or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Boys who end up being girls...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Boys who end up being girls... - Page 2

post #21 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by DivineMrsM View Post
yeah, and my son and i have a fantastic bond. so i know i will be wonderfully bonded with my second son as well. i'm still just a little sad. gimme a few more days and i'll be good! lol
Mom of two boys here and probably not having any more children. I hear your pain and had the same. Sending you hugs. I love the pictures of your 2nd son.
post #22 of 38
Every story I have heard about the U/S being wrong was the other way around (a girl per u/s and ended up being a boy).

I have 2 boys and I love, love, love it!!
post #23 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by DivineMrsM View Post
i SOOO wanted to find a great guy and have a daughter who will have a great dad. and i found that guy! he might not be the world's greatest husband, but he sure as hell is a great father. and i wanted my daughter to benefit from having the best dad.

<snip>

thank you to those who understand and support me in my grief. which it really is. i was telling my dh last nite, that it IS a loss. i feel like someone has died. i know that sounds extreme, but this is something i've wanted my WHOLE life. there was no doubt in my mind that i would have a daughter. it was just a given. so it's hard to just let that go.
It IS grief. Yeah, sure, it's not the world's most critical situation, but it is grief. And, it does not diminish being thrilled to have children A) at all and B) born healthy. For me, I recognized that I was hoping to find closure to some of my motherhood issues (abandoned by my mom at 3) by parenting a girl to adulthood. I, too, feel like no one in my family will ever relate to my journey as a mom. It's not a feeling, it's reality - my sons will never understand the journey of a mom, even if they are Super Dads! And, I have nieces that I enjoy, but your own kids are your own kids. Not having daughters when it is one of your heart's dreams is a loss that can't be replaced.

You'll of course adore your new boy. And, you might feel a wistfulness for the rest of your life, a wondering about the terrain of the road not traveled. And it will be okay - the joy and the sadness. You will love your 2 boys and love that they have each other to revel in their boyness. And, you might long for a girl. Life is deep, yo.

Hugs to you, mama. (I actually felt this way more with my first. Was convinced it was a girl, dreamed he was a girl. But, here HE is. )

Sorry, not trying to hijack thread, just hoping you feel less alone to know others can relate to the intensity of your reaction.
post #24 of 38
i know someone who was told she was having her third boy and it came out a girl. but i would brace yourself for a buy since that is what they saw.

(((hugs))) i have three girls and wouldn't trade them for the world but there is still a part of me that holds out a glimmer of hope for a son.
post #25 of 38
Thread Starter 
thank you so much, RunAround! it is nice to know i'm not alone. my husband is trying very hard to be understanding, but i shocked him with the intensity of my reaction! lol i'm fine today. no tears or anything. already beginning the acceptance phase of it all! lol but when the tech told us he was a boy, after we left the office, i crumpled. literally. i fell to the ground, sobbing. lol and i had a couple of crying jags thru the day. but i'm good now.

i am going to ask my midwife if she can send me for another ultrasound. not because i think the gender was wrong, but because i was so preocupied with finding out, that i didn't really enjoy it. so i want to see my son again and see how perfect he is, penis and all! lol
post #26 of 38
As you can see from my username, I am the lucky mom of three boys. I actually love being a "boy mom". Mine are getting older -they are now 18, 15 and 11 - and I can tell you that even though they all love their dad, nobody loves their mom like a boy loves his mom. My guys are all towering above me already, but they treat me so well and show me such love everyday that I feel absolutely adored and blessed. There is such a special bond there. I wouldn't trade what I have for anything. And, believe me, once they become big , burly, handsome young men, you'll have more girls hanging around than you'll know what to do with! What you are feeling is natural, but you are in for a joyous (if smelly!) ride! Enjoy those boys!
post #27 of 38
Twice I was convinced my ultrasounds were wrong... twice, I was wrong. I adore my boys, though

However, my neighbor, who is a doula, was given two separate ultrasounds at two different offices, and told her oldest was a boy both times. Her oldest is the sweetest girl I've ever met. So don't give up hope, if you don't wanna!
post #28 of 38
DD was a boy, according to the doctors.
post #29 of 38
My friend's SIL was told her entire pregnancy she was having a boy, and it wasn't until it was born they discovered she was a girl.

That said, brothers are a beautiful thing. I have two boys, and I sometimes wonder if I am going to be sad about not having a daughter, but oh my gosh, I adore my little boys so much, and they are such good friends, that I would never want to have had one of them be a girl.

