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~June Dating Thread~ Single Ladies!!! (put a ring on it) - Page 6

post #101 of 275
I am feeling REALLY alone tonight...

So I was looking forward to my friend's wedding earlier this evening. She is the first one in my circle of friends to be married so I was REALLY excited and was allowed to bring a date so I invited 2ndHusband earlier this week and he said yes and requested my hair his favorite way so I said ok to his request.

Well today everything fell apart ---

It took 3 hours in the hair salon not the normal 1 1/2 which meant dd did not get a nap

My girlfriend who was going to spend the night at my place and babysit sends me a text before the event saying her new BF is coming with her (this BF who she says is just passing her time while she waits for something better) sorry "no" we don't have men sleep over at our place what does that say to the guy I am dating who is picking me up but I won't let HIM even meet dd yet? What message does that send to dd that it's OK for a man she has never met before to spend the night in our home even w/o mama here? Not at all comfortable with this. (And my girl friend did not seem open to adjust becauseh "where would he go if not with her...." damn insecurities of hers) then....

2ndHusband sends me a text saying he is stuck at work and will be considerbly late (at least an hour) "uh, no that is not ok" --- so since my childcare was uncomfy & 2ndHusband was going to be so late I pass on a date and take dd to the wedding but remeber she has had no nap so we did not make it to the reception.

I am now home, dd is asleep and honestly I feel lonely and disappointed both in my best friend and in 2ndHusband. I do like 2ndHusband but he is not mature enough yet so I have to let that go for now, the pause/cut was happening tonight anyway but I wanted to "dance" or get really really close to "dancing" one more time before doing so.

So Pretty Boy --- CUT, 2ndHUsband --- HOLDING AS A FRIEND UNTIL HE MATURES no "dancing" allowed, StableGuy --- CUT I am just not into him so now my black book is empty and I am not into online dating (no judgement it just does not work with my personality) kinda sad because I don't really like dating and I also do like having someone I like but I guess it will come... In the meantime I plan to still going out but with my single childless girl friends who I have been distant from since having a child. At least I will be out there with the chance to meet someone and if not I will have nutured the friendships I have neglected.
post #102 of 275
LoveOhm, I'm sorry your night was so crummy. What a perfect storm, eh? Sounds like it is definitetly time to find some new contenders.

I'm going to hang out with Suicidal guy for a while this afternoon. I know, I know, I know. I can't even tell from his pics on match if he is cute or funny looking. But, in our emailings, we definitely click, personality-wise. And I'm bored. So....

I made my concerns clear to him, made it clear I am interested in playing the field a bit right now, that we should plan on going sloooooooowly etc etc. I think it will be okay.

But, my judgement is crap, and I do have that niggling instinct that says "run". But oh well, I"ll do it anyway, and then there will be lots of drama to keep our thread hopping.

See? I'm sacrificing myself for you, I love you all that much, I'm willing to date suicidal guy, just so I'll have good stories to tell you about him!
post #103 of 275
Sugarmoon, you can always run screaming after the date.

LoveOhm, I feel for you. I would totally have cut 2ndHusband off too. An hour late is not okay, not unless you asked him the day before & he couldn't plan for it.

You may have an empty black book for now, but I found I'd much rather reconnect with friends.
post #104 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarmoon View Post
LoveOhm, I'm sorry your night was so crummy. What a perfect storm, eh? Sounds like it is definitetly time to find some new contenders.

I'm going to hang out with Suicidal guy for a while this afternoon. I know, I know, I know. I can't even tell from his pics on match if he is cute or funny looking. But, in our emailings, we definitely click, personality-wise. And I'm bored. So....
I did ask 2ndHusband two days before and he did tell me hours before the event how late he would be but still..... I am just over the immature stuff.

