~June Dating Thread~ Single Ladies!!! (put a ring on it) - Page 8

[JohnnysGirl]

Okay just reading how you write about Scrabble guy icks me out and I don't care anymore about the hot bod and glasses. Forget him.

Let me check out your match profile. Email me the pics and text and I'll tell you what I think. your local-site profile is so great.

How much do you guys love this quote?


"We are unerring in our choice of lovers, particularly when we require the wrong person. There is an instinct, magnet or aerial which seeks the unsuitable. The wrong person is, of course, right for something--to punish, bully or humiliate us, let us down, leave us for dead, or, worst of all, give us the impression that they are not inappropriate, but almost right, thus hanging us in love's limbo. Not just anyone can do this."

-Hanif Kureishi

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by sugarmoon

Butterfly, have you thought about just asking pretty fisherman, in a little bit of a teasy way, if he's reconsidering his thoughts about a relationship?

Hmmm....maybe. He wants me to go with him to a friend's birthday gathering at a bar tonight? He'll be with a couple friends but wants me to come with them. What does this mean? It seems so.....non-casual.

[sugarmoon]

Yeah, that is really "girlfriend" category, not casual fling-thing. Meet my friends at a small friends only party? I mean, meeting up with friends at a bar or something would still feel possibly casual but that?

And I completely love that quote. So me. So competely me.

Which is why I need to spend some time playing the field!

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by sugarmoon

Yeah, that is really "girlfriend" category, not casual fling-thing. Meet my friends at a small friends only party? I mean, meeting up with friends at a bar or something would still feel possibly casual but that?

: I mean yesterday he came to me straight from work, drove me to the post office to help me get all the packages my mom had sent here and helped me carry them up into my apartment, and he took me for a long, nice dinner, and then he just took me home. Not flingy at all.
And to see each other the very next day? two days in a row? Not flingy.
I see him in 3 hours. I 'll post more later.

[Hollycrand]

Okay, news from my front. I think SCG really did want me to suggest that we go rollerblading together. I just got off the phone with 21 year old intern (we're friends) and she told me that on Tuesday night SCG had invited her to go surfing with him (apparently he's really good). I am SO jealous!!
She's super gorgeous, but says he's like her father (he's 42...more my age)...but I don't know if HE thinks that. He knows that 21 year old intern and I are super friends, and that I like surfing. So was this a move on 21 year old intern? Is he just looking for people to do sports with? Should I take advantage of this to tell him I'd love to go rollerblading (or surfing for that matter) with him sometime?
I am just so super shy...I don't want to make myself look totally ridiculous with him. But at this point, I figure I REALLY have nothing to lose. But I don't want to seem desparate either, KWIM???

[josybear]

so after yesterday's conversation here i went and tried out online dating again.

and i have a date tomorrow night.

i'm so excited, i'm just about vibrating. the guy is pretty ok, from what i can tell. he seems nice. i'm not smitten, but is that even possible with only msn for 'meeting'? anyways, we're meeting at a very public place and having dinner. and i'm all in a tizzy. someone finds me attractive and interesting!

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by josybear

someone finds me attractive and interesting!

OF COURSE someone does!!! Of course.


Hell, I'm plenty gorgeous and fascinating and even I got stood up by Prett Fisherman tonight. :

He texted aroudn 10pm to let me know that 'it's getting too complicated, let's meet on another day..."

So I went on facebook's Are You Interested app and found a new boy my age who looked cute and has a motorcycle and asked him for a ride and he came immediately to my home and picked me up for an evening motorbike ride. It was fun. After an hour a friend of mine was texting from a local nightclub (with his friend ) so I asked New Bike Guy to go there with me and we went there and danced/drank/whatever as a group of four and it was fun. pretty fisherman kept texting through the night about how he was drunk but wished I was with him. whateeeever......

[josybear]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

Hell, I'm plenty gorgeous and fascinating and even I got stood up by Prett Fisherman tonight. :

He texted aroudn 10pm to let me know that 'it's getting too complicated, let's meet on another day..."

So I went on facebook's Are You Interested app and found a new boy my age who looked cute and has a motorcycle and asked him for a ride and he came immediately to my home and picked me up for an evening motorbike ride. It was fun. After an hour a friend of mine was texting from a local nightclub (with his friend ) so I asked New Bike Guy to go there with me and we went there and danced/drank/whatever as a group of four and it was fun. pretty fisherman kept texting through the night about how he was drunk but wished I was with him. whateeeever......

that sounds like a fantastic night. good for you, not calling it a night when he cancelled.

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by josybear

that sounds like a fantastic night. good for you, not calling it a night when he cancelled.

Hell, no. I never just 'call it a night' if someone cancels. I find something better to do.

Let's see what happens tomorrow with my girlfriend's Midsummer party and all the elligible bachelors that are showing up there!

[sugarmoon]

You are a rockstar, Butterfly!

