I had the talk with DH

[CrunchyChristianMama]

And he said he's fine with it as long as I've done the research and feel confident about the decision! We don't have a DS yet, but I brought it up so that in the future it would just be settled. I'm so relieved! :

On another note, during the discussion I referred to non-circumcised boys as "intact" and he got kind of offended that he would be considered not "intact" since he was circumcised as a baby and didn't have a choice. I never thought about a guy feeling that way about the word intact. His mom didn't want to circumcise him but did because she was worried about the whole locker room thing. DH said he's not worried about that for our boys since it's becoming more common to not circumcise and that he would never want to make a decision about the health of our children based on something like that.

And just so you all know...I may never have given it much thought if it weren't for the info you all put out on here for us informed mamas! Thank you so much!!!

[Fellow Traveler]

:

Originally Posted by Evie's Mama

And he said he's fine with it as long as I've done the research and feel confident about the decision! We don't have a DS yet, but I brought it up so that in the future it would just be settled. I'm so relieved!

On another note, during the discussion I referred to non-circumcised boys as "intact" and he got kind of offended that he would be considered not "intact" since he was circumcised as a baby and didn't have a choice. I never thought about a guy feeling that way about the word intact. His mom didn't want to circumcise him but did because she was worried about the whole locker room thing. DH said he's not worried about that for our boys since it's becoming more common to not circumcise and that he would never want to make a decision about the health of our children based on something like that.

And just so you all know...I may never have given it much thought if it weren't for the info you all put out on here for us informed mamas! Thank you so much!!!

: Comgratulations! What a lucky boy! :

I can understand your dh's feelings the thing is though 'uncircumcised' has a pejorative tone to it too, like saying somthing was left undone that should have been. Have intro'd yourself in the lurkers/new faces thread?

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Have intro'd yourself in the lurkers/new faces thread?

Yeah, I have. I was the one who has had to watch a live circ (my nephew)

[MyBoysBlue]

My husband who is "Intact" doesn't like the term "uncircumcised." It makes it sound like it is something that should have been done but wasn't, which is totally wrong. Especially since he is perfectly happy with his "Intact" state. It depends on the guys point of view.

[BlessedMommy2006]

Hey congrats on getting the issue settled before even having a boy! My first baby is a girl also, but we didn't know the gender ahead of time so we looked into circ info. If she would have been a boy she wouldn't have been circ'ed. So by the time we had our actual boy, we had been gathering info on the topic for a long time.

[tutucrazy]

What a lucky little boy! :::: Good for your dh for not buying into the old locker room myth!

As for what you said about the word intact. Men can be very sensitive about this b/c they soon realize that something was taken away from them and they aren't whole men, especially once they learn the value of foreskin. This is a hard emotional journey for some men. However you should continue to use the word intact b/c that is the correct term. You don't say that your daughter is 'unbreastaugmented' or 'uncircumcised' for the same reasons you don't say a boy is uncircumcised. Your dh might be interested to know that many men are very emotional about the whole issue. He doesn't need to "suck-it-up" and "be a man" though. He should let himself feel angry/mad/sad. Here is a good 2 part set of videos about the function of the foreskin. This will be helpful for both of you to watch together.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9DoCn3gATE

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps1dk...eature=related

Also, maybe you could pick up the book "The Joy of Uncircing" If he is the kind of guy that reads on the toilet or enjoys reading. Understanding the reason and benefit for intactness is something that could help him identify his emotions more clearly.

It is would be absurd to expect a woman to be "fine" with her genitals if she is circumcised, why should men be any different?

[KissyStarfish]

My husband is still mad that his mother had him circumcised when he was age 5, and has told her so lol. I love the woman but she made the choice so he would look the same as all the other boys. Our son is intact and we have never had even a slight problem with diapering, rashes, cleanliness, etc. Congratulations on your decision! :

[perspective]

Originally Posted by Evie's Mama

On another note, during the discussion I referred to non-circumcised boys as "intact" and he got kind of offended that he would be considered not "intact" since he was circumcised as a baby and didn't have a choice. I never thought about a guy feeling that way about the word intact.

