~June Dating Thread~ Single Ladies!!! (put a ring on it) - Page 2

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by Avani

Oh it's a Beyonce song! I was wondering what this title meant. I don't know her music. I keep following all of you but i personally haven't been dating, just gestating. Anyhow i'm still lurking away!

and I haven't forgotten you for a second. I wish you a fabulous birth. You are such a strong woman. More than that. A hero.



organicpapayamama, I think if you've hung out three times and none of those times were earth-shattering-totally-connected-and-intune-and-completely-oh-my-god-I've-met-my-soulmate type of encounters, and he's talking parents and weekends together and so on, then of course your weird-o-meter is being set off. it's weird. I wouldn't like the two different personalities (one via text/phone, at arm's length talking big, the other one in person where it's awkward) either. How do you feel about him when you are together, in person? Your posts don't make it sound like you are just melting into a pool of infatuation on the floor when you are together. Or otherwise. Hmmmm........

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by Holland73

"If he liked it then he should have put a ring on it..." Well, he loves it, without a doubt, but I definitely don't need or want a ring.

.. Who knows, everything in life is transitory... nothing stays the same -- married or not.
!

I totally get what you are saying and I agree. And your relationship sounds amazing. : Congratulations on finding such happiness.

[Sagesgirl]

Originally Posted by sugarmoon

still sick (turned out to be strep), but just got "winked" at match.com and I have to say...

what's with all the motorcycle pics???? seriously, dude, I don't think your royal blue motorcycle is hot. my 5 year old is impressed. I'm not.

Hey, that's better than the dude who just winked at me on OKC whose profile photo is a grainy webcam pic of him in a black tank top. Which wouldn't be bad, but for the fact that I'm pretty sure I own the exact same one.

[MissLotus]

Hi, all - I used to be on the Single Parents board a lot during my divorce two years ago. I don't think I've done the dating thread. And one year ago, I was contacted via Facebook (out of the blue) by a man I dated briefly before I got married. We ended up dating until this March...it was long-distance, and after promising me the moon (which I didn't ask for!) and a whole bunch of other things, he just...fizzled out. Stopped communicating. Granted, I haven't been knocking myself out to contact HIM; I just sent him one e-mail after he started his weirdness. Long story short is: He's a liar. It was always my sense that he pulled this stuff with other women...plunge into the relationship, want everything right away, then once she catches on that all his promises (of commitment and whatnot) are empty and she calls him on it, he's out of there. At least that's how it went with us. Oh, it's complicated, but you get the drift.

Sooo...because right now (I'm considering moving back to the city in the next few months) I live in a very small town, there's like, no one to meet! Just to see what would happen, I joined eHarmony for three months, but to be honest I find it so sterile and dull. I briefly was on a free dating site but the crreeeeps! Unbelievable. Well, I did go on a date with one guy. He was okay, but somehow just didn't take off, and it was RIGHT after the break-up and I sure wasn't ready.

Are there sites anyone recommends in particular?

[Kino]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

I just can't decide if I wanna hold back too much or if perhaps cutting to the chase and eliminating the ones who can't handle me (I AM a handful, after all, it's not an act) from the get go is a great thing. Dating is all about narrowing down and eliminating, right?

Some of ya'll hold back too much, huh? It's not all me and sugarmoon just having diarrhea of the mouth and freaking the men out is it?

I'm an open person and yes that scares off most men, but it also highlights the few great ones. I do hold back on some things like certain intuitive feelings. Sometimes it's just a little nutty to completely dump on someone what my intuition is telling me when it's pretty heavy stuff. I wait till the relationship is stronger.

It's a balance I suppose.

[churndash]

well, I think it's time to hang things up with my Facebook flirting friend. We had some interesting conversations, had an in-person meeting that seemed to go well, and continued the flirting and chatting afterward but he hasn't called, although he has my number, and he hasn't emailed or opened a chat in nearly two weeks, although I've seen him online on FB.

I'm not one to pursue, so I'm just going to chalk this up to "no longer interested."

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by churndash

I'm not one to pursue, so I'm just going to chalk this up to "no longer interested."

Darn. Sorry to hear that. would you be able to muster up asking him for some feedback? Might help you to hear why he stopped pursuing you. I would wanna know, anyway, and might ask, "So did you meet someone else and get swept away in a passionate love affair? Or has anything in your life just taken over your time and that's why I haven't heard from you? Hope I didn't do/say anything to offend you! Just wondering why we haven't talked in the last couple of weeks." But I am a weird, straightforward, upfront type who asks things like that! I know most don't....

