When to let them go? How? *She is gone* - Page 2

[phatchristy]

Originally Posted by HRC121799

Lily was no typical cat. She lived to be with us, to snuggle us, to lay with us, to follow us, to be amazingly playful and adorable for us. And we lived to make her happy. I keep trying to get the other cats to snuggle with me at night,lol. They are not having it. I don't know that I'll never know another cat that is remotely like her. I'm still so upset. I want to rearrange all the furniture in the house so I'm not constantly reminded of where she always was in the house in correlation to where I was. This has been so, so hard. Harder than I thought it would be.

It is much tougher, I know, I've been there. And, I've lost one of those 'once in a lifetime cats before'...I missed him for so long. Now, I actually am able to think about the good memories, eventually you are able to feel that rather than pain and despair of their loss.

And, you never know. I purposefully went out and adopted two adults...two of them in particular are just like you said...the just LONG to be with people. Very outgoing, very in your face, I love you sort of cats. And, BOTH are bed partners. And, they talk...I can have a conversation with them!

One of them in particular I've bonded with just as much as my first kitty love of my life.

So, it DOES happen! So, don't lose hope that you may experience that kind of relationship again. But, do give yourself time to grieve, because it's a deep loss. It's like losing your best friend.

[HRC121799]

We got Lily and one of our other cats when they weren't kittens. And those are the two who are most amazing. Lily had been dropped off at the shelter by her previous owner (and with a really stupid name,lol, so did not fit her awesomeness!) and our other amazing cat had been treated horribly by his previous owner. I'm amazed the amount of love and attachment he is able to show. Our other two cats we've had since kitten-hood and maybe since they've been spoiled since birth they don't appreciate us as much,lol. They are trying though.

Today I'm starting to feel that guilt thing that our vet said a lot of people feel, whether they feel they didn't put them down soon enough or that they did it to hastily. Today I am wondering if we should have tried harder. She had mentioned there were a couple more things we could try, but I felt like Lily was so far gone, she could barely walk straight (well, couldn't walk straight) and was so dehydrated and not eating, that I felt like keeping her alive longer would have been more of a last ditch effort to keep her alive for our own selfish reasons. Letting her go before we messed with her anymore seemed like the humane thing to do, but now, almost a week later, I am feeling like we should have tried. Why didn't I ask her what those things were and if they might work? But then if they didn't work, I would have felt we had made her be uncomfortable for longer. I am trying to keep my head busy. Movies and books when I'm not homeschooling the kids or cleaning. Movies and books.

[William's Mom]

[beanma]

: She sounds like a truly special friend. So sorry for your loss.

[HealingBeam]

I'm starting to feel that guilt thing that our vet said a lot of people feel, whether they feel they didn't put them down soon enough or that they did it to hastily. Today I am wondering if we should have tried harder.

I know exactly what you mean... I'm still there and have to try to keep my mind on other subjects just to stop torturing myself with "should haves".