Atheist/Agnostics

[ticklemegreen]

I know they're not the same, but for the sake of my thread I'm grouping them together. Atheist/Agnostics or really anyone who doesn't follow a specific religion, do you ever feel like you are missing out on something? I think I lean more towards the agnostic side, but growing up I attended a christian church twice a week and lately I miss it. It's not the religion aspect, I don't miss worshiping/believing in a God. I dont know, it's like I'll hear a religous song that I used to really like growing up and I'll sing along for a bit and get that familiar happy feeling then it'll dawn on me that the song I'm singing represents something I don't really agree with or believe in. I just sometimes wished I believed in something.

[*Jade*]

Mmmm, sometimes. I guess especially in terms of times of grief when people seem to really rely on their faith, sometimes I feel envious of that.

[APBTlover]

"I just sometimes wished I believed in something."

Me, too. I am very much agnostic, very confident in my belief that there is SOMETHING... God or Goddess, Jesus, Zeus, Isis, Manitou, Artemis, though, I have no idea. For me I think the biggest thing is my envy of people surrounded by those who believe what they believe. Just that sense of community, the sense that, whatever problems you face, there are other people around you who have faced those problems from the same angle you are. I don't know how to explain it, really. But, yeah, I do feel like I'm missing something.

[Monarchgrrl]

I also sing along to worship songs that I hear on TV. I just like the songs, or it takes me back to the memory of being around all my friends in high school. (I was only in the church circle for 3 years- didn't grow up in it) I still really like hearing gospel choirs or singers. I can appreciate the music, even if I don't believe in what they are singing about.

If I miss anything, I miss the fellowship and friendships from church. I also used to wish that I had that comfort of "knowing" where my brother went when he died. I think faith would have helped a lot. It would have been much easier to say or think "He's in a better place now, he's with god in heaven". But, now that I'm a little further along in my grief journey, I'm glad that I didn't just rely on that as a crutch and somewhat bury my other questions or grief. I've really had to work through it and it's hard, but worth it.

[EFmom]

I was raised by very Catholic parents, but knew by age 7 that I would never be part of the Catholic church. Deep down, I was agnostic even then, but spent many years trying different denominations. Dh takes the kids to a UU church, but I'm even done with that.

There are very few things I miss. I find ritual just plain silly, so I don't miss any of that. I do like stained glass and arches, so I find some church buildings calm and restful. Any feeling of community at any of the churches I attended always struck me as superficial, so that's not a loss.

I do miss being able to tell my kids that there is a heaven where we will all (including our pets) be reunited when we die. I don't believe that and really never have, but it's a nice, bland, comforting thought that helps one avoid dealing with the finality of death.

I don't miss "believing in something." I do believe in something. I believe in science, in evidence and in critical thinking.

[Hatteras Gal]

The only thing I miss is Christmas Eve Mass. And if I were back home I'd probably go. But besides that, no. Well, I take that back. The idea of heaven was really nice and comforting.

[annethcz]

Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl

If I miss anything, I miss the fellowship and friendships from church.

This is what I miss also. I made a lot of close friendships with people at church just because I saw them so often.

[purplepaperclip]

Short, simple answer...

No. I don't miss a thing.

[ticklemegreen]

Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl

If I miss anything, I miss the fellowship and friendships from church.

I think this is what I miss more than anything else as well.

Thanks for all of your responses.

[chaoticzenmom]

Well, not necessarily miss something, but....I always wanted something I never got. I wanted a community, like people at church. I always wanted to go to church and feel moved like so many people I saw there when they're nodding and inspired, muttering "amen." I want to believe that my loved ones will be waiting for me in heaven and that death will really only be a beginning. I feel sad that my kids also want to believe that and I can't give it to them. I've never had a religion, so I'm not missing anything I ever had, but I always wanted that church experience.

When I started going, I was always dissapointed that I spent the whole time getting tense at everything the minister said. I would start to dislike all the people around who actually were yelling "amen" to this crap.LOL I've visited many different types of churches, Church of God, baptist, one church in deep Arkansas where everyone wore skirts, didn't shave or marry outside the church and they spoke in prophecy, Presbyterian, non-denominational, Catholic, all in search of whatever it was made people love church.

We attend a UU church and I'm finally getting those excited feelings of being inspired and in total agreement with the minister and what she says. We're making friends there and I'm so happy that my kids are learning how to be better people without learning about sin or God. I can take comfort that since there's no afterlife, I can really appreciate and cherish what I have now with my loved ones.

So, no, I don't miss anything, but it took me a long time to finally find what I wanted.

