I'm so disappointed in myself/angry/sad

[grapejuicemama]

So, as a lot of us are, my family is on very rocky financial ground right now.

We just moved out of our home in town and into a home with no indoor plumbing except a kitchen sink that we must turn on from the outside. We haul the water from my in-laws well. This was a decision that we made because we were in danger of losing our home to foreclosure, so we were able (thankyouthankyouthankyou) to rent it out to another family instead.

Today, I found out that we were charged $455 in overdraft fees by Bank of America. I can't believe it. FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE DOLLARS! I called them, but because I'm not actually a victim of identity theft, they won't do anything.

All of these fees happened on one day. They were retro-active charges, so even though I had checked my balance, the transactions hadn't been processed. Therefore, every little $1.00 charge resulted in a $35.00 fee.

We've spent the entire week moving with three children. It's the end of the term, so I have finals and projects like crazy due right now. The stove is broken at the "rental" so I have to find someone to fix that. I'm so exhausted and at the end of my rope. My husband is laid off from work. We have no bathroom. No hot water. My 2 year old is potty learning in an outhouse. I have two exams on Thurs. and can't concentrate. I have projects due on Thurs. and can't concentrate. I can't sleep, I just keep going over all the bills that are due/past due that we can't pay.

I know. Boohoo me. I realize I'm still pretty fortunate. Millions of people all over the world have it worse than me. I realize that. At least we're all together and healthy. I just needed to write this all out to get some perspective.

Goals:
Convert to a cash-only system
Maintain inspiration by visiting MDC frugality board
Suck it up and get on with life

I think I'm aging pre-maturely

[nannymom]

I think it's valid to say boo hoo poor you -that all sucks.
I'm sorry you are strugleing so much with all of this.

[grapejuicemama]

Originally Posted by nannymom

I think it's valid to say boo hoo poor you -that all sucks.
I'm sorry you are strugleing so much with all of this.

Thank you so much for your support. It's nice just to have your feelings validated, yanno?

[Ruthla]

[ShareBear]

Thank you for posting this, helps me keep my own problems in perspective. I know that moving is tough, and I can't imagine having projects and exams right after moving, that's insane. And I know how it feels to find out that you have lost money due to something stupid like overdraft fees.

I'm sorry I don't have anything helpful to say, other than maybe if you go in to the bank and argue/plead, they might reduce the fees somewhat. My ex (who is pretty brazen about asking people to do things for him) has always had at least partial success with talking his way out of overdraft fees, though the success rate drops the more often you attempt it.

[Thystle]

Seriously feel free to boo hoo all you want.


Just because some people in the world have it worse does NOT mean it does not suck for YOU at this moment.

Vent away!

[angie7]

I would be boo-hooing too! I'm so sorry, those bank fees are awful! I would call and talk to a manager at the bank. I use to work at a bank and sometimes we would forgive overdraft fees so it's worth a shot

[cristina47454]

I feel your pain. There were SEVERAL months in a row that we were struggling to make ends meet and we would inadvertently overdraw our account. I KNOW the frustration you are feeling!!!!! When you are scraping by and then get SLAMMED with hundreds of dollars in fees, hen you are pinching pennies is SO infuriating. I cried one month (I'm not a crier). My husband yelled and screamed another month. Just pick yourself up, resolve not to let it happen again, try to get them to reverse, and in the meantime, switch to cash until it's under control!!

[sinsaratea]

oh mama, hugs to you. it DOES suck so don't feel bad about venting. i got despondent just reading it!!!

Please try to get at least some of those fees knocked off. Explain your situation, and I mean all of it. Outhouse, rental stove, etc. Cry if you can! Pray that someone receptive picks up the call.

Hang in there.

[youngwife]

I am so sorry. I feel your frustrations! Really. I do.

[mamatoakd]

Can you go to your local branch and have a really nice, friendly chat with the manager? If that doesn't work, try their 800#. If that doesn't work, write a letter to the CEO. Explain your situation - keep it brief but let them know that you're a struggling family trying to pull it together and plan to be customers for life. Say that you don't expect all the charges to be wiped away but is there anything they can do?

