My uncle was given 3 months.

[Raene]

I am across the country dealing with a pregnancy in which flying is not recommended. I feel like I can't do anything for him, but I want to do something.

What can I do from here? What do you say in a card to someone who is dying? I don't know if he's at peace or not. He has cyrrosis of the liver and was given 3 months over a month ago. He's apparently not doing well physically at all (he's not going to bounce back and be a miracle story).

What can I say/do? We aren't that close, but I really want to do something.

[ParisApril]

Maybe a card telling him how much you love him.

[Cherie2]

I don’t think you can do anything wrong, any sort of gesture will do. I bet if you sit down and start writing something will come out. I think he would appreciate the sentiment and knowing he is being thought of and loved.

[Raene]

Thanks

[peilover010202]

We're in a similar situation, although dh's aunt lives fairly close. But, I've decided to have the boys put their handprints on a piece of pottery, paint, and fire it. (like a small plate) Our boys are her world, so I know she'll appreciate that.

I think anything that he likes would be helpful. Is there a favorite place of his? Maybe you could get a postcard or picture of it and send along? A journal for him to write in? But definitely a card that tells him WHAT memories you will remember forever.

I'm sorry, it's hard, I know.

[meemee]

can you talk to him?

how close were you guys?

maybe you could send him a card first saying how helpless you feel that you cant be close.

and then start sending him a postcard or letter twice a week telling him what's going on in your life. you'd be surprised how much they enjoy that.

ETA: oh yeah i remember. soon his skin will be drying up. i would get him some great lotions and lip balm. maybe a nice soft blanket. or some soft pjs. or some soft sheets to sleep on.

how old are your boys. let them make something for him.

i know how much you would love to contribute to your uncle. but you know he really wants to be left alone. so call his caregivers and ask them what he might need. favorite food depending on his diet. remember he may jsut be able to eat a tiny bit of it. find out how you can help the caregivers.

take care of yourself. if you are spiritual do a ceremony everyday - a ritual maybe - of holding him in your thoughts or prayers or whatever you call it. it will help with your grief.

[Raene]

We weren't that close so that I'd know what he really likes. I used to see him a few times a year at family functions...and now that I've moved across the country I've only seen him twice in the last 5 years.

I did send him a card this morning. I had a really hard time finding the words and it ended up just being two sentences...something like "We are so sorry that we cannot be with your right now. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers." and then my daughter drew him a picture, which strangely enough looks like an angel.

[Cherie2]

That is beautiful it sounds perfect

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by ParisApril

Maybe a card telling him how much you love him.

I agree. My MIL passed away late last week and she had just started going down hill in the last few weeks prior to that day. She went from being at my DD's 7th birthday party in late May to passing away less than two months later. She didn't even realize her lung cancer had come back and was growing so fast. It's so incredibly hard when someone finds out they have very little time left and I think your uncle will definitely appreciate a nice handwritten note from you.