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by MissLotus

Are there sites anyone recommends in particular?

PoF is really active, right? (Plenty of Fish in case you didn't know that acronym)

What about on Facebook on the Are You Interested or SpeedDate or Meet New People or Social Me applications?


You know what I wish would be the new way we all met our dates? Friends of friends (or friends, thrice removed even). Our friends who know we are single should be more proactive about advertising and scoping on our behalf, right?! THat way, when we do date someone, that person isn't likely to treat us like total crap and feel no accountability because his reputation will be somewhat on the hook and those in his social circle will find out if he doesnt' behave as a gentleman and shows lack of respect in some way.

Accountability. A real word-of-mouth reputation. That's what I am missing from the men who wanna date me. That's what's totally missing from the internet too when it comes to scoping for men. Ugh.

[mmace]

You know what I wish would be the new way we all met our dates? Friends of friends (or friends, thrice removed even). Our friends who know we are single should be more proactive about advertising and scoping on our behalf, right?! THat way, when we do date someone, that person isn't likely to treat us like total crap and feel no accountability because his reputation will be somewhat on the hook and those in his social circle will find out if he doesnt' behave as a gentleman and shows lack of respect in some way.

Accountability. A real word-of-mouth reputation. That's what I am missing from the men who wanna date me. That's what's totally missing from the internet too when it comes to scoping for men. Ugh.

That's how I got together with mine! We live in the same small town (he lives less than a mile away) and knew of each other through our kids activities for years. We knew each other enough to say "Hi!" when we did run into each other. He would come up to the fish fry at the church where I worked every Friday during Lent and we'd chat as I waited on him. We had many mutual friends - several of his friends have known me/my family forever. He is part of the coffee crowd that meets before work each morning to BS at the little store across the road from my house. Apparently he used to ogle me when I put my kids on the bus. One day he asked a mutual friend who works at that store if I was dating anyone, she asked me, I said no, she said he wanted to ask me out, I said I'd love that, and he called me a couple of days later. Saturday was the two year anniversary of our first date!

[Meg_s]

I've met several through Plenty of Fish.. I have a pretty rigorous filtering system and I've actually met in person 3 men, in the last 9 mos, and am very much in love with the last one and very good friends with the other two. I have plenty that would have been "potential" meets and some online "friends" through chatting from POF. I think it's such a great resource, I'd never meet anyone otherwise.

[sugarmoon]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

You know what I wish would be the new way we all met our dates? Friends of friends (or friends, thrice removed even). Our friends who know we are single should be more proactive about advertising and scoping on our behalf, right?! THat way, when we do date someone, that person isn't likely to treat us like total crap and feel no accountability because his reputation will be somewhat on the hook and those in his social circle will find out if he doesnt' behave as a gentleman and shows lack of respect in some way.

Accountability. A real word-of-mouth reputation. That's what I am missing from the men who wanna date me. That's what's totally missing from the internet too when it comes to scoping for men. Ugh.

SO TRUE!!!

For all the benefits of online, this is one HUGE draw back.

Well, I sent Socarates a short note last night, just a "you still out there?" and got a friendly response. we traded a few small talk emails and then I fell asleep. We'll see.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

organicpapayamama, I think if you've hung out three times and none of those times were earth-shattering-totally-connected-and-intune-and-completely-oh-my-god-I've-met-my-soulmate type of encounters, and he's talking parents and weekends together and so on, then of course your weird-o-meter is being set off. it's weird. I wouldn't like the two different personalities (one via text/phone, at arm's length talking big, the other one in person where it's awkward) either. How do you feel about him when you are together, in person? Your posts don't make it sound like you are just melting into a pool of infatuation on the floor when you are together. Or otherwise. Hmmmm........

well.... Im really starting to like this guy and Im scared to, I dont want to get hurt so naturally I have my reservations. Plus I have not dated in about 5 yrs and this is the first time after my divorce and with a child so its all a bit new to me...But I totally am with you with the different personalities... its really throwing me off. I mentioned we have talked or texted every single day since we met online except yesterday he didnt call and the only text I got was a "hows your day going" text... when I texted him back he never replied.... this morning the same thing... he texted me "good morning" and I replied only for him not to do anything... I dont know whats going on. Naturally I want things to work out and he isnt a fan of playing games either (or so he says) but Im am very confused. More later Im sure.

