When to let them go? How? *She is gone*

[HRC121799]

We are home now. She is gone.


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She's not doing good, she urinated while laying on the deck in the sun laying down. her eyes look funny, we can still hear her breathing. I just got off the phone with the vet. I can't maker her suffer like this any longer for my own selfish reasons of wanting to be with her.

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I've posted before about our amazing cat, Lily. She started having issues last August and we found out in December that she has polycystic kidney disease and was sufferring from renal failure. We've kept up with her medicines (4-6 pills a day) and sub-q fluids (every other day) and special diet food, which has now become baby food as she won't go near dry or canned cat food (any kind).

We knew the time was coming. She has lost a lot more weight. She's not really eating or drinking the last few days. She's stumbling and having a hard time getting around. Earlier today we started hearing her breathing, so that must be getting harder.

At what point do we say "okay, enough" and let her go? Do we let her go naturally? Do we get her put to sleep? The vet said she's not in actual pain, more just a yucky "blah" feeling.

She still loves to be pet. She loves laying in the sunshine on the deck (she's an indoor cat, but we've been taking her on the deck to be in the warm sunshine).

I just don't know what to do. Stop her medicine to let her go in peace? Put her to sleep? What? We do plan on cremating her when the time comes, so I know that much. The kids are devastated that the time is nearing. Or here. She may not make it through the night. I don't know.

[KimL]

I am so sorry you have to go thru this. I do not have an answer for you. we put our 17 year old springer spaniel down last fall. He as blind and deaf and had severe demensia. He could only take left turns so he walked in circles. He was aggressive towards my husband, who was bit about 50 times in 6 months. He only wanted to lay on my lap and and whine for about 6 months. I had to carry him up our two flights of stairs twice daily and had to hold him upright to pee / poop. EVERYONE told me it was time. So, we did it. But, at the moment it happend my heart still crushed and I'm weeping right now just remembering it. I cannot say I felt any peace with his passing and I miss him so much. BUT- it probably was time. So, don't look for a clearcut "time"... do it when your cat NEEDS to go because if you're as bonded as I was there just ISN'T going to be a right time for you! I hope you find peace in it all. *hugs*

[phatchristy]

If you're doing all of that...meds, sub-Q fluids and she's still gone anorexic and now you're hearing circulatory issues, etc. it's pretty clear that her organs are failing now. For me, seeing the loss of coordination too is a huge sign (I've seen this in two of my PKD cats).

A cat suffering from chronic renal failure (from whatever the cause) is going to feel 'crummy--very sick', so there is not 'pain' associated with it until the cat goes end stage.

But, she sounds end stage to me. What has me the most concerned personally is the breathing issues, because it could be conjestive heart failure can be a way that they die at the end, and that is very painful. However, on the flip side there are cats that will slip into a coma near the end and die fairly painlessly. I've known people who are against euthanasia (for religious reasons, etc.) and I've heard both stories.

Here is a link that may help you make your decisions. http://www.felinecrf.org/the_final_h..._re_euthanasia

She talks about the choice on whether to choose euthanasia, etc. or to have a natural death. Hopefully that will help you to make a decision.

I've dealt with this multiple times, and will again have to deal with this most likely (all three cats here are genetically pkd positive, hopefully thought hey will outlive that--one of their fathers died from something else first). It's not easy, but my own personal choice here was to euthanize prior to them feeling the discomfort and pain of end stage. But I know for some people, in today's economy may not be able to afford that either.

[HealingBeam]

But, at the moment it happend my heart still crushed and I'm weeping right now just remembering it. I cannot say I felt any peace with his passing and I miss him so much. BUT- it probably was time. So, don't look for a clearcut "time"...

My experience with euthanasia is exactly the same.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with the hardest part of having a pet.

[gumby74]

I'm sorry............I agree with the PP. It sounds like the end is here and if it was me, I would spend the money to euthanize her instead of allowing her to go on her own. Best wishes and I feel for your children. It's so hard to see a pet pass as an adult, I remember how even more sad it was as a child. Take Care!

[HRC121799]

Thanks you guys. It's definitely not the money that's stopping me from doing it. I think I'll call her vet today and at least talk to them and tell them what's going on.