I also relate to being bored but I also think as women we should listen to our intuition so I think it is good you go slow with Suicidal Guy.
post #105 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagesgirl View Post
You may have an empty black book for now, but I found I'd much rather reconnect with friends.
Actually I went to dinner with a girl friend on friday night..... so low key and so WONDERFUL! ::: I do miss that type of connection with other adult women where the conversation is not centered on our kids.
post #106 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveOhm View Post
Actually I went to dinner with a girl friend on friday night..... so low key and so WONDERFUL! ::: I do miss that type of connection with other adult women where the conversation is not centered on our kids.
When I can, I go meet up with my best friend either Friday or Saturday nights and we hang out. For a while we went to the bar, but lately we've been watching TV at his place and gossiping, and that's so much more fun. I love cooking with him (he's living with his dad right now, in his childhood home, and his parents collected a LOT of amazingly odd kitchen gadgets), so we'll make dinner and then watch PBR--I don't know why--and talk.
post #107 of 275
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarmoon View Post
I do have that niggling instinct that says "run". But oh well, I"ll do it anyway, and then there will be lots of drama to keep our thread hopping.
You are hilarious. I am actually all for some of you other people going through men just to keep the thread active because after 6 months of doing that, I'm starting to exhaust!
post #108 of 275
Thread Starter 
Hey, did we ever decide? Hotties are all bat-$hit-crazy or.....?
post #109 of 275
[QUOTE=Sagesgirl;13936334]
Sugarmoon, you can always run screaming after the date.
[QUOTE]


running, running, running....
......screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaming!

why does this always a happen to me????

ironically though, I was reading the book _Blink_ which I just got from the library, and is all about how we should trust our instincts and go with out "thin-slice" impressions of people etc etc while I waited for him to show up -- it already had me thinking I should have just listened to my instinct and then within about 3 minutes, I felt like I'd "thin-sliced" him and was *done*.

Oops.

Oh well. Now I have to figure out how to get out of this gracefully. Oh, girls, it was bad. He had alcohol on his breath, first of all (and it was 1:30 in the afternon, and he'd been driving 30 minutes to get to me), he smells like stale cigarette smoke, has an annoying giggle, talks entirely too much about star wars and video games....

ack. WTF was I thinking? Not much in the cute department either.

This is me, officially setting my sights higher.
post #110 of 275
Oh my. That reminds me of my 8th grade German teacher.

Was it at least a date you were able to get out of gracefully?
post #111 of 275
Thread Starter 

!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarmoon View Post

ironically though, I was reading the book _Blink_ which I just got from the library, and is all about how we should trust our instincts and go with out "thin-slice" impressions of people etc etc while I waited for him to show up -- it already had me thinking I should have just listened to my instinct and then within about 3 minutes, I felt like I'd "thin-sliced" him and was *done*.
Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes! If you recall, I have recommended Blink on this thread before! And others have seconded it! It's a really wonderful book about trusting your instincts!

Sorry the guy was a dud. But.....the next one will seem pretty sparkly in comparison.
post #112 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflymom View Post
Sorry the guy was a dud. But.....the next one will seem pretty sparkly in comparison.
Goodness, yes, I sure hope so!

And I did get 3 responses to some winks I sent out on Match, so hopefully there are some new prospects. And Socrates gets back sometime this week.

I need to figure out a better plan for quickie first dates though. After yesterday (dud guy combined with reading _Blink_) I'm much more interested in trying speed dating!! The local dating site I'm on hosts speed dating parties every month or 6 weeks or so -- I wish one of you was local so we could go together!

In the mean time, I'm working on planning a "standard" first date. Long enough to screen 'em, interesting enough to give me information and be at least marginally fun, even if the guy is a dud, and short enough to let me get the heck out if he sucks, but open ended enough to let me linger if I like him....

post #113 of 275
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarmoon View Post
I wish one of you was local so we could go together!


:

Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarmoon View Post
In the mean time, I'm working on planning a "standard" first date. Long enough to screen 'em, interesting enough to give me information and be at least marginally fun, even if the guy is a dud, and short enough to let me get the heck out if he sucks, but open ended enough to let me linger if I like him....


Smart thinking.......... I guess I will stick to plain ole coffee meeting in a cafe for 30-60 minutes and then I'm outta there if I don't like him and try to extend it if I do.
post #114 of 275
Okay, so a quick update:

So after SCG responded to me two days after my e-mail, I answered him back the following Monday (tested out rollerblading in one of the places he had recommended and gave him feedback...) and then didn't hear anything. So I wrote him off as a total asshole...even though I still really really am attracted to him and think he's one of the only guys I'd consider being friends (or more) with right now.
Until I came home this evening and saw he sent me an e-mail TODAY in response to mine. Saying he went to test out one of the other places he had recommended to me for rollerblading on Sunday, but it was too crowded. He then mentions he'll return Tuesday evening there to test it out and that he'd let me know how it went. Only two lines, but for a guy who doesn't like writing...I'm impressed.
Okay, he wouldn't have answered me unless there was a teeny tiny bit of interest on his part, right?
Be honest, please!! I'm still trying to figure out North American guys!!
post #115 of 275
By the way, this is what I wrote to him last Monday:

Thank you for your response (I guess I should feel honoured, you not being one to write and all ...) and for your tips for rollerblading around Montréal. I took advantage of the sunny weather late last week to test the Canal Lachine, and found it very nice. There were a lot of people there even on a weekday morning, so I imagine it's packed on the weekends. I'll have to test the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve soon (before the weather gets too hot and sticky).
It's too bad Montréal doesn't have Friday evening or Sunday rollerblading excursions, like in Paris. The police block off the streets on a specific parcours that changes every week, and the ambiance is really great. Kind of similar to the bike tours they had this weekend, Friday evening and then Sunday during the day. Of course, I realise the quality of the roads here is a bit different, but still...if they can organise it for bicycles, then there shouldn't be any problem for rollerblading.
Boucherville...a very nice place (un quartier assez chic, n'est-ce pas?). I'll bet it's lovely all along the riverfront there, especially close to the 'old port' (I think I remember getting lost there last summer while trying to get somewhere on the South Shore).
take care,
Holly
post #116 of 275
[QUOTE=HollycrandJe vais essayer d’y retourné mardi soir. Je t’en donnerai des nouvelles.
Bye,[/QUOTE]

This part I don't get. Why isn't he inviting you mardi soir? Maybe he's shy, but it just seems an obvious segue into inviting you to join him?
post #117 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hollycrand View Post
Okay, so a quick update:

So after SCG responded to me two days after my e-mail, I answered him back the following Monday (tested out rollerblading in one of the places he had recommended and gave him feedback...) and then didn't hear anything. So I wrote him off as a total asshole...even though I still really really am attracted to him and think he's one of the only guys I'd consider being friends (or more) with right now.
Until I came home this evening and saw he sent me an e-mail TODAY in response to mine. Saying he went to test out one of the other places he had recommended to me for rollerblading on Sunday, but it was too crowded. He then mentions he'll return Tuesday evening there to test it out and that he'd let me know how it went. Only two lines, but for a guy who doesn't like writing...I'm impressed.
Okay, he wouldn't have answered me unless there was a teeny tiny bit of interest on his part, right?
Be honest, please!! I'm still trying to figure out North American guys!!
I think the fact that he tried to go visit one of the places and is making a 2nd attempt is a GOOD sign. I would have wanted him to ask you to join with him but in general I know alot of men who "test" the location before bringing a date there.....

All GOOD signs.... Good Luck!
post #118 of 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarmoon View Post
In the mean time, I'm working on planning a "standard" first date. Long enough to screen 'em, interesting enough to give me information and be at least marginally fun, even if the guy is a dud, and short enough to let me get the heck out if he sucks, but open ended enough to let me linger if I like him....
In my childless days since I didn't (and don't) really like "dating" I mastered first meets.... since I was working I would suggest one of the following

A quick drink after work - This would allow me to have just one drink then dash to work on my deadline or if he had promise we could hang all night....

Breakfast - I love breakfast because it's inexpensive generally low key and it has an auto end time because everyone has more to do in their day... go to work, tend to children, run errands, etc.

I never did the "coffee" dates really because I don't know many coffee houses that are comfy.... there was one tea house I LOVED but I had one guy meet me there who was a dud and ran into him several more times there..... I felt like he was in "my" sacred space and since I LOVE the place so much I decided no more 1st meetings there.
post #119 of 275
Butterflymom what is going on in your dating world, I feel like I need an update on busy you!
post #120 of 275
Yes, I was trying to figure out if him telling me that he'd be going there Tuesday evening was a hint, but hard to tell. I'd seriously LOVE to go there with him (I love nighttime roller blading....especially with company) but don't want to be too bold. Especially because I'm not sure he's going there alone...
He's a really hard person to figure out. When we worked at the same company, he was very good at acting interested, but would act more than talk, KWIM??
*Sigh*.
Maybe he's waiting for me to actually move out of my house?? (July 1st is the big day
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