[Sailor]

I can't say I miss anything, or feel that something is missing. I'm very interested in theology and religion, but more in a "let's study/immerse myself in it for secular reasons and to gain a deeper understanding of said culture."

In terms of wishing you believed in something - why don't you? I'm an atheist, but I still "believe" in life, community, humanity. In the sense that life, nature, the universe is so awe inspiring, so huge, so infinite that I can't help but feel a thrill that I'm a part of it all. I'm also a part of a community in the sense that we're all living on this planet, and I believe in that community in the sense that I think we're all connected and I try to "give back" to it as much as I can.

As an atheist, you're not standing on "zero" - you just either don't believe in a deity or are unsure or don't care either way.

But, everything else - including worship of life (let's face it, even in bad times, it's pretty darn fantastic) is open to you.

You might want to look into something called "spiritual atheism". Though, it sounds like an oxymoron. But ... in fact, it's more of a secular worship and appreciation for life, no deity involved.

[Adele_Mommy]

I am agnostic and I don't miss anything I used to have because I was raised to be an atheist by atheist parents. However, I did spend some time looking for a community where I could get a sense of belonging, and I do like to have a spiritual aspect to my life. I have found all that and more at my UU church. Being a member of a church has greatly enriched my life. I did need to find a church where I wasn't sitting there disagreeing with everything the minister says and wondering whether the people around me actually believed it. UU is an excellent fit for me.

[jenneology]

I grew up atheist/agnostic (depended on my age and time of life) and really enjoyed the religious community of the Unitarian Church where both groups can comfortably find a home. More than anything, the UU Church was a place where spirituality could be explored and experienced without needing to have a belief in who or whatever. Another option that I recently discovered for a religious community is the Science of mind/ Center for Spiritual Living folks. They tend to express a belief in God but I'd say that many attendees lean agnostic.

Both organizations provide an aspect of community and connection with others that I find sacred. I especially enjoy what I consider the free flowof ideas that can and often is exchanged between attendees.

[ticklemegreen]

I had never her of the UU church, I'm going to look into it. Thank you all.

[ticklemegreen]

I just want to say thank you again. I've looked into the UU and it looks exactly like what I've been looking forward, I've found two in my area and plan on checking on out on Sunday. Thank you again! I really appreciate hearing from others who understand! I knew I could count on the MDC mama's! :

[chaoticzenmom]

our UU church has online sermons. I must say that I could listen to her voice all day.

http://euuc.org/congregation/sermons.php

Listen to a few if you want a taste. I really liked the "threatened with resurrection" and "What to tell the children"

[beansmama]

The ONLY thing i feel like i'm missing out on is the easy friends that come along with organized religion. It's much harder to meet people when you aren't going to church or church groups every week...and I'm pretty anti-social, so it's especially hard for ME to meet people...

In general though I feel SO much more free since declaring I am an atheist :

[Adele_Mommy]

Originally Posted by ticklemegreen

I just want to say thank you again. I've looked into the UU and it looks exactly like what I've been looking forward, I've found two in my area and plan on checking on out on Sunday. Thank you again! I really appreciate hearing from others who understand! I knew I could count on the MDC mama's! :

That is great news! I hope you have a good experience visiting a UU church. If you don't like the first one you visit, do try the second because UU congregations can vary a lot!

MDC UU Mamas have a monthly thread that you are welcome to check out as well: June Thread. This is a great place to ask any questions you may have before or after your visits. I know some of the people who post there regularly are atheists and agnostics.

[PretzelMama]

I used to wish I believed, when I was younger. Not anymore. Life is so beautiful & amazing as it is, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

[Contrariety]

For a long time I used to ache to believe... but I found something much bigger and much more tangible that really grounds me.

I find immeasurable comfort in just being alive... and knowing that when I die, I will return to the dirt I came from. I honestly find it so humbling and comforting. I know with absolute certainty that this will happen. I don't have to hope or have faith.

I am also really humbled to be part of the human machine. I thoroughly enjoy living my life as one of a myriad of human possibilities.

My only real sense of duty is to my biology...myself, my children, my current existence. I don't have to think beyond that... and that pleases me in away I never found possible in my struggles to try and believe in god. Of course I do try and think ahead of that for the sake of my posterity in regards to things like socio-political stability and environmental awareness... but if it comes down to it... fight or flight style, I don't have to think about it, and I personally enjoy that freedom very much.

Day to day, I will admit that I sometimes long for the sense of community I had growing up in the church of my parents (LDS), but I don't think I would have to try too hard to find something else like that if I really wanted to (i.e. intentional communities and the like).