Waiting To Adopt NON DDC ~ June 2009 - Page 3

[tiffani]

well, one homestudy visit down, one to go! our social worker is fabulous -- very friendly and engaging, and really down-to-earth, easy-going, and lots of fun. She and her 6 year old dd came over last night for 5 hours and we made pizza, had ice cream, and played and had fun. She did her private chat with Lucy, and one of the questions was "what is your favorite thing about your mom?" and she answered "when there is no food in the cupboard, she lets us pick the restaurant to go to"

must run, there is a new board game awaiting me -- it's called "The Amazing Mammoth Hunt" -- I'll let you know how it goes!

[Whistler]

Yay Tiffani!

Well, it's after business hours on Friday here so it means that the "end of the week" we were waiting for will actually be "next week"! We had given permission for our profile to be shown to an emom and were told it would be shown at the end of the week. Apparently if it was we aren't going to hear anything until later.

[angie6191]

I would love to join!

We are making the move from foster care to domestic transracial newborn adoption. We are just getting ready to send in our application! We currently have a foster placement of a 20 month old baby boy and his 7 year old sister. We have had them for 18+ months and were so hoping to be able to adopt them, but the case is still headed towards RU. I decided that even if I still want to do foster care when and if they leave, I can't risk having another foster/adopt placement going home- so here we are. It was a big decision for us. Financially it is going to be hard, but I am not going to let that stop us. We have been married for 18 years and have had 5 foster children in our home, plus we cared for my sister's three oldest children for 20 months. We are so ready to be forever parents!

[Polliwog]

Originally Posted by angie6191

We are making the move from foster care to domestic transracial newborn adoption. We are just getting ready to send in our application! We currently have a foster placement of a 20 month old baby boy and his 7 year old sister. We have had them for 18+ months and were so hoping to be able to adopt them, but the case is still headed towards RU. I decided that even if I still want to do foster care when and if they leave, I can't risk having another foster/adopt placement going home- so here we are. It was a big decision for us. Financially it is going to be hard, but I am not going to let that stop us. We have been married for 18 years and have had 5 foster children in our home, plus we cared for my sister's three oldest children for 20 months. We are so ready to be forever parents!

That's crazy. Why isn't the 15 out of 22 month law not being followed and the case plan not changed to termination?

[queenjane]

Originally Posted by angie6191

We are making the move from foster care to domestic transracial newborn adoption. We are just getting ready to send in our application! We currently have a foster placement of a 20 month old baby boy and his 7 year old sister. We have had them for 18+ months and were so hoping to be able to adopt them, but the case is still headed towards RU. I decided that even if I still want to do foster care when and if they leave, I can't risk having another foster/adopt placement going home- so here we are. It was a big decision for us. Financially it is going to be hard, but I am not going to let that stop us. We have been married for 18 years and have had 5 foster children in our home, plus we cared for my sister's three oldest children for 20 months. We are so ready to be forever parents!

Angie, your situation has literally kept me from falling asleep some nights...i was just thinking about you the other day....thinking how its just so wrong. I really think there should be something you can do to fight this, what does your agency say about the 15/22 rule? Are they trying to get the kids home before the 22 month mark or something?? I dont think this would happen in my agency....isnt there some kind of appeals or fighting you can do?

I'm glad to hear you are moving to other options for adopting though. I'm sorry your road in FC has been so rough.


Katherine

[angie6191]

Hi Katherine! The last permanency hearing was in March- at that time DSS asked for the goal to be changed to adoption. The judge did not change the goal because the mom had been clean and attending her programs and visits since December when she got out of jail. She has been compliant with all that has been asked of her. She was in jail for basically the whole first year that they were in care. From what I understand, at fifteen months there has to be a plan in place for permanency but that doesn't necessarily mean termination and adoption. The really hard thing for me is that up until about 2 months ago the DSS supervisor was still actively wanting a TPR on her. Now it seems they are moving in the other direction because she has been compliant and they probably just want the case closed. The law guardian is great, but he never returns my calls and I don't think he is aware of DSS' change of heart. I have left him several messages in the past two weeks. It is so frustrating and exhausting.

[lamamax3]

I'm feeling frustrated right now and figured you guys would understand! Our agency purposely doesn't tell prospective adoptive parents when an expectant mother looks at their profile to keep them from stressing out. I emailed our social worker yesterday for the first time in a couple of months, just to touch base. She mentioned that our profile has been shown several times (we had no idea if that was the case or if no one had seen it). I totally understand that lots of women might look at our profile before anyone chooses us. What got me was that the SW mentioned the last two expectant moms both wondered if we already had our hands full with the three kids we have...The SW said that she assured them we were fully capable of loving and raising a fourth child. She thinks that we'll have the best luck with an expectant mom who came from a large family herself.

And here I was thinking that our non-religious status was holding us back!

[Whistler]

Oh wow. I wonder if our has been shown many times. It would be nice to know that. We have heard about two cases where there was possible drug/alcohol use so the CW asked our permission to show our profile. But it may have been shown more times that we don't know about. Weird.