We knew this was coming. I write out her pill/fluids schedule on our calendar. A month ago I started writing it in two week increments instead of a full month's worth.

If there's a possibility they can come to our house to do it, what's better? Do it at home or drive to their office? Lily has been in the car a ton, we always hold her, no carrier. It's less than 10 minutes away.

[Alyantavid]

At what point do we say "okay, enough" and let her go? Do we let her go naturally? Do we get her put to sleep?

For us, it was when our dog got to the point that she wouldn't get better. She couldn't eat or drink and was miserable unless someone was petting her. We knew that was it, that we couldn't make any of it better. But still, deciding to have her put down was horrible. I still feel guilty about it and I know that at least now, she isn't in pain anymore.

We took ours to the vet. Our kids were devastated and I don't think my oldest could have handled it at all. They said good-bye and we took her in.

[HRC121799]

We're taking her in in two hours. She urinated while laying down outside in the sun on the deck. Her eyes look funny and we can still hear her breathing. I think she is not happy being here anymore.

[gumby74]

Again, I am so sorry and thinking about you.....

[HRC121799]

She is gone. We are home. We took her in with her two favorite squishy balls and blankets from our house and some flowers from our garden so she could smell flowers and not the vet smells as she went. The vet examined her and said that she was breathing more in her abdomen and she didn't hear it in her lungs really. She was likely so toxic already that her brain was affected. There was no need to sedate her, she was already so out of it. I held her and whispered to her as it happened. The vet said we had done a wonderful job the last 6 months, giving her a good quality of life even though she was having kidney failure. She was also very dehydrated.

It feels so weird at home without her. I have her blankets and squishy balls and we have some of her fur that the vet shaved off afterwards to put in a bag for us. I feel so empty without her. I'm sure our other cats will be weirded out too, once they realize she's not coming back.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I am so, so, so sorry at the loss of your sweet girl. I lost my kitty last Friday and am still reeling from it. They really leave such a gaping hole in our hearts and our homes when they go. It sounds like you gave her so much, especially at the end. I am so sad that my own was surrounded by the sights and smells of the vets office for her last two days here on earth, but I was there with her as I had the vet let her go.

It is the absolute hardest part of pet ownership and so very hard to think that this time will ever come when we bring our furballs home for the very first time. Be gentle with yourself right now. :

[Catubodua]

i'm sorry for your loss

[Rach]

I am sorry for your family's loss.

[angie7]

:

[kblackstone444]

Originally Posted by HRC121799

She was likely so toxic already that her brain was affected. There was no need to sedate her, she was already so out of it. I held her and whispered to her as it happened.

I truly believe that, even when they're completely "out of it", they know on a subconscious level that they're loved and that their loved ones are saying goodbye.



Lily

[HealingBeam]

I'm so sorry

[BookGoddess]

It's such a tough crushing decision to make. I still cry when I think of the pets of mine who passed away to renal failure and seizures. You do so much but in the end even your best is just not enough because it's time to let them go. It sounds like you gave her a wonderful life and a loving good bye. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Leta]

Lily

[phatchristy]

So sorry about your dear kitty.

[HRC121799]

It's been a couple of days now. Today dh went to the vet and picked up her remains. We had a private cremation done. There is a nice little wooden box and a blue velvet bag with something about the rainbow bridge on it. Eventually we may get a different urn or something.

I've cried every day since we lost her. When I'm at home is the hardest. Then nighttime and waking up. She was so unselfish. It's so hard to describe. I have three other cats. I love them too, and they are great, but they are so "for themselves" if that makes sense. Like a typical cat I guess. Lily was no typical cat. She lived to be with us, to snuggle us, to lay with us, to follow us, to be amazingly playful and adorable for us. And we lived to make her happy. I keep trying to get the other cats to snuggle with me at night,lol. They are not having it. I don't know that I'll never know another cat that is remotely like her. I'm still so upset. I want to rearrange all the furniture in the house so I'm not constantly reminded of where she always was in the house in correlation to where I was. This has been so, so hard. Harder than I thought it would be.