.

Dh is pretty good about helping out. He knows how hard it is. But if the need isn't immediate I hope its not something important cause he will forget to do it. There is a crock pot sitting there and has been for days with spaghetti in it cause dh said he would take care of it and forgot. And I refuse to do it cause I want him to realize he forgot AGAIN. Hes really really bad about saying he will do something and then forgetting to do it.

[AllisonK]

Maggie I wish I was closer! I would come over everyday and help you out. Is there anyone near you who can come and help? I bet a few local to you MDC mamas would be willing.

Its busy here but not much to say so back to lurking.

[holyhelianthus]

Thanks. Sorry about the vent again

We are moving in 2 weeks and women from our church are coming to help me unpack (or rather to have me sit there and direct them where to put things). The packing DH and a friend of his have down. They seem to actually enjoy it.

I'm thankful the women at church are so willing to help and I should ask for more but I hate being a burden. To me it just seems like my mother is right there and has nothing else to do but sleep all day so I have no problem asking her, ykwim?

Thanks again

[orangefoot]

Originally Posted by magstphil

I should ask for more but I hate being a burden.

I'm sure the ladies from church don't see you as a burden! They probably see a woman being overtaken by a belly who has other little ones and a lot that needs doing.

You need help now and you have people who are willing to be there for you. When you are feeling stronger and you are able to, you will be there for them. It all goes around and sometimes you have to remind yourself that you really DO need help!

[mclisa]

Will be back shortly.

Moved into the new house. Mostly unpacked.

having a baby who prefers his bottles from daddy rather than straight from the tap from mom issues

[holyhelianthus]

: on the move! Sorry about the BF issues

[flapjack]

Michelle. Happy house, good luck getting the baby back to the boobie!

Maggie. Take the help. Sometimes the kindness of strangers is necessary to get you back to believing in human nature. As someone who survives depression, I'm pretty sure that if your mum isn't doing more, it's because right now she can't- be gentle with her, please.
Orangefoot, I'm in for the commune.

[holyhelianthus]

There is a long long long history of this sort of thing with my mom not taking care of her responsibilities. She is very toxic. We need her out of our lives. It just goes to show how desperate we are that we were asking her for help. I feel like a total idiot for asking and for allowing her in our lives for as long as we have. This pregnancy just has me very depleted and very worried.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So we are moving in a few weeks and the closets in this place a very tiny! We have 3 girls sharing a room and the twins in the other. Our closets now are twice the size of the closets where we are going and the girl's current closet hardly holds their stuff. Any suggestions? I really do want to downsize but there is only so much we can do with 3 kids sharing a closet.

[Jannah6]

Originally Posted by magstphil

So we are moving in a few weeks and the closets in this place a very tiny! We have 3 girls sharing a room and the twins in the other. Our closets now are twice the size of the closets where we are going and the girl's current closet hardly holds their stuff. Any suggestions? I really do want to downsize but there is only so much we can do with 3 kids sharing a closet.

Same thing happened with us. We have started using under the bed storage.

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by Jannah6

Same thing happened with us. We have started using under the bed storage.

I was so excited thinking "that'll work!" and then I realized they have a trundle underneath their bed. We pull it out and make the twin a king sized bed for all 3 to sleep on. It's a really small room which is another issue. I'm not entirely sure we could fit a dresser in there if we came across one.