Really? I guess its not surprising you would not think of that. (since your neither a guy, or circumcised). But I have always found problems with both the word "intact" and "uncircumcised" because they both hint at the idea there is a problem with alternative. Thats why I often hop back and forth between these phrases.

Imagine if a woman had breast reduction, implants, or (god forbid) a mastectomy. Say we defined woman as altered or unaltered breasts like we do with men and penises. Say if you had altered breasts (for a medical reason) and you were referred to as not being "intact". Your husband might say, "My daughter is intact, but my wife is not."

[tutucrazy]

Originally Posted by perspective

Really? I guess its not surprising you would not think of that. (since your neither a guy, or circumcised). But I have always found problems with both the word "intact" and "uncircumcised" because they both hint at the idea there is a problem with alternative. Thats why I often hop back and forth between these phrases.

Imagine if a woman had breast reduction, implants, or (god forbid) a mastectomy. Say we defined woman as altered or unaltered breasts like we do with men and penises. Say if you had altered breasts (for a medical reason) and you were referred to as not being "intact". Your husband might say, "My daughter is intact, but my wife is not."

Personally I don't like the word uncircumcised one bit. I think since we don't call intact girls "uncirced" then we shouldn't us this term for boys. Just b/c we live in a society that is accustomed to circing boys does not change the reality of the situation. If I went to Africa and they called me "uncircumcised" I'd be a little take aback. "Un" is generally applied as a negative. Unhappy, unhealthy, unappealable, unappreciative, unappetizing, unbalanced, unemotional, uneasy, unclean, etc, etc...

There is a real problem with being circumcised if it was done to you during childhood. The BIG problem is that it took away the individual's right to decide over his own body. Also, I don't look at this as saying that a circumcised man is "damaged goods" but people should be aware of the impact of function to the penis and sexual intercourse. Reality is that there are guaranteed losses for a circumcised man. The word 'intact' fosters the idea that a body is complete with all its functioning parts. For these reasons "intact" is the correct term IMO.

[perspective]

Originally Posted by tutucrazy

I think since we don't call intact girls "uncirced" then we shouldn't us this term for boys. Just b/c we live in a society that is accustomed to circing boys does not change the reality of the situation.

Well its more complex then that. In our society we define men by their penis status. A guy is circumcised, or uncircumcised. A girl is just a girl. For guys unfortunately we have to use a term.

The word 'intact' fosters the idea that a body is complete with all its functioning parts. For these reasons "intact" is the correct term IMO.

Yes, thats true, but this is about more then simply being factual. A woman who has had a mastectomy, literally is no longer a fully intact woman biologically. But would you tell such a woman something like that, or make comments about women who had this procedure in that way? Probably not, because it would be insulting.

I am not saying either term is better, just making the case that each term can be just as insulting, and we need to be mindful in how we speak.

[Kokopelli-mana]

Originally Posted by KissyStarfish

My husband is still mad that his mother had him circumcised when he was age 5, and has told her so lol. I love the woman but she made the choice so he would look the same as all the other boys. Our son is intact and we have never had even a slight problem with diapering, rashes, cleanliness, etc. Congratulations on your decision! :

OT, I know, but my ds is intact as well and never had a single problem down there. I don't even specifically wash his penis - he just goes in he bath with sis and they play for an hour (supervised) and they're done!
So all the neurotic cleaning instructions are bogus, in my mind.

Anyway, sorry for Off Topic comment. Just had to throw it out there.

[benj]

Originally Posted by MyBoysBlue

My husband who is "Intact" doesn't like the term "uncircumcised." It makes it sound like it is something that should have been done but wasn't, which is totally wrong. Especially since he is perfectly happy with his "Intact" state. It depends on the guys point of view.

Yes, I agree. I was left intact as a baby (although recently circumcised) and the word uncircumcised made me feel like there was something wrong with me. And since the OP brought up that her husband was circumcised for the locker room thing...nothing ever happened to me in a locker room about my intactness. Girls were actually more vicious about it than guys could ever be.