Sounds fun

[Hollycrand]

Butterfly,

You are awesome! Wow.

I'm off to write an e-mail to SCG...no more games...I'm going to tell him at least that he'd better take me surfing or rollerblading the next time he goes. Or something to that extent.
What is WRONG with me? I was never shy and holding back before...but maybe it's because I'm older and a bit more cautious...

I don't get any advice from anyone? You must all be sick of my little saga.

[josybear]

hollycrand, you know how if you randomly turn on a soap opera you've never seen before it's utterly baffling, with all the unfamiliar people and plotlines and drama? but then if you end up bedridden in mexico with nothing but soaps on tv you end up knowing all about what marta and juan and the rest of the gang are up to in the kind of detail that makes your friends shake their heads?

i just tuned in. i'll be full of opinions when i've gotten my bearings. you just wait, you'll rue the day i showed up here.

[Hollycrand]

josybear,

Here's the scoop. I'm attracted to an ex-colleague (I no longer work there) and wrote him an e-mail a few weeks ago figuring I had nothing to lose. He answered back (big surprise to me....) and I answered HIM back, etc.
So Monday afternoon he randomly e-mailed me, saying he was going to go to a rollerblading place Tuesday evening and said he would 'give me news'. I didn't really know what it meant, but figured he would go rollerblading and let me know how it was. Well, I think he meant it as an invitation for me to say, 'if ever you want me to come along'...but I didn#t understand it as such.
Anyways, so I answered back, wishing him a good time.
It turns out he ended up taking a gorgeous 21 year old intern (but a good friend of mine too...he knows this) surfing on the river, and she had a great time. I'm SO jealous (he knew she would tell me...) and so now think it's time to just be blunt and tell him how I feel. Because I have nothing to lose. He's 42 years old, and 21 year old gorgeous intern says she thinks of him as a 'father'. So what should I think of this situation? I am hurt, but at the same time want to at least tell him he can have me If he doesn't answer back, I'll never have to see him again.
So seeing as how you're the only one online right now (or maybe you've left too), should I send him an e-mail saying I'm jealous that he went surfing (I'm from California) and that I would love to go rollerblading with him sometime?

[josybear]

i'm sort of online, i'm trying to study but really distracted.

it sounds like you two have communication issues when you email. could you switch to communicating via phone?
i wouldn't say you're jealous, i'd say that you heard from chickie that they went surfing and you love surfing and it must have been so fun and if he ever goes again to bring you, blah blah blah. jealous is one of those words, you know? it suggests a commitment to me. maybe throw something in about how chickie thinks he's a great mentor or something, so he is reminded of the age gap and that chickie might not think of him in a sexual way... dunno. those are my thoughts.

thanks for getting me caught up!

[Hollycrand]

josybear,

Thanks for your input...now go study!!

[Isamama]

How long after your separations did you start dating? I am no where near dating again (shutter at the thought), but am curious. Actually, the thought does have some appeal when I am through enough healing...

I love reading this thread it scares me and gives me hope all at the same time.

Maybe this will give you a chuckle. I was at a grocery store the other day. A very cute man did a double take look at me. Scared the crap out of me. I froze and thought, in a tiny scared voice, "Don't talk to me, don't talk to me." Yeah, I am so far away from dating it is silly. But I am noticing that some men are pretty attractive...

[Hollycrand]

I am not at the 'dating' point yet, but more into doing things with people I know.
Starting to look at the 'fish in the sea', but am totally afraid to make a complete idiot of myself.

[Isamama]

By the way, Holly, I think you should just be direct about wanting to go rollerblading or surfing. Like you said, you have nothing to lose and it could be fun.

How far out are you from your separation, if you don't mind me asking?

[guestmama9915]

How do I join the FB group...? Can someone PM me info?

[Seie]

Sorry not to be checking in so often anymore, but being all partnered and counting on a long term thing, I dont quite feel like I belong anymore. Oh well.
For how long to wait after leaving ex? Well - I was way done with our relationship even before I left him. After I left I was solo with the kids for several months before he started having visitation. The first evening I went out on my own after leaving home - this was in october - I left ex end of april 08 so that was 5 months after leaving - I was asked out by a guy. He just came straight up to me and said something like "I have been looking at you all evening and I know this sounds a bit weird but I would really like to get to know you better. May I ask you out for dinner?" Weird. If it was a catch-up line it sure worked. We ended up kissing - the first good kiss I had since I met ex who was never much of a kisser. A week later we went out on a date and ahem - ended up at my place. Saw him a few times more after that but he wasnt mature enough to date a single mom of 3 so things ended after around 6 weeks. A few weeks later I met BF through a dating site. I fell in love almost right away and been together since. That was end of november - meaning 7 months after leaving ex.
For me it wasnt too early. I know my BF thought it was pretty soon and it was a worry of his in the beginning. But he sensed that I was completely done with ex and it hasnt been a problem.