[sesa70]

Well, even though it doesnt feel like it we are making progress. We submitted the first round of tedious paperwork and did the first 8 hour training class, adoption 101. I know i am a big complainer, but I feel like this is such a waste of our time. I mean, its not like we haven't done this before! Its not like we have no ideas of the reality of adoptive life. Next we need to start working on our autobiographies... which again I think is just silly. But... I don't make the rules

I am really looking forward to the part where our homestudy is done and we start waiting to be chosen. I know it will be a while for us but its like hurry up and wait, you know?

[Whistler]

We just got an email yesterday that our profile was not chosen.

Back to waiting.

[tiffani]

aw, sorry erin, that must be hard.

[DTmama1]

Originally Posted by Whistler

We just got an email yesterday that our profile was not chosen.

Back to waiting.

*hugs* Waiting is so hard, but your child is still on their way to you.

[SundayCrepes]

I don't know what it is, but I suspect that, with each agency, they have an average number of times a profile is looked at before that family is chosen. You now have one less exposures that you, on average, have to do than you did before. You are one viewing further along than you were before.

Does that make sense?

Maybe that helps, maybe it doesn't. I hope it does.

Your baby IS out there. You just have to wait for YOUR baby. Man, I hate that waiting part.

[crl]

Well, I think we've chosen a homestudy agency. They are actually willing to do our China, Kyrgyzstan AND domestic homestudy/updates for us. : And they are in the city so it will be relatively easy to get to their offices. So that's good. They ask for the autobiography, fingerprinting to have happened, etc before you sign the contract and send it all in together so I'm working on the paperwork. I am really, really tired of paperwork. And I'm dreading the finderprinting because my fingerprints are "worn" and never take, necessitating repeats. Sigh.

But worst of all, I really, really need talking down because I just went to the Hanna Andersson website to look at baby clothes. DS was 13.5 months when he came home so I've never had little baby stuff. . . . Someone stop me, please. It's way too early to get excited.

Hugs to everyone who is waiting. It's hard.

Catherine

[Whistler]

Originally Posted by crl

Well, I think we've chosen a homestudy agency. They are actually willing to do our China, Kyrgyzstan AND domestic homestudy/updates for us. : And they are in the city so it will be relatively easy to get to their offices. So that's good. They ask for the autobiography, fingerprinting to have happened, etc before you sign the contract and send it all in together so I'm working on the paperwork. I am really, really tired of paperwork. And I'm dreading the finderprinting because my fingerprints are "worn" and never take, necessitating repeats. Sigh.

But worst of all, I really, really need talking down because I just went to the Hanna Andersson website to look at baby clothes. DS was 13.5 months when he came home so I've never had little baby stuff. . . . Someone stop me, please. It's way too early to get excited.

Hugs to everyone who is waiting. It's hard.

Catherine

Congrats on finding an agency!

I'm SO with you on baby clothes! It kills me because whenever I go get clothes for DS and DD the baby clothes call to me... come get me! But I don't know the season or even really the gender for sure and certain. I have to make myself wait. GRRRR

[SundayCrepes]

Maybe you should check out baby carriers instead. Check out www.thebabywearer.com for links to places for new carriers or check out the for sale/trade area. Some really gorgeous stuff.

[azedazobollis]

Can I join?

Im not officially "waiting" for my babe, but we are waiting for the court to complete their part. lol. We have our second adoptive babe. In between our two adoptive babes, we had 15 foster placements. After the last baby left our home, we changed our license to adoption through the state and waited.

Here is a post of my "I cant wait any longer fit"

We completed all of our licensing in July last year and our baby came home in December.

Where we are right now: Co-termination has been filed on both parents. We had to wait for paternity to come back on BDad, then both psych evals. Everything is ready to go now and Im waiting on court dates. I was hoping to probate in late July so that our "adoption day" for both kids would be the same time. It could still happen.

[curliemama]

Originally Posted by azedazobollis

Im not officially "waiting" for my babe, but we are waiting for the court to complete their part. lol. We have our second adoptive babe. In between our two adoptive babes, we had 15 foster placements. After the last baby left our home, we changed our license to adoption through the state and waited.

Here is a post of my "I cant wait any longer fit"

I loved reading this post! I had kind of a vent/fit last night, so I know the feeling.

[crl]

Originally Posted by mybabysmama

Maybe you should check out baby carriers instead. Check out www.thebabywearer.com for links to places for new carriers or check out the for sale/trade area. Some really gorgeous stuff.

Don't encourage me.

Originally Posted by azedazobollis

Im not officially "waiting" for my babe, but we are waiting for the court to complete their part. lol. We have our second adoptive babe. In between our two adoptive babes, we had 15 foster placements. After the last baby left our home, we changed our license to adoption through the state and waited.



I was hoping to probate in late July so that our "adoption day" for both kids would be the same time. It could still happen.

Hope you make it for late July! :

Catherine

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by crl

Don't encourage me.

I can't afford to buy all the carriers I want so I'm trying to live vicariously through you.