[Hollycrand]

So, no answer to my e-mail, and I don't think there will be at all. His loss.

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by Hollycrand

So, no answer to my e-mail, and I don't think there will be at all. His loss.

Hey, Holly, give it a day or two. He could have been slammed today atwork, home sick, any number of things. Just hang in there before you write it off.

[Hollycrand]

True. Thanks for the positive thoughts.


How are your admirers?

[Seie]

Butterfly: Sorry about your past love showing up like that again. He definately does sound selfcentered and immature. Im sorry this still causes so much pain for you

Organicpapayamama: Sounds to me like in some ways your guy is moving a bit fast. I would think it VERY early to start talking about parents, family etc. Your are alert for a reason. Some things are not ligning up. I too am a straight forward person like some of the other mamas here, so I would likely just ask him straight out.
It may be that he is one of those guys who feels women should not jump into bed till marriage - or whatever - or it may be that he is really mroe attracted to the IDEA of you two together than he actually is to you? I dont have those answers but I agree that it sounds fishy and it would be only fair that he fills you in about where he is at. Not about his plans for the future or his intentions. He may well have intentions of marriage and what do I know - but personally what I would want to know is - how does he FEEL about you? I would start asking some questions if I were you.

Avani: Great to see you around. Lots of wishes from here for a wonderful birth when the time comes

[organicpapayamama]

update

I have no idea whats going on with this guy.... all of a sudden no communication. He is very cold now. He texted me yesterday afternoon asking me about my son that was sick. I replied that he was fine but that now I was sick. He replied with "sorry your sick". Then a few hours later he texted me saying "hi, how are you?" um...this threw me off.... didnt I just tell you 2 hours ago I was sick?! I think this text might have been intended to go to someone else...idk.... at any rate, I replied with "Im ok, how are you? I have not heard from you lately..." He works in the banking industry, I used to also, and he told me its just that at the beginning of the month its really busy... I know this to be true but we dont usually communicate while we are at work, we talk/text after work so I dont know why that would cause him to not talk to me at all.... then later on that evening right before bed I texted him saying "what are you doing? do you have pizza tonight (referring to his second job delivering pizza)?" he replied with huh? I clarified and asked if he was working his pizza job..... no response.... i think this guy is long gone.... ugggg.... oh and I did mention we met on match.com....I see that he updated his profile and says he prefers blond hair blue eyes, which I am not... kinda sucks that he wont tell me if hes not into me.....stupid games.

[JohnnysGirl]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

oh and I did mention we met on match.com....I see that he updated his profile and says he prefers blond hair blue eyes, which I am not... kinda sucks that he wont tell me if hes not into me.....stupid games.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW, stupid games. What skeeves me out is that he has spent time with your son and you with his and he is playing these games with them as audience? So uncool. :

[Hollycrand]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW, stupid games. What skeeves me out is that he has spent time with your son and you with his and he is playing these games with them as audience? So uncool. :

:


Well, on my front, I got a response from SCG this afternoon. It's in French, and doesn't really say much, but it's friendly. It says hello, asks me how I am, says that I have really good perception - that he's not really a writer...seeing as how it took him two whole days to respond to my e-mail. He says that it was nice to share advice with someone who has the same 'difficulties' (ie separation - he separated from his partner a year ago and has a son the same as age as my older daughter).
Concerning rollerblading, he says that when he lived in Montreal he used two circuits, names them, and them tells me that he now rollerblades next to his house (which is just outside Montreal), it's not great but it's close to where he lives.
Then he says 'A +', which means talk to you later (but in a non-commital way) and signs his name.

I am surprised (and happy) he even responded at all (though maybe he had a slow day at work??). So, now what?? I mean, he's written the most out of all the other ex-colleagues I've had contact with. But what in the heck can I/should I do now?

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW, stupid games. What skeeves me out is that he has spent time with your son and you with his and he is playing these games with them as audience? So uncool. :

YES total games here! and he says he is big on no games... ya right buddy!!! He finally texted me this morning saying good morning.... I did NOT reply. I dont plan on it. Even if he calls I am not picking up today.... not that I want to play games back but come on... why should I be so available. And yes I hear you about spending time with the kids.... although my contact with his DS is limited.... he was off doing his own thing most of the time...my lil one seems to like him a lot but then again he is only 13 months.... I dont want him to get hurt either.... I got a lot to think about.