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S/O "Please Don't Shoot My Child"

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
One of those things that I never really pictured myself needing to say, yk?

We don't do gun play (not just my choice, but also the preference of my older girls- 8 and 4.5) and although I do cringe at guns (squirt and otherwise) I would like to avoid coming across as the mom who dictates the ways that other kids play, so...

Is the statement in my title enough or is there another way to word this? If parents have said this to your child, how did they/you react?

We've had kids outright 'shoot' my children after I have said something, and others who have decided to put their guns away so they could play with us :

(trying really hard not to start a gun debate, btw Just wondering..)

Thanks!
post #2 of 14
Hmm, have you encountered us at the park, perhaps?

My 2 yo shoots everybody. My 4 yo has more comprehension of what shooting is. He is still OBSESSED with guns, but he knows not to shoot people. But my 2 yo doesn't really get it, he just thinks it is something you do. So, yeah, if it really bothers you, I think that statement would suffice. At least to express to the parents of the shooter that you didn't like it. We never bring guns with us, but my ds2 just shoots everyone with his fingers. So "putting his gun away" is, unfortunately, not really possible.
post #3 of 14
Thread Starter 
Yeah, there's def a difference between a two yr old with a hand and a bigger kid with a 'rifle'

I've never even had this problem with the smaller ones, and my girls are old enough to realize that little ones don't have as much 'control' as the preschool and up group..

This has mostly been an issue with energetic boys at the playground- girls seem to be more understanding and willing to accomodate us- and they want to play with us more often..

My 6 yr old nephew- however- is one of the ones who rarely listens to me (or anyone, for that matter). My grandparents (who he lives with) are always happy to put the guns away when we visit
post #4 of 14
I think that's fine enough. Gun play at the park irritates the crap out of me.

The only day dd was exposed to play guns was Mothers Day at the park. That one day has impacted her. So, now my sweet 2 yo who knows nothing about guns, points sticks and the garden hose at me and our dog telling us it's a gun and to "Go! Go! I shoot you!" If I could have Mother's Day back, I would have tore into those kids (in a nice way ).

To each their own opinion, but gun play in a public area should be banned. We are a family of guns...real guns in the house. The absolute last thing I wanted to teach my daughter was that guns are toys and to point them at people and shoot them : Cute.
post #5 of 14
My kids play with plastic guns all the time. I was raised in a family that is very PRO gun. We are also very PRO gun saftey. We teach them to handle toy guns as if they were real guns. If they don't respect the toy gun they get taken away that instant...though we've never had this problem. My grandpa is a 12 time state champion in clay shooting so I grew up being very comfortable with guns.
post #6 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MayBaby2007 View Post
I think that's fine enough. Gun play at the park irritates the crap out of me.

The only day dd was exposed to play guns was Mothers Day at the park. That one day has impacted her. So, now my sweet 2 yo who knows nothing about guns, points sticks and the garden hose at me and our dog telling us it's a gun and to "Go! Go! I shoot you!" If I could have Mother's Day back, I would have tore into those kids (in a nice way ).

To each their own opinion, but gun play in a public area should be banned. We are a family of guns...real guns in the house. The absolute last thing I wanted to teach my daughter was that guns are toys and to point them at people and shoot them : Cute.
That would be my ready.to.be.flamed opinion :

But don't worry- I'm not calling Obama quite yet..
post #7 of 14
Quote:
My kids play with plastic guns all the time. I was raised in a family that is very PRO gun. We are also very PRO gun saftey. We teach them to handle toy guns as if they were real guns. If they don't respect the toy gun they get taken away that instant...though we've never had this problem. My grandpa is a 12 time state champion in clay shooting so I grew up being very comfortable with guns.
I'm not trying to argue here, honest. I'm just curious what you mean by "We teach them to handle the toy guns as if they were real guns." So they aren't allowed to point the toy guns at people? What do they point them at? I'm not sure how a kid would handle a real gun anyway, so maybe that's why I'm confused. Shooting targets? Animals?

