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Originally Posted by Susana  aww, thank you for asking!! 
It was all right. We went out to the lake where MIL's mom lives. Her mom is 87 and lives alone and has been sick, so MIL has been out there now and then taking care of her. She had been emailing me, telling me how stressed she was taking care of an elderly sick parent. Yeh. BTDT.
anyway, great grandma fell down while we were all out there and my SIL and I ran to help her up. MIL told us that's been happening a lot.
while we were all in the kitchen (my hubby's side of the family) getting pizza, my MIL tells us all she wants to talk to us about what to do with her mother since she is so ill, falls a lot, and won't leave her house. MIL wanted us to "put on our thinking caps" and help her figure out what to do. Then she says in front of everyone-"Susana, maybe you can tell us all about nursing homes since you had your mom and dad in one before they died last year."
Mom and dad were in 2 places for 2 weeks together-rehab places. we thought they were going to rehab together for awhile and come home, which never happened. The whole thing pretty much traumatizes me to this day. MIL knows it.
other than that stuff, the lake was lovely. MIL's mom and her girlfriend who was also there were lovely to talk to.
We went to see fireworks in our own neighborhood that night with some friends and that was nice.
thank you for wondering how I did that weekend! I think I need to accept that MIL is kind of a doink and move on, and keep my communication with her to a minimum. Obviously, huh!! |
Susana,
I am glad you enjoyed the holiday weekend! I was actually thinking of you when I was watching fireworks for the 4th. It is so important to find joy while still in the stages of grief. (I do the same.) I was trying to catch the fireworks on my digital camera!
Have you reminded your MIL that you need time away from E-mail? Or has you DH mentioned or reminded it to her? Your MIL is going into a new area of her life, caring for her mom (your grandma-in-law). Let your hubby answer her e-mails in general, but especially questions about his gram, if you still cannot. However, if you have a special relationship with gram-in-law, nuture this (cards, a phone call, a visit, etc.) because it is the right thing to do (IMHO) since Gram-in-law is 87! This of course, depends on how much energy and focus you and your family can muster in this short time since your parents passed away.
I sure hope MIL is taking Gram to a dr. for this falling. It could be major or minor, but gram sure needs to be checked out! She sure does not need to break a bone! I have known may older folks who fall or faint. They go to the dr. and low and behold, it can be an adjustment in meds, to a blocked artery going to the brain (usually fixable), to a pinched nerve in the neck, which means Gram doesn't necessarily need to be shoved (my interpretation) into a nursing home. You know, as I know from my previous post, caring for our parents has great reward.
: --Perhaps, that is the simplest reply you gan give to MIL: "Find the reward in caring for your mother as I did with my parents". Only if you know of the resources in the community, could you give that info to DH who can pass it on to MIL. (Many communities have caregivers support groups and Office of the Aging agencies, does MIL know this?}
It has made me very happy to have found your thread. Your experience has helped me feel less alone at my stage of grieving and to support my aunt and brother-in-law's parents where I can who have lost other family members in the past 10 months. Thanks, Susana!
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