ETA: I can really relate to something you wrote in one of your follow up posts. I was always more comfortable with the idea of having boys, as I have always gotten along so well with boys. I have girlfriends, but it is men that I really bond with easily. But, if there were to be one reason I would I want a girl, it would be so that they could have a father like my dh. My dad loves me, and would sacrifice his life for me, but I never felt adored by him like so many of girlfriends were by their fathers. I always knew that he never really thought I was very pretty, it really bugged him whenever I put on a little weight (just as an FYI, I am 5'8" and at my heaviest was a size 12), he disappointed me during times when I thought he should have been protecting me, and I just never felt that girly father/daughter connection. My dh would be the world's most adoring father of a little girl, and that is something that I think about quite often. However, I have recognized that that is more about coming to terms with my own pain of my childhood, and that it's probably healthier for me to work it out myself rather than trying to heal it by having a daughter. And like you said, my two boys get to have an awesome dad who not only does the "manly" things like sports and building things and muscle cars, but also cleans house and changes diapers and kisses boo boos and treats their mom like Queen. I couldn't ask for a better example of what being a "man" means than my dh.
post #30 of 38
When I saw the thread title earlier, I thought it was a whole different subject.

My 2nd niece was supposed to be a boy. They were so convinced by the u/s that they only had boys names picked out, boy outfits to come home in, etc. Luckily they already had a girl so it wasn't all bad..... 2nd niece could wear
1st niece's old stuff! I always joke that the u/s tech got it half right, because 2nd niece is a real tomboy!
post #31 of 38
My neighbor`s 5-year-old was supposed to be a boy..and she is a girl. Boyish girl, but nevertheless, a girl.
post #32 of 38
Well, to give you a little bit of hope - the penis could always turn out to be the cord between the legs... Was it a 3D u/s?
post #33 of 38
I really understand. It sounds like you are being realistic with your grief and dealing with it.

I'm glad DP & I ended up with 1 boy & 1 girl since we are only having two, but I did feel a little grief when I found out DS was a boy (even though we were hoping for a boy). Because I knew then that DD would never have a sister and growing up my sister was such a big part of my life. DP, meanwhile, grew up the middle of three boys so he also really understood that same sex sibling bond. Knowing that we were "done" with girls was a little sad. Sure, we were thrilled we were having a wonderful baby boy, but I went ahead and mourned the knowledge I would never witness that sister relationship between my own children.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jnet24 View Post
Well maybe I am just speaking for myself but I thought this was going to be about something different than an ultrasound result. I thought you mant more towards the literal "boys who end up being girls..." So that could explain the 70 views.
post #34 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by jnet24 View Post
Well maybe I am just speaking for myself but I thought this was going to be about something different than an ultrasound result. I thought you mant more towards the literal "boys who end up being girls..." So that could explain the 70 views.

I think it is more likely for them to tell you it is a girl and it is a boy.
laughup Exactly. I was thinking about the famous pregnant man who switched sexes. I thought this was going to be an unconditional love kinda thread.
post #35 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by jnet24 View Post
Well maybe I am just speaking for myself but I thought this was going to be about something different than an ultrasound result. I thought you mant more towards the literal "boys who end up being girls..." So that could explain the 70 views.

I think it is more likely for them to tell you it is a girl and it is a boy.

I was thinking the same thing.
post #36 of 38

Ultrasounds had my L being a boy until the last one...



I had to exchange alot of baby items ...I think they changed it to a girl at her 25 week maybe ultrasound maybe? Hmmm....

That is why they say it is never a 100% guarenteed thing..

I work with a lady at the hospital who had a girl..They said she would never get preggers again..when her girl was 9 she spontaneously got preg. again..They wanted a boy so very badly because they knew she would never get preg. again. All the utlrasounds showed a girl..Right up to the end.They painted the room pink..Bought hundreds of dollers worth of pink frilly attire..She went into labor..On the table the little one popped out..Her OB held the baby up and yelled It's a Boy!!!! It got real quiet in there..Then the OB stopped and said ...Wait a minute...Didn't I say this was going to be a girl?

So instead of a Katie they got a Ethan..A very much wanted Ethan.But everyone at the hospital still teases Dr.C and the mom over thier girl/boy...

Things happen..Never give up hope...
post #37 of 38
I have been wondering the same thing but in reverse, OP! I am pregnant with twins and we have gotten multiple shots of their "business" some even at the same time and right up in it! I highly doubt they are boys (or even 1 is) but sometimes I allow myself to dream...

These are girls 4 and 5 for us with no boys and no more after this.
post #38 of 38
Anything is possible!

We really went back and forth about whether to learn gender and I pushed for it because I really wanted a girl and wanted to have time to prepare myself for a boy if that was what was coming.

I didn't end up learning until my third trimester and I had gotten myself all psyched for a boy. I had a name, had an image of him and was dreaming about him.

Then we found out it was a girl! Even tho I wanted a girl so much, I had to grieve the image of the boy I had dreamt of. I had to think of names fast because I didn't have girly names picked out.

Now that we are thinking of #2, I find myself hoping we get a boy because I love the mother-son dynamic. I know the mama-daughter relationship usually gets hard, because I am a daughter! And I have always been so close with my daddy...

But ultimately, I think this is about expectations and letting go of them. You never know who you will get and what it will bring. 9 months is too long, gives us too much time to get ourselves all worked up.

Blessings to you on your pregnancy and delivery!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Boys who end up being girls...