My DS is only 2 and has no idea what a gun is. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking other children to not "shoot" your child. I'd do the same thing, politely of course. If their parents were there and didn't stop them, and the kids continued, I would take my child and leave.
post #8 of 14
My son likes to shoot things. He doesn't own toy guns but he can transform anything into a gun. I try to teach him to only shoot people who are playing the game. A lot of girls don't like to be shot at. I think saying please don't shoot at us we are not playing is fine.
post #9 of 14
I think saying it just like you did in the title is fine. maybe if they are old enough to be clearly verbal you can say "my girls don't like to play gun games but really want to keep playing with you. can we think of something else to play?" if you are ok with gun play but not shooting people perhaps you could suggest they play some sort of target game or play some sort ot prairie family and the boys go off hunting while the girls do whatever the women at home want to do . . . . (playing little house was huge here . . ).
post #10 of 14
I think you'd be fine saying that. I know my boys at least would respect that.

Quote:
So they aren't allowed to point the toy guns at people? What do they point them at? I'm not sure how a kid would handle a real gun anyway, so maybe that's why I'm confused. Shooting targets? Animals?
This wasn't directed at me, but we have the same rule at our house. Toy guns aren't allowed and whatever it is that they turn into a gun cannot be pointed at a person. We also have real guns, we hunt, and we teach our boys about guns. They point them at trees, at fake animals, at whatever as long as it isn't a person.

My 3 year old has never touched a real gun. My 7 year old has shot a gun at targets but that's all so far.
post #11 of 14
another way you could approach it is to teach your daughters to be assertive in this kind of situation. Since you said that they don't like playing guns, and sind they are 8 and 4.5, they are probably in a pretty good position to do this. Now granted I don't have children of my own this age, but I do teach kindergarten and so I work with kids in group play situations every day... what I do with my students is I teach them that if someone is playing in a way that they don't want to play in, they can say something along the lines of, "I don't want to play that game, can we play xyz instead?" So if your girls are at the park and other kids are playing guns and "shooting" them, your girls could say, "I don't like playing guns and I don't want to be shot... maybe we could play tag (or whatever they want to play) instead." I think it's important to offer a different suggestion for play because that can help redirect energy.

The next step that I teach my kids is that sometimes the person who's doing whatever it is they don't like (especially if it's play) doesn't want to stop. And that's okay (unless what they're doing is hurtful). So in this case, after your girls ask the other children to stop shooting them, if the other children don't stop... well your girls have the option to find another group to play with or (if there aren't any other kids) to move away from the "gun play" area and find something else to do. Of course if your girls do all this and the other children are still "shooting" them, then I think it's okay to step in and say, "my girls have asked you to stop shooting them and they have invited you to play a different game with them. If you don't want to play their game, that's okay... but please don't pretend to shoot them anymore, they do not like that kind of game."

I'm a big believer that kids don't have to be friends with everyone and that it's okay for children to choose whether they want to play with a certain child(ren) in a certain way. That's the way things are in the real world.

I think if you encourage your girls to be assertive (not aggressive) about it, then 1)they are learning an important life skill--how to stand up for what they want in an appropriate way and 2)you don't have to come off as the mother who dictates the way other children play.
post #12 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by vegemamato View Post
One of those things that I never really pictured myself needing to say, yk?

We don't do gun play (not just my choice, but also the preference of my older girls- 8 and 4.5) and although I do cringe at guns (squirt and otherwise) I would like to avoid coming across as the mom who dictates the ways that other kids play, so...

Is the statement in my title enough or is there another way to word this? If parents have said this to your child, how did they/you react?

We've had kids outright 'shoot' my children after I have said something, and others who have decided to put their guns away so they could play with us :

(trying really hard not to start a gun debate, btw Just wondering..)

Thanks!
My boys "play guns" (usually because they're playing "Star Wars: the Clone Wars" and shooting battle droids.)

I wouldn't mind at all if you asked them. Your request is well within the scope for sharing space in a polite way. If you asked them, and then one of them shot at you anyway, I would be very happy if you told my kid that he is being rude and to knock it off.

I've done this myself. Last year at our pool, I asked some kids to not shoot a water gun at me. When one of them shot me anyway, I marched over and demanded that the kid give me the water gun because I had told him not to shoot me. I then gave the gun to the lifeguard for safe-keeping. The kid had to go find his mother and ask her to ask the guard to get his water gun back.
post #13 of 14
I think that is just fine. I can't stand gun play either. Having married a hunter, I have had to just bite my tongue b/c of our son. Dh is very safe, but I don't want the kids to get it in their heads they can play cops and robber. That drives me batty!!!!:
post #14 of 14
I agree it might be ideal for your own kids to just say if they were bothered themselves.

Of course, annoying cousins etc might see that as an opportunity to keep on doing it, but that is really a different kind of issue.
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