I call and write letters all the time and find that businesses are generally willing to work with you. Include facts, be brief and upbeat (i.e., you love their product/service and will remain a loyal customer if only...).

I'll bet they work with you on it.

Good luck!

[Surfacing]

Oh Mama, it is hard when you're penny pinching and get hit with something like that. Feel free to vent here all you want. Sucks to be in your situation!!!!!!

This will pass...... this will pass...... $$$$$$

[Om Girl]

: mama....what a tough place you're in.

Of course it's BOA that's being a pain in your tushie. I'd call them and in a very sticky sweet nice way ask them to reverse the charges.

Also, come and join us in the no-spend challenge stickied at the top of the Finance and Frugality boards!

[laohaire]

I think it's worth it to try again with BOA; even if they only knock off say 1/3 that's worth (more than) an hour or whatever of your time. I think that if they didn't bend, I would end the conversation by saying "Then I need to close the account." I'd take my cashier's check and find a local institution that has more sane overdraft policies.

A couple of years ago we travelled (by air) to visit my parents. DH checked the account balance before we left but didn't have access to check again when we were at my parent's. If he had thought about it he would have realized that some payments had not been applied yet, but he was busy dealing with travel and when he used the debit card it was always approved. That's what really made us angry; the card was approved even though we were overdrawing. There's no reason in the world the ACH technology couldn't decline the card except to increase the overdraft fees for the bank. So we got home and got a letter informing us we had hundreds of dollars in overdrafts, many of them for transactions $5 or less. At first DH and I decided to suck it up because it was our responsibility to track our balance, but we felt angrier and angrier about how the debits would just sail through even though, according to the records, we had already overdrafted. So we feel this is really a shared responsibility and it's unethical for the bank to set you up for maximum fees this way. We called and they agreed to cut half the overdraft fees, which satisfied us because we also did feel partly responsible. We also stopped using the debit card; if we are in a situation where cash is not available or appropriate we use a credit card (which we pay off in full every month - but we know we're not going to hit the limit or get any overdrafts).

[traceface]

Originally Posted by cristina47454

Just pick yourself up, resolve not to let it happen again, try to get them to reverse, and in the meantime, switch to cash until it's under control!!

This.

Those fees are outrageous.

If I were you I would go in(after your exams are over), sit at one of those desks where you talk to a manager-person. Start by being calm, professional, with an air about you that *of course* they will help. Then keep sitting there, explaining, being dramatic, breaking down, whatever, until they reverse at least 1/2.

If you haven't done it many many times I'd say the chances are good that you can get a couple hundred back. But go in with the attitude that it'll be okay either way

[grapejuicemama]

Thanks for all your support. You guys are so great.

I'm much better today. I'm usually pretty good at putting things back into perspective after the initial shock.

I already did talk to BOA. They won't refund the money.

I'll just eat it and move on. I have food, shelter, health and scholarship money coming soon. Really, life is grand.

[HappyMommy2]

BoA is the WORST. I do not do any business with them anymore. They are infamous for crazy fees.

But - really - you don't have to take "no" for an answer. Keep talking to people until you get a better answer! Call the local branch, call the corporate numbers, ask for managers, etc. Good luck!!

After you get this cleared up, you should switch banks.

[Altair]

Yea, when this happened to me I felt so ashamed that at first I took all their "no"s.... but then I got mad too thinking about how unfair it was that debits that had been held up for WEEKS were being withdrawn in one day. I called the bank, didn't work Went in and talked to someone, didn't work. talked to manager, cried, reminded him I had been with their banks for YEARS and never had a problem before, and eventually he made some excuse about how some of them weren't my fault and took off half.

keep trying. yes, it's our own stupid faults, but it's a HUGE penalty for a mistake any busy stressed out person can make.

[ollineeba]

[lil_earthmomma]

erm... I'd be boohooing about having no running water, toilet, shower... I've roughed it, I've lived in a tribe in the rain forests of panama, but that doesn't mean that I don't LOVE LOVE LOVE running water and flushing toilets!

to you, you are a brave and strong mama with a great attitude! I admire you.